The random in which I may overuse the phrase "it depends"

Join the weekly random hosted by Linda every Wednesday at 2^nd cup of coffee. The more the merrier…answer the questions on your blog and link here to share. Here are mine this week-

1. Are you pleasant when you're ill, or are you a grumpy, fussy patient?

It depends…do I have a cold or the stomach flu? I’m not fussy but I don’t think pleasant is the right word either. If I have the stomach flu just please go away. Otherwise I'm happy to accept your tlc.

2. When you find out that school is canceled (due to inclement weather) what is your gut reaction?

It depends…am I a kid? Then I’m ecstatic. Am I the parent of a kid in school? Then I’m ecstatic the first couple of days and alrighty, time to go back to school so I can tackle the laundry mountain and restock the frig. Am I an empty nester? Hey hubs... remember skiing in the back yard with daughter1 standing on your skis? Remember when the girls would do a snow dance and go to bed with their pjs inside out hoping for a snow day? Remember building snow forts? Remember the cul de sac snow party? Remember...

3. What is one domestic skill you wish you could improve?

Ironing. My husband excels at this particular task so he's the designated ironer I don’t feel an urgent need to improve.

4. Do you decorate your home for Valentine's Day?

No.

5. What song is on your mind today?

By Your Side - Tenth Avenue North

6. Do you prefer contemporary movies or classic?

It depends…I like both. I choose movies based on my mood and who might be watching with me.

7. How well do you "compartmentalize" your feelings? For example, how well can you put aside a really trying moment to deal with the immediate situation which is not related to the trying moment, e.g., putting aside a tiff with your spouse in order to finish wallpapering a room.

Compartmentalizing is my middle name.

8. What is the first thing that attracted you to your spouse? (Or if you're single, to your best friend.)

He made me laugh. He had a twinkle in his eye. He was oh so very preppy.

9. When was the last time your heart raced?

Uh, that would be yesterday morning…just as the door closed behind me and I realized my keys were locked in the house. Good thing I blogged about patience yesterday or the day could have turned ugly pretty fast.

10. What are your memories of Valentine's Day at school?

Bringing in a shoebox decorated to serve as a ‘mailbox’, choosing valentine cards, delivering cards to friends ‘shoeboxes’, and trying to read meaning into conversation hearts.

11. If you were going to receive candy for Valentine's Day, which would you prefer?

Chocolate. Very good chocolate. It can be combined with coconut or peanut butter or nuts but the chocolate has to be good.

12. Red or pink?

It depends. If we’re talking paint then I like red. My kitchen is painted a dark red and I love it. If we’re talking peonies or lingerie I like soft pink. I like red and pink both when it comes to my wardrobe. And if we’re talking Gerbera daisies then hot pink makes me smile.

When Daddy let me drive

Today's post is part of the One Word Blog Carnival...hop over to Bridget's to read more posts on this weeks word-patience.

I like to think I’m a patient person and I think most people who know me would characterize me as such. It takes a lot to get me upset and I tend to see life’s glass as always half full. My daughter will say however, that I lacked patience when she was learning to drive and she may be more than a little bit right.

"Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you but not in the one ahead." Bill McGlashen

Let me back up and say that my kids did not drive at 16 like most American teenagers. We were living in the UK during their highschool years and they walked into town or rode trains or I drove them around. The roads were narrow, the car parks and spaces scary small, and the insurance costs astronomical. Consequently both of my girls were in college before they had a US license and for that I am grateful.

When Daughter1 started university her American friends could not believe that she didn’t drive or even have a license. Nor did she have a license her sophomore year. How she managed to reach the ripe old age of 20 without a license was beyond comprehension. She lived on campus and had friends with cars and she sometimes didn’t do whatever it was she wanted at that moment because she didn’t have a car at her disposal and it was sometimes a pain but she managed. In fact, we liked to say it helped grow patience. She might not agree.

The summer before Daughter1’s junior year of college we made the executive decision to spend some concentrated time getting her road ready. And making ourselves road ready too because that’s a key component in the process of successfully launching a kid driver. We flew to the states that August, rented a house for two weeks and bought the child without a license a car. Sounds crazy I know but she couldn’t practice on a rental so yeah, we did a few things out of order.

