The Twelve Days of Christmas Kindness

In the days and even the months leading up to the election it seemed the dialogue in our country took a turn for the mean.  The divide was (and still is) palpable and people were outspoken and cross. It made me weary.

I decided during the month of December to look for ways to be kind 'on purpose'.  I added a button to my blog for anyone who wanted to do the same and thus, The 12 Days of Christmas Kindness was born.  12 Acts of Kindness in the 25 days leading up to Christmas.

I said at the time that I'd post my thoughts when the challenge was nearing an end and today's the day.  I don't know if anyone has a post they'd like to share but I'll add a link to make it easy if you do.

I would like to think kindness comes naturally to us humans, but here's what I've observed in recent weeks~

People are busy, harried, distracted, tired, hurting, broke, and anxious about a multitude of things. All of that keeps us from being kind when, I think deep inside, we really do want to be. I can't tell you how many times during the month I thought of that verse in Romans where Paul says, "For I do not understand my own actions.  For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." (Rom. 7:15)

We know when two of us are approaching the door to the post office at almost the same time we should allow that other person to enter first.  Instead we avoid eye contact and quicken our pace because, by golly, we've got stuff to do, and this guy looks like he's not prepared and will ask a million questions and, whyyyy does that clerk move so slowly when the place is jam packed???  We have a little conversation with ourselves in situations such as these, and more often than not, self rears its ugly head...we think  my list, my stuff, my life.

There's a lot I want to take away from this month, but I'll keep it brief and share just three things-

1.  Kindness, like almost everything else we feel, is a choice. We can be kind and patient with the people we encounter throughout the day, or we can let them get under our skin. One thing that really helped me was to think about the other person's story. People have stories that we just can't know in a casual encounter in the supermarket line. There are also people in this world who are nasty for no good reason, but still, I guess that's their story, and probably if we dug deep there would indeed be a reason for why they are the way they are. Regardless,  I have a choice and I decided that my small act of kindness was not going to be dependent on whether or not I thought someone deserved it.  In fact, the people who rile me up, frustrate me, and try my patience are often the very ones in desperate need of a little kindness in their world.

2.  While opportunities spontaneously present themselves in the course of a day, a little planning doesn't hurt either.  At the beginning of the month I thought about some tangible things I could do, and I had a lot of fun doing them. I enjoy baking so I went to town making peppermint popcorn for the clerks in the post office and dry cleaners, home-baked goodies for hubs office and also for the girl who cuts my hair and for hubs barber too, and caramel corn bagged up with a tip for the guys who collect our trash and the lady who delivers our mail.

Besides the edible stuff, I've dropped money in every Salvation Army tin I've come across, wrote two overdue personal notes to folks I wanted to thank for something intangible, and we outrageously over tipped our server one Saturday morning along with a parking valet at a party we attended earlier this month.  We're going in to the city while the girls are home and will take a couple of nice coats we no longer wear to give to someone sitting on the cold New York sidewalk.

I looked for opportunities to be kinder as I went about my day and they were everywhere. For starters, I greeted the people I passed. I made it a point to ask clerks and servers how their day was going, and you know what?  People want to talk and they want someone to listen.  I held doors and packages, let cars out in traffic at difficult intersections, and let the anxious looking businessman, fidgeting in line behind me at the market step in front of me.

Sometimes kindness means letting the little things go. Our supermarket has about six self check out registers all in a row, three down one side and three down the other. They don't have a clearly designated queue but people more or less form one line and go to the first available register. As I stood waiting my turn (next in line) a woman marched right up and went ahead of me. She saw me. She acted like she assumed there were two queues, one for the left side and one for the right side, but she knew better.  So did I, but I let it go.  A small thing I know, but sometimes those small things accumulate during the day and ruin not only our mood, but also our sense of good will with which our day began.

3.  Lastly, I want to be more present when I go about my daily errands and life. One thing I especially noticed is that everyone is on their phone everywhere you go. Nobody is actually completely present in the place they are standing.  The sales clerk is asking for a credit card, but the  customer isn't paying attention so the whole check-out process takes 5x longer than it should. The guy in front of me entering the shop lets the door drop in my face because he's engrossed in conversation with someone miles away. We're not noticing that person who needs a hand or a smile or a dollar because we're all doing something other than the one task we need to accomplish in the place we're in.

I don't want to be that person in 2013.

