80

My mom turns 80 years old today. I mentioned here last week that in my head my mom is about 40. I can see her so clearly...she is standing in front of her kitchen window and she looks about 40...why is that? We're having a little family party this weekend which is what she wanted. She also wanted chocolate cake and rest assured there will be chocolate cake.

So... a funny thing...me, the person who always has so many words in her head she has to spill a few out here every day...well, I'm having a hard time writing this post. What do you say about your mother? She's mom...she just is. Sometimes we hear a person say 'I carry them in my heart' and that's exactly how I feel.

My mom was born in Arkansas and was raised in New Mexico but she has spent more than half of her life in NJ. I'm sure she sometimes wonders how that happened. She married a Marine which meant moving a lot, as in every year or two for many years. Oh and their four charming children had to be moved too. And there was a year or three where she was completely on her own with those four charming children while said Marine was in Okinawa and Vietnam and other such places half a world away. My mom was always capable...I don't know if she whined or ever felt sorry for herself but I do know that life happened for us kids. She made sure of that.

My mom is an excellent baker and cook. She is famous for her Christmas cookies, both the quality and the quantity. She makes the world's best enchiladas which is what hubs has requested on every single visit since he first sampled them 20 something years ago. She usually obliges by making them and he always obliges by eating way way way too many.

My mom has always been artistic but would probably say she is not. Don't believe her. Her dad was a painter and she definitely got the creativity gene. She majored in art and then Spanish in college. She learned to sew one year while my dad was overseas. She did ceramics for a while. My sister and I loved to play with paper dolls when we were young and we always wanted my mom to cut them out because she never accidentally cut off a tab or a sleeve.

In recent years she has turned her artistic talents to scrapbooking and she is one of those annoying types who can just look at a photo and picture the scrapbook page. She has a bright green thumb and need only look at a plant for it to grow and bloom. She has read a lot of books in her lifetime and she passed on her love of books to all of her children. Thanks Mom!

My mom is very stylish. She loves to shop and she always looks nice. She has beautiful skin which makes her look much younger than her 80 years. I fear I should have listened to that 'no sun' thing she was always going on and on about.

My mom loves the Lord with all her heart and I know she has prayed for her children and now her grandchildren all of our lives. And oh how she loves her grandchildren, three grown up young ladies and a four year old dynamo. My girls liked nothing better than going to mema's house and getting into her dress up clothes, the costume jewelry, the shawl, and especially the Hawaiian mu mu. And I can still see a 4 year old daughter1 parading down the center hall steps into the crowd after my dad's funeral. She was dressed in my mom's slip with the built in bra... a little bit of laughter in a day filled with tears.

My mom has an accidental tradition of buying a few Christmas presents early and hiding them in case someone breaks into her house. When Christmas rolls around she can't remember where she hid them and pretty much every family member at some point thru the years has had a gift turn up the following July or August. We like to tease her about that. We also like to tease her about her tendency to go to 'worse case scenario' in any given situation...there is a certain story that gets told and re-told in our family about the time my brother had been in Philadelphia and arrived home late. My mom saw a spot on the carpet and thought it was blood. She knocked on his door and he didn't answer and she managed to convince my dad to take his bedroom door off the hinges just sure he was lying in there close to death. As it turns out he was listening to music with his headphones on and the look on his face when the door came off was priceless. We have lots of stories like that.

Do you ever feel like you have a hundred little snapshots in your head? Moments that are frozen in time but are still crystal clear? We used to say my mom was the fastest walker we knew. Seriously. I can see my sister and I as little girls run/walking always a few steps behind her. I see her dressed up and getting in the car to go to church. I see her working a crossword puzzle at the kitchen table. I see her carrying laundry up the stairs. I see her playing bridge in the living room or a round of dominoes at the dining room table. I see her walking in the door from the library with an armload of books. I see our living room on Christmas morning overflowing with so many beautifully wrapped packages and a fire in the fireplace... my mom sitting in front because it has always been her spot on Christmas morning. I see her stirring something on the stove. I see her sitting on the edge of my canopy bed brushing my long tangled hair listening to all my tween age worries.

