Embracing Quiet

I'm giving Five Minute Friday a try again this week. The instructions are simple-write for five minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word. Link back to Five Minute Friday and invite others to join in too. Consider yourselves invited. Finally, be generous and leave an encouraging comment for the person who linked up before you.

Five minutes of Quiet

The phrase takes me back to mothering small children, back to the days and years I yearned for please just five minutes of quiet.

Almost overnight my girls are grown, and more often than not my house has too much of the quiet I once sought. The same cannot be said for my head. My head does it's best to run a steady soundtrack of everything under the sun.

What do I need at the store? Do I need to do laundry? Married life is hard sometimes. Why did I eat that? Why did I say that? Why didn't I say that? My girls. Are they eating right? Healthy? Content? Locking their doors? Not texting while driving? Seeking God's will for their lives? Am I? What am I doing with my life?

What about...what if...I should...I should have...and round and round it goes. 

I'm reading an interesting book at the moment called The Listening Life-Embracing Attentiveness in a World of Distraction. While I'm not too far in, it's already speaking to me. The author (Adam McHugh) says life in this century often has the feel of an emergency room, with no where to go to escape all the noise. He suspects sometimes too, that the absence of quiet may actually be a reluctance for quiet.

In my case I don't think that's true. I don't try to drown out my internal chatter with a lot of external noise in order to avoid facing my internal chatter. I think I'm guilty of quite the opposite. Of giving too much attention to all my internal chatter. One point the author made that has resonated so deeply with me is this...we won't be transformed by giving voice to all the noise in our souls.

And that's a struggle for me.
To quiet my soul and listen.

Listening is not a passive thing. It requires practice and discipline and most of all obedience. I think it's fair to say I'm still a work in progress.

Wednesday Blogging AKA The Hodgepodge

Welcome to the Wednesday Hodgepodge! Can you believe this time next week we'll be in to the second month of the year? January did not linger. If you've answered the questions here today, add your link at the end of my post. Do your best to drop by and say hi to the blogger who linked before you, because comments make the world go round. The blog world anyway.

Also, I'm wordy today. Some days are like that on From This Side of the Pond.

 

1. Share a winter memory from your childhood.

I remember waking to the magical gift of an unexpected snow day. Of the urgency to hurry through breakfast and put on all those layers in order to get out in it. I remember neighbors up and down the street shoveling sidewalks and drives. I remember building forts made of snow, running from neighbor boys who threw wicked icy fastballs, and sledding with my sister. 

That's me in the blue and my sister in red, standing on a sled. We find something hilarious here, and I wish I knew now what it was. Maybe the notion we were preparing to sled on concrete? Our driveway must have been icy, because I'm not seeing any snow.  I do remember we loved sledding in that saucer.  It was fast and spun like crazy, and all you could do was hold on to the flimsy plastic handles and pray you didn't tip out. It dented easily but you could un-dent it pretty easily too. Do they still make those? 

Also, this picture. Sigh. This is one picture I have of us standing side by side that when I look at it I see my own girls. The unmistakable trace of family around the eyes and nose.  The giggles...the camaraderie...the give and take and push and pull, the deep deep love you feel for that person who grew up beside you.  I see it here. 

2. What was on your blog this time last year? (Besides the Hodgepodge of course!) If you weren't blogging, what in the world were you doing with all that free time?

As it happens I wrote a whole post about this very thing. It was seven years ago this month I started blogging, and I recapped my Januaries here in A Stroll Down Blog Memory Lane.  

Specifically last year though? The wedding of course. 

3.Ellen Goodman is quoted as saying, 'We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched.  Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives...not looking for flaws, but for potential.'

Do you see more flaws or potential in your life at the start of a new year? Have you done anything specific this month to address either one? Does the new year truly begin for you on January 1, or is there some other month of the year that feels like a fresh start and new beginning?

I think I see potential in my flaws? Does that make sense? I like the word picture she paints of walking through our lives room by room, and I would say this is something I do beginning in December. I see areas that need improvement and come up with a plan to improve. I'm not always successful at following through with the plan, but I get excited about making the next year better in some way. 

For me September has always felt like the fresh start, clean beginning. There's something about the end of summer, a new school year, the shorter days and cooler nights and the year-end within sight, that makes me feel hopeful. Like change is possible and inevitable and should be pondered and planned for so I'm ready come January. 

