Mirrors

Brace yourself for some sentiment...I'm about to get sloppy.

When I was seventeen turning eighteen I left NJ to attend uni in The Volunteer State. That's Tennessee in case you didn't know.

When I was eighteen I didn't know.

I was out of my element in the fall of 1978.

It was love at first sight for me and the great state of Tennessee. I fell head over heels for the lakes, the mountains, a certain boy, the gravy, the people and let's not forget, the accent. If you've been reading my blog thinking I have the voice of a Jersey girl you might be surprised to know I have a little Southern drawl. Pretty sure I picked it up about five minutes after I set foot on Southern soil and there it has remained all these many years later.

I did not know one single solitary person on campus when I arrived so I decided to pledge a sorority. Oh, I know some of you out there are rolling your eyes and conjuring up every stereotype you've ever heard or imagined but y'all...these girls...they made my college years some of the best years of my life. For sure some of the most fun. Like most stereotypes I suppose there is a kernel of truth to some of what you hear on some campuses, but most of what you hear is hogwash (is that a Southern expression?). The girls I knew and still know had/have hearts of gold.

When I look back at my life I see that the college years stand alone. The world was at my doorstep and I had one foot placed tentatively out in it while keeping one planted firmly on the safe soil of youth. We lived in one another's pockets way back when and testing your wings was easier knowing someone was there to catch you if you fell.

I don't know if you've spent much time around college aged girls but let me tell you...so.much.angst. My goodness, we liked our drama and just writing that makes me smile. We could take our little problems and discuss and dissect and analyze and cry and laugh like there was no tomorrow. All problems are big problems when you're twenty. I will add that most of my drama revolved around a certain boy who shall remain nameless but who might possibly have married me. Problem solved.

I spent this past weekend at a little informal reunion of some of the girls who were in my sorority. There were about 20 of us there this year, our third get together in six years. Each year we add a few new attendees who bring their photographs and memories and for a little while we remember what it felt like to be poised at the starting line of our adult lives.

I don't see these women very often although thanks to the magic of facebook we are in better touch as a group than we have been in years. We gather at a gorgeous vacation home set high up in the mountains of North Carolina courtesy of one of the girls. We relax. We hang out in our pjs and have long conversations. We share time in the kitchen and we take a lot of pictures, most of which I won't post here because somehow it doesn't feel right. We put our collective brains together as we try to identify long ago friends in old yearbooks and composites. We all pull out the reading glasses too. I guess some things do change.

Most do not.

We compare notes on aging and children and occupations and we marvel at the different paths we've taken that all lead us back to each other. Being with these girls is effortless. Sorry, but they will always be 'girls' to me. We grew into adulthood together. We studied and didn't study together. We laughed ourselves silly over pranks and antics and a few instances of questionable judgement and we cried over hard things that have happened to people we love in the intervening years.

Mostly though, we remember what it felt like to be weightless. I don't mean in pounds, I mean in life. In 1981 we were not yet weighed down by the seriousness of a grown up world. We were still figuring that out along with about a million other things. It was in this sorority, surrounded by these girls that I learned more about friendship and leadership and confidence than any place else. These girls encouraged me to be my best self.

We're all grown up now and as I look around I feel pride at who we have become. We are an accomplished bunch, working as nurses and teachers, pharmacists and therapists, CEO's of businesses and homes, raising families and caring for aging parents. If you were to stumble upon this group you'd see women over 40, okay most of us are over 50, who look like any other group of women. When I look I see something more. Behind the eyes she's there...the 18 year old girl I knew.

We still share something special that defies both description and definition. And we're still challenging and encouraging one another to be our best selves. Oh, and we're still fun too.