What To Expect When You're Expecting (not that kind)

The kind of expecting where you're looking forward to something happening and then it does, but not in the way you expected. 

I spent this past weekend with daughter2, mostly holding baby girl who we've decided going forward will be known here as 'Sugar'.  She's so sweet y'all. 

Anyway, I spent almost all of my time with this little miss in my arms so daughter2 could hold her brother. He was feeling puny, wanting momma and only momma. You kind of forget what it's like to have sick kids in the house until you have sick kids in the house. 

Was this our weekend plan? 

No it was not. The original weekend plan was for both my girls to be in Tennessee with their littles while all of our hubs had their own obligations to tend to. I'd been looking forward to this for weeks because it's been a long while since it was just us girls (plus their 5 small children, but whatever). This was going to be both girls and me in the same place at the same time, no boys allowed. 

Except for the 6 and under set of course. 

Anyway, we girls were going to have some fun, take a picnic to the park, laugh a lot at all the cousins playing together in their matching cousin t-shirts, share deep thoughts and skin care products, and gab late into the night (well, later than 8:30 which is our usual bedtime when kids are in the house) for three complete whole entire days. 

Didn't happen. 

I did drive to daughter2's on Thursday, and daughter1 did plan to arrive with her crew on Saturday. 

There's that word again-plan. 

Things started off nicely. Friday morning daughter2 needed to visit the jeweler so we loaded up the baby and big brother and off we went. While my daughter was in the shop chatting about an order I was outside with the mister watching a large construction crew operate all the big equipment just across the highway. There were cranes and bulldozers, dump trucks filling and dumping, and best of all a 'digger', all making a lot of noise and moving a lot of dirt and rock. Little man was in heaven. When he waved at the digger operator the driver lifted the bucket up and down in the form of a wave back and it was the best.

We had lunch before heading home for naps, but by the time we got to the house it was apparent sweet baby J was running a fever. Bother. We finally had to tell daughter1 not to come because we certainly didn't need to share those germs with her family, and that was that. Plan blown. Expectation unmet. 

What can you do? 

Nothing really. Life happens and we have to adjust and move forward even when what we really want to do is stomp our feet and rail at the universe a little bit. 

We don't though. We adjust and move forward. We choose to find the silver lining...the bright side...the blue sky if you will. Maybe not in the first five minutes but we do get there. We pull on our 'let's make the best of it britches' and then we do just that. 

There are hours and hours of snuggles with a lapful of Sugar. 

There is the same book read no less than fifteen times because sweet baby J is not his usual oh so happy self and when Nana reads '....sometimes you're happy, sometimes you're sad'...and makes a great big sad face, he laughs. Somehow my sad face makes him happy and it's pure gold.  

There is sunshine. Glorious sunshine. We load everyone up in the strollers and feel the sun hit our faces and Vitamin D flood our veins and we can say with complete honesty that there is beauty in this day, this weekend, in spite of cancelled plans and unmet expectation. 

After babies are tucked in tight me and my girl (just one not two, but we're making the best of it remember?) sit on the couch and watch Next Level Chef. We discuss in great detail the choices these contestants make because we both love to cook, but we talk about many, many other things too.  

And suddenly, somehow, I feel grateful, not for cancelled plans, but for being right where I need to be. Lending a hand (or a lap), and having a front row seat to watch my baby girl mother her very own babies. What a gift. 

There is grace for the day y'all. 
For the ones that go swimmingly and the ones that fall to pieces too. 

Hodgepodge Questions-Volume 518

The Hodgepodge is back and here are this week's questions. Answer on your own blog, then hop back here tomorrow to share answers with the rest of the world wide webbers. See you there! 

1. It's National Read A Book Day...whatcha' reading? What's a book you want to read? 

2. Which is better...having high expectations or low expectations? Explain why. 

3. Serenity is________________________. 

4. What's  the most interesting thing in your purse or pocket right now? 

5. What helps you calm down? 

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

Joy To The World

In the past 60 days we've been out of town 30 nights, had people overnight in our own home another 6 nights, I've broken my elbow, hosted two dinner parties separate from the aforementioned company, done the usual grocery shop-bill pay-laundry-haircut-volunteering things on my weekly to-do lists, and all of that to say...we've been busy.  

We are in serious need of a recharge before the holiday crew rolls in, which if you're counting happens in something like 25 days. We have five holiday related events in the next two weeks which will be loads of festive fun, but also, where's my nap gonna go???

The thing about this season of the year is there is always something you could be doing and maybe even should be doing, but I'm including times of rest and quiet on my to-do list too. If I don't, by the time my family arrives I'll be like Bumble the Abominable Snowman before his tooth was pulled. 

