Mama please take my kodachrome away

Have you ever felt so totally and completely overwhelmed by a task that you think about it almost 24/7 but you don't actually do anything about it 24/7? Well that is where I am with my scrapbooking/photography. Holy moly I am the queen of procrastination when it comes to sorting, filing, copying, and scrapbooking my most recent photos. And I am using the term 'recent' very very loosely. I mean recent may refer to photos we took in NYC over Christmas and it may also refer to photos we took in Athens Greece in 2007. And it may possibly even refer to photos taken pre-out of the country move which occurred in 2003. Yeah.

I did some scrapbooking in the UK...slow and steady but steady nonetheless. Then we got crazy busy with blogging move preparations and I told myself that I'd put it aside and really get it organized and caught up once we moved. After all, I wouldn't know anyone in my new little town and I would have hours to fill happily scrapping away. Well that's not happening. Somehow I am filling the hours and it's not with scrapbooking. It's not even filled with organizing the scrapbooking.

We have a huge walk in closet in our office and when we bought the house I had visions of organizing all my scrapbooking supplies in this closet. We had a closet organizer out to give us a quote on customizing the space and we decided we needed to pay college tuition instead so the closet sits un-customized. And unorganized. And I need another quote or at the very least a trip to Michaels and Home Depot to diy it. I have another huge walk in closet in a bedroom upstairs and half of my scrapbooking supplies are sitting in that closet. Also unorganized. Then there are the old photo albums and boxes of pictures that have been in storage but are now sitting in my basement. Guess what? They also need organizing.

Am I giving you a headache? Because just thinking about this job gives me a headache.

My husband is going to be traveling quite a bit in the next two months and I have decided to make this my project while he is racking up the frequent flyer miles. I am determined to dig in and make sense of the boxes and photos and supplies currently residing on all three floors of my house. My husband is neat. Very very neat. I know the scrapbook chaos makes him a little bit crazy so he tries not to open those closet doors. I try not to either but I see it in my sleep. I don't need to open the door to know the closet fairy has not come because, oops, I am the closet fairy. Time to dust off my wings and get busy.

Wynken, Blynken, and Nod...aka a post about sleep

I'm trying to write more in this new year but I'm realizing some days I don't have a lot to say. It doesn't stop me from saying stuff but when I stop and think about what I'm writing sometimes even I roll my eyes.

We had a pretty low key weekend. The highlight for me was flipping our mattress around so that I am now sleeping on the correct side of the bed. We bought a new mattress for our bedroom when we moved into this house. And we got one of those mattresses where you lay down in the showroom and tell the salesman about all your aches and pains and they adjust accordingly. And your side of the mattress may be different than your husbands side of the mattress because apparently I have neck, shoulder, low back pain and he's got nothin'. Incidentally I got a new pillow too and voila, neck pain is gone. Don't you like that I can work a French word into a post about nothing?

Anyway, because we got this special mattress we each have a designated side to sleep on and as it happens when they delivered the mattress I had them set it up so that after 25 years of marriage I'm now sleeping on the 'wrong' side of the bed. And I didn't even notice. My husband commented on it the very first night. We got in bed and he said, 'Why am I on this side?' Hmmm. We have a set side? Yes, yes we do as it turns out and after 8 houses and 25 years of marriage I should know this. And it also turns out that my husband cannot sleep on the 'wrong' side of the bed. And it has taken me six months of having his knees in my back and clinging to the edge of the mattress to realize that he is never going to be able to sleep on the wrong side of the bed and consequently I will not be able to sleep. So on Saturday we flipped the mattress and all is right with the world once more.

