Questions for the Wednesday Hodgepodge-Vol 52

Here are the questions for this week's Wednesday Hodgepodge....everyone is welcome to join the fun. Be sure you come back here tomorrow (Wednesday) to link answers with the rest of the internets.

1. Of all the tools and gadgets you own which do you most enjoy using?

2. When (if ever) is impatience a virtue?

3. What temperature do you keep your thermostat set to in winter? Do you have another way to heat your house besides a furnace of some type?

4. Do/did you have a close relationship with any of your grandparents?

5. When did you last have a family portrait taken?

6. What does the word patriotism mean to you?

7. Do you like to play cards and if so, what's your favorite card game?

8. Insert your own random thought here.

7 on 7

7 on 7 is really just a nice way of saying I have seven miscellaneous and completely unrelated thoughts to share today and it's the 7th of November ergo, 7 on 7.

1. Does anyone actually ever say ergo?

2. Sunday morning I made my way down the stairs to begin my normal routine of choosing a coffee cup, doling out the dog's meds, putting food and water in her bowl and letting her out back. Standing at my kitchen sink I glanced to the left to see if the little family of deer were on the hillside as they are most mornings when I felt something approaching from the other side of the yard.

As my grandma would say, "Land sakes alive!"

A ginormous, and by ginormous I mean HUGE!, bear strolled right under my kitchen window. It is possible I may have freaked just a wee bit. Naturally the camera was in my purse (aka the Black Hole) so by the time I'd recovered sufficiently to yell for hubs to come see, dug out the camera, focused (remember this was pre-coffee), calmed the dog so that she didn't go thru the glass door in her attempt to ge up close and personal with the bear, I only got two lousy pictures. Hubs said the animal practically sat on our furniture and I could have a whole album of pictures if I hadn't been so nuts, but honestly this freaked me out a little. I've never seen one so close to the house and I kept thinking if I'd gone out the garage door as I sometimes do I might have come face to face with him. Shudder.

They are magnificent creatures. He paid us not one iota of attention, just lumbered across the patio, around the firepit and up the hill into the woods. This little episode served as my cardio workout for the day. To quote my hubs, "You handled that well." ahem.

3. In other exciting weekend news hubs coined a new expression. He'd seen some photos of himself and he hates the way his eyebrows look in pictures. Why yes, I am writing a blog post discussing my husbands eyebrows but he's okay with that. Anyway, because they are so gray fair they are sometimes more noticeable than he would like in pictures. We were discussing this very thing on our way to dinner Saturday night and he was lamenting that he looked old. I disagreed but he said no, he was right, that he was having an 'age spurt' Ha. Kinda like the reverse of a growth spurt. Glad to know there's a name for it.

4. I bet you can't wait to be empty nesters and have conversations like this one with your spouse can you? And I ask you-

Does a man who rips dead trees from the side of a very steep hill while deer sleep nearby and a bear lurks who knows where look old?

5. Want to know another interesting topic of conversation we explored en route to dinner on Saturday night? Chapstick. We both agree that there is a narcotic in chapstick that makes it addicting. The more you use the more you feel the need to use. Your thoughts? About chapstick I mean, not about our pathetic mid life conversations.

6. Saturday afternoon we went shopping. Correction, hubs went shopping and I held the coat and commented on the fact that even when a store has a suit sale which is buy one get one free he manages to select the most expensive suit in the store so really, are we actually getting a deal?

Anyway, it was a little chilly here but I was wearing wedges with the toe open because in spite of the chill, I was warm. I chalk that up to my 'age spurt'. Plus I was not ready to put on my old boots...I'm due for some new fall boots or cute shoes to wear with jeans but I've put off shopping for something so far. Hubs told me to just go buy a new pair but raise your hand if you're the mom and you tend to put yourself at the bottom of the list when it comes to buying.

In my head is an ever growing list of things coming up in the immediate and/or the not so distant future-holidays, travel, furnace repair, huge trees being removed from the yard today, college expenses, blah blah blah. Now I know that my buying a new pair of shoes and a college tuition payment do not exactly fall into the same category but if you're a mom I think you know what I mean. Hubs said this is not Appalachia and I need shoes with toes. Period.