Daughter1 is pure sweetness. She has been easy from day one and has a sense of calm about her that I love and admire. And as I said I have a fairly deep well of patience…husband maybe not so much but he tries and he does love this child to pieces, which goes a long way in making him extra patient with her.

All that to say, holy moly was this process ever awful. The child dug her heels in and the parents dug their heels in and there was yelling and crying and did I mention there was yelling? Daughter2 put her headphones in, closed her eyes and slunk down in the back seat pretending she didn’t know any of us. She said she’d find someone else to teach her to drive when the time came. Where was patience? Well, all I can say is it flew out the window with the first turn of the key.

It’s funny that when I saw the word for this week’s blog carnival the whole ugly learning to drive fiasco was my first thought. And as I’ve been thinking about that nightmare two weeks I recognize a few mistakes in our thinking.

We were all excited about the process at first. We never thought it would be anything less than a couple of weeks of happy driving. Daughter is smart. She’s coordinated. She did take a few lessons in England where she had learned to maneuver without difficulty a manual car whose steering wheel sat on the right while driving on the left hand side of the road so how hard could this be? We thought we would be encouraging her with great job! and way to go! while she did exactly as we instructed and in the end she would pass her test with flying colors.

Right. It didn’t start off well and went downhill fast. Thinking back I’m still a little bit amazed (and ashamed) at the speed and depth of my impatience. We were giving instructions and she seemed to be ignoring us. And of course the fact that we were in a moving vehicle contributed to our sense of anxiety but I was surprised at my impatience. And my anger. Because often one leads to the other.

"A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel."

Proverbs 15:18

There’s a bit of wisdom I wish we had tapped into on those hot August days. I allowed someone else to define my behavior. Oh what parent hasn’t had that thought and a feeling of regret to go with it? Actually what person hasn’t had that thought? My ability to feel patience was completely dependent on my daughter behaving exactly as I expected her to behave. She didn’t. If you ask her I’m sure she’ll say I didn’t behave exactly as expected either.

"Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength." Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

Most of us have heard it said you should be careful when praying for patience...that when you pray for patience God will throw difficulties your way to help make you more patient. I don’t think that’s quite how He operates. Life is full of big and small challenges for everyone on a fairly regular basis. I don’t think we necessarily learn patience while sitting smack in the middle of difficult, aggravating or just plain annoying situations but I do know that's when we need it. Once I started down the path of impatience it seemed nearly impossible to change direction. But that wasn't so.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control….”Galatians 5:22-23

My daughter did pass her driving test. And she forgave me. Her sister passed too one year later...with much cooler tempers and far more encouragement I might add. God in His goodness has given me everything I need to respond to life’s circumstances in a way that honors Him. Why wouldn't I ask for a heaping measure when I need it the most?

My Highlight Reel

In honor of the big game I thought I'd be all NFL- like and give you my weekend highlight reel. It was pretty quiet here ...we were supposed to be snowed in on Saturday but not a flake fell. Not a single solitary flake. None. The hubs flew to South Carolina Friday evening to buy a car for Daughter 2. Let's take a moment and look at this from another angle...

hubs got to spend the weekend with the daughters

daughter2 took possession of her very first car

hubs and daughters 1 and 2 had a lovely meal in an Indian restaurant

and me?

I was home in my pajamas cleaning and organizing my pantry, kitchen cabinets, refrigerator and freezer.

Something is very very wrong with that picture.

Back to my highlight reel...husband got lucky and was put on an earlier flight Sunday so he arrived home before the pre-game pre-game pre-game show. I made yummy pulled pork bbq and peanut butter heath bar cookies so it felt superbowlish even though it was just the two of us in our pjs on the couch rooting for the Colts who did not win btw.

Who thought there were too many commercials in the Superbowl?

Who was not impressed with said commercials?

Who did not see the big deal about the Tim Tebow ad?

Who thought Carrie Underwood belted out the National Anthem without so much as a hiccup?

Who thought she was completely in touch with her Country Western Singer self in that outfit?

Who felt proud to see the troops standing at attention on a military base half a world away?

