Boot Scootin' Boot-y and the 4th of July

Good morning friends. Before diving in to the holiday recap here, it feels wrong not to mention the devastation and heartbreak that hit Texas over the weekend. I grew up going to a Christian camp on Maryland's eastern shore every summer, and I worked at the camp as a college student. The experiences I had there as both a camper and counselor helped shape me in to the person I am today, and it holds a very special and tender place in my heart. 

The pictures out of the Guadalupe flood and the young campers especially, are hard to see...the stories so very hard to hear. I pray the God who knows our every ache brings peace and comfort to the many families struggling to cope with the weight of their grief and loss.  

We celebrated America's birthday this weekend, and it was the absolute nicest 4th I can remember in terms of weather. 

Let's recap...

Daughter2 and her littles were here all last week and the cousins had so much fun hanging out together, both in the lake and in the neighborhood pool. 

My daughter has this darling outdoor mud kitchen which Sweet Baby J could not wait to play in. 

She had us all come for dinner Wednesday night and made a scrumptious dessert with the blueberries we'd picked the week before. I'll definitely be making this myself all summer long. 

Nana and Pawpaw are tired. Carry on. 

Daughter2 and her crew left around lunchtime Thursday to get back to their own home, and to her hubs who'd been traveling for work all week. Hubs and I got busy putting away some of the kid stuff-high chair, portable crib, toy box, etc, and then he ran the vacuum and I cleaned bathrooms. 

About four hours after they pulled out of the driveway hubs brother and sister-in-law rolled in from Tennessee. They brought fabulous steaks for us to grill that evening and I made baked potatoes and a Caprese salad to go with. 

After dinner we sat on the upstairs deck and caught up. I'm in a boot which is super annoying and I try hard not to go up and down the stairs unless it's absolutely necessary. I knew on Friday there would be more up and down than would be good for me so I tried to balance that with no up and down on Thursday. 

Friday was America's birthday and she dawned bright and beautiful. I'd made a quiche to have for breakfast and hubs grilled the rest of the Benton's bacon my sister-in-law had brought to have as a bloody mary garnish. Hubs is the master when it comes to handcrafting a bloody mary. 

Traffic on the lake is higher than normal on the 4th, so we took a morning cruise to get out before the rush. We came home and floated and then I made a charcuterie for us to snack on between breakfast and dinner. It's no simple thing to get me to the dock. I wear the boot down the walkway, take the boot off just before the dock, hubs helps me down the dock steps into the water, and then I just hang on the float, suspended, without moving my feet. 

Then someone helps me out, I dry off, reboot and hubs helps me walk back up to the house on the cart path. 

I'm a lot right now and I know it. 

Daughter1, her hubs, and their three littles arrived mid-afternoon and spent a few hours in the water having a grand time. We have a big lily pad they like to jump off of, and hubs and his brother and sister-in-law make it shake (we call it an earthquake) and they fall and laugh and love it.  I watched because I want to get out of this boot sooner rather than later. 

Hubs grilled wings and brats for our July 4th feast. 

I made baked beans and cole slaw, and daughter1 brought a pasta salad and dessert, this patriotic and delicious trifle-

We ate outside and then pulled out the corn hole and relaxed on the patio for a while. Daughter1's in-law's popped by to say hello, then we were joined by friends who also had their grandkids visiting. We're the primo spot for viewing the fireworks, and another friend brought a boatload of his family over to tie up to our dock and watch too. 

The grands had some pre-game fun with sparklers we'd purchased before we all settled in to watch the absolutely fantastic show my neighbor puts on every year. 

It's a solid thirty minutes of fireworks and just when you think it's over a few more go off. I think this was the best we've seen in the eight summers we've been here. 

Little Miss slept through the entire show on her momma's lap lol. 

I didn't go all the way to the dock to watch because of my ankle, but instead planted myself in a chair at the fire pit  and the view was top notch there too. 

Saturday morning was super relaxed with coffee sipped leisurely on the deck. We had a light breakfast then took the boat out to see what we could see. We came home and floated before showering and making our way to daughter1's house for a tour. This was her aunt and uncle's first time seeing the new house, plus they brought gifts for the kiddos which were thoroughly enjoyed. Little Miss may have worn her tiara to church Sunday morning. 

Saturday evening hubs and his brother grilled the most delicious pork chops ever. They'd purchased them in Tennessee from a place called Simpson's Meats, bone-in and about 2 1/2  inches thick. So so good. I made a big salad and that was plenty. 

After dinner we went out for a sunset cruise. It was a beautiful evening and I love a sunset cruise. 

Where I go the boot goes. 

Sunday morning we all went to church together. So special having an entire pew full of family. We went to our usual and favorite breakfast spot right after, and then my brother-in-law and sister-in-law got on the road home. I planted myself and my bum ankle on the couch to watch movies with the hubs. 

And that's the weekend that was. Happy birthday America and have a great week everyone. 

Linking with Holly and Sarah today for their every Monday morning weekend recap blog hop. Come on over!

Some Things On A Monday

Hello. Just a few bits of this and that on a Monday morning  afternoon. 