Sometimes as parents we want to be perfect. We look back at raising our children and we think of all the things we would do differently...words we would un-speak, moments we'd like to relive. I'm sure my mother has those feelings too. But as the 'kid' looking back on my childhood I see the sunny moments and I feel the height and breadth and depth of my mothers love.

A love that seeps into my being as only a mother's love can.

And I carry that love in my heart.

Always.

Happy Birthday today to my sweet mom...I love you!

The meaning of life...or something like that

Okay, it's Wednesday but its hot. I'm gonna try for a random dozen but heat does funny things to the brain so we'll see what happens...

1. Why is hot weather such a big news story in July? Oh, I know I talk about the weather on a pretty regular basis here but this is a blog about nothin' so weather talk is appropriate. I'm pretty sure it's always been hot in July and I'm pretty sure that's the way it was meant to be. I guess when you have 24/7 news channels to fill hot weather in July becomes a big story which may explain why we now have news people advising, "...if you're outside and become overheated you'll need to go inside where there is ac..." Seriously? Do we need the news people to tell us this?

2. Let's get this bit out there right off the bat...The Bachelorette. Or should I say the aftermath of The Bachelorette? Yikes. Did anyone watch that interview with Jake and Vienna or did you cringe, cover your eyes and plug your ears, and then go to the kitchen for an icy cold diet coke? Or maybe something stronger?

3. Lisbon. Must go there.

4. My husband has one of those killer whistles which comes in handy if you are trying to get the attention of your child in a sea of thousands but is completely annoying when you are standing less than one foot from the source. I'm convinced that thirty years of standing right beside him while he whistles at every concert, sporting event, program, etc. is the reason I respond to almost every question he asks with, "What did you say?" I think he finds that annoying but he only has himself to blame.

5. We went to see Toy Story 3 on Monday afternoon and no, we did not have any young children to chaperone. We just wanted to see it and we liked it a lot. I love the detail, especially the baby doll with one eye that stays open and one eye that blinks. Didn't every little girl have a doll like that?

6. Tomorrow is my mom's 80th birthday...betcha can't guess what's on tap for tomorrow's blog post?

7. My sweet girlies are coming home for the weekend. Sad its only for a weekend but so happy to have them home snug in their own beds. Or in sleeping bags on the floor since my whole family is coming to town too and the girls may or may not have a bed to sleep in. I mean, I can't put my 80 year old mother in a sleeping bag on the floor can I? And she would be quick to correct me and say, "Hey, I'm not 80 yet."

8. A friend emailed me this cartoon today...I had no idea the cartoonist at The New Yorker was reading my blog.

Cartoons © 2009 The New Yorker – Cartoonbank.com. All rights reserved.

cartoon credit ArcaMax Publishing Comic

9. I saw an ad for a movie coming out called Ramona and Beezus. I loved the Ramona series as a child but I'm always leery of my favorite childhood books becoming movies. Especially books where the title character is so clearly etched in my brain...very seldom does that translate to a movie in a way that is satisfying. We'll see.

10. Mary over at Life in a Small Town has bestowed another bloggy award on my blog...its called 'A Blog with Substance'.

For some reason I find that funny. If you are a regular reader here you probably find it funny too. Thanks Mary! As part of the award I'm supposed to explain my blog philosophy in five words. Oh dear. There are so many things wrong with that statement. First of all, have I ever managed to say anything in only 5 words? And second, philosophy? I'm supposed to have a philosophy? Hmmm...okay here it is

random musings about everyday mid-life

Is that a philosophy? I think it works because essentially it means I can talk about anything and everything which is pretty much what I do here. And see, I managed to use five words but then I felt the need to explain the five words. Welcome to my world.

11. Is anyone cooking dinner these days? I mean, real cooking? In my opinion its too hot to cook and I like to prepare easy meals in the summertime anyway. We had BLT's for dinner on Monday night and last night we ate big salads topped with a grilled chicken breast. And you do know that when I say its too hot to cook I mean its too hot for me to cook. It is not however, too hot for hubs to stand beside a bbq grill at 7:30 PM with our outdoor thermometer registering a balmy 103. He's a trooper. Most days I'm really glad I'm the wife and not the husband here.