4.Who's an athlete you admire or respect and why?

I imagine some people will turn their noses up at this question, because honestly all we seem to hear about are the athletes who misbehave, and it might be hard to come up with one to admire. I think there are many, and I love when successful people use their money and their name and give their time for good. I especially love the stories of generosity and kindness, performed away from the camera, which isn't always easy to do. 

Tim Tebow, the Manning brothers, and Phil Mickleson are all on my list. 

5.Do you like cream in your coffee? Whipped cream on your pumpkin pie? Cream cheese on a bagel? Sour cream on a baked potato? Cream of wheat for breakfast? Have you ever had a scone with clotted cream? Of all the creamy foods mentioned, which one sounds most appealing to you right this very minute?

I love cream in my coffee, but just a splash and only the good stuff please. No flavored creams, no artificial creams, just the deliciousness that is half and half. Whipped cream on my pumpkin pie? Yes! In my case it might make more sense to ask if I like pie with my whipped cream.  No to the sour cream on a baked potato, yes to the cream of wheat, and a yes to the scone with clotted cream. While clotted cream doesn't sound all that appetizing, it is so yummy! 

Right this minute I'm sipping my Tuesday morning coffee with a splash of cream and all is right with the world. Morning coffee is one of life's small pleasures. 

6.Where were you last kept waiting for 'hours on end'? Or for what felt like hours on end? How well did you cope?

I can't think of anything recently, but one that used to get on my nerves was the veterinarian's office. I always, always had a ridiculous wait there, longer than at any 'human' doctor's office I visited. Yes, I know there are emergencies, but there's also overbooking and poor scheduling. 

7.Believe it or not, when next week's Hodgepodge rolls around it will be February. Huh?!? Bid adieu here to January in seven words or less.

One month closer to the lake house! 

8. Insert your own random thought here.

I'm participating again this year, in the April A-Z blog challenge and wonder if anyone else here is doing the same? For those of you who aren't familiar with the challenge, it's a writing exercise where you blog every day in the month of April (except Sundays), using one letter of the alphabet as your daily prompt. April 1 is Letter A and April 30 Letter Z, which is perfect because when you remove Sundays in April you're left with 26 days and 26 letters. For more info or to sign up, click the link posted here. 

I will tell you up front, there is everything under the sun in terms of content in the blog world, and you figure that out pretty quickly in this challenge. In the past couple of years the organizers have very helpfully created categories, so when bloggers sign up they can select one to identity their blog genre...humor, photography, travel, book reviews, memoir, zombies... 

Okay I kid on that last one, but only sort of. Who knew there were so many sci fi/gaming/mythology fans out there in the blogosphere?  My blog defies description (ahem) so I opt not to choose a category. And you can write with a theme in mind, or you can fly by the seat of your pants. 

Guess which kind of blogger I am? 

Actually I always have a general theme, but it's not one thought out too deeply or too far in advance. I'm more of what you might call a free-flowing blogger-ha!, and believe it or not I do have an idea floating around in my head for this year. I just need to decide if I can fill 26 posts on this particular subject or if I'll run out of steam by letter G. We shall see. 

I enjoy this challenge a lot, mostly because it rolls around each year right about the time my blog needs an energy drink. It requires discipline and helps me remember why I like to write.  I've met some lovely folks via the hop each year, so I'm in. Let me know if you're participating and I'll look for you there. 

Hodgepodge Questions-Volume 253

Here are the questions to this week's Wednesday Hodgepodge. Answer on your own blog, then hop back here tomorrow to share answers with all your friends and neighbors.  See you there!

1. Share a winter memory from your childhood. 

2. What was on your blog this time last year? (Besides the Hodgepodge of course!) If you weren't blogging, what in the world were you doing with all that free time?

3. Ellen Goodman is quoted as saying, 'We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives...not looking for flaws, but for potential.' 

Do you see more flaws or more potential in your life at the start of a new year? Have you done anything specific this month to address either one? Does the new year truly begin for you on January 1, or is there some other month of the year that feels like a fresh start and new beginning?