First things first...there won't be a Hodgepodge this week. I apologize for the late notice but it can't be helped. The Hodgepodge will be back next week (September!! 6th). 

We never know what a day will bring but I take comfort in knowing the One who does. 

My brother-in-law passed away, somewhat unexpectedly this past week and my whole family will be coming to town in a few days. My mom, siblings, my own girls ,and my grands will all make their way here to celebrate his life, share funny stories, and support my sister and niece especially. None of my family (except my sister who lives nearby) have met the two newest littles, and I know their sweet faces will bring a bit of cheer in the midst of all the sadness. 

Hubs and I were supposed to be traveling this week so we spent the weekend cancelling hotel, rental car, the kennel and, always a delight, the flights. It only took two days, three phone calls, and four agents to make it happen, but everyone was very nice and eventually we did manage to get those flights cancelled. 

Yesterday we were sitting on the dock waiting on a crazy, sudden, and might I add unpredicted storm to pass, when an enormous gust of wind swept through. Hubs stood up to grab something that was blowing away and when he did his chair literally blew off the dock and into the boat lift. The storm came out of nowhere and it was a doozy. In my efforts to be helpful I jumped up to grab hubs chair and my own chair tipped over. Unfortunately my phone was sitting on the arm of said chair and it was only after a few minutes we realized it had gone into the drink. 

The lake, but the weather was ka-razy so drink sounds more like the right word. 

We could have a diver come and try for retrieval, but this is not my first rodeo in terms of a phone taking the plunge, ahem, so we opted to just get new. 

And that's how I spent my Monday morning. 

What about you? 

Hands Free Hodgepodge

Welcome to the Wednesday Hodgepodge! If you've answered this week's questions add your link at the end of my post, then leave a comment for the blogger linking before you. The button is still a work in progress, so don't worry about adding that today. We'll figure it out eventually.

And by we I mean my Daughter because we all know that sort of thing exceeds my tech capabilities.

Okay, here we go-

1. When and where were the best fireworks you've ever seen? Speaking of fireworks...do you know your hot buttons? The things people can say and do to set you off? When was the last time someone pushed one of your hot buttons?

All fireworks are the best, aren't they? Probably the best best would be those we saw our second Independence Day as husband and wife. We met friends in D.C. and the fireworks at the end of the evening were spectacular. 

As far as that other sort of firework, well of course I know my hot buttons. I don't have many, but you don't live five+ decades without knowing what makes your blood boil. I detest conflict and try to avoid situations I think might set me off because I hate feeling angry.

Last time one was pushed it was probably a minor disagreement with hubs, because we're married and I can't avoid him. teehee. 

2. Have you hosted any outdoor summer parties this year? Attended any? What makes for a great outdoor party?

Everyday's a party here. Ha! Not really, but kinda. It's summertime on the lake so we're living outside and people are always coming and going. I don't think you need a lot in terms of making an outdoor party great...nice weather of course, citronella candles to keep the bugs at bay, casual dining under the stars, and music in the air works for me. 

3. What does freedom mean to you?

Freedom to me means choice. We're so fortunate to live in a country that, while governed by law, still grants us a tremendous amount of freedom. We can speak, worship, gather, vote and more as we choose. I also feel like with every conversation we have about freedom we need another about responsibility. While we're free for the most part to make our own choices, we are not free from the consequences of those choices. 

4. July is National Cell Phone Courtesy month...what annoys you most about people's cell phone habits?

My biggest pet peeve is a cell phone at the dinner table, either at home or in a restaurant. Unless you're performing heart transplants or something similar there's nothing that can't wait until after a meal. 

5. What's your current summer anthem?

Not so much an anthem, but definitely a song I am loving and have on repeat quite a lot. It's upbeat and there's something about the picture it paints in my head that makes me think of summertime and the boy I married. Hey hubs...''...make me your country bride, you'll be my prince of tides...'  



6. Insert your own random thought here.

 In less than a month we welcome our first grandchild, a baby boy we will love and adore. We'll celebrate his birth and all the days after as our family grows and changes to welcome a new little life. 

My father-in-law passed away this week. He and my mother-in-law were married more than 60 years and their lives have been a wonderful example of persevering through all the joys and trials life brings. Together they raised four children and from Day1 embraced all the in-law children as their own.  

My father-in-law was a wonderful grandfather who thought my girls hung the moon and told them so every chance he got. This week we'll celebrate his life and remember all the days that came before as our family grieves the loss of one who loved us well and was so well- loved in return. 

 "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven." ECC 3: 1

Five Minutes of More

It's Friday which means time to join others over at Kate Motaung's blog for the Five Minute Friday
link-up. This is where we write for five solid minutes on a one-word prompt, no editing, no over-thinking.  

Sounds simple, right? Why not give it a try?

Today's prompt-more

When my girls were young one of their favorite books to hear read aloud was one entitled More More More Said The Baby: Three love Stories by Vera Williams. It's sweet and simple and my girls and I can still recite it from memory. I gave the book to my niece when she was a tiny tot as a gift from her cousins, and I wrote a little message from my daughters inside the front cover. Her mama read it to her from time to time, snuggled up close as mamas and babies do when reading bedtime books and saying bedtime prayers.