Less is more, right? Except stuff needs to get done and somebody's gotta do it. 

There's shopping, wrapping, mailing, addressing, meal planning, meal shopping, meal cooking, baking, cleaning, decorating, and whew! December can exhaust and overwhelm and most especially it can distract from the baby in the manger. From the simplicity and the beauty and the peace that is ours if we don't allow ourselves to be derailed by the modern world, social media, and some unwritten expectation that things need to look a certain way. 

Talking to myself here but perhaps you feel it too? 

Hey, remember Thanksgiving? Remember how for the entire month of November everyone was focused on their many blessings instead of their many to-dos? Let's keep calm and carry on this way, k? 

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with Daughter2, her hubs, her darling little boy, and my mother-in-law. Daughter2 trekked over to pick up her grandmother earlier in the week and then we took her back home when we left on Friday. 

Four generations right there which is so, so special. 

It was a relaxing couple of days. My son-in-law smoked the turkey and we had all the usual sides. I was in charge of the sweet potatoes which I forgot to bring from my house to hers so had to run up to the store soon after we arrived. 

Told you I need a nap. 

Little guy had his first taste of 'real food'-cereal, and he was all in. He loved it once he realized what was happening, and watching a baby take their first taste of anything is a day brightener for sure. 

We left Daughter2's house Friday morning to take my mother-in-law home, with a stop at Benton's ennroute. Have you heard of Benton's? They have a great story, but basically it's the best, smokiest bacon, ham, and country ham you'll ever eat and you should get some. They ship but it's also served in many higher end restaurants around the country. 

Actually Mr. Benton came out and chatted with us because it's that sort of business and he's that sort of man. We bought some bacon to take home and we ordered a holiday ham for Christmas which hubs will pick up in a couple of weeks. Mr. Benton himself told me how to cook it and I'll be following his instructions for sure. If you want to read a little of his story check out the article he was featured in a while back for Garden and Gun magazine (On The Iberico Trail) 

We spent Friday night at hub's brother's house, enjoyed their leftovers, watched football and basketball, then got on the road to head home Saturday morning. We were hoping to avoid the nightmare holiday traffic that was sure to happen Sunday and we mostly did. Traffic was light and we stopped for a lunch break at Sierra Nevada because they have a great patio and we had the pup with us. He was a model guest. 

We got home late afternoon, unpacked, and then I left hubs with the leftovers we'd brought home while I soaked in the tub for an hour. In my opinion, a long hot bath is almost as restorative as a nap. 

And now we're here. The first Sunday in Advent. 

While it may feel like we've been talking about Christmas for weeks now, today is where it begins for me.  Advent is the season where I make a conscious effort to quiet my heart and my brain and my need to do-do-do, and listen instead as heaven and nature sings. 

May we all make room. 

Five Minutes of Expect

As per usual here of late I missed the boat on Five Minute Friday so am going with Five Minute Sunday instead. That's not really a thing, but I'm making it a thing. Go here to read what others had to say this week, and no it's definitely not too late to add an entry of your own. Here we go-

Today's prompt-expect

I like this word. I might just be the queen of expectation. I like a plan. I like to know what's on tap for today, next week, this summer, the retirement years-ha! As a mother and a teacher I was intentional in setting clear expectations for my daughters (and my students), because I think children typically do better if they know what's expected.

I guess I'm like a kid that way.

I like knowing what's next. I like making lists and checking them off. I can live quite comfortably with a full calendar and a busy schedule, with people coming and going and all sorts of travel and crazy, if I know to expect full-busy-and a-little-bit-crazy.

Recently we've had to make some significant changes to our summer calendar and plans due to unexpected family illness. We've preemptively canceled some of what we were expecting to happen in order to be present in what is actually happening. We need blank space in our lives right now that will allow us to come and go as needed, to rest and recharge, and to tend to whatever needs tending.

We're told to live one day at a time, but do we really do that? Don't we more often attempt to outrun unwanted change, avoid difficult circumstances, plan and plot so there are no interruptions or detours in the way we think life should go? How we expect it to go? Raising my hand here.

There's an old Yiddish proverb that says something like 'Man makes plans and God laughs', and while I don't think that's true, I do get the point. Perhaps a better way of saying it would be 'Man makes plans and God makes different and better plans because He knows us down to the very fiber of our being.' 

Our pastor in his message this morning (don't you love when that happens?!) reminded us that nothing is unexpected in God's eyes. Nothing surprises Him. He knows what was, and is, and is to come, and He is sovereign over every last bit of it.

I've set some new expectations for the next couple of weeks and they look something like this-

Trust Him. 
Take one day at a time.

I'm thinking it's a pretty good plan.