4. Who's an athlete you admire or respect and why?

5. Do you like cream in your coffee? Whipped cream on your pumpkin pie? Cream cheese on a bagel? Sour cream on a baked potato? Cream of wheat for breakfast? Have you ever had a scone with clotted cream? Of all the creamy foods mentioned, which one sounds most appealing to you right this very minute?

6. Where were you last kept waiting for 'hours on end'? Or for what felt like hours on end? How well did you cope?

7. Believe it or not, when next week's Hodgepodge rolls around it will be February. Huh?!? Bid adieu here to January in seven words or less.

8.  Insert your own random thought here.

A Stroll Down Blog Memory Lane

I woke up this morning wondering what in the world I'd blog about at the beginning of a new week given the quiet weekend with the snow and the ice and the staying in my awesome sweater pants for two solid days.

Yes, bloggers sometimes wake up wondering what in the world there is to say that hasn't already been said or that won't bore readers to tears.

As I lay there thinking it dawned on me that it was on a long ago January day I first began blogging. January 21, 2009. A Wednesday like any other except I was living in England and my girls were in college and I didn't understand what a blog was, but other than that the same as Wednesdays in 2016.

Seven years.

A lot has happened in seven years, this I know without looking at life spelled out in writing. Still, I thought today it might be fun to look back to the first month of the year in days gone by. What was on my blog in January as the calendar rolled round and round into the future?

Also, I like photographs and there are many here on From This Side of the Pond, so as a bonus I'm going to choose one favorite from every January since the first one. That won't be hard at all.

2009

England. A trip to Leeds Castle. Cleaning out my nightstand. Procrastinating. My dog. Moving house. Moving country. Goodbyes.

I had no comments on my first post and one comment on my second. It was from my girl's high school Young Life leader who had moved back to the US a couple of years prior. Always the encourager.

My third post had two comments, again one from the YL leader and one from, GASP!, a stranger. And then later more strangers, with real life friends weighing in now and then, but the strangers! 

Where do the strangers come from? How do they find my blog? Are they stalkers? Is this safe? What in the world am I doing? I had no idea strangers would read my blog, and certainly no idea they'd comment. Why would a stranger read my blog?

Writing was suddenly a thrilling kind of scary fun.

2010

fondue, transition, repatriation, what I learned blogging for one whole entire year, random dozens answered, a book giveaway, my sleep habits, my dog's sleep habits, and a look back at boating on the Chesapeake with golden haired girls who went and grew up

2011

snow, ice, more snow and more ice, NYC, NYC in the snow and ice, college-aged daughters home for the holiday, random dozens answered, the routine of mid-life, attempting zumba, a traveling husband, my back yard hawk, the Cake Boss, airport runs, taxes, transitions and goodbyes

2012

a new year, college-aged daughters home, grown up daughters working in big cities, hanging out with said grown up daughter in a big city, our nation's capital, goodbyes and transitions, NYC food, NYC energy, Hodgepodge questions asked and answered, a traveling husband, jet lag, hiking with jet lag, my pup, the Garden State, and a camping recap from an accidental winter camping trip taken with Girl Scouts more than ten years prior

2013 

a new year, Hodgepodge questions asked and answered, hanging out with a grown up daughter in a big city, both of us sicker than dogs, my sweet pup, beauty in the Garden State, the weather, snow days, snow days gone by, Maryland days gone by, the Superbowl

2014

days I'd like to do-over, homemade Christmas crafting, Hodgepodge questions asked and answered, being brave, fragments, regular crafting, five minutes of deep thoughts, everyday mid-life, and snow

2015

The wedding. That's it. The wedding. To put it another way- love, marriage, daughters growing up, DIY, friends, dreams, plans, the weather, and the best day ever.

To summarize-

Count on me discussing weather during the month of January.
Also eating, drinking, and sleeping all of which seem interesting at the time.
I miss my pup, big snows, a country not my own, and daughters asleep in their bedrooms upstairs.
The earth is full of so much beauty it sometimes makes my heart burst.
I've said a lot of goodbyes.
There is enormous satisfaction in capturing small moments and ordinary days.
I feel complete surprise at the fullness of life in a season called middle age.

On Being Present

Linking up with Five Minute Friday today. Easy peasy. Set the timer. Write. No editing, no second guessing. Just do it.

