E is for Experience

Here we are at the end of week one in the A-Z Blog Challenge. Emphasis on the word challenge. I've had a lot going on this week besides what I've written here so patting myself on the back for staying the course. I'm hopeful next week will be more manageable time wise, but we'll see. 

Day 5-E is for Experience

"something personally encountered, undergone, or lived through; 

the conscious events that make up an individual life

"Experience is the teacher of all things." 

Julius Caesar

It's been said that so much of who we are is where we've been and I tend to agree with that sentiment. I'm into my 'third act' (trying not to overuse the phrase but I gotta call it something), so I have plenty of life experiences to mull over. Since my blog is often the place where I 'mull' I'm going to write about a handful of those experiences here this month. 

Let's start at the beginning shall we? My family. The one I grew up in. 

This of course covers a myriad of experiences and I know I'm lucky in that department. I had a happy childhood. I grew up with two sisters and a brother, parents who were married, who worked hard to provide for our every need, and who gave us a sense of security and stability not all children are fortunate to know. 

They made their faith in Jesus a priority in their lives and in our home. We weren't spoiled with material things, but we had all that we needed and most of what we wanted. And we had each other. 

We still do. 

Playmates, confidants, sparring partners, back seat riders, secret sharers, story keepers, truth tellers, teammates. 

Children learn by watching, by imitating what they see. I'm grateful to have had a good example to follow, which in turn impacted the way I've interacted with my own family (the one I birthed) as well as other people I've encountered along life's way.  

Studies have shown that children who grow up in a stable home have a higher degree of success, feel less anxiety, and also less stress. I can still so clearly picture my mother sitting on the side of my bed, telling me to tell her my troubles and she'd listen and help if help is what was needed. My world view, my self-esteem and my sense of belonging are all things that were home grown.  

To be a child who knows they are loved is such a gift. It frees you to be authentically you. 

Making a List, Checking It Often

Day 4 in the A-Z...let's get to it-

D is for Delight

I've taken part in the A-Z blog challenge for a number of years. Typically I don't blog on Saturdays, but since the challenge does call for it, several years ago I came up with something seemingly simple to meet that requirement. 

I made a list every Saturday of little things I love that fit with the letter of the day. It was so gratifying and turned out to be a small blessing all it's own. My plan is to continue doing that this year in my Saturday posts. 

I know. 

Today isn't Saturday, but hear me out. I've been watching my youngest daughter's two little ones all week while she and her hubs are on holiday and I'm tired. TGIF y'all! 

So how does a list like this fit with my challenge theme of 'life lessons learned'?  

Simple. Making these lists the past several years has shown me taking note of 'the little things' stirs up in me a grateful heart. And that's something I want in every season of my life.

In no particular order, and using today's letter of the day (D), here are 20 things that bring delight-

a dazzling blue sky day
a dependable God
daffodils in bloom
dining out
dressing up
darling grandchildren
slow dancing in the kitchen 
driving somewhere new
daydreams
discernment
date nights 
a little girl named Daisy
a dip in the lake 
daughters who mother with patience and humor
dishes done
decency
dreams come true 
daybreak
decorating for Christmas
the big dipper on a cloudless night

Share Your Shelf-March

It's the first Thursday of the month which means it's time to share what we read the month prior. I'm also participating in a blog challenge this month (The April A-Z) and if you're following along you'll find my post on letter C here. 

Now back to books and March and what I read-

Goodbye Birdie Greenwing by Ericka Waller

This is the story of three women who live near one another in the seaside town of Brighton, but don't know each other until a series of events brings them together. Birdie has been lonely and at loose ends since her husband and her twin sister both passed away. 

She has new neighbors, Jane who's a nurse and also a mom and who's trying to get out from under her own mother's brash and demanding way of dealing with everyone. Jane's young daughter Frankie takes after Jane's mother in that she's unafraid to say what she thinks. The third woman we meet is Ada, an oncologist who relocated from Poland to Brighton in order to practice medicine, and who's finding it difficult to make a life outside of the hospital. 

A sweet story about sisters, mothers, daughters, and neighbors. About secrets kept and secrets told. About needing help and accepting help and realizing there's more to people than what meets the eye. The characters were endearing and it was an enjoyable read. Three stars for me. 

 The Lion Women Of Tehran by Marjan Kamali

The story follows two friends who meet in 1950's Iran when they are seven years old. Ellie has lived a very comfortable life until her father unexpectedly passes away and she and her mother have to move. Ellie dreams of making a friend, and sure enough on the very first day of school she meets Homa, who has lived all of her life in the poorer part of the city. 