I'm sharing some of what I did, not to be congratulated, but rather as a way to remember how doing something so very small made me feel.  I want to remember a smile given returned with a smile back.  I want to remember the sight of someone's tense shoulders relaxing at the offer of a helping hand in whatever form that needs to be.  I want to remember the little stories people shared with me, sparked by home made food and treats and the simple question, 'How are you doing today?"

This world is harsh. If there's anything we've been witness to this month it's that people want to be noticed. Acknowledged. Validated. Supported. Encouraged.  In this new year I want to not be so caught up in my own story that I miss yours.

So how about we change the name?
Let's make this The Twelve Months of Christmas Kindness.

"Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness.  Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."  Scott Adams

Here we go a Pinteresting

Good Monday morning!  I spent last week hopping from one event to the next, or maybe I should say one meal to the next, so blogging fell by the wayside.  Real life before online life, right?  Eat dessert before you write about dessert-ha! Lots of fun and too many treats, but I'm pretty sure that's the way December is meant to be. December is the month of indulgence and January is the month of no pain, no gain, but we won't think about that today.

Here's a glimpse of some of last week's fun and deliciousness starting with these cookies-

They're candy cane snowballs (recipe here) and they are yummy! I'm normally not a huge mint lover but these are not overpowering and the cookie itself is delicious. The candy cane pieces get a little melty gooey and who doesn't like that?  Plus, they are so pretty and I like a variety of colors and flavors on my cookie tray.  I took these to a party at a friend's house where we had a fun gift exchange. I ended up with a set of four Christmas wine glasses which hubs and I broke in over the weekend.

Next...this candy cane popcorn-

I know I just said mint isn't my favorite flavor, but this popcorn is so good. It's coated in melted white chocolate mixed with crushed candy canes and is the perfect combination of sweet and salty deliciousness that no one can resist. You'll find the recipe here.

I bagged it up in pretty cello packages and gave it away as part of my 12 Days of Christmas Kindness.  I made bags for my neighbors and handed them out at a neighborhood dinner last Thursday, and I also took bags into my dry cleaners because they're always so nice and go out of their way to accommodate us when we need something done yesterday.  I also took bags into the post office because I gotta tell ya, our clerks are a tad on the cranky side and I thought this would bring a smile.  It did.  

Next, this little sweet treat I sent to my nephew-

It's a way to share the Christmas story using chocolate, which just so happens to be his love language. You'll find the poem here.  

Last Friday our Gourmet Group met for a holiday gathering and our theme was holiday appetizers and desserts.  We're assigned recipes and mine was Spiced Coffee.  It was scrumptious and I will definitely serve this again.  It's so simple-brew a pot of coffee (8 cups) and then put it in your crockpot.  

Add 1/3 cup of sugar, 1/4 cup of chocolate syrup, and 1/2 tsp anise extract.  Tie up four cinnamon sticks and 1 1/2 tsp cloves in some cheesecloth and add it to the pot.  Let simmer on low for 2-3 hours.  I doubled the recipe without any trouble.  

 One of the desserts at Gourmet was this elegantly simple and delicious treat-

All you do is press an almond into a dried apricot and then dip one end into melted white and dark chocolate.  Easy peasy. Would mine look this perfect? Hmmm...doubtful, but I'm gonna try. Our Gourmet Group also had a fun gift exchange. Everyone brought a gently used kitchen item wrapped and I ended up with a Paula Deen cookbook so I was happy.

On Saturday I finally sat down and put together a craft I'd been wanting to try.  We get a lot of photo cards and I wanted to display them somehow. My card holder stacks the cards so you really don't get to enjoy the photos as much as you'd like.  I'd seen this Christmas card garland on Pinterest and it seemed simple enough even for me-Miss Not Crafty.

This is the finished product-

I'm also Miss Not a Photographer.  In my defense it was dark when I took the picture so I'll snap another once I get it hung.  I think it turned out so cute!

I covered a whole package of clothespins with the scrapbook paper, but obviously I won't display this many cards on the ribbon.  They'd be too jammed and defeat the purpose of being able to see the photos, but this way I have extras if any break.  You'll find the instructions for the Christmas card garland here.

Finally, on Sunday afternoon I dipped the buttercreams.  These are tradition in our house and it is not officially Christmas until this tedious  job is done. I was really missing Daughter2 yesterday since she is my official dipper and doesn't run out of patience before the job is done.  Patience is key, and if you rush the job you end up with sloppy tops.

I may have one or two sloppy tops.
Santa won't care...he loves buttercreams.