12. If you clicked on every link in this post you deserve your own award. How about I send you out with a little music? Love this song...an oldie but a goodie....oh, and you'll want to please just disregard John Sebastians sideburns.

Red, White, and Hot

Whew...that actually felt like a long weekend. Technically for us it was because we had a couple of extra days attached. Hubs arrived home from Brazil Friday morning so he napped and took the rest of the day off. He wanted to play a round of golf and for some reason he wanted me to go along too...we live in a golf course community so I was kind of interested in checking out the course. I've heard it's pretty tough because much of it is uphill but it is beautiful.

So guess what? Apparently I talk too much to be an excellent golfing companion. Who knew? Oh, and I also drive the cart just a little too fast or as hubs says, "You are scaring me to death" which is no small thing because he doesn't scare easily. It was fun y'all...there are some very steep hills and a few times I commented that it felt sort of like the Hillbilly Golf we used to play on the mountainside in Gatlinburg, Tennessee which was miniature golf and really fun. Hubs commented that usually the caddie is not quite so chatty.

We woke up to another scorcher on Saturday so we did a few things around the house, watched some World Cup play and then that evening we headed to the nearby Baseball Stadium to see our local team in action. They are part of the Can-Am league and I love going to games in these smaller stadiums. We sat directly behind home plate and the tickets were just $12. I decided I better pay attention during the game just in case the catcher wasn't any good.

Our seats were in the shade which was glorious because the players seriously looked like they might melt before they took their first swing. Between innings all sorts of fun and games transpired and its kind of a wonder the players can concentrate what with all the fan events... there is tire racing, hamburger eating, hula hooping...at one point they even put a mattress on the sideline and the team mascot wrestled a 10 year old boy. I don't know who does their event planning but whoever it is certainly earns their money! We lost by one run but there were fireworks after the game which kind of made up for it. Oh, and this guy was one row in front of us...he's Judge Andrew Napolitano, a frequent guest on Fox news.

Sunday dawned hot and steamy. A-gain. Our local parade started at 1PM which, hello, it's HOT, but we managed to squeeze our chairs into some shade and watched what I'm sure most small town folks watched all across America...

...many many firetrucks, a few Classic cars carrying various folks, the Miss Small Town crown holder who definitely had that pageant wave perfected, the local water ski and swim teams and of course the veterans. Most entrants were throwing candy which in essence is a moving pinata. And just like at a birthday party you end up with some kids hogging all the candy and some kids crying because they didn't get any. We stayed out of the fray...not even the promise of a tootsie roll could make me budge from my shady corner.

When the parade ended we went home to the blessed air conditioning for a while. We grilled some steaks before we headed back to town for the evening festivities. Hubs insisted we take the supermodel with us which sounds crazy because most dogs have a thing about fireworks and loud noises but not our pup. She loves a crowd, loves to be admired, and will let anybody in the universe pet her. Our first stop was the local park where a blues festival was happening. Dixie managed to wipe her muddy face on my white capris before I'd even gotten myself into the chair but I got over it. It took a few minutes but I did. It was really just too hot to be annoyed about that. We love live music so we found some shade, plopped our lawn chairs down and listened to some really good blues while the pup stalked squirrels and all was forgiven.

When the music ended we carried our chairs into town to sit closer to the lake for the fireworks display. Dixie never so much as perked up an ear when the show started. There was an adorable little three year old girl sitting beside us with her mom and grandma. I felt sorta bad because all this little girl wanted to do was pet our dog and I know the mom wanted her to ooh and ahh over the fireworks. The mom was wonderful though and she didn't make a big deal about it...she just went with it which was sweet. I wanted to tell her that in a few years she will look back on this night and say, "Remember that year we watched the fireworks at the lake and all she wanted to do was pet that silly dog?" Because those are the kind of things you remember.