Who thought if they heard the words Dorito and Bud Light one more time they might scream?

Who wished they were in warm and sunny Miami?

Who thought Pete and Roger were showing their age just a wee bit?

Who thought the halftime light show and lasers were very cool?

Who thought it was ironic that a British band who doesn't really love American football was playing the halftime show at the Superbowl?

Who thought the drummer looked young enough to be Pete's grandson?

Who has a husband who wants to play the drums?

Who still loves the song Teenage Wasteland?

Who wanted to yell do-over when the Saints pulled off that crazy onside kick?

Who wanted to cry when Peyton threw that interception?

Who appreciated the tone and the polite comments made by the Colts coach after the game?

Who thought Drew Brees standing teary eyed holding his positively adorable baby boy was one of the sweetest moments on tv in recent memory?

Who is sorry to say goodbye to the NFL for the season?

Who hates the fact that she has to go to the dentist today?

oh wait...

that'll be next weeks reel.

It was like totally awesome

My daughters are going to an event this weekend called 80's Prom. I think it's really just an excuse to dress in all the timeless fashion trends of that decade.

This picture is from last year's party. Daughter1 is wearing jellies. And I'm pretty sure I had a dress just like the one she's modeling. That's daughter2 rockin' the 80s hair and the blue eyeshadow. Maybelline ruled the 80's makeup aisle.

When they returned to uni after Christmas daughter2 took one of my old bridesmaid dresses home with her to possibly alter and wear this year. Let me just tell ya...I wore a whole lotta bridesmaid dresses in the 1980s. In 1984 alone my husband and I were in 10 weddings. Pretty much everyone we knew got married that year, including us. That was an expensive summer but we didn't worry too much about something as silly as money back then. We didn't give a lot of thought to a future filled with exorbitant college tuition fees for children yet to be born, mortgages, retirement, or any of those other pesky things the financial planner blabbed on and on about...that was for the far off future and we were blissfully in the present.

I've been looking through my umpteen piles of photographs in my attempt to organize here and I came across a few pictures from that decade. Not too many because for one thing hello, no digital cameras and for also, I think I mentioned I have a box or fifty to look through.

A few things stand out in my mind from those years...

I was young.

I was in college.

I was incredibly thin.

And incredibly tan.

(Girls-do not do this to your skin. Your 40 year old selves will thank me.)

I had alot of hair.

Not a single strand was gray.

I loved a boy.

I still do.

I graduated.

I got my first real world job.

I got married.

I loved my dress.

Totally.

Hubs had a mustache.

And a grin.

He still has the grin.

I moved.

Had to live where hubs job took him.

Keep that thought handy.

I got a new job.

Loved that one too.

Apartment life.

The tv sat on a wooden crate.

We had a washer and dryer.

Which made me very happy.

There was no internet.

Anywhere.

We moved. Again.

Are you seeing a pattern?

I got another new job.

Yep I loved it.

I wore a lot of scrunchies.

And jeans belted at the waist.

Which was tiny by the way.

And was the style of the day.

High waisted jeans. Ewww.

We bought a house.

I felt grown up.

We made a home.

I wore blouses with shoulder pads.

seriously?

And bows at the neckline.

Hello teacher.

My hair was still its God given color.

We moved.

Yes again.

While seven months pregnant.

I gained 17 pounds. Total.

My doctor told me to have a milkshake every night.

I miss some things about the 80's.

I had a baby.

My hair promptly turned a darker shade of brown.

But dark brown is not gray.

A six pound blue eyed blonde stole my heart.

Forever.

Sweetness and light.

My job is this.

God is good.

The 90's were looming.

So were my 30's.

We moved again.

To New Jersey.

Like now except it was before.

Never say never.

Where we love is home.

A good lesson to learn.

One I'll remember.

Definitely a grown up now.

Coffee With the Neighbors

Well, that's kind of what this feels like every week. I’ve been participating in Linda's random dozen for a few months now and it’s a comfy place to be on Wednesdays. Why not answer the questions on your own blog and join the party? Don’t forget to link your answers here. And apologies if this post published more than once today...I had mysterious issues with photobucket.