Ellie and her mother are soon given the opportunity to move back to the wealthier part of town and the girls eventually lose contact, only to re-engage in high school. Ellie is popular and a good student at one of the best high schools in Tehran, when one day Homa walks into her class. Ellie must decide what their friendship will look like going forward and the girls are in and out of each other's lives over the next few decades.

In this well written novel, one somewhat innocent act of betrayal will have far reaching consequences. Ellie and Homa come of age amid the turmoil and political unrest that occurred in Tehran during the 1970's as the Shah fled the country and the Ayatollah Khomeini came in to power.  The Lion Women of Tehran not only deals with a period in history we don't read a lot about, but also with what it means to be a true friend, to live with courage, and to extend and accept forgiveness. I loved it...four stars for me.  

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen 

The ageless tale of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy, who must overcome both pride and prejudice to ultimately find love. I've watched several versions of this story in film form in the past couple of decades, but hadn't read the novel since high school. 

Still witty, intelligent, and great fun to re-read. Five stars for me. 

Shepherds For Sale by Megan Basham

I have followed Megan Basham on Twitter for a long while and knew I wanted to read this one. A well-researched book detailing many of the ways in which 'the world' has infiltrated the evangelical church. Basham tackles eight current cultural hot topics, everything from immigration and abortion to Covid and the #metoo movement within the church. 

She gives example after example of how progressive activists and grant agencies have overtly tried to shape the evangelical voting block, and she documents as well how power brokers outside of the church, have actively gone after the church, in order to break down the final barrier between progressive culture and Christianity. 

This is not an easy book to read, but I think for Christians especially, an important one. 

What Happened To The McCrays by Tracey Lange 

A messy family drama that unfolds at a nice pace. Kyle McCray is living on the west coast when he gets word his father has suffered a stroke. He returns home to Potsdam New York to help his father and reluctantly face the people and the past he left behind. Those people include not only his father, but also Casey, his wife of sixteen years. 

In What Happened to the McCrays we see two sides of a failed marriage, and the emotions of a husband and wife who must confront their pain or be swallowed up by it. A little predictable but overall a very good read. Three stars for me. 

Linking this post with the book girls-Tanya, Marilyn, Joanne, and Jenn for their monthly share. Hop over and see what everyone else has been reading too.

Day Three In The A-Z

Two days in a row with two posts. Whew. It's a lot and hoping I can get a better handle on the alphabet calendar over the weekend. Today is  Day 3 in the A-Z blog challenge and then, because its the first Thursday in a brand new month,  I'm also sharing what I read in March (in a separate post). 

I know people land here for different reasons so if you're here to talk books that post is here. Now back to the alphabet and today's letter-

C is for grown Children 

I started to say adult children but when I looked up the definition that one had a more negative connotation than using the term grown children. Who knew? I thought they were the same thing, but apparently the term adult children implies a level of dysfunction and the term grown children means small children who have grown to adulthood and are capable of independence and responsibility. 

Mine land in the second category for sure. 

I have grown children, children who are now as old as I sometimes feel in my head and think, hey it wasn't that long ago, but then I do the math and see it truly was. It's kind of funny to talk about parenting adult children because aren't we done with the parenting at some point? 

Welcome to the wonderful world of mothering. 

We never stop, right? I mean my 94-year old mother still tells me what lane I need to be in and did I know the speed limit is 25 on this road so yeah. We moms mother because we can't help ourselves. My children have children and husbands and homes of their own now, so where does that leave me? 

Still here. Still mom. But lower case, not ALL CAPS.

I've got a few years under my belt in terms of parenting grown children...my oldest has been married for ten years now, and here's something I've learned. Mothers, the people who've loomed large and in charge throughout their children's lives, in this next act need to be not so large. More pocket sized. 

My adult children don't need me to weigh in on absolutely everything. Instead they want to know I'm proud of them, that I trust their ability to make decisions, that I have compassion for whatever challenges they're facing, and that I'm praying for them...for their spouses and children too. 

I actually love the mental picture of carrying my mom in my pocket. 

When I long for her wisdom, for the way she could smooth over the rough edges of my life, for her belief in my ability to solve a problem and do the right thing, she's there...it's her voice in my head telling me everything will be okay. 

I guess I'm a grown child too. 

And I hope my girls carry me in their pocket.

Striking A Balance

If you're looking for today's Wednesday Hodgepodge you'll find it here- A DIY Hodgepodge

Day 2...I'm on a roll lol...

B is for Balance 

'a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportion' 

When you're in the heavy lifting years of parenting, or when you're carrying the heavy mental load of launching teenagers into young adulthood, life can easily and often feel out of balance. Maybe more out of balance than in balance, and there's not a whole lot you can do about it. 

