An at home version of The Melting Pot

So it's Friday and we don't have any special weekend plans. Well other than not cooking tonite but that's not really a special plan. That's more like a standing order. I never cook on Friday nights, house rule. I think it's been in place since 1984. It's been in place long enough that if my husband comes home to find me cooking on a Friday night he is disappointed. He loves my cooking but he enjoys going out to dinner too, especially on Friday nights. This quality always goes onto my mental list of things I love about my husband whenever I feel the need to make a mental list of such things. If you know what I mean.

On Fridays we generally go someplace low key, maybe our local Italian restaurant or more often our local pub. Did I tell you we have a pub in our little town? It isn't exactly like our favorite pubs in the UK but there are similarities which we love. For one thing it's old. The building is on the list of National Historic Landmarks and was built I think in 1927. It has wood beams and a low ceiling and the tables are just a teensy bit crowded together. And they are friendly and already know us which is nice. The food is pub like too....no steak and kidney pie but they do hamburgers and fish and chips and a few more substantial dishes. It's fun, kinda like a hangout.

Anyway, back to my not cooking. Last Friday night I made an exception and actually we all cooked...we made fondue and it was scrumptious. The daughters bought the dad two fondue sets for Christmas...one is strictly for chocolate. He loved the gift because when we eat fondue we all think of happy ski trips to Austria and France. When it comes to cheese and chocolate France gets an A+. Lets see...how many times have I mentioned French cheese on my blog in the course of a year? I'm thinking more than a few. It's highly deserving though so I'll probably bring it up a few hundred more times before we're through.

Fondue is a fun family thing...it's casual and relaxed and we had such a nice time talking and laughing and remembering and of course tasting. We started with cheese fondue using the recipe found here.

We cut a loaf of French bread into cubes for dipping and we also sliced some Granny Smith apples which tasted really good in the cheese. We had some champagne too because I'm pretty sure when you eat French food you need champagne. We ate a lot of cheese and afterwards we all felt the need to play a little Wii and pretend to burn calories with some pretend sports. Incidentally, can you throw your shoulder out fake bowling because I totally did something to my shoulder that night? After our 'workout' we were ready for the dessert fondue. It was chocolate and it was heavenly. We used the Ghiradelli Ultimate Chocolate Fondue recipe which you can find here. You're welcome.

We cut a buttery pound cake into cubes for dipping along with bananas, strawberries and pineapple. The fruit was good but the cake was my favorite. Big surprise I know.

It all felt very celebratory and I think if someone mentions fondue now I'll not only think France...I'll think New Jersey too.

And I'll think about my family happy and relaxed at our kitchen table...sharing fondue, talking and laughing and making new memories in our new home in a brand new year.

Enjoy your weekend!

General folderol

Don't you just love that word? It means nonsensical talk or writing so don't say I didn't warn you. I have two fun things to tell you about today the first being this...I won something! Yay! It's a book and is part of a blog carnival called I Win You Win hosted this month by Amy at All Things Ro. The carnival was started by Robin several months ago and the prize is a copy of the book Sisterchicks in Wooden Shoes by Robin Jones Gunn. Here is how the whole thing started....and I'll let Robin tell it (and I mean Robin the blogger, not Robin the author)...

'As I finished the book up the other day I began to think about the two women the story centers around. The story begins with two pen pals in elementary school and they continue with their friendship for many, many years through letters and emails, but they have never actually met, not until things change for the main character. Her life takes an unexpected turn and she finds herself face to face with her long time pen pal. I began to think of the similarities between the two women in the book and all of you, my fellow bloggers. As members of this unique internet community we enter into each other lives as we read each others posts, as we comment, share encouraging words or just a well needed giggle now and then. But what I enjoyed as I read this book was the depiction of the friendship these two women shared. They had been intimately involved in each others lives but had never been in the same room with each other, never shared a cup of coffee over the kitchen table, never wept in each other arms. Yet they still shared in the deep bonds of friendship. The relationship the two women in this book have is a real friendship, as real as friendships get. I found the similarities between the book and the blogosphere to almost mirror each other."