I also feel the need to add that this week's questions are off the charts in their randomness. I'm not alone in that thought am I?

1. Do you use the labels various charities send you as “free gifts?”

This is a bit of a pet peeve of mine. Not so much the labels but the ones that actually send me a nickel or dime taped to the page with the labels. How many of those are they sending out? In my mind this just does not demonstrate fiscal responsibility in a charity. Dimes add up to dollars and a dollar can do a lot in many parts of this world.

Stepping off the soap box now and back into the random...my answer is no.

2. What is your favorite time of day (or night) for skywatching?

Early early morning…I love the sunrise.

3. What is the most adventurous you've ever been with trying a new food? (Keep it G-rated please)

G-rated? Huh?

Everyone in my house is pretty adventurous in trying new foods both at home and in our travels. Most recently I guess I would say a raw oyster, pulled right out of the water on Prince Edward Island, shucked on the dory by the oysterman and popped straight into my mouth. It was fantastic in case you are wondering. You can read my post here if you want to see the photographic evidence and also get an up close and personal look at the pores in my face. (Thanks for that Mr. Cameraman) There isn’t much in the way of food I won’t try…my husband had barnacles when he was in Asia and he said it was a little bit like eating toenails. I’m not too keen to try that but if custom required it I would eat them with a smile.

4. Have you ever heard a rock sing? (Trust me, there's a reason for this one!)

Obviously there is a hidden meaning here but I’m clueless as to what that might be. No I’ve never heard a rock sing.

5. If you could learn a language you don't presently speak, what would it be?

Italian. I always wanted to be able to yell in Italian.

6. Al Capone's tombstone read, “My Jesus, Mercy.” If you could write your own epitaph, what would it say?

To quote Erma Bombeck- ‘ She used everything He gave her’.

7. If you were a famous musician who was known by one name, like “Cher,” “Sting,” or “Jewel,” what would it be? It doesn’t have to be your first name, but it can be, if you’d like.

I just don’t know about the questions this week. Hmmm….JoJo? It’s a nickname so maybe.

8. Have you ever been inordinately “into” a television show?

24, especially the first season. We have always watched it on DVD because who could possibly wait an entire week to discover the fate of the free world.

9. When you sneeze, do you go big, or do you do that weird “heenh!” sound that makes people think you’re going to blow your brains out? Any other variation we should know about?

I think I fall somewhere in the middle.

10. Do you still read an actual newspaper that you hold in your hands, or do you get your news elsewhere?

I watch the news and I also read some online but I still like a real newspaper, especially on Sundays. My favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon is lay on the couch after church and nap read the paper.

11. Are you a good speller?

yes

12. At what time each day do you start thinking about Lost lunch?

Around 11. If I don’t break into the m & m’s by 11 then I’m good until whenever for lunch.

Try a little kindness

Did you notice that the calendar turned to February yesterday? Because I didn't. This is one of the problems that comes with an empty nest. My life is not dictated by my calendar like it was when I had children at home and lived by a more rigid schedule. Anyway, it is now February. You're welcome. I think to have an interesting blog you need to have a mildly interesting life. Things have not been terribly interesting around here lately, mostly because it is too cold to do much more than wrap up in a warm blanket while sipping hot cocoa or warm soup while daydreaming about island breezes and sand between your toes. I think you see where I'm headed with this thought....straight to a post about nothing interesting.

Today Dr. Phil saw his shadow which means six more weeks of winter. I live in the Northeast and didn't need a groundhog to tell me that. We had snow as late as Easter when I lived in this part of the country before so I will consider it a good thing if winter only lasts six more weeks. And I'm wondering if Phil the Groundhog is your facebook friend because he has a fb page and he has friends. Oh and apparently he texts too. I read a quote by Tom Chapin, editor of the Punxsutawney Spirit newspaper who said, "Groundhog Day is a lot like a rock concert but the people are better behaved and there's a groundhog involved." Wow. They know how to work the holiday don't they? Did you know that Phil's cousin has made his home in the rock wall of our back garden?

I guess that makes him a rock star too.

So sorry!

