Y'all know how I feel about 'unedited', but I'm jumping in anyway.
I live in the land of in between. That time and space known to some as middle age, but to me as the great gulf of in between. The place where I wait for what's next. The place where my young adult daughters are making some of life's most important decisions, decisions with consequences that will stretch far beyond their own future season of in between.
The place where they want to steer their own course, yet know in their heart of hearts they still need their momma to listen, encourage, and pray....to resist telling them precisely what to do, yet confirm the direction they're heading is the right one. They need a soft touch, a gentle suggestion, prayer as deep as the ocean.
I have one daughter living in a city that is not here, completely independent yet still calling home when her car won't start, she's lost her keys, or she needs a splash of the unconditional love of a mother for her daughter.
I have another daughter, also living in her own apartment in a state that is not here, finishing graduate school, job-hunting, preparing to move to yet another far from home city. A daughter who occasionally still needs her momma to get on an airplane and sleep beside her as she wrestles with a future that is full of excitement, possibility, and questions for which there are no sure answers.
The land of in between is a place where your twenty-something daughters sometimes give you a sweet glimpse of their seven year old selves. A place, where for a minute, you long for the glorious days of young motherhood, yet know if actually given the chance you wouldn't go back.
It's the place where you look at your once upon a time pony-tailed, hula hooping, dress up wearing, children of your heart and say wow. It's the place where you have a spectacular view of how God's design for the seasons of parenting is good and perfect. Where your heart is fuller than it ever was, and where you realize each stage you've walked through with your children was your favorite.
The land of in between is a place where a husband who has worked hard all his life dreams of retirement. Where the dream is close enough to taste, but not quite close enough to touch. The place where instead of an office or an airport, he'll spend hours tinkering with a boat at the end of a dock. A place we can both see as clearly as if we were standing there now, except we're not. We're still in between.
The land of in between is a sometimes restless place. A place of looking back and looking forward, but struggling some days to look at the now. A place where time is easily wasted waiting for the what's next. A place where you feel young and still full to overflowing with plans...still dreaming of accomplishing much and big and meaningful, working to reconcile what you feel on the inside with what you see on the outside.
The land of in between is a place where I've met God anew. It's in this season He has given me the gift of empty spaces to be filled up with the knowledge of Him. The place He knew I'd need to be way back when I was still reading bedtime stories to freshly bathed little girls in footie pajamas, whose soft sweet curls made me feel all was right with the world.
It's a place to think, reflect, and plan. A place to pray more and deep and big. A place to rest after walking the winding trail to here. A place to make us ready for what's across the gulf of in between.