Let them eat cake

So, who's still reading here? I promise to eventually stop talking about my birthday but if you've stuck with me for this long you probably want details, right? Hubs did good. Very good. Very very good. He kicked off the birthday celebration by taking me out to breakfast. We went to a little place we often go and after we ordered our waitress started moving all the condiments around on the table like a mad woman. I was thinking she was just a tad bit OCD about tabletop organization when she appeared once more, this time with a big box and envelope. She handed me the envelope and then put the box on the table. This was in the box...

Let's pause for a moment to truly appreciate the beauty of this moment.

Yes you need to see two pictures. How else are you to know the awesomeness of my favorite cake in the universe...chocolate cake with a raspberry filling which must include fresh raspberries and a chocolate ganache icing. The sides are then smothered in shaved chocolate. Of course I had a piece for breakfast. What is the point of showing me a chocolate cake at 9:30 am if you don't want me to taste it? Our sweet waitress sang Happy Birthday to me all by herself so we rewarded her with a slice. She didn't have a problem with the time either.

Back to the envelope...

Inside the envelope was a booklet hubs had put together. Besides our itinerary for the weekend he included a very special Robert Burns poem and his own list of 50 things he loves about me. It was funny and sweet and one of my favorite things about my birthday.

After breakfast it was time for some presents and I did in fact get some 'bling'. Well, bling for a blogger anyway...an Ipad, which was very exciting. My girls got me the keyboard dock and a really adorable Dooney and Bourke case to carry it in.

I had to play with it a little bit and download all my music before we headed into the city but we eventually got out of the house and checked into our hotel. In Times Square. We stayed in the Marriott Marquis which is a place we've stayed many times and its an ideal location if you plan to see a show which coincidentally was also on our agenda. Here is the view we saw upon entering our room on the 20th floor Friday afternoon...

This is also the view at 4 in the morning because, hey, it's NY, the city that never sleeps. The weather was perfect so we walked a bit...guess what show we saw Friday night?

Turning 50 is definitely worthy of a champagne toast so we stopped in Sardis to do just that...

There were a lot of fun people who had the same idea and we made a few new friends. This is my new jeweler....

Well, he could be...we met him in Sardis and he is a jeweler and also an actor. He had some stories to tell that had us all laughing and hey, it never hurts to know a good jeweler in NYC if you know what I mean.

Way back in January we were in the city for New Years Eve and we stopped in the Mandarin Hotel on Columbus Circle. I said then that I definitely wanted to come back sometime because it is beautiful. And hubs remembered. So we did. We arrived a little bit early so we could sit in the lounge and enjoy spectacular views of the city...

He had reserved a table by the window overlooking Central Park...

And then there was the food. Oh my. I'm still talking about it. The restaurant is called Asiati and I may have to edit my post from Friday and add this starter to the list of 'best things I've ever eaten'. I loved it so much I kind of wanted to pick up my bowl and drink the last drop of broth. I refrained. I am fifty now you know.

For my main course I had butter poached lobster with white polenta, hon shimeji mushrooms and a kaffir emulsion. I have a picture but I felt the food photos were getting ridiculous so just imagine a perfectly cooked lobster sitting in a pool of the most delicious sauce and you've got the idea. Oh, what's one more picture at this point, right?

Our waiter as it happens was from Montenegro. Because hubs makes friends everywhere he goes the waiter and hostesses and whoever else was running the show let him get an up close and personal look at the wine case. And he had them all laughing so they said, 'Hey, let's take your picture opening up the 'frig'.' Why not? And fyi-If you need to inject a little bit of fun into your life, go to dinner with my hubs.

Now, even though I'd had chocolate cake for breakfast I had to have dessert because it was a 3 course deal. I debated between the chocolate cake and the sticky rice creme brulee but went with the creme brulee because I knew I still had 3/4 of a chocolate cake at home waiting for me. These things require thought people. Anyway, after they brought out hubs dessert, and my creme brulee they brought out this ....

Yay hubs...he really did think of everything. And this chocolate cake was part cake and part mousse and I was so full I could only have a couple of bites but it was rich and delicious. Three desserts. Can a birthday get any better? I think not.

On with the show...we had tickets to see Promises Promises. Kristen Chenowith plays the female lead and she is without a doubt, absolutely, positively adorable. We were on the third row and I'm pretty sure she smiled at us. Sean Hayes (Jack of Will and Grace fame) played the male lead and nearly stole the show. It was fabulous!