Ho-Ho-Ho-dgepodge Questions Vol 104

Tuesday's here again. The weeks are funny like that. I know some of you are thinking you're too busy for fun and games in December, but I disagree. I think everyone needs a break from their wrapping and their buying and their baking and their fretting this time of year. Grab a cuppa or some eggnog and enjoy this week's questions.  Don't be so quick to get back to your to-dos that you forget to add your link here tomorrow!

One more thing... if you're interested in participating in The Twelve Days of Christmas Kindness happening here this month you'll find details in this post. Be sure to grab the super cute button from my sidebar Daughter1 made just for us. She's nice like that.

Okay-here ya go...

1.  Share your traditions surrounding the Christmas stocking.

2.  How many hours of sleep do you average at night?  Is it enough?

3.  If you had to give up one thing for the remainder of this year what would it be?

4.  The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (or Wills and Kate as I like to call them) have announced they're expecting a baby. Do you follow news of the Royals?

5.  For me,  the sound of childhood is__________________.

6.  Fruit cake-yay or boo? What's your favorite dessert made with fruit?

7. What is one thing you want to accomplish before 2012 comes to an end?

8.  Insert your own random thought here.

Froehliche Weinachten

 Weekends in December are extra full, or at least ours seem to be.

We spent Saturday and Sunday tweaking our holiday decor and by that I mean hubs hung garland across the railings and down the stairs, and wondered aloud why in the world we don't own the pre-lit variety?  I untangled the mass of cords that is my Snow Village, and seriously, that job made me sweat. It's a bit of a challenge to hang on to your Christmas spirit when dealing with light strands and extension cords in hard to reach places.

I still need to add some bits and pieces, like the trees and the skaters and such, but I got the basic houses up,  and that was enough for one weekend. Our main tree is still waiting for its topper, a job I just couldn't face after wrestling with cords for an hour, so that's on my list for one day this week. We always do our Christmas decorating in phases. Mr. and Mrs. Claus are happier that way.

I do love having a Christmas tree in the house. One of my favorite things to do in December is to get up early,  and while it's still dark outside sit in front of the lit Christmas tree. There is something about the quiet soft glow of the tree that begs for sitting still, thinking deeply, and praying earnestly.

Friday night hubs and I popped into town to see the annual Christmas Tree Lighting. Conveniently there is a ginormous evergreen just beside the the lake and every year Santa drops by to do the honors.  Here's a shot of the tree in daylight....

and all lit up for Christmas...

My nighttime photography skills are unrivaled, don't you think?

Our little town holds their own version of a German Christmas Market every December and its lots of fun.

Hubs and I spent a couple of hours there on Saturday browsing the vendor stalls, sipping traditional Gluhwien, and eating brats topped with sauerkraut for a lakeside lunch.  I took this picture of the Stroopwafels for my Daughter1-they're her favorite-

And this one for Daughter2 because fudge is her love language. 

So are German Christmas Markets.
She and I have seen more than a few.
Sigh.  

I love the sign by these decadent dipped apples.

Oh, and guess what?
Santa was there.

Pretty sure this was not a copycat.  Look at that face!

Afterwards we went to see the movie Lincoln.  We both really liked it and Daniel Day Lewis is completely believable in the title role.

Sunday afternoon we were invited to a fundraiser that hubs former boss and her family host every year. Monies raised benefit a food pantry on Long Island and this year the need is greater than ever.  The pantry is run thru a Catholic church there and the priest spoke to the party-goers describing the very difficult circumstances they face in Sandy's aftermath.  Many in their area are still without heat and power, and a large number of people are also without jobs.  The recovery is slow going and some of those jobs will be permanently lost.  He closed by saying that in the middle of something horrible he has witnessed so much good.  Help has come from ordinary people and nothing is too small not to be appreciated.

Our friends go all out when they host this party.  They invite several hundred people, have inflatables for the kids, a petting zoo, and oh yeah, guess who else was there?

I know.
I spoke to him and he is definitely not a copycat.   Look at that face!

Okay, my to-do list is as long as my arm so I need to get busy.  Just a reminder that I'm hosting a little 'thing' here during the month of December.  My daughter1 made the cutest little button ever,  which you'll find on my sidebar.  If you're participating in  The 12 Days of Christmas Kindness you'll want to add this cuteness to your sidebar too...just copy and paste the link you see under the button.  If you have no idea what I'm talking about go here for details.

Happy Monday!