Now, here is where the fun begins. Robin had the wonderful idea to 'share' the book. I think I'm the fifth person to read it and winning comes with a few responsibilities which are-

• Read the book (preferably within a 4 week period of time)
• As I read the book I am to make notes in the margin or on a favorite chapter of the book.
• When I'm finished write the date and my blog address on the inside of the front cover. I can also tuck in a book mark as a small gift or even a surprise gift card or some other small prize but I'm supposed to have fun with it.
• When I'm through I'll put the book on my blog and continue the “I Won You Won" giveaway. Then you'll have a chance to win and keep the sisterhood of the traveling book going...watch for that post in the next few weeks.

The next bit of fun is for NOW....I am approaching my blogaversary. Is that word in Webster's? I think not. Anyway, I hit 'publish post' for the very first time on January 21, 2009 and I think that calls for a little celebration don't you? I'm not too techie and I use too many words so I'm going to keep it simple...leave a comment on any post I write between now and January 20th and mention my blogaversary. You will then be eligible to win fabulous prizes. Not really. But there will at least be a prize and I will try to make it fabulous. I like big adjectives though (note my overuse of the word spectacular) so fabulous may be a relative term. I will for sure drop your name in the hat for a chance to win something 'good'. And of course I will be using a hat as opposed to one of those random integer generators because I think I just told you I'm quite the techie. Let's also say if you link to my blog in any of your posts between now and January 20th I'll drop your name in the hat twice, once for commenting and once for the link. And....you lurkers...if you de-lurk and become a real life honest to goodness follower of my blog you'll be entered twice too. Lurkers need encouragement y'all.

I will close the comments at 6 am Eastern Standard Time on January 21, 2010 (ooooh so official!) I'm sure I'll mention this at least 42 times once or twice on my blog between now and the BIG DAY so stay tuned.

Whew! Who knew planning a party was so exhausting?

The Random Continues in 2010

A couple of serious posts this week so today its time for a little bit of fun…come play! Answer the questions on your own blog and then hop over to Linda's to link your answers.

1. When was the last time you craved a food--what was it, and did you cave?

Christmas chex mix…of course I caved. I have no willpower. I did however dig deep for enough self-discipline to toss the remains last week. I thought twice about it but like I said, if its within arms reach I’ll eat it so it had to go. Oh and I linked to the recipe in this post in case you have never experienced the deliciousness that is Christmas Chex Mix.

2. M & M's or Skittles?

Do you really need to ask? M & M’s of course. Preferably peanut.

3. Have you ever read the Bible completely through?

No. I tried last year but it became quite stressful so I shifted gears. I was getting all hung up on missing a day here and there to the point that I was missing the whole big picture. My bible has a plan in the back and I quite often follow that so I’ve read most of the Bible through but some days I just needed a Psalm or to read a familiar passage. I think it's an admirable goal but I haven’t managed it yet.

4. How long does it take you to really wake up in the morning?

Couple of seconds. Seriously. I’m a total morning person which I realize is obnoxious to the non –morning types, some of whom may or may not live in my house.

5. Have you ever been on a cruise? If not, would you like to?

No. I have a little something called motion sickness. Cruise lovers always try to convince me I could do it but I know my limitations. I love to travel though so put me on a plane or in a car and I’m good. Well, as long as I remember the Dramamine I’m good.

6. Who is your favorite actress?

Loving Sandra Bullock these days.

7. ______ is something that I will just never understand.

um. Obama. Oooh...a little politics thrown into the random. Sorry/you're welcome.

8. How much of a technology junkie are you?

I like technology and definitely appreciate the convenience of technology until it doesn’t work and then I hate technology. And figuring out new technology does not come naturally to me but as long as I have children to pester for help then I do okay. Oh and I’m not someone who has to have the latest gadget. My family had to literally pry my old phone out of my hands for the upgrade. Once I upgrade though I fall in love with the new product and won’t want to let go of that when its time either.

9. Do you enjoy selecting greeting cards for people, or is it more of a cultural "have to" for you?

I love cards….love choosing them, writing in them, posting them, receiving them. Next question.