We decided to stop for ice cream after the show and Dixie always gets her own scoop of vanilla. She really is a beautiful dog and people always comment on her pretty coat and her gentle disposition and her excellent behavior. Of course these people have never seen her snatch a turkey sandwich off the counter when your back is turned and gobble it down before you can blink. Or drink the cup of freshly brewed coffee you just poured for yourself but left unattended for a split second. A few folks watched her 'thoroughly enjoy' the ice cream though and they may have changed their mind about her manners. Drool. Ick.

I love the 4th of July...it's one of my favorite days. I love to see flags flying. I love to see people dressed in red white and blue... to hear the patriotic music...to wave to the veterans in hometown parades. I love the heat and the hot dogs and the history. And most especially I love that for one brief moment we seem to put aside our differences and celebrate all that is good about America.

Three cheers for the red, white and blue

So do you have plans for the 4th of July? Hubs returned home this am very, very early and will actually be staying put for the long weekend. He was traveling again last week which I think I told you was his modus operandi for the summer. Brazil this time... he even managed to be there during World Cup play which apparently they take pre-tty seriously. Plus its winter in S.A. so he got a little reprieve from the lovely humidity we've been experiencing. Anyway, we don't have much happening in the way of plans but there will be a bbq, a baseball game, and fireworks thrown in there somewhere.

Flashback Friday's theme today is 4th of July memories from your childhood. To be honest I don't have real specific memories of the 4th. We probably went to the pool, we may have cooked out on the grill or sometimes had a cookout with family friends, and we often made homemade ice cream. We always churned the ice cream in the garage...it required a lot of sweat on the part of my dad and brother while my sister and I took turns sitting on top of the machine to keep it from 'walking' while they cranked. Today you just plug them in and voila, ice cream without all the work. It still tastes good but something is missing....I think the hard work made it just a little bit sweeter.

When our girls were young and we lived in Annapolis we used to love going over to the Naval Academy to watch the fireworks. My hubs office was downtown so we always had a parking space and we'd bring the red wagon and load up the cooler with a picnic and sit on a blanket on the sea wall lawn with lots of other families. We all loved this and sometimes friends came too. We always brought a few things for the kids to do while we waited for darkness to come and my daughters entertained everyone around us with their amazing hula hoop skills.

Annapolis always had fantastic fireworks out on the river and its an absolutely beautiful spot so lots of sweet memories from those days.

I suppose I cannot write a post pertaining to fireworks without mentioning a little 'incident' that occurred one year when we spent the week of the 4th at the beach with friends. My hubs grew up in Tennessee where you buy your fireworks at the fireworks super store and we'd been to Tenn earlier that year so we did a little shopping in anticipation of the 4th. As you might imagine I was not a fan of setting off your own fireworks and spewed out danger warnings and tales of potential mishap, but hubs would not be deterred.

Anyway we had rented a house with friends and their little girls at a beach that will remain nameless for the week of the 4th. Hubs brought his fireworks along and was so excited about shooting them off later in the week. The problem was, the first day we were there we saw a 'no fireworks' sign posted as one of about 15 'do not do' things on signs along the boardwalk. He was wildly disappointed.

The night of the 4th we were sitting out on the beach when all of a sudden somebody in a house a few blocks back set off some of their own fireworks. That was all it took and hubs was out of his beach chair jogging back to the house to get his stash. Rules schmules. He and our friend J set up what they liked to refer to as the staging area and J's wife (C) and I gathered up the children to go stand far far away on the boardwalk. It was pitch black so you couldn't see the guys at all but boy, you could see the fireworks. He definitely got his money's worth as attested to by a boy standing near us with his mom who uttered, 'Wow, these are better than the city's show!"

About that time my friend and I and our small children heard another voice...it was heard over the static of a police radio and it was uttered by an officer on a bicycle not a foot away (where did he come from?) who said, "I think I've got the perpetrators in sight" Whaaaat??!! We scooped up our children, discreetly of course, and herded them towards the house before they could proudly exclaim, "that's my dad!" C hustled over to the staging area to tell the boys ixnay on the ireworksay. As we hustled the girls along we began to note all the very many bicycle officers on duty, all poised for when 'whoever' was shooting off the fireworks lit the next fuse.