But wait. The night's not over yet. After walking all over Manhattan in four inch heels my feet were screaming, but I was not going to let that stop me from having just a little bit more fun. You only turn 50 once you know. So, it was back to the Marriott to ride the fast wobbly glass elevator up to the 48th floor lounge known as The View. The lounge revolves so if you sit for an hour you get a 360 degree view of the city. New York is such an amazing place.

And my hubs is a keeper. I'm going to post Saturdays fun in a separate post because you know this is the birthday that never ends. In the meantime though, I must just mention one of the very best parts of my weekend-Daughter1 wrote a post for my birthday and you can read it here. If she isn't the sweetest thing on the planet then I don't know who is!

Milking it...

I have successfully managed to stretch my birthday out to a full week here in the blogosphere. Pretty sure it's had at least a mention every day since last Saturday. And guess what? My birthday still isn't quite here. It falls on the weekend but I'll be busy having chocolate cake in an as yet undisclosed location so I need to finish my birthday Q and A today. Here's the final four. Well, final seven but final four sounded more exciting.

Maribeth asked, "Where in the world have you had your best meal?

And what was it?"

Oh my word. I've had so many fabulous meals I'm not sure I can pick a favorite. For certain one great meal we had was at a beautiful English estate called Cliveden...

It was once the home of Nancy Astor and we celebrated an anniversary there one year. I don't remember every course but I do remember one of the chef's treats between courses was a peach champagne soup. It had a dollop of vanilla ice cream in the center. Nobody wonders why I call it the ex-pat fifteen do they?

We once had an amazing lunch in a tiny off the beaten path sort of place in Stresa, Italy. It lasted four hours and was course after course of fresh from the market, that- day, ingredients accompanied by homemade pasta and molto vino served by the owners, an adorable husband and wife team. I'm pretty sure this was the best meal I've ever eaten. The restaurant did not look like anything much. In fact it looked like this-

Oh, but the view from our table looked like this-

And I still talk about a steak I had in Chamonix, France one December. You could cut it with a fork and I finally understood how people could eat tartare. It was that good. And practically that raw. Let's just say I could write a book on fabulous meals I've eaten.

Now for a couple of travel questions....

Cathy asks, "Since you've traveled a lot what is your most absolute favorite place you've traveled and why?"

Well, this is a bit like asking me about my favorite meal. So many factors go in to the answer...the timing, the people I was with, the weather while I was there. My favorite trips always include my family and Italy is my favorite place to travel. I wrote a whole post about the trip we took to Stresa, but I have taken several trips to Italy and have loved them all...the people and the scenery and the food and the wine and the language and the shopping and the air. The air is different in Italy y'all...it's like a drug.

Other favorites...Italy's Amalfi coast, Rome, The Normandy region of France, Chamonix,France, Salzburg Austria, Seefeld Austria...and Paris. J'aime Paris et toutes les chose francais.

Jill wants to know, " With all the traveling you've done around the world is there any place you haven't been that you've always wanted to go?"

Oh, yes indeed. In fact there's a long long list of places I haven't been and want to go. If there is one thing I've learned while traveling it's this...the more you see the more you realize how much you haven't seen. I'd like to see the Western side of Canada, Alaska, there's still a million little towns and villages around Europe I'd like to see, parts of Africa, some of Asia...I'd like to spend a week or two lying on a beach in The Maldives and I'd love to go to Australia and catch up with some friends who live there. Seeing someplace with a 'local' always makes a trip more fun.

And from the facebook contingent Andrea asks, "Have you ever thought of writing a book? Do you think you might one day?

Yes to the 'have I ever thought about it'. Me and about a billion other people. I've always said I needed time and most especially I needed space in my head to even attempt it. I kind of have that now so do I think I might one day? I want to say yes. Yes. I'm saying yes. You should know that what I lack in self-discipline I make up for in optimism.

And also from Andrea-Having enjoyed living in Europe so much and visited quite a few places around the world, where could you imagine your ideal place to settle/live (not taking into account the necessity to be near your loved ones), which is undoubtedly number one priority, right?