7. Finally, I couldn't sleep on Wednesday night and in a moment of middle of the night activity I signed up for twitter. I cannot get my photo to load to my profile and I don't really know what in the world I'm doing but I'm going to figure it out as I go along. I don't know how often I'll 'tweet' because I think we all know brevity is not my forte. You can follow me at Daleyjoy if you are into twitter...and if you are, send me your link (name?) so I can follow you too.

Happy Monday!

Orange Slices and Life Lessons

My mom and I were somewhere recently and somehow the topic of siblings sharing a bedroom came up. I am one of four and my younger sister and I are just a year apart so it was only logical we should be the two sharing a room. We each had our own twin bed with one nightstand between and we even shared a dresser, just a couple of drawers apiece. We alternately loved and hated the set up.

My dad built a long book/toy shelf and somehow we divided that space as well. Right down to the centimeter I'm sure. I can still remember the wallpaper we helped choose....a teeny tiny pattern of pink, red and white flowers glued to the walls and ceiling by my dad. The woodwork was painted red. Hey, it was the sixties people. We loved it...until we got tired of it, but for a while we loved it.

There is something special about growing up with a sister so near to you in age. She was my constant companion and playmate which of course can be wonderful or dreadful depending on the day. Lots of times we played with a group of girls in the neighborhood who were my age, one whole entire year older than sister2. We all know these things matter when you're nine. Sister2 would take any part we gave her just to be allowed to join the fun.

'We're playing house-you can be the dog.'

I don't remember my mom intervening in these little girl negotiations too much. The natural hierarchy of the neighborhood prevailed and somehow we managed to have a lot of fun and/or someone ran home crying while simultaneously shouting "I'm telling mom!" Hours passed, sometimes only minutes even, and then all was forgiven and forgotten. We were back to playing together only this time with a little more kindness shown towards the offended... a little more awareness of how tender feelings need gentle handling.

We had loads of dress up clothes and spent hours wearing them around the house and sometimes the neighborhood. We liked to make up plays and put on shows for whoever we could corral into watching. We played house and store and all sorts of games we made up with our very active, some might say overactive, imaginations. We had no need of a plastic pink house for our Barbies. In the back corner of our yard, really our neighbor's yard, was a great big tree. The ground beneath its branches was the perfect spot for our version of the 'Dream House'.

On Saturday mornings we had chores to do but afterwards we could usually be found with our paper dolls spread from one end of the living room to the other. Our living room was formal and rarely used but it was an ideal location for just such an activity.

When I got into high school my older sister1 had married and moved out of her 'super cool yellow room'. I got to move in to that room with its full sized canopy bed and big yellow flowers on the wall. It's the 70's now-keep up people!

I was happy to have my own room and I think sister2 felt the same. Most of the time. Much to our surprise we sometimes missed the small space between the twin beds where secrets were whispered in a room we shared. So every now and then, on Friday nights, sister2 and I would have a 'sleep over'. She'd come sleep in my room or I'd go sleep in hers.

You see for all the complaining and the bickering and the negotiating of space that took place in our shared room there was also something else. There was the cementing of sisterhood.

Sister2 is celebrating a BIG birthday this weekend and in honor of that I'm going to write down a little story that does not paint me in the best light but remember I was the big sister and it was my job to keep the little in check-

We didn't get candy very often when we were kids so when we did it was considered a very special treat. I don't remember now why we had candy on this particular afternoon but my mom had given us one small bag of the candied orange slices to share. The gummy kind that are rolled in sugar. We were in heaven.

As was our modus operandi back in the day we very carefully counted them out-one for you, one for me, one for you, one for me.

Even steven.

Fair and square.

We were sitting on the floor of our bedroom playing a game of some sort and when sister2 wasn't looking, I stashed my orange slices behind my back. She noticed they were gone and in a precious moment of spontaneous sibling love and generosity said she would share the rest of hers with me. She then gave me half of all she had left. Which I gobbled up pronto.