Today's prompt-present

I haven't participated in Five Minute Friday in several weeks mostly because it tends toward the deep and I've been swimming in the shallow end on my blog of late. I was scrolling through my dashboard earlier which led to the re-reading of some older posts, and I couldn't help but miss the writer I was. She's still around here somewhere, we just need to get reacquainted. I think that's where this word comes in.

As it happens I've had a post in my draft file labeled Present for some time now. The post was blank, but I'd scribbled the word down almost a month ago with every intention of someday getting back to it. And every week I'd open my dashboard, see it sitting there, and think not today.

So why then did I ever put pen to paper (or fingertips to keyboard) and spell out the word present? Here's the short version...

You know how it's kind of become a thing to have a word for the year? I've done it myself the past four years, when a particular word seemed to be everywhere I turned and felt like it had my name on it...joy, love, fearless, seek...

This year though? This year I just wasn't feeling it. I'd see people talking about their 'one word' and I'd scratch my head and say hmmm...what's going to be my word? And then nothing.

Blank space.

Empty air.

I think sometimes we force this kind of thing and I determined not to do that. Not to pluck a word out of thin air and wear it like a badge and call it mine.

We have a lot going on here at the moment, and I know if you read here you're saying 'doesn't she always???', but really, we have a lot going on here at the moment. And without over thinking it I've just let some of the online stuff go in order to be here. In the middle of my life.

Then there's the fact that recently I've become quite disillusioned with social media. Or maybe it's people I'm weary of. People spouting off and taking offense at every little thing under the sun, desperate to convince me their opinion is the right opinion. I might be late to that party, but Facebook for sure has lost some of it's appeal, both in tone and content. I started skimming more, commenting less, reading less, stepping away.

It's easier than one might think.

As I took some baby steps back it struck me that I'm often only halfway present in the present. I began mentally inventory-ing some of my habits and decided I want less multi-tasking. Less checking of the phone and more real listening. Less feeling irate and more praying. Giving less attention to the whiners and complainers in this world and filling my heart and mind with the beauty of the earth and the people I love.

Present. Really really present.

I guess that's why I left the post blank. The longer it sat the more the idea of sharing it felt almost contrary to the word itself. Contrary to why I chose it. Or did it choose me? But today I clicked on Kate Montaung's blog and Friday link up and there it was.

My word.

And I decided to write it all down because when I write I'm present in my own life. It's where I examine and resolve and remember how satisfying it is to truly be in the moment.  I want more of that this year.

Weekend Wanderings

How about a little catch up? I'm going to tell you know now that all pics were taken with my iPhone, which means they're just so-so. 

As opposed to pics taken with my real camera which are so much better. Ha! 

True confession I've gotten lazy with the picture taking. My big camera has a piece rattling around inside, and I have no clue what it is. Since it's only sometimes a problem I don't think about taking it to the experts until I'm out somewhere trying to snap a photo and the zoom jams. Tilting it this way and that is almost alway a fix.  

When it comes to technology I'm your girl. 

Beside the mechanical snafu there's also the small matter of my squad grumbling whenever I suggest we take a picture. Do you have a squad? Does everyone have a squad? Does yours grumble when you want to take a picture? fyi-I've been looking for a reason to use the word squad. Apparently it's a thing now, but I'm not sure it's working for me. 

The word squad wings me right back to sitting on a hard gymnasium floor in 7th grade rows behind a designated captain, all of us dressed in blue onesies- aka gym suits. Anyone? Worst of all they snapped! All the way up the front! 

Back to present day...last weekend hubs and I trekked back to Atlanta to attend the boat show. It's that time I guess. Boat shopping is a bit more fun than car shopping but for me a little bit goes a long way. Boat dealers really really want to SELL! you a boat! You need! a boat! Today! Best time to buy! is at the boat show! That last bit may be true, but we're not quite ready to purchase. We need water and electricity at the dock still, because this man will not own a boat he can't wash. 

He's looking quite comfy here though, isn't he?  Personally I felt like this one had his name on it (and of course so did the dealer!) but we're not there yet. Also we still need a house, but whatever. It's good to look, and for a quick minute I allowed myself to get a little bit excited about summertime on the lake. 

We spent the rest of the weekend with friends just hanging out, watching football, and loving the fact that we're all finally living in the Southland. 