I Have an Idea

And since it's Friday I also have some Fragments, but first- my idea.  

The world, including and maybe especially the grand ole USA, feels like not a very nice place lately, don't you think?  So much anger and sorrow.  So much impatience and hate.  People weighed down, not just by their circumstances, but by the vague notion that we've lost the ability to treat one another with kindness.  In our part of the country so many have lost so much and in all parts of this world there are people whose hope in the goodness of humankind is chipped away a little bit more everyday.  

But...Christmas is coming!  So many people sigh when they read that, but let's not think about our undone to-dos for a minute.  Let's instead think about the fact that Christmas is coming!  The gift of Christmas is hope.  Not in a government, or an agency, or a family member, or an insurance company.  It's hope in a baby who is The Light of the World and that hope is offered to every single person on this planet we call home.  That's the thought I want to carry into the new year.   

I want to be nice this December. I actually want to be nice year round, but I've decided to do something deliberate this month and you're invited to join me. I'm going to host something we'll call  The Twelve Days of Christmas Kindness this month.  I want to invite and challenge you to perform twelve acts of deliberate kindness during the month of December.  While I'd like to think I show kindness everyday I want to make a point of looking for ways to brighten someone's day...hour...minute. Twelve acts of kindness in 25 days. That doesn't sound so hard, does it?  

I'll have my daughter make a button you can add to your blog, hopefully on Monday (Daughter1???) if you decide to participate. Beginning Thursday, December 20th there will also be a linky list posted here on This Side of the Pond.  You're invited on that day (and all the way up til Christmas) to link a blog post sharing your thoughts on your own Twelve Days of Christmas Kindness.  

So who's in?

In other news I have a few fragments to share. I'm pretty sure fragments are blogese for camera dump which is kind of what I have today.  Miscellaneous pictures from the past week that I need to show someone.  You're that lucky someone.  

Remember my girls were home for four and 3/4 whole entire days?  Here's daughter2 going for a spin in the little red car.  Here's hubs asking me why it still takes so long for me to snap a photo?  I fear I lack the photography gene.  

It was warm-ish on Thanksgiving Day, warm for November anyway, but when you're in the little car with the top down you need a ski band round your ears and a blanket across your lap and the sunshine on your face.  So fun!

Remember our landscaping project?  The one we were frantically wrapping up even while the hurricane winds were gaining speed with New Jersey in her sights? Well it's done. Miraculously every new little bit of ground cover and every barely in the ground evergreen stayed put. 

Getting those evergreens up and onto that deceptively steep hillside took the entire team plus one bulldozer operator.  I bought them donuts.  They deserved it.  

We are so happy with the end result. Essentially there is a hill that runs along one side of our driveway and we had plants removed, trees trimmed, ground cover added, pine trees planted on the steepest part of the curve, a ginormous and beautiful boulder de-dirted, cleaned, and power washed.  Yes they power washed our rock. Thanksgiving day was just gorgeous and the girls hung out on that rock. 

 Ha-Daughter1 looks like she is not entirely believing whatever Daughter2 is saying. 

They told me I could sunbathe here in the summertime which I'm certain the neighbors would love.  Right. Maybe if I looked like these two little miniature people?  

One of my favorite parts of the project is our new pillars. They went from this-

to this-

Well, there are lights on top but I took this picture before the electrician had come. He was delayed by someone named Sandy.  

Hubs added the lovely reflectors last weekend and you may be asking yourself why. If you live where it snows a lot you don't have to wonder. At some point this winter it is quite likely you will not be able to see the pillars because they'll be buried under feet of snow. The reflectors help the snow plow operator know where to plow and where not to ding brand new pillars with his machine.  ahem.  

Hubs got those reflectors in just in time because on Tuesday our new landscaping looked like this-  

It was a beautiful snowfall, the big fluffy flake kind.

 

A bright blue sky makes me ridiculously happy.

It was also good hubs got the outside lights up over the bright, sunny, warm-ish Thanksgiving weekend.  It meant that on Tuesday this little pine tree by the front porch could look like an actual Christmas tree.

We did get our trees up inside too. Sorta kinda. They need zhuzzing and one needs a topper, but they're mostly done.  I'll leave you (finally!) with this picture of my two favorite girls-

I love everything about this photo.  They're holding up the ornaments they each made in kindergarten, one in 1993 and one in 1995.  

Sigh. 

I loved those little 5-year old faces.

Love their 20-something selves too.  

To read more Friday Fragments go here.