10. When was the last time you got a new style/haircut?

Kind of in July. I say kind of because it’s supposed to be my old cut just with the new stylist. He’s almost got it right and he did match the color to perfection so I can’t complain too much. I like this guy. I don’t love him like I loved my girl in the UK but I have thick hair with a natural wave in the back and lots of it. He’s done an excellent job at not making me cry. All my hairdressers complain of carpal tunnel when they finish drying my hair. And may I just say that I have moved many times in my life and finding a new hair dresser rates right up there in the top three most stressful aspects of the whole deal?

11. What do you enjoy shopping for most?

Shoes. Or pottery. Preferably Italian. And preferably shopped for in Italy.

12. What's the last thing you think of before you leave the house?

Did I turn off the iron/stove/coffeemaker? Did I set the alarm? Don’t ask me how many times I’ve left the house and returned to double check one of the above knowing perfectly well there is no need because that would be a whole ‘nother post and would I’m sure require some pretty deep analysis.

A not so blurry line

Let me preface this post by saying that you just never know what you're going to get here. Sometimes I write about travel, sometimes I write about the empty nest or parenting daughters or living in England or food or any number of random topics. In other words I haven't exactly defined my blog content. One of the reasons I started blogging is because I like to write. And I'd like to be a better writer which is why I told myself I was going to participate in the one word blog carnival more regularly in 2010. Every two weeks Bridget and Peter host a one word blog carnival where you can link a post relating to the selected word of the week. And this week the word on the blog carnival is lust. Yeah.

I only participated a couple of times back in the fall but I really enjoy reading the posts every two weeks and I encourage you to go here and read this week's posts. So many talented writers and it is amazing how many different directions people can go with just one word. I'm thinking this week maybe not so many but I might be wrong. And I thought about not participating but that seemed chicken. I thought, 'Does this word ever have a positive connotation?''

Nope. Don't think so. At least I couldn't come up with one. It takes me back to highschool youth group talks...'Is it love or is it lust?' We didn't care truth be told because lust does that. Lust blinds us to reality and consequence. It puts the focus on the me instead of on the you. Where a relationship built on love asks, "What can I do for you?" a relationship based on lust asks, "What can I get from you?"

As I thought about this week's word the phrase lust for power kept running thru my brain. And the phrase lust for power makes me immediately think about our government. I'm sure many of our senators and representatives went to Washington DC with the noblest of intentions. They truly wanted to represent their neighbors and community... to give something back to a country that has afforded them so much. But a little taste of power ignites a lust for more. And that lust causes them to forget why they ever went in the first place. Or to ignore and excuse and justify behavior. Lust brings out all kinds of loveliness in we humans doesn't it?

I thought I'd go to the authority on this particular topic and while the Bible has plenty to say on the topic of lust there is no 'lust chapter' that I'm aware of. There is however a love chapter (1 Corinthians 13) a portion of which goes like this...

'Love is patient

and kind

love does not envy

or boast

is not arrogant or rude

It does not insist on its own way

it is not irritable or resentful

it does not rejoice at wrong doing but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.'

And lust is exactly the opposite.

One of the things I like about the blog carnival is the way it makes me think just a little bit harder. Once I've seen the word for the week it rolls around my brain and I am more observant of life...my own and also what is happening around me. I don't know if you watch The Bachelor but we do...it's a bit like watching a train wreck in slow motion and as we watched last night I couldn't help but think about this week's word. Reality television and lust seem to go hand in hand and as I watch I'm struck by the easy way the word love is tossed around. Love is easy? The line between love and lust is a little bit blurry in the world of reality television it seems. Actually it's a little bit blurry in the real world too. Lust is easy. But love? Not always easy.

My favorite verse in Chapter 13 is this...Love bears all things...all things...like mortgage payments, vomiting children, in -laws, leaky faucets and dead car batteries to name just a few. While lust sits on the surface of life, love goes deep. It sits squarely in the center of life's everyday-ness. Love requires commitment and thought and effort. It requires doing the hard thing when you don't feel like it. It requires showing up. It requires selflessness.