So this weekend we slept. We saw a movie. We took down the outdoor lights since the bushes are no longer drowning in snow. And you know I don't mean 'we', I mean hubs took down the lights because that's his department. We made a big pot of white chili. We napped on the couch. And we watched a lot of football and tried to decide which team we actually support because we feel a certain amount of loyalty to a number of teams. This is part of the baggage that comes with a lot of moves...no clear cut 'home team'. On the bright side though, having a lot of 'home teams' means there's bound to be someone we like in the Superbowl. Which we can watch live as opposed to how we saw it in England which was- we didn't. It started around midnight so yeah...never saw it. Plus football is not something the Brits get excited about. Unless of course we're talking about 'football' and then they get crazy excited. And when I say they get excited about 'football' I'm actually saying they get excited about soccer. Oh and don't ever call it that should it come up in conversation with an Englishman.

And while the weekend may sound a little bit low key aka boring it was not. We've had so much going on for the past week/month/year that this was actually nice. In the words of that ancient Greek
bloggerpoet Homer, 'There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.'

Just make sure you're on the right side of the bed.

An at home version of The Melting Pot

So it's Friday and we don't have any special weekend plans. Well other than not cooking tonite but that's not really a special plan. That's more like a standing order. I never cook on Friday nights, house rule. I think it's been in place since 1984. It's been in place long enough that if my husband comes home to find me cooking on a Friday night he is disappointed. He loves my cooking but he enjoys going out to dinner too, especially on Friday nights. This quality always goes onto my mental list of things I love about my husband whenever I feel the need to make a mental list of such things. If you know what I mean.

On Fridays we generally go someplace low key, maybe our local Italian restaurant or more often our local pub. Did I tell you we have a pub in our little town? It isn't exactly like our favorite pubs in the UK but there are similarities which we love. For one thing it's old. The building is on the list of National Historic Landmarks and was built I think in 1927. It has wood beams and a low ceiling and the tables are just a teensy bit crowded together. And they are friendly and already know us which is nice. The food is pub like too....no steak and kidney pie but they do hamburgers and fish and chips and a few more substantial dishes. It's fun, kinda like a hangout.

Anyway, back to my not cooking. Last Friday night I made an exception and actually we all cooked...we made fondue and it was scrumptious. The daughters bought the dad two fondue sets for Christmas...one is strictly for chocolate. He loved the gift because when we eat fondue we all think of happy ski trips to Austria and France. When it comes to cheese and chocolate France gets an A+. Lets see...how many times have I mentioned French cheese on my blog in the course of a year? I'm thinking more than a few. It's highly deserving though so I'll probably bring it up a few hundred more times before we're through.

Fondue is a fun family thing...it's casual and relaxed and we had such a nice time talking and laughing and remembering and of course tasting. We started with cheese fondue using the recipe found here.

We cut a loaf of French bread into cubes for dipping and we also sliced some Granny Smith apples which tasted really good in the cheese. We had some champagne too because I'm pretty sure when you eat French food you need champagne. We ate a lot of cheese and afterwards we all felt the need to play a little Wii and pretend to burn calories with some pretend sports. Incidentally, can you throw your shoulder out fake bowling because I totally did something to my shoulder that night? After our 'workout' we were ready for the dessert fondue. It was chocolate and it was heavenly. We used the Ghiradelli Ultimate Chocolate Fondue recipe which you can find here. You're welcome.

We cut a buttery pound cake into cubes for dipping along with bananas, strawberries and pineapple. The fruit was good but the cake was my favorite. Big surprise I know.

It all felt very celebratory and I think if someone mentions fondue now I'll not only think France...I'll think New Jersey too.

And I'll think about my family happy and relaxed at our kitchen table...sharing fondue, talking and laughing and making new memories in our new home in a brand new year.

Enjoy your weekend!

General folderol

Don't you just love that word? It means nonsensical talk or writing so don't say I didn't warn you. I have two fun things to tell you about today the first being this...I won something! Yay! It's a book and is part of a blog carnival called I Win You Win hosted this month by Amy at All Things Ro. The carnival was started by Robin several months ago and the prize is a copy of the book Sisterchicks in Wooden Shoes by Robin Jones Gunn. Here is how the whole thing started....and I'll let Robin tell it (and I mean Robin the blogger, not Robin the author)...