I would love to live near my children. Nearer my children. Within an easy drive at least, of my children. But life being what it is I'm not sure that will happen. Because one lasting legacy of living abroad is having children who also understand that the world is huge and wide open with possibility and opportunity and people to meet and places to see. My children may very well live overseas again one day. We may very well live overseas again one day. And much as I would love to keep them round the corner (or at least on this continent) I know that may not happen.

Hubs and I have decided we're going to live where we want to live and make it someplace inviting so our kids will want to come and hang out there and bring our future grandchildren to hang out there too. We'd like a house on the water. Probably a lake and definitely south of the Mason Dixon line. Hopefully the Carolinas because I like the coastal states. And an airport that is not to hard to get in and out of so when the travel bug bites we can get up and go.

Deb knows me from way back when and she asked, "Who was your most memorable student and where do you think they are now and do you think they think of you?"

Well, of course all my former students think of me. And I'm positive that even though they were in my kindergarten class and are now in high school they still talk about me with great fondness at their dinner table every night. They all remember me as their absolute favoritest teacher ever. Yes I know favoritest isn't a word. Hey, I was a teacher remember?

Who is my most memorable? She did say memorable could go either way. Here's the thing....I loved all my students. Really. I cannot think of one that I did not love. Now, granted some of them could also make me a little bit crazy and some required a lot of work to find that love but I can always find something to love in even the most difficult child. Kindergarten is my favorite age so I suppose if you made me choose I'd say one of the easiest to love was a little boy named M. He once squirted an entire can of whipping cream into his mouth while my back was turned and his mom and I were talking. The ones with the twinkle in their eye and the mischievous smiles get me every time.

And now, the envelope please...the winner of my favorite question is...Kara. Everyone go say hi to Kara please because she's sweet and her writing is real and filled with humor. Its funny how blogging can connect people...Kara and I are, ahem, not of the same age, but we have bonded over our shared love of Needtobreathe and I think that's what inspired her question. Her question was really fun to think about and when I asked my hubs how he would answer he quickly threw out the names of three bands. I had to give this some serious thought and tweak my list a hundred times and lose sleep but anyway here's the question-

"Your dream concert line up would be? And where would it be? And if it is super awesome can I come too?"

I like so many music genres it was almost impossible to narrow this down. I have a cramp in my brain if such a thing is possible. I toyed with the idea of a lollapalooza because that allowed me to pick lots of bands but in the end that became stressful and I decided to just go with a line up I know I'd love-there are other line ups and other genres I'd also love but this would be a good one.

I think we'd kick things off with Needtobreathe. They are my newest favorite band and I would want them to play every single song off their Outsiders cd. It is that good. Kara and I would sing along at the top of our lungs and she might regret for a tiny minute coming to the concert with me but only for a minute. Then I think I'd have to have the Boss because he's the original Jersey boy and also because he's awesome. He'd be followed by The Eagles who would sing all my favorite songs and fyi that would be pretty much everything they have ever recorded. And we'd end the night with U2 who would rock the house. Or rather they'd rock Wembley Stadium because that's where we'd be.

I'm sure it would be one of those crystal clear perfect London nights, with not a drop of cold wet miserable in sight. Before the show I'd take Kara shopping on Oxford and Carnaby Streets and then we'd have tea in the beautiful atrium of the Landmark Hotel. The Landmark is conveniently located beside Marylebone station so after we finish with tea we'd hop on the train and go out to the stadium with the masses. Because it would definitely be a sold out show.

Can y'all tell I got a little carried away with this one? Kara-email me your address and I'll get your prize sent out asap. And thanks everyone for playing along on my birthday post! Have a great weekend. I'll be doing something. I don't know what that something is but I know its something.

For the record...I do know what we are NOT doing and that is spending a weekend in London, having dinner in Rome, or getting a visit from my girls. Actually I don't really care what we do as long as there is chocolate cake somewhere along the way. And hubs has known me since my big 2-0 so I'm pretty sure he's got that covered.

It's my party and I'll blog if I want to

I'm going to write my birthday post in two parts and post half today and half tomorrow.

I figured my birthday was a good time to turn over a new leaf and cut my blog posts in half.

Yes, this post is half its original size.

You're welcome.

Anyway, hubs has some super secret plans for the weekend and I don't think blogging is on the agenda so I'm a posting a little bit early.

Thanks to everyone who sent me a question.