And then, in a not so precious moment of spontaneous sibling naughtiness, I whipped mine out from behind my back and laughed. She did not. In fact I'm pretty sure she told mom. And I'm pretty sure I was scolded and had to hand mine over to sister. The end.

Its funny what you remember. Out of all of childhood's million moments we both remember this one in exactly the same way. Last year we exchanged bags of candied sugared orange slices with one another on our respective birthdays. And we laughed. Because its the good the bad and the ugly that binds two sister's hearts.

Happy Birthday little sister!

Footloose in the Wednesday Hodgepodge-Volume 51

Welcome to the weekly Wednesday Hodgepodge...add your link at the bottom of my post and come join the party. Here are my answers-

1. Who taught you how to cook?

My mama. She is an excellent cook and I learned mostly by watching and helping. I think my own girls have done the same.

2. Have you been told you think too much? Are too much of a perfectionist? Are too sensitive? Were they right?

What a question! Who wrote this??? It's possible I've had one or more of these statements said about me. It's also possible they were right in saying them. That first one has my name all over it. I definitely think too much. Better than thinking too little though, right?

I'm not an across the board perfectionist, but I do require perfection in certain areas. I used to be more sensitive but as I've gotten older I've developed a thicker skin.

3. As a child did you have a favorite blanket or toy? Tell about it.

My baby doll Catherine-I called her Cathy. She didn't come from the toy store with that name and I'm not sure why I chose it, but my older sister had a friend named Cathy so maybe that's where I got the idea. My doll had auburn hair and didn't do anything really special-no talking or walking or rollerskating or anything else some dolls do now...she was just a regular ole baby doll.

I gave her a plastic bottle, swaddled her, pushed her in a buggy and in general mothered her to pieces. She slept in my bed and every Christmas Eve 'Mrs. Claus' would sneak into my room and quietly take her downstairs. 'Mrs. Claus' bought her a new dress or outfit every year and part of the Christmas morning tradition for me was coming around the corner and seeing my doll sitting beside my stocking dressed in something new.

4. What 'institution' do you have the most faith in?

In spite of what the Kardashians would say I'm going with marriage. Someone remind me again why they're famous?

5. Chrysanthemums, pansies, burning bush, ornamental cabbage...your favorite in an autumn garden?

e. all of the above. Pansies are absolutely irresistible to me...I see them in the garden shop and I just want to buy great big trays full of them. That being said, it would not be fall without the fiery red of the burning bush (euonymus)-

It's my favorite shrub and we have a whole hedge full of them.

6. What superpower do the kids in your neighborhood seem to posses?

Some can fly. Our house sits up on a fairly steep hill and the boys next door like to strap on their skis or snowboards and fly down our hill, across their yard, over the jump they've made from freshly fallen snow, high into the air where they turn a flip just as they soar across their driveway. Then its back to earth on two skis with nary a broken bone. Hubs watches with envy from the sidelines.

I attempted to capture the action during our freak snowstorm last weekend, but it was tough (click to enlarge). If you look at the splotch of red in the center of the picture you'll see Superboy mid- air. You'll also notice three grown men snapping pictures from every angle, wishing they were as young on the outside as they feel on the inside.

7. Are you a fan of the cranberry?

Oh yes, definitely! Wouldn't be Thanksgiving without cranberry sauce/relish. I also love to make my mother in law's wonderful cranberry bread recipe at Christmas time and most mornings I drink cranberry juice mixed with my oj. Love them dried too. I wonder if there will ever be a food question in the hodgepodge that causes me to turn up my nose and say ew, no way!. Somehow I think not.

8. Insert your own random thought here.

I went to see the movie Footloose with some friends last night. As far as remakes go it was pretty good but I think I like the original with Kevin Bacon and Lori Singer better. That scene where she stretches between the moving car and her boyfriend's pick up while a tractor trailer is barreling towards them still gives me the shivers.

Course the main reason the original was better is because it came out in 1984. How can you not love the 80's?

In the trenches

*If you're looking for this week's Wednesday Hodgeopodge questions you'll find them here.