In other news, I went to Walmart yesterday. I know. I think I gave you fair warning that life hasn't been too interesting around here lately. Anyway, I was shopping for this and that and I bought a bottle of Febreze. There are 687 scents to choose from because this is America and just one would never do and I finally decided on this one.

Can anyone tell me what exactly is the scent of light?

I read a sweet post on Rebecca's blog today...she talks about kindness which is something I've been thinking about alot lately. As I was navigating the craziness that is Walmart an older gentleman and I came round a corner at the same moment and were both attempting to squeeze thru a narrow space. He flashed me a great big smile and as he backed up his cart he bowed low and said, 'Beauty before age.' It made me smile. It lightened my heart. It brightened my day. A small act of kindness yet here I am writing about it on my blog. Small acts of kindness are just that. They are small. But their ripple effect can be huge.

In this month of hearts and flowers and groundhogs I want to be kind. To brighten a day. To lighten a heart. As Rebecca says, 'it only takes a little effort.'

The not-so-much a Pioneer Woman cooks

Before I start rambling let me announce the winner of the book drawing:

Congratulations Nel! Email me with your contact details and I will put the book in the post to you this week. If you didn't win this time check Nel's blog in the next couple of weeks as she'll be passing the book on to another reader soon.

Now, I don't know how it was in your neck of the woods this weekend but it was bitterly cold in these parts. And I'm not sure why I'm talking like this...evidently frigid temperatures make me talk like the Clampetts. Frigid temperatures also make me want to pull out my cookbooks and try some new recipes.

Okay, so I like cookbooks...love to buy them and love to read them but I'm not always good about remembering to actually cook from them. Like the rest of America I received a copy of The Pioneer Woman Cooks this Christmas. I've made several recipes via her website but on Saturday night I actually used the cookbook. I made her recipe for linguine with clam sauce and it was delicious. My husband loved it too but he struggled to understand the 'pioneer' part. She says this is one recipe that is maybe not as 'cowboy friendly' as some of her others but it is really tasty and also quick and easy...if you have her book give this recipe a try.

On Sunday we were still living with arctic temperatures which called for homemade soup and cornbread. I'm pretty sure that as a little girl parsnips fell into the category of vegetables that needed to be secretly stashed in my napkin when mom wasn't looking followed by an 'excuse me may I leave the table to go to the restroom' request. Brussel sprouts would have fallen into that same category. Not so as an adult...in fact I don't think there is a single vegetable I don't love. Or dessert but that's a post for another day. I don't think I ever cooked parsnips before moving to England but they're a popular vegetable there and I fixed them pretty often, usually roasted in the oven with a little maple syrup-yum! Yesterday I made a delicious Cream of Parsnip soup that we all love... if you've never eaten parsnips give this a try...they are sweet and a perfect vegetable for a cream soup. You will notice pretty quickly that I'm nothing like The Pioneer Woman when it comes to combining photography with cooking but I consider it a success that I remembered to take pictures at all. Here's the recipe-

You will need:

2 tsp. unsalted butter

1 cup diced shallots (about 3)

1/4 cup diced onion

3/4 cup white wine

3 1/2 cups peeled, chopped parsnips (about 9 small-medium)

5 cups chicken stock

3/4 tsp white balsamic vinegar (I didn't have this and used cider vinegar...regular balsamic would change the color of the soup and the cider vinegar worked)

3/4 tsp salt

pinch pepper

3/4 cup half and half

In a soup pot over medium-low heat, melt butter. Add shallots and onion and saute, stirring until translucent, about 4 minutes. Add wine, stir well, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer until wine is reduced by half, about 10 minutes.

Add parsnips, chicken stock, vinegar, salt and pepper and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer gently, uncovered, until parsnips are completely tender, about 45 minutes.

Remove pan from heat and use immersion blender to puree the soup (or cool slightly and carefully puree in batches in food processor or standing blender). Transfer puree to saucepan and whisk in the half and half. Warm over low heat until steaming.

I served this with The Barefoot Contessa's Jalapeno Cheddar Cornbread which is fab-u-lous.

Seriously fabulous. I highly recommend...this cornbread recipe makes a large pan so I froze the leftovers. Enjoy!