You'll have to read to the end of tomorrow's post to see who wins the prize with my favorite.

Or I guess you could skip this post entirely and go straight to the end tomorrow but that would be cheating and you know how I feel about rule breakers.

Let's get this one out of the way right off the bat...

Kathy asks, " Exactly how old are you?

Is this one of those round number birthdays?"

Kathy's blog is one of the first blogs I ever read and in her defense she says she's pretty sure she is older than me so she feels like its okay to ask.

Yes. Yes it is. Birthdays are good, right? As a matter of fact, it is a round number birthday~50. I want you to know that in my head I am way younger. And telling people I'm turning 50 sounds so much nicer than saying I'm hitting 'the half century mark' don't you think?

Along these lines Tina wonders what my first few days on earth were like.

Well, obviously I'm going by what my mom has told me. First of all, she says I was her best baby. Sorry siblings but you all know its true. Apparently you three were trouble early on. My mom says she felt like out of four children she deserved one easy baby and that was me. I was born in Hawaii. My dad was in the Marine Corps at the time and my baby pictures almost all have beautiful backgrounds.

This is me and my dad in front of a banana tree in our backyard. I think my love of all things ocean-beach-sunshine related was in my DNA before I took my first breath.

Christine asks, "Are you a coffee or a tea drinker?

Do you need it to wake up?"

That would be a yes, yes, and a most definite yes. I drink coffee. And I need my coffee first thing in the morning much the same way I need oxygen. I also drink tea. Pretty sure its against the law to reside in Great Britain for any length of time and not drink tea. Every day around 3 ish I have a cuppa as they like to say...it perks me up so I can stay awake until
8:30 PM 10 ish.

Carol asks, "What's your favorite recipe and will you post it at some point but not necessarily your birthday week?"

This one is too hard. Whine whine. I have many favorites but since its a birthday party I will post a recipe one day next week that is handy to have in your repertoire. It's called Fudge Pie and it is super easy and delicious. Everyone always loves it and the ingredients are items I generally have on hand because let's be honest...there are moments in life when you need to whip out a fudge pie and I never want to be caught unprepared.

Leaving the food genre for a moment and moving on to a blogging question...I almost picked this one as my favorite because as I've said before I do love a good post title....

Catherine wants to know "Is it easier to create the title then write a narrative or create a killer title from the narrative you've written."

Most days as I'm writing a post a title forms in my head. I can't think of a time where I had a title but didn't have at least an idea of a post already sketched out in my head or online.

FB friends chimed in too and

Connie asks, "What makes a great birthday present?

What is the best present you've ever received?"

A great present is one that shows thought...that a person didn't just feel obligated to buy me a gift because its an occasion but that the person really and truly thought about it more than five minutes prior to the giving. Maybe its something that I've mentioned in passing that the giver remembered or something they saw that made them think of me. One year my daughters gave me a salad spinner. They were just little bitty things then and remembered me saying I wanted one whenever the ads came on tv. It was so sweet and they were so excited to have me open their present.

Of course you can never go wrong with jewelry. One year I'd had a 'mishap' that required surgery on my hand. I had a ring that I'd always worn on that hand that had to be cut off. The ring, not my hand. Anyway, my hubs surprised me by having the stone reset into a new ring that I loved so much more than the original setting. Plus it was a complete surprise and for me, surprise is often a key element in a great gift. That ring is still one of my very favorite pieces of jewelry.

There's more. There always is with me. This is sort of like the blogging equivalent of the British Prime Minister's Question time where every Wednesday Members of Parliament have a half hour to ask the Prime Minister questions. Yes, I did just compare my blog to Parliament. Hey, it's my birthday, remember?

Running on into the Random Dozen

First things first...The Random Dozen is hosted every week by Linda over at 2nd Cup of Coffee. She asks a dozen random questions, people answer, and we all link up over at her place on Wednesdays. This week she referenced a Jackson Browne song in her intro to the questions and since I've been here a while I just know there are people reading that are scratching their heads saying, "Running on empty? Huh? Jackson Browne?? Who? So here you go...an amazing songwriter. A poet. You're welcome.

Okay...here are my answers to this week's random dozen. If you want to play along just answer the questions on your own blog and click on the donuts to link with the rest of the internets.

1. Do you do garage sales?

no.