Children are needy and you are the need meet-er. Their needs and your own desire for space, time, and silence don't always line up, but of course their needs almost always take precedence, and you do what needs to be done.  

High fives to moms everywhere. 

When you leave those seasons behind you free up some brain space to contemplate who you are now and what you want your life to look like. 

I'm a person who likes my space. If I don't have enough of it I get cranky and if I have too much I feel frustrated, restless, and unproductive. I cannot have a completely blank calendar, nor do I want one where there's no room for spontaneous fun, travel, hobbies, or daydreams. 

As I've gotten older I've learned to recognize what I need in order to have balance. When life feels like too much or not quite enough I remind myself of a few simple truths and a few practical helps too...

• Too many days in a row of unproductive activity can leave me feeling out of balance.

• Going and doing and seeing all the people too many days in a row can also leave me feeling out of balance. 

• I hate feeling unproductive.

• I don't have to be productive all the time.

• An activity that on the surface sounds unproductive can in reality be good for my mental health and emotional well-being. 

• Simple pleasures add to the richness of life. 

• Don't procrastinate on tasks that might fall under the heading of 'business'. 

• Make time for things I love that might sound frivolous to other people.

• Feel no guilt for doing so.

• Admit when a full calendar is about to spill over and just say no to adding one more thing.

• When it occasionally spills over anyway, practice gratitude for all the many good things that fill my days and make life full and interesting. 

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: ..." Ecclesiastes 3:1

A Hodgepodge DIY

Welcome to our first Hodgepodge in the month of April. Time's a flyin' isn't it? If you've answered today's questions, add your link at the end of my post then be sure to hop over and leave a comment for the blogger before you. Or all the bloggers if you're feeling chatty. Here we go-

1. No foolin'! April is here. What's one fun thing on your April calendar? 

I'm going to a fundraiser with a group of friends this month and the event has a 1920's theme. Everyone will dress up which should be fun. Also, I found out on Monday Allie Beth Stuckey will be speaking at the local university in April, and I signed up for tickets for both my daughter and myself. I've followed her for years and love her podcast. My daughters went to uni with her which is kind of a fun connection. 

2. It's often said, 'A fool and his money are soon parted'...what's the last thing you wasted money on? 

I bought a pair of tennis shoes which were super inexpensive but I didn't like them at all once I tried them on. I intended to return them so I set them aside, then promptly forgot about them until the return window had closed. Bother. I donated them, so someone who needs a new pair of shoes will I'm sure be glad, and maybe that makes it not a total waste. 

3.  April 2nd is National DIY day. Are you a do-it yourself kind of person or maybe you're married to one? If so, what's the last thing you DIY-ed. If you're not a DIY-er what's the most recent job you had to hire someone to complete? 

I am not a DIY-er, unless we're talking cooking and then I am a make it yourself kind of cook. Most of our married life hubs had a job requiring long days and a lot of travel, which doesn't leave a lot of room for DIY. 

He has always enjoyed taking care of the yard and did a great job with that through the years. Now there's an aching back to think about, so something's gotta give. While he still does a great many things in the yard, we also pay for someone else to do the tasks that might be deemed backbreaking. 

Most recently we've hired an electrician to hang a fan and add some outdoor lights. There's no power in the space currently so it's not simple. As soon as he started talking about drilling through a wall I tuned out. He's done other work for us and I trust him to do the job.We would not attempt electrical work of any kind ourselves. 

4. Do you eat lamb? If so do you have a favorite dish that calls for lamb? 

I like lamb, but other than the occasional lamb chops it's rare we serve it at home.  I will order it in a restaurant if I see lamb chops or rack of lamb on the menu. We ate lamb fairly often when we lived in the UK. It was more readily available at a reasonable price, and it's not easy to find where I live. 

5. Do you fit a stereotype in some way? Explain. 

I looked up stereotypes of women my age and some of the descriptors I found were- forgetful, weak, passive, stubborn. Also, not tech-savvy and out of touch with trends. 

There's a kernel of truth in most stereotypes which is how they came to be called stereotypes, and I'm some of these were more accurate several decades ago. Times have changed. Women now approach aging much differently than they did 50 years ago. Our expectation today is to live longer, be active longer, and contribute to the wider world or at least our corner of it, to whatever degree we're able. 

Do any of those descriptors fit me? Well I will admit to being just a little bit stubborn, but that has nothing to do with my age. Just ask my siblings. 