'As I finished the book up the other day I began to think about the two women the story centers around. The story begins with two pen pals in elementary school and they continue with their friendship for many, many years through letters and emails, but they have never actually met, not until things change for the main character. Her life takes an unexpected turn and she finds herself face to face with her long time pen pal. I began to think of the similarities between the two women in the book and all of you, my fellow bloggers. As members of this unique internet community we enter into each other lives as we read each others posts, as we comment, share encouraging words or just a well needed giggle now and then. But what I enjoyed as I read this book was the depiction of the friendship these two women shared. They had been intimately involved in each others lives but had never been in the same room with each other, never shared a cup of coffee over the kitchen table, never wept in each other arms. Yet they still shared in the deep bonds of friendship. The relationship the two women in this book have is a real friendship, as real as friendships get. I found the similarities between the book and the blogosphere to almost mirror each other."

Now, here is where the fun begins. Robin had the wonderful idea to 'share' the book. I think I'm the fifth person to read it and winning comes with a few responsibilities which are-

• Read the book (preferably within a 4 week period of time)
• As I read the book I am to make notes in the margin or on a favorite chapter of the book.
• When I'm finished write the date and my blog address on the inside of the front cover. I can also tuck in a book mark as a small gift or even a surprise gift card or some other small prize but I'm supposed to have fun with it.
• When I'm through I'll put the book on my blog and continue the “I Won You Won" giveaway. Then you'll have a chance to win and keep the sisterhood of the traveling book going...watch for that post in the next few weeks.

The next bit of fun is for NOW....I am approaching my blogaversary. Is that word in Webster's? I think not. Anyway, I hit 'publish post' for the very first time on January 21, 2009 and I think that calls for a little celebration don't you? I'm not too techie and I use too many words so I'm going to keep it simple...leave a comment on any post I write between now and January 20th and mention my blogaversary. You will then be eligible to win fabulous prizes. Not really. But there will at least be a prize and I will try to make it fabulous. I like big adjectives though (note my overuse of the word spectacular) so fabulous may be a relative term. I will for sure drop your name in the hat for a chance to win something 'good'. And of course I will be using a hat as opposed to one of those random integer generators because I think I just told you I'm quite the techie. Let's also say if you link to my blog in any of your posts between now and January 20th I'll drop your name in the hat twice, once for commenting and once for the link. And....you lurkers...if you de-lurk and become a real life honest to goodness follower of my blog you'll be entered twice too. Lurkers need encouragement y'all.

I will close the comments at 6 am Eastern Standard Time on January 21, 2010 (ooooh so official!) I'm sure I'll mention this at least 42 times once or twice on my blog between now and the BIG DAY so stay tuned.

Whew! Who knew planning a party was so exhausting?

The Random Continues in 2010

A couple of serious posts this week so today its time for a little bit of fun…come play! Answer the questions on your own blog and then hop over to Linda's to link your answers.

1. When was the last time you craved a food--what was it, and did you cave?

Christmas chex mix…of course I caved. I have no willpower. I did however dig deep for enough self-discipline to toss the remains last week. I thought twice about it but like I said, if its within arms reach I’ll eat it so it had to go. Oh and I linked to the recipe in this post in case you have never experienced the deliciousness that is Christmas Chex Mix.

2. M & M's or Skittles?

Do you really need to ask? M & M’s of course. Preferably peanut.

3. Have you ever read the Bible completely through?

No. I tried last year but it became quite stressful so I shifted gears. I was getting all hung up on missing a day here and there to the point that I was missing the whole big picture. My bible has a plan in the back and I quite often follow that so I’ve read most of the Bible through but some days I just needed a Psalm or to read a familiar passage. I think it's an admirable goal but I haven’t managed it yet.

