In The Good Ole Summertime

It's Monday so how about a catch up post? That's pretty much been my summer blog theme, and hey! it's still summer so there ya go. Daughter2 will greet a new classroom full of students today, but it's the middle of August on the lake and we've got the humidity to prove it.

My sister and her hubs were in town all last week along with my twelve year old nephew and his best bud. They got a kick out of prepping the pork butt for the grill.

The weather was perfection every single day which was a good thing because these boys lived in the water. 

We tubed (and by we I mean they), we taught them to water ski (and by we I mean hubs and the brother-in-law taught them to ski)-

Also the skier pictured here is hubs. They might have taught the boys to ski, but they're not looking like this just yet-ha!

We hung out on one of the island beaches, took a sunset cruise, and motored all over the lake while the boys each had a turn at the wheel.

We played tag at the waterfall...

There were a few boats at the falls, but nothing like you see on a hot June or July weekend. Weekdays are where it's at.

Also it was hubs and the boys who played tag. My sister and I chillaxed on the boat.

It was fun to have a whole week to swim and boat after being away from it for three weeks. This is the last of our summertime company, but not the last of our summertime fun. Lots still on the calendar which is how we roll here on This Side Of The Pond.  Enjoy your Monday everyone! 

Random Thoughts From Home

I think you all know random is my forte, and I've had a busy day so I'm going with what I know in the A-Z Challenge today.

R is for Random Thoughts From Home

Not necessarily about home, but since I'm at home there's your connection. 

Firstly, let's just talk about the darling Prince George. I'm sure by now everyone has seen the picture of him standing beside the Queen, Prince William, and Prince Charles. He always looks like he's up to something with that twinkle in his eye and his big beaming smile. The photograph will be a postage stamp, and that's almost enough of a reason to visit England. I need to write myself a letter and send it back across the pond. 

There's another photo making the rounds too, showing the Queen with all the great grands and her two youngest grandchildren. The little one (Mia) holding the purse is positively too cute for words. I thought they were wonderful photographs and the Queen looks lovely too. 

I saw something today where the creator of Downton Abbey is producing a new program called Jamestown, about the early British settlers in America. I'm looking forward to it because I'm sure it will be well done, and because when hubs and I lived in Virginia we visited the Jamestown settlement. We both remember it well because my parents were with us, and as we were leaving my dad drove down the road going the wrong way. As in heading for oncoming traffic, which thankfully there wasn't much of, and hubs mentioned it to him in a casual offhand way, and my dad moved to the correct lane and all was well. 

The word Jamestown cannot be mentioned here without my girls telling the tale of our own version of the settlement. It started off as Daughter1's fifth grade social studies project. She and a friend were to create a model of the settlement and they were busy working away in the garage with toothpicks and clay and their own ideas, struggling a little to make it come together, but giving it all they had. The dads popped in to see how it was going and I think you know how this ends. Hubs likes to say he got an A. 

Yesterday Daughter2 stopped by after school and we had tea on the balcony. It was a beautiful sunny day, and our balcony sits back a bit so it was the perfect temperature. We had a long leisurely chat and Daughter1 facetimed us which is the next best thing to being there. 

Few things say home to me more than an afternoon cup of tea with my girls. 

I drink a cup of tea almost every afternoon. When we moved to England I remember thinking it was odd that people asked for hot tea on warm summer afternoons. I'm sure they found the idea of  tea poured over ice every bit as strange, and I fully adopted their way of thinking. I drink hot tea no matter what the thermometer says. 

Hubs and I are meeting some NJ neighbors tomorrow evening. They're headed south to see their very talented son perform in the opera Carmen, and since we're practically in the neighborhood we're going too. 

Neighborhood is a term we use very loosely on this side of the pond. 

I've only seen one opera in my life and that was Romeo and Juliet, sung expertly in Italian in the Verona coliseum under a starry night sky. It was completely magical...

And also my birthday. 

We're looking forward to seeing friends from tinytown NJ and catching up in person. Next week I'm having dinner with one of my bridesmaids, a college friend I haven't seen in a number of years, and I'm excited to catch up with her too. I'm also having lunch with a blog friend next week, our first time to meet in person but of course I feel like I know her.  

I guess that's enough random for one day. There's a lot of that other R word happening round here lately (real life) and I need to get back to it.  Happy weekend everyone! 

Thursday is the weekend, right? 