What do you think of when you hear the word strategy? That's the word for this week's blog carnival hosted by Peter Pollack...you can visit Peter's blog and read more entries here.

I suppose for many people the word strategy conjures up images of battle. Men and women in uniforms and dark suits sitting in a war room plotting their next move with maps, charts and collective brains.

My first thought was something else.

Parenting.

I'm not suggesting my children were in any sense of the word, 'the enemy'. They were in fact the complete opposite, but I think strategy is just another way of saying let's have a goal and a plan in place to meet that goal. I can't think of any job on earth more worthy of some thoughtful planning and consideration as to what the end result will be than raising children.

Simple tasks like changing diapers, buckling shoes, and clipping barrettes into the hair of a resistant, squirmy toddler are best done using a little strategy. If I entered into even the most ordinary of tasks with my babies without first considering my plan of 'attack' and all potential outcomes the result might be-

a. a mess

b. an escaping unclothed tiny tot

c. a crying baby and/or mom, and- on a really bad day,

d. all of the above

A toy to distract, a silly song sung, a cookie in hand...these were often the tools used to meet my goal-a freshly changed, combed, and clothed toddler.

As my girls entered the school years strategy was essential in managing the daily calendar. How do I get child A to ballet in location C while simultaneously ensuring child B is on time for a piano lesson in location D? Add dinner, homework, baths, and Jr high girl drama into the mix and you just might confound a 4-star General.

No more toys and cookies...we needed a new plan. If hubs were in town we would often employ the divide and conquer strategy. He'd pick up one child while I picked up the other. He'd supervise reading stories while I washed up dishes. If he was traveling and I was going it alone I sometimes had to eliminate something from the calendar in order to meet my goal-a harmonious evening where homework could be completed, dinner eaten and bedtime rituals performed sans grouchiness and impatience.

Enter the teen years. Don't even think about going there without a strategy. Kids get smarter ya know! The teen years require a trip back to the 'war room' to iron out policies on a myriad of things...dating, curfews, parties, driving, study habits, part time jobs, and most importantly, how to handle a child inching out from under the safety and protection of your wings to find wings of their own.

Our strategy?

Essentially it was this-

love a lot

listen a lot

pray a lot

That makes it sound like we flew by the seat of our pants but I can assure you we did not. Its just that I think everything we did during the teen years falls into one of those categories. Loving a teenager means doling out hugs and encouraging words but it also means having rules and consequences to go with. Listening means sometimes they pour their heart out and it breaks yours just a little. It means you occasionally re-evaluate the rules and adjust as maturity and situations warrant. Praying a lot means you're not in it alone and I kind of think that's the seret to life.

I'm not implying that my strategies worked all the time, that we never had to corral a tantrum-ing toddler, that every evening was harmonious-ha, or that the teen years were without tough moments...but we had a goal and we tried to keep site of that goal as our children grew.

My girls are both well adjusted young adults in their early 20's and you might think I'd have no more need of a strategy. Sorry moms of little ones, but I'm finding these may be the trickiest years of all. Along with loving and listening and praying a lot, I'm learning there's something else needed in my 'war chest' -

Don't say everything I think.

Raise your hand if you have 20-somethings in your life and you find that last bit really hard. I'm raising my hand. I find that to be harder than negotiating boundaries with a toddler, settling a sleep- over dispute amongst tweens, or explaining to my teen for the 15th time why perception matters.

Daughter2 is finishing up her college career now but daughter1 has graduated and is out in the working world. She has her own apartment, car insurance, weekend plans and money. She does a good job in balancing her life and I try to resist tweaking it. I'm afraid I don't always succeed. See paragraph above.

One piece of advice I give my young adult children is this-set goals and then make a plan to meet those goals. Strategize. Yes, sometimes plans will need adjusting or even tossing out, but rolling thru life with no plan doesn't mean life won't happen. It just means you may not have the life you want. And every now and then God opens an unexpected door and you'll need a new plan. Re-strategize. Listen a lot, love a lot, pray a lot.

I'm not a 20-something but I am trying to follow my own advice.