4. How long does it take you to really wake up in the morning?

Couple of seconds. Seriously. I’m a total morning person which I realize is obnoxious to the non –morning types, some of whom may or may not live in my house.

5. Have you ever been on a cruise? If not, would you like to?

No. I have a little something called motion sickness. Cruise lovers always try to convince me I could do it but I know my limitations. I love to travel though so put me on a plane or in a car and I’m good. Well, as long as I remember the Dramamine I’m good.

6. Who is your favorite actress?

Loving Sandra Bullock these days.

7. ______ is something that I will just never understand.

um. Obama. Oooh...a little politics thrown into the random. Sorry/you're welcome.

8. How much of a technology junkie are you?

I like technology and definitely appreciate the convenience of technology until it doesn’t work and then I hate technology. And figuring out new technology does not come naturally to me but as long as I have children to pester for help then I do okay. Oh and I’m not someone who has to have the latest gadget. My family had to literally pry my old phone out of my hands for the upgrade. Once I upgrade though I fall in love with the new product and won’t want to let go of that when its time either.

9. Do you enjoy selecting greeting cards for people, or is it more of a cultural "have to" for you?

I love cards….love choosing them, writing in them, posting them, receiving them. Next question.

10. When was the last time you got a new style/haircut?

Kind of in July. I say kind of because it’s supposed to be my old cut just with the new stylist. He’s almost got it right and he did match the color to perfection so I can’t complain too much. I like this guy. I don’t love him like I loved my girl in the UK but I have thick hair with a natural wave in the back and lots of it. He’s done an excellent job at not making me cry. All my hairdressers complain of carpal tunnel when they finish drying my hair. And may I just say that I have moved many times in my life and finding a new hair dresser rates right up there in the top three most stressful aspects of the whole deal?

11. What do you enjoy shopping for most?

Shoes. Or pottery. Preferably Italian. And preferably shopped for in Italy.

12. What's the last thing you think of before you leave the house?

Did I turn off the iron/stove/coffeemaker? Did I set the alarm? Don’t ask me how many times I’ve left the house and returned to double check one of the above knowing perfectly well there is no need because that would be a whole ‘nother post and would I’m sure require some pretty deep analysis.

A not so blurry line

Let me preface this post by saying that you just never know what you're going to get here. Sometimes I write about travel, sometimes I write about the empty nest or parenting daughters or living in England or food or any number of random topics. In other words I haven't exactly defined my blog content. One of the reasons I started blogging is because I like to write. And I'd like to be a better writer which is why I told myself I was going to participate in the one word blog carnival more regularly in 2010. Every two weeks Bridget and Peter host a one word blog carnival where you can link a post relating to the selected word of the week. And this week the word on the blog carnival is lust. Yeah.

I only participated a couple of times back in the fall but I really enjoy reading the posts every two weeks and I encourage you to go here and read this week's posts. So many talented writers and it is amazing how many different directions people can go with just one word. I'm thinking this week maybe not so many but I might be wrong. And I thought about not participating but that seemed chicken. I thought, 'Does this word ever have a positive connotation?''

Nope. Don't think so. At least I couldn't come up with one. It takes me back to highschool youth group talks...'Is it love or is it lust?' We didn't care truth be told because lust does that. Lust blinds us to reality and consequence. It puts the focus on the me instead of on the you. Where a relationship built on love asks, "What can I do for you?" a relationship based on lust asks, "What can I get from you?"

As I thought about this week's word the phrase lust for power kept running thru my brain. And the phrase lust for power makes me immediately think about our government. I'm sure many of our senators and representatives went to Washington DC with the noblest of intentions. They truly wanted to represent their neighbors and community... to give something back to a country that has afforded them so much. But a little taste of power ignites a lust for more. And that lust causes them to forget why they ever went in the first place. Or to ignore and excuse and justify behavior. Lust brings out all kinds of loveliness in we humans doesn't it?

