Pressed Between The Pages Of My Mind

Whoohoo! We've reached the halfway point in the A-Z Blog Challenge today, with 13 letters down and 13 left still to write. Go us!   

 M is for Memory

'the power or process of recalling what's been learned and retained, 

especially through associative mechanisms; the fact or condition of being remembered; 

a particular act of recall or recollection  

In this season when we refer to the term memory we're talking about one of three things- 

Remembering...pretty much anything. Why did I walk downstairs? Into this room? Out to the garage? Why did I come into the pantry? What did I do with that statement-receipt-document? What did she just tell me her name is? 

Names are tough in this season. I used to never ever ever forget a name. I was once the Director of a large preschool and kindergarten and I knew 300 names and the faces to go with. Now someone introduces themself and my brain short circuits. I try to give myself a mnemonic when I meet someone new to help remember their name, otherwise it flies right on out into space.

Initially when things like this happen you wonder if you have some sort of serious memory disorder, but most of the time it's just plain old aging. Not always of course and if you're truly worried you should see a doctor, but everyone I know who is my age-ish says the same thing. They're not as sharp as they were a decade ago. They don't remember names the way they used to, and multi-step tasks require greater concentration than one would think. 

Less multitasking, more let me give this my undivided attention and get it done. 

Hubs and I have many a conversation that goes something like this-'What't the name of those people who lived next door to us in xyz state? They had a daughter who was friends with our daughters and he worked for a software company and blah blah blah.....' 

Then hubs will answer with a name that's close but not quite right, like he'll say Joe and I'll say no it was Jim, Jim!! Yes! Jim!! And then we put our heads together and come up with the last name and a few more details and then we congratulate ourselves and also feel a little bit like we just finished a 5K. 

A lot of thinking in this season requires a collective brain. Truth man. 

Remembering the past...if you're on Facebook I'm sure you'll agree those timehop photos are like a zinger to the heart. You're scrolling along when all of a sudden BAM! there's your daughter at her high school graduation. 

So you look at another picture, then another, and before you know it two hours have passed and you haven't done any of the things you intended to do, because you've spent the better part of a morning traveling down a rabbit hole. 

And then there's your children having children. Few things wing you back a couple of decades the way your kids having kids of their own does. I think we're always looking for all the ways our grandchildren are similar to their parent, the child we birthed.

And when you do get a glimpse, in a look or a gesture or the way they turn their head just so, it makes your heart go squish. 

Watching your grown children feed and love and care for their children takes you back to that time in your own life...to the exhaustion and the frustration and the sweetness most of all, and how ding dang fast it's all gone by. 

Making new memories...this is true and important in every season, but I think I'm more aware of it in my third act. Hubs and I are both currently healthy and we're active people. I was at the doctor Monday for my physical and she asked if I'd had the pneumonia vaccine and I said 'am I 'old' enough to need that?' 

Sometimes I forget my age. 

I want to enjoy spending time and doing things with the people I love, talking to the most interesting little people I know hearing about all they are discovering, wondering and loving. I want to meet new people and see new places, hear other people's stories, what they've experienced in their lives. 

On the whole I think we remember the milestone events that happen within the life of a family, but I want to remember some of the smaller moments too. I so wish I had more pictures of my girls with my own parents. We never lived in the same town, so photos with either set of grandparents are typically of the birthday or holiday celebration variety. These are of course very special, but it would be sweet to have more of the everyday ordinary snaps taken with them. My mom played such great imaginative games with my girls and I wish I had captured more of that. 

My grandchildren (and my children for that matter) don't always want to have a picture taken, but I annoyingly persist and eke out a few every now and then. They'll thank me someday. My dad died unexpectedly young and I treasure the pictures I have of him with my girls. It's cliche to say it I know, but it's also true...we're not promised tomorrow. 

Easter, 1992

We have today and today is as good a day as any for making a memory. One that will feel tender and precious as we look back on it in the years to come. 

Linking this post with Talking About It Tuesday hosted by Joanne at Slices of Life