The small children were crying just a little by the time we got back to the house concerned the Daddies would go to jail. We moms kind of worried about the same thing but assured them by saying, 'No, we'll just have to pay a whopping big fine and oh yeah, say goodbye to this sweet beach town because we will never be able to return.'

All's well that ends well though and the 'perps' were not apprehended...they arrived safely home a short time later. And our girls had some great material to use in their back to school essay come September....you know, "What did you do on your summer vacation?" Daughter2's answer may have involved 'we ran from the police." oops. No haters now...we learned our lesson. Well, the girls and I did anyway.

I'm linking this post up with Flashback Friday over at Mocha with Linda's...stop by to read more July 4th memories.

Have a wonderful holiday weekend...God bless America!

A Random Game of Tag

Raise your hand if you think summertime takes a long time to get here but once it arrives it moves like a speeding locomotive...winter arrives and it hovers. Why is that?

Moving on...you know it just wouldn't be Wednesday without a little bit of random so here you go...

1. People in the south like to talk about the weather almost as much as people in England like to talk about the weather. We won't mention how often I talk about the weather. Hey-it's Wednesday people.

2. It is so humid here that talking about the weather is completely understandable....you know its bad when you step outside at 7 am and your sunglasses immediately fog up.

3. I wish we could grow crepe myrtle in our little corner of the Northeast...they are so beautiful all across the south...even the tiniest shopping center has a patch of them blooming in all their pink, white, or lilac glory.

4. My mom is turning 80 next week and I'm hosting a family party to celebrate. Does anyone else have trouble thinking of their mother as the age she actually is? In my mind when I think of my mom she is about 40 years old. She will always be that age in my head.

5. My girls have tried on a lot of clothes in the past two days and every single thing looks positively adorable on them. How is 00 petite even a real size?

6. I think red ripe watermelon is one of the best things ever created. It satisfies my sweet tooth yet its not chocolate. Plus, it is packed with anti-oxidants and has blah blah blah lots of other health benefits (you can read more about that here if you like). I eat a ridiculous amount of watermelon in the summertime.

7. I believe I've mentioned a time or ten that I'm hanging out with my girls this week which doesn't leave a lot of time for the ole blog. Last weekend Mary over at Life in a Small Town tagged me in a game of blog tag. I figured today was the perfect day to play along...the next five questions are part of the tag and they are for sure random so it works for me. Thanks Mary!

1. (aka 8.) What’s your staple meal (ie. what meal do you cook most often when you can’t be bothered to be adventurous)?

In the summertime it's all about the vegetables...a plate of tomatoes usually with fresh mozzarella and home grown basil, squash fixed some way and of course some sweet Jersey corn and we're good to go...hubs will throw something on the grill...does that count as my staple meal?

In the winter it's definitely a pot of soup/chili/stew or spaghetti and meatballs...comfort food.

2. (aka 9.)- What do you want to be when you grow up?

I fear I am grown up.
Just in case though...an author...a grandmother...a million things.

3. (aka 10.)- What book are you reading at the moment (if any)?

I am always reading at least one book. I have a couple going now but just finished The School of Essential Ingredients by Erica Bauermeister and I liked it a lot. Her writing is lovely plus its set in a cooking school which speaks to me.

4. (aka 11.) How do you relax?

Reading is probably my number 1 way to relax and if there's a beach involved so much the better. I guess I'd also say cooking...I know some people find that really stressful but I love to cook. Then there's blogging, working crossword puzzles, sudoku, napping on my sun room couch...I'm not really a person who has trouble relaxing.

5. (aka 12.) What color are the interior walls of your home?

bold-navy blue, gold, and a warm red downstairs with mostly warm neutrals upstairs although our bedroom is a sagey green which I love. I'm not a pastel person when it comes to paint color. Or life.

"Monday Monday...so good to me...

