For Keeps

Linking with Joanne for Talking About It Tuesdays 

As I mentioned in my post yesterday I've flip flopped letters K and L this week, which means that while it's L Day everywhere else in the A-Z Blog Challenge, I'm here blogging letter K. It's fine. Off we go-

 
Day 12-K is for Kids and Their Stuff and Also Their 'Stuff'

I have grown kids, and for the sake of keeping things simple I'm going to refer to them here as kids. In reality they are full grown responsible adults, but it's easier to say kids. 

Plus they're my kids. 

Hubs and I recently made a dent in the great attic clean out and much of what we have stored there belongs to our kids. Or it did at one time, when they were actual kids, and we their parents have hung on to things we thought they might want one day or that we couldn't bear to part with way back when. 

My granddaughters are going to love this glam Barbie who is fully clothed and still has a head full of beautifully coiffed hair. Such is not the case for all the Barbies I kept. 

Quite a few of the things in these attic boxes are mementos from our girl's childhood and teen years. There were yearbooks, ballet slippers, piggy banks, knick knacks and more. 

What do we do with it now? 

We went through a lot of this when we moved from the UK back to the states in 2009 and my girls were college students. The boxes had all been in storage for several years while we were overseas and it was fun to open them up and rediscover so many treasures.

Some junk too because one man's treasure is another man's junk, right? 

We re-boxed a lot of it because they were young and single and the future was way out there and who knows, maybe we'll want that kaboodle or the doll that was won at the fair?

Suddenly (not really) nearly twenty years have sailed by and my kids have kids which makes it a little bit easier to say keep this, toss that. 4th Grade report card? Toss. I mean it's fun to look over, but there's no real need to keep it beyond that. We've consolidated everything but the American Girl Dolls and all their furniture and accessories into one box for each daughter. They can decide for themselves what they deem worthy of keeping. 

The rest feels much easier to part with now than it did back then.  

But what about the other 'stuff' we parents love to hold on to when it comes to our kids? The things they deal with in life that we as their parents, the people who love them most, want to take on, fix, smooth, resolve...what about those things? 

I was brainstorming with my daughter2 about words I might match to the various letters in the challenge and I casually said something about how I might like to talk about grown kids and not taking on their stuff and she, a little too quickly I might add, started nodding her head, saying yes that. 

Hey now. I've come a long way in this department. A very long way, and that's the first thing I'd tell those who are a little bit behind me in the parenting game. It's a process. I have responsible, solid, well adjusted daughters and they manage their lives very well, but still sometimes my brain wants my mouth to chime in...

Have you figured out what to do about the dog while you're away? Your kids had the measles vaccine right? Measles are back ya know. Should you be traveling out of the country with the state of things as they are currently? Have you thought about this that the other?? 

Hubs and I are a good team in this department because we don't seem to be concerned about the same things at the same time. This allows us to keep one another in check. I tell him 'that's not our donut' and he tells me to 'let them figure it out'. 

We're parents. We'll never not care, right? Here are two things I remind myself of when I'm tempted to intervene...

1. I remind myself what it felt like to be a 35-year old mother of two. Did I want my mom piling on to my worries or telling me I should do A-B-C when I thought X-Y-Z was best? Or did I want my mom to say she was proud of how I was managing all the things there are to manage in any given season? 

2. I remind myself that as much as I love my girls God loves them more. That He has a plan for their lives and His ways are higher and better than my ways. I pray He opens doors, closes doors, protects, emboldens, and that they listen as He speaks into their lives. 

We all learn by doing, sometimes failing, but often succeeding beyond our wildest dreams. 

Once upon a time, I was a young mom who loved to cook, who dreamed of cooking alongside my girls. Tucked into one of those attic boxes I found an old cookbook-

Inside the cover was a love note, written in cursive to my three-year-old daughter who wasn't even old enough to read.

The note was written by a momma who somehow knew one far away day in the future, a box would be opened and that little girl, now a grown married woman with children of her own, would read those words and feel the love behind them.

That little girl cooks with her children now. 

I hope she adds her own note to the page.