At my daughter's baby shower last month my sister-in-law wrapped up that baby book More More More, and gave it back to my girl. A treasured keepsake to read to her new baby boy due this summer.  A happy event. Joyful. Too wonderful for words, yet tears ran down my daughter's cheek and a lump grew large in my throat.

In just over a week our family will mark the five year anniversary of my funny, beautiful, brave niece's death.

Writing that sentence feels cruel, like I've dropped something harsh and unexpected into what readers thought was going to be a gentle and precious memory shared. There is never any way to say it without saying it.

She was seventeen years old and we wanted more.

More days, more years, more life.

More Christmases in the mountains, more birthdays, more time.

What we got instead were more tears, more heartache, more pain than we ever thought possible.

When a child dies you're not the same. Our family is not the same. But God...

I think God in His infinite wisdom and mercy designed time as a healer of sorts, even when you wish it weren't so. It's through the passing of time He allows us to look back at our lives and see in hindsight what we couldn't know in the middle of a grief that raged.

To look at the rubble and find a diamond there.

Do we understand it? No. Not then, not now.
Can we rest in the knowledge that He holds the universe in His hand?

We can. We do. Through the unbearable ache of loss we see time in a new and different way.

Ever so slowly we've come to a place where there's joy again in our together times, where laughter bubbles to the surface unprompted, and where love of family wraps itself around you like a blanket set gently across your shoulders on a cool spring night.

Where the ache, still ever present, is not always quite so sharp and killing.

God gave us more.

More, more, more.

More strength, more faith, more peace.

More questions. More longing for heaven.

More of Himself in the dark dead of night and the bright light of day.

Of Hope and Advent and Tangled Christmas Life

On a cold December day in 1992, my father passed away. 21 years ago today, which sounds like a lifetime, but only sometimes feels like one. Time they say is a healer of sorts, and I suppose that's true. The pain shrinks back into the hidden corners of your heart, and there it sleeps, only now and then lifting its head to look you in the eye.

I see my girls and I remember how very much he loved them. I'm sorry he never knew them as the remarkable women they've become. Sorry especially they missed experiencing so much of life with their Poppie.

When this day rolls around every year I'm often caught by surprise at the peace that floods my soul. The knowledge that my father loved Jesus with his whole heart, and the wonder I feel in knowing this planet earth is only one part of the story being written.

Advent is upon us.
The part of the story that brings us right up to the heart of it all.  

We wait, and we're not so good at the waiting. We're so much better at the doing. In a month without a clean page on the calendar we resist being still, feel guilty even for sitting and taking in the miracle.

This month called December grows louder, more demanding, more commercial with every passing year. A noisy mass of honking horns and crowded lots. Long lists and short fuses. Big spectacles and small breakdowns.

 Life so easily tangling up on itself.

It can be untangled.  

Advent comes in a whisper, arching over and under and through the noise. 

A gift we are given in the middle of a knotty life.  

With Advent comes hope. Hope for this tired troubled earth, and hope in our hearts, all the way to the furthest reaches where grief and disappointment and our deepest longings lay.

On a day marked with memory I celebrate that hope.
I make time to be still...

...I hush the noise and listen for the whisper.  

G is for Grief

There were many words I considered using for the letter G today...giggles, girls, graceful...each of these could be easily matched to any number of miscellaneous pictures pulled from my brown paper bag.

Instead, I've settled on this one-grief.

When the A-Z challenge first began, I couldn't tell you precisely what I'd find in my photo stash, only that I had a rough idea of the content. I knew there were too many soccer pictures, lots of shots snapped on sunny summer days, and plenty with little girls playing pretend.

I grab an envelope and peek inside.

There, squished between her two girl cousins, is my niece.  A picture taken on a long ago December day when little girls loved Barney and still believed in Santa.

Like grief itself, I feel something visceral. The photo catches me off guard...it sends my stomach rolling, but I cannot look away. I feel a surge of joy but I buckle my seat belt anyway. Like a roller coaster rising higher and higher, I have learned this year to clench my stomach and brace for the familiar drop.

We're told by the experts that grief follows a pattern. We're told there are stages in grieving...that every  single person walks through them in an order that is predictable, yet for all that communal emotion I've found grief to be a very singular experience.

We talk, we hug, we laugh at the memories that have always made us laugh, and cry for a future that will never be. We do all of these things in some combination of family and that helps, but grief is still a dragon to be conquered, or at least tamed.  While its stages may be predictable, the beast itself is sneaky and we each rage against it in our own dark of night.

You drown a little and you come up for air. You put one foot in front of the other every single day until you're months out from the worst day of your life. You think maybe you've found your equilibrium again, and to a degree you have.

Until a song comes on the radio. Until that funny expression you identify with one so small crops up in some unexpected place. Until you pull a photo from a brown paper bag and are struck by the sweetness of a smile and a moment caught in time.

You hold the picture in your hand and realize that you're smiling too.
You admit that grief is complicated...

You know that love is not.