Monday Monday...it was all I hoped it would be." Remember that song by the Mamas and the Papas? Well it was a good one and it seems appropriate.

I'm spending a few days with my girlies and here's how I spent Monday....

shopping with daughter2

much conversation

more shopping with daughter2

more conversation

get in and out of car no less than ten times

it's hot

and steamy

but we don't care

we talk so much we forget it's 99 degrees

and 100% humidity

lunch at Paneras

more talking

so much talking the woman at the table beside us gives up working on her laptop to get a better listen...I fully expect her to weigh in on a conversation we are having about a boy

she doesn't...but I know she wants to

apparently we haven't had enough shopping so...

more shopping

it's still hot

and steamy

we need to cool off

pit stop at Rita's Italian ice...even the fat free and sugar free are yummy

back to daughter1's apartment

book flights for girlies to spend next weekend at home in NJ

yay!

their mema is celebrating her 80th birthday and needs all her girlies there

daughter1 arrives home from work

big smile because daughter1 has a job

leave daughter2 on the couch to recover from shopping

and all mom's questions

take daughter1 to supermarket to restock her frig

no need to fill her gas tank today since that was on Sunday's list

two girls=two cars=always on E when they know mom is coming to town

I don't mind

much

feel impressed at daughter1's cooking skills

and her interest in trying her hand in the kitchen

unload groceries

sweat

a lot

spend time watching boys swim in the pool outside the living room windows

discuss said boys

walk over to pool and say hello to boyfriends

as a mom of daughters and not sons I enjoy watching boys be boys

leave boys in pool and go to dinner with daughters

we never run out of things to talk about

hurry home so as not to miss a minute of The Bachelorette

do happy dance because we get to compare thoughts on all the drama/insanity/totally real true love in person instead of via text message like we normally do on Monday nights

Justin Justin Justin...tsk tsk tsk

Istanbul=pretty...hubs will be sorry he missed this one since he was in Istanbul just last week

to my knowledge he did not do any olive oil wrestling while there

we laugh

and cringe

a lot

we move on to bigger and better? drama

NJ Housewives

oh dear

boyfriends stayed in their own apts.

for some reason they did not want to join in the reality programme fest

I'm pretty sure sports are all the reality programing they can handle

I usually stay at my sister's house when I'm in town but I spent last night at daughter1's apt.

daughter1 has the day off on Tuesday

you know what that means

more shopping

and still more talking

Monday was a good day.

Tuesdays are good too.

Really, any day spent with daughters is a good day.

Weekend happiness...courtesy of The Palmetto State

Weekends go by so fast, don't they? We woke up early Saturday like everyday because apparently when you hit mid-life your body clock really kicks in and says, "Hey, you're getting older...best not waste time sleeping." What is up with that??? On the bright side, the humidity is not 800% at 7 am so we took the MG out for a ride and then decided to stop for breakfast. Of course this meant by 10 am it kinda felt like the day was half over...next thing you know we'll be eating dinner at 4.

Saturday afternoon I went to a bridal shower and while I was out hubs met friends to watch the US-Ghana football match which of course we won't discuss. And we for sure will not be discussing the England-Germany match and Fifa referees. Back to the shower....it was lovely...a luncheon held in a nearby winery (who knew there were so many wineries in North Jersey??) and it was a surprise for the bride which is always fun. Her bridesmaids will be wearing navy blue in the wedding so the bridesmaids all wore blue dresses to the shower and the bride's mom brought a white dress for her to wear which made for really cute shower pictures.

You know, I'm thinking of starting a new tradition. I think when you hit the 25 year married mark someone should throw you a shower. Because there is nothing like a bridal shower with its shiny new blenders and thick soft towels to make you realize just how worn out things become after many years of married life...hmmm....there's an analogy in there somewhere and I didn't even mention the bridesmaids and their tiny waists and perfect skin. Anyway, don't you think it would be great to get new linens and cookware and counter top appliances right about now?

Of course my favorite day of the weekend was Sunday. Because at 10:25 am on Sunday morning I was greeted by this...

Need I say more?