It fills you up. It seeps into all you are and hope to be. Love's demands are great.

So are love's rewards.

We Are Family

We took the girls to the airport this afternoon. Let me just tell you that is no fun at all. And you can't help but notice other families milling around the terminal seemingly in the same boat. Its pretty easy to recognize the parent of a college student in an airport following a holiday....they are trying hard not to cry. It's also easy to recognize the college students... they are trying hard not to smile. Oh I know mine love me and love being home but after 3 1/2 weeks they are ready to get back to school and friends and normal daily life.

When my kids were in highschool and began the college search my thoughts always centered on 'them'...the kids. What would they become in those college years. How would they handle the opportunities and the challenges? I imagined the college years would be a time for my daughters to grow in confidence and become women connected to, but independent of, their mother. Who knew the college years would also be about me? How would I handle the opportunities and the challenges?

For sure my girls have become more confident and definitely more independent since heading off to university but the road to that independence started long before they left for college. It began the day they took their first step, maybe even with that first short crawl. Independence is a process and it happens in baby steps that are so small you don't see them as they are happening. And then one day you look back and think, wow, my child is growing up. By the time my firstborn baby boarded a plane for South Carolina and left us crying a continent away, well I'd say she was well on her way to independence.

Me though? Not so much. I was defined in large part by my role as a mother and while that will never end it does change. While my children were growing in their independence my love for them was growing too...bigger and deeper and more every minute of every day. It's natural for children to begin making their own decisions, holding their own opinions, establishing their own lives. But that doesn't feel natural to the parent. Our instincts when it comes to our children have always been to hold and protect and our lives have become more joined with every passing year. It has been in these college years that I have come face to face with the fact that my children are in fact adults. I don't think this means they don't need me anymore. I'm long past the college years myself but I still turn to my mother for advice, comfort and wisdom and I think and hope my girls will do the same. But I also recognize that these babies I've raised are people now. Grown people who will love and sorrow, succeed and fail, continue to grow and change and become all that God intends for them to be for the rest of their lives. Just like me.

This house that has felt so full for the past month feels very quiet tonite. In fact it feels bare. Where there were kids lounging on a sofa there is just a blanket that needs folding.. sheets that were slept on (for hours and hours and hours) are now in the washing machine.. two places were set for dinner...two instead of four. That sounds a little bit sad and if I'm honest I'll admit that it is. And that's okay. Because tonite I am also feeling thankful. Thankful for every happy memory, for family meals and conversation, for bedtime hugs, for secrets shared...for the way our lives are intertwined forever and for always no matter how far we travel or how old we grow.

You say you want a resolution

Bloggers are linking their New Year's Resolutions for 2010 over on Kelly's Korner today. I thought I'd add mine...

I wrote a little bit here about setting some goals for the new year. Like most people I have a few things on my list relating to healthy habits and organization, projects to complete...typical New Years stuff. I see those projects as a sort of to-do list...things to accomplish in 2010. They will certainly make me a healthier and better organized person so I'll absolutely be working to accomplish those goals but I feel like the word resolution goes a little bit deeper.

I've made just two 'resolutions' to really focus on in this new year-

1. Let the law of kindness reign in my home. The word kindness has been dancing around my brain in recent weeks and when I read the prayer posted here I knew I wanted to adopt 'the law of kindness' as my #1 resolution for 2010. I love the quote by Mother Teresa that says, "Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile." And the 'no one' should include my own family.

2. I've joined in a 31 Day Challenge here, the goal of which is to read the Book of Proverbs during the month of January. 31 Chapters in 31 days so it works out nicely. I've read Proverbs at various times in my life but it seems particularly fitting at the beginning of this new year. I need to know what it is I should be doing with my life. Wow. That sounds huge. And I feel like it is. Because I am at a crossroads of sorts. After an eventful year centered around an International move I'm feeling pretty much at home in our new house and town. I am now longing for purpose and am praying God opens a door for me and makes that purpose clear. I want wisdom in the year 2010.