2. Name the last thing you fixed?

um, dinner? Even that wasn't too taxing...fall was in the air so I put a sausage and cabbage combo in my crock pot.

3. Name your A) favorite item of makeup or B) your favorite tool.

I guess I should say my concealer because hey, did I mention yet that I have a big birthday coming up this weekend? Yeah. That whole dark circles under the eye thing is not getting better with age.

4. Which room in your home needs organizing more than any other?

Our office. It's not exactly disorganized but I want to have some built ins put into the wall for all my books and I'd like to have the walk in closet customized. Currently there are a few piles in the closet and a few more piles in another closet upstairs that are crying out for organization. We had trees removed this week though which is so ridiculously expensive that I guess the closet thing is moving down a notch or ten on the wish list.

5. Which room could use re-decorating?

Daughter1's bedroom. Well, technically daughter1 has her own apartment too many hundred miles away but when we moved here a year ago we designated a bedroom for each of the girls. They double as extra guest rooms when the girls aren't home which, by the way, isn't nearly often enough, but I won't go there today. Daughter1's room needs paint along with a new dresser and nightstand. Maybe a small comfy chair too.

6. Share something unique about your town.

Unique...hmmm....well, as I was driving home recently a big ole bear lumbered across the road in front of my car. Conveniently daughter1 was with me. Not so conveniently my camera was in the boot and although her iphone was handy she was too dumbfounded to snap a photo. Seeing a bear is not an unusual occurrence in our town but I suspect it is an unusual occurrence in most towns. I am bound and determined to capture one on film for my blog.

Our town is built around a beautiful lake. It started as a vacation spot for folks working in the city but as the 'city' has expanded it's now a suburb of said city. You know when I say city I mean the city...New York City. No bear photo but here's the lake...

7. If you could send a one sentence message to your great grandchild what would it be?

Jesus loves you.

8. Do you facebook?

yes. I'm there for the finding...I have my blog linked to my page too and lots of my real life friends read it there.

9. Describe your favorite shoes.

Oh dear. Hard question. I'm going to say my boots...knee high black suede boots with a high heel. Or my ankle length black suede boots with a high heel. I live in those in the winter.

10. Do you listen to more talk radio or more music radio? What kind of station is it?

Seventies/eighties music of course. In the car I do listen to talk radio but can only take so much before I think my head might explode. Then I switch over to whatever station is coming in sans static. We live in an area with extremely poor radio reception which is why I heart my Sirius radio in the house. We really should get it for the car too but it seems like an unnecessary expense. We listen to a lot of CD's in the car. I listen to a lot of Contemporary Christian and country too. Oh and fyi there are not a lot of country music stations in Northern NJ.

11. How far would you travel for a really good favorite meal?

Far.

For example, if my hubs came home tonite and said,

"Hey remember that fantastic little place we ate in Rome where the owner asked us what we wanted to eat and then said, "No, I'll bring you something. You will love it.

And he said it in his cute Italian accent?

Well do you want to have your birthday dinner there this weekend?"

My reply would be, "Let me just grab my purse. And my passport."

I'd go far for a great meal. As I mentioned in the previous question, we live out in the country and there's a few good places around but mostly we have to drive in closer to the city or to the actual city to get a fantastic meal.

12. If you were totally honest with yourself and us what should you probably be doing right now instead of blogging.

Cleaning my baseboards. No 'probably' about it.

Sometimes it is all about me

As I may have mentioned a time or a hundred I have a birthday coming up in a few days.

I've decided to take a cue from my daughters and stretch it out to the nth degree.

Consider this a pre-pre-birthday post.

I'm older and I've earned it.

I love birthdays and I don't even care that I'm turning a certain age that we won't specifically mention here because every birthday is special and meant to be celebrated.

So, how did we kick off Birthday Week?

Silly reader, of course its going to last all week.

Anyway, we spent all day Saturday hiking in a nearby State Forest.

We didn't mean to.

We had planned to just take the dog for a walk and then hubs read about some waterfalls in the forest so we decided to check them out.

Let's just say that thanks to the lack of recent rain they were high and dry.

That didn't stop us from climbing the extremely steep steps all the way to the top.

Still very pretty, even without the water.

And then of course you have to climb back down which is no easy feat with an enthusiastic dog in the lead.

We had to drive a bit further to get to the car park at the trail entrances and along the way we saw this...