Questions for the Wednesday Hodgepodge-Vol 51

Here are the questions for this week's Wednesday Hodgepodge. Everyone is welcome to play along...answer the questions on your own blog or fb page and then come back tomorrow (Wednesday) to add your link and visit the neighbors.

1. Who taught you how to cook?

2. Have you been told you think too much? Are too much of a perfectionist? Are too sensitive? Were they right?

3. As a child did you have a favorite blanket or toy? Tell about it.

4. What 'institution' do you have the most faith in?

5. Chrysanthemums-pansies-burning bush-ornamental cabbage...your favorite in an autumn garden?

6. What superpower do the kids in your neighborhood seem to posses?

7. Are you a fan of the cranberry?

8. Insert your own random thought here.

Seriously Ridiculous

So, did you hear we had a little something called SNOW!! this past weekend? I don't even know where to begin.

A British co-worker of my hubs who resides in the UK will be relocating to our area in January. January! Bless them. His lovely wife has only been in the US once or twice, never for any extended period of time, and I'd never met either of them until this weekend. They were in town to do some house hunting and we had plans to meet for dinner on Saturday night.

Welcome to NJ!

Where a foot and a half of snow falls before the end of October.

Yes we had a foot and a half of snow this weekend...didn't you?

The predicted snowfall started mid morning Saturday and when I say it was snowing I mean it was SNOWING!! Those caps and exclamation points are obnoxious I know, but so was the SNOW!! It absolutely poured all the live long day and on into the night. We, along with the entire population of our little town, had popped into the brand new supermarket to pick up a few things on Saturday morning. Coincidentally the brand new supermarket just so happened to be hosting their grand opening celebration that morning too. Timing people. Snowstorms and grand openings make for quite the mix.

As we came out of the market and made our way home, literally just a few miles, hubs and I decided we best call the co-worker and his wife in their hotel and have them come on over early. They were staying about 20 minutes away, were in a rental car, not accustomed to driving on the right side of the road, and did I tell you it was SNOWING!? Hubs suggested they pack a bag. Good thinking hubs!

Their realtor had naturally cancelled the house hunt trip scheduled for Saturday...after all, she needed to be shoveling and plowing and clearing downed trees like the rest of us, so they made their way to our house and we hung out in my kitchen most of the afternoon. Every few minutes one or both of them would walk to the windows and say, "I just can't believe this."

We know.

We can hardly believe it ourselves and we live here.

I did my best to reassure the Mrs. that this was not typical weather for an October Saturday in Northern NJ and I think she mostly believed me. I did add though, that since they'll be arriving in January this is the sort of weather they'll see then. Good to know what you're getting in to, right?

Maybe.

Moving house is always a bit nerve wracking but moving country really amps up the fear factor. Being greeted by a foot of snow in October does not exactly help calm those fears.

We ended up venturing out to a nearby restaurant for an early dinner. Another couple who live nearby were meeting us too and we had a wonderful meal by the fireplace in a lovely local spot. Afterwards they came back to our house and spent the night since there was no way they were getting out anywhere.

We awoke Sunday morning to a crystal clear blue cloudless sky. In general the day after a storm is gorgeous and Sunday was no exception. Well, unless you count stuff like this.

Yes that is a giant tree felled by the weight of wet heavy snow. Conveniently it fell across our front walkway. And that's just one we lost or may lose. Ugh. We drove around town and the damage from this storm looks far worse than what we had during the recent hurricane. There were trees and power lines down everywhere you looked...thousands are still without power today and in fact, area schools are closed here. In October. Due to snow.

We took our guests on a little tour of the town on Sunday...can't have them thinking it's all work and no play living here, can we?

We walked out onto the boardwalk by the lake and saw that someone had gotten creative during the storm. It takes a lot of snow to make a snowman this big people!

I posted pics on my facebook and several friends have asked if its all melted today. Uh, no. It is melting but we still have plenty hanging around.

And in spite of what it looks like outside today is Halloween. That day when little munchkins don costumes and parade from house to house asking ever so sweetly for candy. We have a little problem though-

It's called a tree blocking the sidewalk to our front door.

No worries...

Hubs got a little bit creative too.