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

I'm participating in the April A-Z blog challenge this month and today is Day 2. I thought about trying to jam a whole post into my random thought this week, but in the end made today's letter a separate entry. You're welcome. If you're following along you'll find letter B in the post just after the Hodgepodge. 

Here I'm sticking with my original April plan, which was to use this space to share some favorite Easter throwback pictures. Here's one for today- 

Easter, 2010. College students. Statement necklaces. Short hair. 

A lot will happen in the next fifteen years. 

A is For Let's Begin

this post is also linked today with Talking About It Tuesdays hosted by Joanne at Slices of Life

Hello readers and welcome to April. I'm blogging through the alphabet this month in the A-Z Blog Challenge (go here for more info) and my theme this year is life lessons learned. These first few letter posts are likely to be short and sweet as I'm in charge of small humans this week while their parents soak up the sun. It doesn't leave a lot of room for writing. 

On to Day 1-

We've been going a million miles an hour here in recent months days and I've been running to catch up with my life. I'm taking this month to regroup a little and write about some of the things I've learned in the season I'm in right now. 

A is for Authenticity

Before I talk for a month about this chapter? season? stage of life? I need a name for it. I'm going with third act because there's a kindness to that moniker I find appealing. Middle age is unofficially from about ages 40-60 and the third act begins around retirement or age 60/65. I'm in that demographic and I'm going to own it. How's that for authentic lol? 

I read somewhere that authenticity means erasing the gap between what you firmly believe on the inside and what you reveal to the outside world. Genuine, trustworthy, real. 

The world in 2025 is divided, and not just a little bit. While this is awful on so many levels, one positive thing that's come out of it for me is the desire to look at my life, and both examine and acknowledge which side of 'the line' I'm on regarding any number of issues. There's sadly no middle ground on most things and you'll be judged no matter which way you fall. 

I don't care. 

I'm not sure my younger self would have said that because I've always hated disappointing people or making someone mad. I do what I can to avoid causing discord, friction, or anger in my relationships, yet in this third act I feel a sense of urgency to speak truth and worry less about how it's received.  

Of course I want my speech to be gentle in tone, but in a world where we're bombarded with half-truths, untruths, and truths stretched to fit a particular narrative (so dishearteningly prevalent in the Christian community at present) well, sometimes a little righteous anger is justified. 

 

Things that not so long ago were considered to be issues of morality are now dubbed 'political'. For me, as a Christian, every issue we face in society today is spiritual. Everything for me comes back to what the Creator of the universe has said and there isn't a single topic we bicker about that isn't addressed in God's word. 

Of course not everybody agrees as to the veracity of the Bible, but here's me being authentically me...I do. I believe in its inerrancy, and if I'm going to live my 'third act' in an upside down world I am for sure going to hold every issue up to what God has to say about it, and plant my feet there. 

Twenty five years ago the lines between left and right, liberal and conservative, whatever you want to call it, were often blurry. Many shades of gray. You could have a foot in both camps without too much trouble, without anyone calling you out on it, which made for a more civil society, but perhaps a less honest one. 

I don't know if it's due to age or the times in which we live, but I want the people I love to know where I land on matters of eternal importance. 

Do I want to discuss it on Facebook? Nope. Can anything truly be discussed on Facebook? I mean yes we can discuss places to eat and travel and hike and where to get your car detailed, but when it comes to 'hot button topics social media feels a lot like an echo chamber these days. 

Now do I want to have a cup of tea or sit around the fire or float in the lake and talk about the most important things happening in this world and what comes after, then yes. Definitely yes. 

Real life is where its at. 

Says someone with a blog. Which I know seems ironic or maybe inauthentic, but I'm not trying to solve the problems of the world here, tell you how to vote, or make a judgement on your intelligence, all things I've experienced on Facebook.  

What I've always wanted my blog to be is a space where people can share the everyday ordinary moments of living, whatever season they're in, and feel less alone in a sometimes harsh, and often cruel, world. 

I'm not here pretending the deep dark black hole known as 'politics' doesn't exist. 

It's just that everyone's out there trying to figure out what to make for dinner. They're putting up their Christmas trees, and reading great or mediocre books, and driving carpools, and trying to not gain weight while also enjoying a new chocolate cake recipe they tried. 

They're knitting and scrubbing the grout and painting the bedroom and trying to get a baby to sleep through the night. Running 5 K's, growing cucumbers, buying birthday presents and any number of the smallest of things that add up to make a very big life. 

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, and not for men." 

Colossians 3:23

Did I say this would be short and sweet? It seems like it's neither so let's wrap up. I'm me. If we meet in real life I'm the person whose voice you hear when you read my blog. And in my third act I'm finding it's easier to be me than in all the seasons that have come before.