In the meantime, some NJ friends who retired to Maine phoned saying they were going to be in Hilton Head for a few days, and did we want to pop over? 

Why not? 

Please disregard my crazy wind-blown beach hair and the stylish get up. It was chilly on the beach and I opted for warmth over beauty. It was the right call.

This was a quick trip, but oh so nice to see the ocean in January. The skies were sunny and blue, we went for walks on the beach, tracked a dolphin across the surf, and indulged in a delicious seafood dinner Sunday night. Plus we love catching up with friends scattered around the globe.

I'm partial to shore birds.

And swinging in the sunshine.

Pretty sure they're wondering how secure the bolts are.

I'm a firm believer in standing at the ocean's edge. In feeling small. In soaking in the wonder. No matter how brief the visit, there is something about the magnificence and untamed beauty of the sea that remind me life is lovely indeed.

Peaceful Easy Hodgepodge Feeling

Welcome to another edition of the Wednesday Hodgepodge. Please only link here today if you've answered the questions. And be sure to skate over and say hi to the blogger linking before you...we're all about being neighborly here in the middle of a week. Here we go-

1. Speaking of skating...when did you last 'skate on thin ice', 'skate over the details', 'encounter a cheapskate', or just plain skate?

Our financial planner sent us some information last week relating to all the recent turmoil in the stock market, and I might have 'skated over the details'. I like hubs to worry about that stuff-ha! I did read it, got the gist of it, but didn't get bogged down in specifics. I will if I need to, but for now I'm gonna skate. 

2.  What would you say is the biggest problem of people your age?

Staying on top of your health and finances. As you reach/enter retirement there are so many decisions to be made relating to your future which by the way, is no longer on the far off distant horizon. It's now. Also, I think I mentioned here last week that once you pass the 50-mile mark you no longer take your good health for granted. 

Or it could be that we talk too much about retirement planning and the fact that our health isn't what it used to be? You decide. 

3. What's your favorite accessory? Is it something you wear every day, often, or only on special occasions?

My wedding band because I love the sparkle and the sentiment behind it. My watch because I feel naked without it. A bracelet Daughter1 gave me for Mother's Day is also very dear to my heart and I wear all three of these every day. 

4.  January 20th is National Cheese Lover's Day Are you a lover of cheese? What's your favorite dish made with cheese? Last thing you ate that contained some kind of cheese?

Never met a cheese I didn't like. We've had some fabulous cheese trays in our recent travels, this one just last weekend-

It was every bit as yummy as it looks. We sampled a cheese I hadn't tried before-bellavitano, which was delish. My favorite dish made with cheese would probably be my mama's homemade enchiladas.  

5. What's something guaranteed to make you roll your eyes?

Walking behind someone wearing their 'pants on the ground'. Seriously, isn't it past time we retired that trend? The other day I had the misfortune of riding up an escalator behind a young man struggling mightily to keep hold of his trousers and step off the moving staircase. I do not understand the appeal or the message of this 'fashion statement'.  Not even a little bit. 

6. Your favorite book series?

The Anne books...Anne of Green Gables, Anne of Avonlea, Anne of the Island...

7. Why did you choose your profession?

I always knew I'd work with children in some form or fashion, and started college as a nursing major. I suffered through many torturous hours of organic chem, only to change my major to speech pathology at the end of my freshman year. I don't remember exactly how I got there, but I think an advisor pointed me in that direction. It was a great fit for me and I enjoyed working in the field for several years. 

Motherhood has always been my passion though. 

8. Insert your own random thought here. 

Hubs and I were away for the weekend, then extended our travels for another couple of days, so getting the HP questions written and posted was a little challenging for me this week. There's a lot going on here in real life at the moment, and I'm giving myself permission to keep the questions light or to take a break now and then. I have a lot of blogging to catch up on, but am spending very little time on the computer so a conundrum.

I don't blog from my phone or ancient iPad which means I need to be at home if I want to write anything of substance. Life will happen and I am trying to roll with it.

In other news, I was so sad to hear Glenn Frey passed away. The Eagles are the soundtrack of my youth and I love their music still. A reminder yet again that life is short. Too short to spend hours on the Internet. Love your people and catch us up when you can.