It looked suspiciously like a Cottonmouth minding his own business in the middle of the street.

Of course we had to stop the car and hubs had to poke it til it reared its head and loudly hissed.

And I had to calculate whether or not I could find my way out of the forest should anti venom become necessary.

Thankfully it did not.

Cottonmouths are not typically found in NJ and after checking with all knowing Google we could not find anything that looked exactly like this one.

Except a Cottonmouth.

Hmmm.

We eventually pulled ourselves away from the snake and headed for the trails.

Since we'd already climbed a thousand steps with the dog we opted for a trail marked mild but somehow ended up merging onto a difficult trail which ended up merging somewhere along the way with the Appalachian Trail.

It's lucky I'm not old yet because towards the top you had to use your hands to get over the rocks.

Good times.

We did it though and the view was worth it.

The dog might not agree.

It was a long way up.

And a long way down.

Apparently the way up was identical to the route down but that did not stop me from having the following conversation with hubs-

Me: Didn't we take the light blue trail up?

Him: You don't know where you are, do you?

Me: I know where I am.

Him: We took the green trail.

And why do you question me when it comes to directions?

I could have pointed to the car park from the top of that mountain we were just on.

insert here pulling the map out of the backpack with a huff

Him: !Look! !Look at the map!

Me: You don't know what its like to go thru life without any sense of direction.

(no metaphor intended)

Him: How do you not know where you are?

Me: How is it we have been married for 26+ years and you continue to ask me that question?

Him: All you need to do is look for the sun and you'll know which way is west.

Me: Huh?

Him: Sigh. I give up.

Tonite we have tickets to see the NY Jets play the Baltimore Ravens.

I'm feeling conflicted because we lived in the Baltimore area for almost 10 years so I'd like to root for the Ravens.

But we're in Jets country and will most likely be surrounded by Jets fans.

Plus, this is the Jets first game in their new stadium and they gave us Commemorative tickets that are hard plastic attached to a very nice Jets lanyard.

Free bling wins me over a little bit.

Is an NFL Lanyard bling?

Friday my hubs has something fun planned.

He has had it planned for a while.

It's a surprise.

He asked me this weekend if I wanted to know what the surprise is.

Hubs is great at lots of things.

Keeping a secret is not one of them.

He can keep a secret.

He just doesn't like to.

Anyway, I said no.

Because I like surprises.

Usually.

As long as they're the good kind.

I'm sure a birthday surprise is the good kind.

I hope there is no map reading involved.

Finally, lovely blog readers....

I'd love to take questions from the studio audience for my actual birthday post.

I'm not sure there is anything left to tell as I'm pretty much an open book here, but if there is some piece of minutia I haven't covered then please, fire away.

Send me a question and I'll answer it at my blog birthday party this weekend.

If you read my blog on facebook you can come to the party too...just message me your question there.

To
ensure that somebody sends me a question make it a little bit more fun, there will be a prize awarded to the person who submits my favorite question.

No criteria-no rules.

Just submit a question and I'll answer them all and then pick my favorite.

That's right.

My favorite.

Hey, it is my birthday.

thoughts on the weekend, getting older and becoming a radical

Warning: I have a lot on my mind and that's not always a good thing when it comes to my blog.

Here's the thing...my blog is not really a super serious place. There are moments of meaningful thought and a lot of emotion is expressed here but in general my blog is light and fluffy. And that's okay. I read a few blogs that I consider 'deep' and sometimes light and fluffy is a welcome relief. However, when I do want to write something more serious I tend to be misunderstood. I get comments from people wanting to encourage me and cheer me up which I love but which sometimes make me feel like I missed making my point. Or my hubs will dole out a 'get a grip speech' which I sometimes need and can appreciate but I'm not needing that today. Today I just need to put some of these thoughts into written words.

With all that being said, I'm going to try to tell you more today about what's on my mind besides how I spent my weekend. Scintillating as that always is.

I'm celebrating a birthday on Saturday. A pretty big birthday. And I'm feeling kind of eh. I mean, my hubs has some sort of surprise plans for the day which involve me packing an overnite bag and I know there will be lots of fun and special and wonderful happening around here. When I say I'm feeling eh I don't mean about how my family will work to make the day nice, I mean something more.