In the second chapter of Proverbs Solomon says, "...if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments...making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding, yes if you call out for insight...and search for it like hidden treasures ..then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God."

Kindness and wisdom in 2010...it would even make a pretty good bumper sticker don't ya think?

Sweatin' with the oldies

Yesterday daughter2 joined me in my workout. I'm still trying to decide how I feel about that. Here's how it went...

I wake up at the crack of dawn. I get out of bed and drink approximately 347 cups of coffee. I check email. I have more coffee. I write a blog post. I have more coffee. I give myself a little pep talk about why I need to get the exercise clothes on and just do it! I pull on my workout pants, a t-shirt, a pair of socks and a fleece. Because it's cold in my house in the early morning. And it's now only about 7:15. And Daughter2 is snoozing all snug in her bed.

Naturally.

We had settled on the time of 10 am to meet up with Jillian so I have hours to fill...I read today's chapter in Proverbs, I straighten up the family room, I make my bed, I load the dishwasher-loudly-thinking maybe just maybe daughter2 will wake up if she hears a little commotion, yeah right. I take the dog out, I pay some bills online, I read some blogs, I may drink more coffee. I call my mother. I wait. I look in daughter's room to make sure she's still sleeping. As if there were any doubt. I wait some more.

At 10:30 I roust the troops...Daughter2 grumbles and mumbles and I think she's not going to actually meet me in the family room but in a matter of about 60 seconds she has bounced into the room. She looks adorable...she is wearing shorts, a t-shirt, socks and tennis shoes. And she has her water bottle because she's serious like Jillian when it comes to working out. And her hair is all cute and bouncy in a pony tail. Did I mention my hair...yeah, well it's not cute and bouncy.

So we are finally ready. She presses play on the DVD when I notice I'm not wearing any shoes.

'Mooooom!'

Oops...pause please while I get my tennis shoes which are in the garage which is f-ree-zing.

'Ready now' ?

'Yes'.

'Mom...you're wearing a fleece. And pants. You're going to burn up'.

(And there may have been a slight roll of the eyes).

I take off the fleece but I inform her that I'm keeping the sweat pants. Now I'm really ready. Wait. Before we get started I need to run to the loo. Hey, I'm all about keeping it real people. And if you're over 40 reading here then I don't need to explain...but if you're under forty let's just say that women over 40 were not really meant to be doing jumping jacks. Or actually jumping for any reason. And daughter2 cringes when I explain this to her.

Moving on....because as Daughter2 tells me in a tone that sounds a lot like scolding, 'Mom, you're not going to get in the kind of shape you want to be in if you don't do the exercises'. Isn't she sweet? She's like my own little
Marine Corps drill seargentpersonal trainer.

We do the warm up. And I'm already hot and I don't mean this in a good way. I turn the ceiling fan on to superfast. Did I mention daughter1? She is sitting on the couch. Watching. She's on vacation and apparently a workout with Jillian was not on her agenda for the day. She is freezing because I have the ceiling fan going 100 miles an hour. She's wrapped in a blanket. Blogging. I think watching me exercise must be inspiring.

Anyway, there are a lot of great reasons to exercise with your college aged children but I'm not going to list them here. I want to talk about the downside which is this...you're working out, it's hard stuff but you're keeping up and you think you're doing great. You're feeling proud of yourself. You're on the floor holding that plank, doing those crunches...really pushing yourself. And you glance over at your daughter to say hey, look at us, aren't we amazing? But as you glance over to speak what you see are some seriously perfect abs. Abs that look remarkably like some you once possessed. Which you no longer do thanks in part to birthing the child with the perfect abs. And her sister who also has perfect abs even though she sits on the couch watching us work out. And the passing of a couple of decades. And gravity. And too much English cream. Sigh. I think about just collapsing out of that plank flat on my face and having a little pity party. But I don't.

Because daughter2 is nothing if not a cheerleader. And she tells me this is hard. And I did good. And we'll do this again tomorow. And I'm wishing that she were here to be my 'Jillian' every day. She's just as tough but way more fun. And cute. Did I mention the cute?