I thought I'd go to the authority on this particular topic and while the Bible has plenty to say on the topic of lust there is no 'lust chapter' that I'm aware of. There is however a love chapter (1 Corinthians 13) a portion of which goes like this...

'Love is patient

and kind

love does not envy

or boast

is not arrogant or rude

It does not insist on its own way

it is not irritable or resentful

it does not rejoice at wrong doing but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.'

And lust is exactly the opposite.

One of the things I like about the blog carnival is the way it makes me think just a little bit harder. Once I've seen the word for the week it rolls around my brain and I am more observant of life...my own and also what is happening around me. I don't know if you watch The Bachelor but we do...it's a bit like watching a train wreck in slow motion and as we watched last night I couldn't help but think about this week's word. Reality television and lust seem to go hand in hand and as I watch I'm struck by the easy way the word love is tossed around. Love is easy? The line between love and lust is a little bit blurry in the world of reality television it seems. Actually it's a little bit blurry in the real world too. Lust is easy. But love? Not always easy.

My favorite verse in Chapter 13 is this...Love bears all things...all things...like mortgage payments, vomiting children, in -laws, leaky faucets and dead car batteries to name just a few. While lust sits on the surface of life, love goes deep. It sits squarely in the center of life's everyday-ness. Love requires commitment and thought and effort. It requires doing the hard thing when you don't feel like it. It requires showing up. It requires selflessness.

It fills you up. It seeps into all you are and hope to be. Love's demands are great.

So are love's rewards.

We Are Family

We took the girls to the airport this afternoon. Let me just tell you that is no fun at all. And you can't help but notice other families milling around the terminal seemingly in the same boat. Its pretty easy to recognize the parent of a college student in an airport following a holiday....they are trying hard not to cry. It's also easy to recognize the college students... they are trying hard not to smile. Oh I know mine love me and love being home but after 3 1/2 weeks they are ready to get back to school and friends and normal daily life.

When my kids were in highschool and began the college search my thoughts always centered on 'them'...the kids. What would they become in those college years. How would they handle the opportunities and the challenges? I imagined the college years would be a time for my daughters to grow in confidence and become women connected to, but independent of, their mother. Who knew the college years would also be about me? How would I handle the opportunities and the challenges?

For sure my girls have become more confident and definitely more independent since heading off to university but the road to that independence started long before they left for college. It began the day they took their first step, maybe even with that first short crawl. Independence is a process and it happens in baby steps that are so small you don't see them as they are happening. And then one day you look back and think, wow, my child is growing up. By the time my firstborn baby boarded a plane for South Carolina and left us crying a continent away, well I'd say she was well on her way to independence.

Me though? Not so much. I was defined in large part by my role as a mother and while that will never end it does change. While my children were growing in their independence my love for them was growing too...bigger and deeper and more every minute of every day. It's natural for children to begin making their own decisions, holding their own opinions, establishing their own lives. But that doesn't feel natural to the parent. Our instincts when it comes to our children have always been to hold and protect and our lives have become more joined with every passing year. It has been in these college years that I have come face to face with the fact that my children are in fact adults. I don't think this means they don't need me anymore. I'm long past the college years myself but I still turn to my mother for advice, comfort and wisdom and I think and hope my girls will do the same. But I also recognize that these babies I've raised are people now. Grown people who will love and sorrow, succeed and fail, continue to grow and change and become all that God intends for them to be for the rest of their lives. Just like me.

This house that has felt so full for the past month feels very quiet tonite. In fact it feels bare. Where there were kids lounging on a sofa there is just a blanket that needs folding.. sheets that were slept on (for hours and hours and hours) are now in the washing machine.. two places were set for dinner...two instead of four. That sounds a little bit sad and if I'm honest I'll admit that it is. And that's okay. Because tonite I am also feeling thankful. Thankful for every happy memory, for family meals and conversation, for bedtime hugs, for secrets shared...for the way our lives are intertwined forever and for always no matter how far we travel or how old we grow.