Do you spend much time thinking about the meaning of life? Seriously? I would like to know your answer. Because lately I've been thinking about it a lot. I suspect if you have very young children at home your answer is no. Life is busy and getting thru the day with everyone fed, clothed, schooled, bathed and loved pretty much takes up most of the space in your brain. But I'm at a different place in my life. And birthdays are a good time for reflecting, right?

I think a few things have occurred recently to get my brain a-swirling...

There was 9-11. And 9-11 always makes me think about the first time in my adult life I smacked head long into evil in this world and it also involved terrorism and senseless death and airplanes. My neighbors. Fifteen years of neighborliness. Friends. Aside from my own mother I don't think anyone influenced my idea of who I wanted to be as a mother more than the mom who lived next door. I loved that family. They moved to London one summer. And just a few short months later on a clear December day that dad, and that mom, and their two beautiful young daughters boarded a plane in London to return to the US for Christmas. That plane came to be known as Pan Am 103 or The Lockerbie Jet. In an eyeblink the world tilted. Why? Over 20 years have come and gone and I cannot answer that question. But I think about it sometimes. And always especially on 9-11.

Guatemala. More specifically Ann Voskamp's blog posts from Guatemala. I've always loved her blog because most days it is like a sea of calm, cool, rest amidst the clanging of the internet. Her writing is beautiful and poetic. And this past week she traveled with Compassion International to Guatemala and I've been reading her posts and I dare you to read them and not shed a tear. Cry, you say? Well then maybe you shouldn't read them Joyce. But I can't not read them. They remind me that there are people in this world whose tin houses are stuck into a hillside that slips away without warning and whose children are recruited by drug lords at the tender age of 7. People who need hope. And food and clothing and water. But most of all hope. The weight of that thought presses in on me and makes me want to act.

Radical. It's a book. A New York Times bestseller that a lot of people are reading including me. Its the type of book that is sometimes called 'jumping on a bandwagon' but sometimes there's a reason why people jump on a bandwagon. I don't agree with everything the author has to say but he does make some really thought provoking and down right uncomfortable points about what we have as Americans and what we do with what we have. As I sip tea in my warm cozy house with a hearty meal on the stove and I write on my nearly brand new Mac about a blog post that tells of little children climbing a hill to outrun a mudslide I cannot help but see the contradiction. Can't we all?

If you know me in person I'm pretty sure radical is not the word that would instantly pop into your head if someone asked you to describe me. But as I roll into a new decade on Saturday I'm kind of wishing it was. I think I need a little bit more radical in my life.

I re-read this many times and debated if I should actually hit publish. I'm thinking out loud, trying to make certain opportunity is not sitting squarely in front of me and I'm too caught up in the superficial to miss the meaningful. I'm just having a birthday and thinking about the meaning of life. About how I can make a difference in a world filled with hungry children and devastating poverty and evil in all its many forms. In this new decade, how do I live a more radical life?

Okay, no worries...while I'm sure you all appreciated this little peek inside my head it will be back to your regularly scheduled nonsense here tomorrow. My usual writing is light with a side of deep for anyone who might be looking.

You know...sometimes it is worth looking.

She ought to be in pictures

Oh wait.

She is.

Lots of them in fact.

Lots and lots and lots of pictures.

I'm sorry, but a birthday happens only once a year and besides...

they tell her story.

If you need more words you can read the post I wrote about her last year.

In the meantime...

Happy Birthday to my baby.

My baby who is sweet

and sassy,

a blonde headed

blue eyed beauty.

Confident

and funny,

a natural born actress

who loves her books

her music

and being in the kitchen.

She was born fearless

and is still not afraid to try something new.

She's a sister's best friend

and a Daddy's little girl.

My mini me

She can exasperate

and fill my heart to the point of overflowing.

She is independent

determined

and full of courage and self-discipline in a way I only wish I could be.

She has traveled the globe,

seen lands far and wide,

and knows that home is anywhere your people are.

She loves her friends,

fun shoes,

animals,

life.

Today she leaves the teen years behind and celebrates her 20th birthday.

Happy Birthday Daughter2!

You, my sweet girl, have made my life fuller, scarier, richer...

you who feels so deeply

and who loves so completely.

Whose smile lights up the darkest days,

whose zest for life has given me more than a few gray hairs,

and whose love has filled every nook and cranny of my soul.

"Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart's desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him and He will help you."

Psalm 37:4-5