Stray Thoughts and Minor Obsessions

That title makes this post sound more interesting than it will be, so fair warning. I've been keeping a list on my phone of what I suppose you'd call stray thoughts, and this seems like a good place to put them. Some of those stray thoughts might be considered borderline obsessions of mine at the moment, and oftentimes my blog is where I go to figure that out.

In no particular order...

Iced coffee. Definitely an obsession. I refrigerate whatever is left in the morning pot and drink it over ice later in the day. Like right now. I'm having an iced coffee. When you spend the summer moving it's the little things that keep you sane.

The Royals. Almost an obsession. As in I adore them and read the websites and look at all the pretty pictures every time one's posted. Kate's hair, Kate's clothes, George's soft blue cardi and mischievous grin, baby Charlotte and her fabulous pram, the English countryside...they're all happy distractions from so much turmoil going on in the world.

Earthquakes. Trying not to make it an obsession. Mostly succeeding although hubs and I may have ordered an earthquake kit for our daughter and son in law yesterday. We're not crazy or paranoid but we do have a little too much time on our hands right now, and this is where your thought train travels while in limbo.

Who read the super scary article in The New Yorker called The Really Big One? The tag line under the title is 'An earthquake will destroy a sizable portion of the coastal Northwest. The question is when.' Huh? Why is this the first I'm hearing about plates colliding somewhere besides California? The article goes into great detail about the likelihood of a major earthquake striking the Pacific Northwest.

The same Pacific Northwest where my daughter1 and son in law live.

When my daughter first told me she and her now hubs would be moving to Washington after they married I was sad about the distance, but a little bit happy she was leaving D.C. In D.C. she rode the metro every day and worked a block from the White House, and I remember thinking how much safer she'd be under the soaring evergreens of Washington State than in our nation's capital.

Safety is an illusion. I suppose deep down we know this, but some weeks it's made more real to us than others, and this has been one of those weeks. I've heard so many sad things in the past few days, and that combined with everything splashed across our headlines and TV screens can make me want to hide away somewhere with all my people.

Which brings me to another obsession. This song by King and Country. Oh my word I am obsessed. I play it loud and sing along only slightly off key. I let the lyrics and the melody wash over me as I remember I'm not carrying the weight of the world on my own two shoulders.

None of us are. So many people I talk to feel a general sense of uneasiness these days. The world is shifting in ways that are sometimes confusing and hard to understand. Despair feels close enough to touch.

But then so is hope.

We don't have to carry the burdens of this world alone.  We can set them on the shoulders of the One who knows our every need and weakness. He set the world in motion and nothing is too big or too hard or too heavy for Him. Sometimes it's good to write that down and say it out loud.

Sometimes it's good to sing it at the top of your lungs and a little off key.

Deep In the Heart of Texas

Hubs and I spent the weekend guess where? You guessed it. We flew out early Thursday morning after a very late short night Wednesday. His co-workers threw him a retirement party on Wednesday evening but I'm going to save that recap for later, because this morning I want to talk about Texas.

UK friends as we call them round here....note-when you move a lot you might refer to your friends via geography. We have Maryland friends, NJ the first time friends, college friends, etc...anyway UK friends otherwise known as friends we met while living in the UK, had a son getting married in the hill country outside of Austin on Saturday, so we made a long weekend of it.

I've always heard people talk about the Texas hill country and I think it lived up to it's billing. We had an absolutely fabulous time, but first things first. Cowboy boots. I needed a pair. I had a pair years ago and was looking forward to the whole boot buying experience. When in Rome, right?

Hubs and I flew into Houston and made the drive over to Austin Thursday afternoon. You may have heard there's a ginormous convention going on in the city of Austin just now (SXSW) so flights were ridunculous. We needed a rental car anyway, so opted to go the Houston route.  It was an easy drive over (I napped, so easy for me anyway) until you hit Austin. What is up with your traffic Austin? Ka-razy, and not just because of SXSW either. Plus UT was on Spring Break so most of the students were away. I can't imagine what it's like on game day.

We eventually got to our hotel, checked in, and proceeded straight to the boot store. As a side note-I wish I'd invented the boot jack. We did buy one because I told hubs I'd have to sleep in mine if I didn't have some way to get them off my feet.

After shopping we enjoyed a fabulous dinner at a place called Lamberts, on W. 2nd Street. Hubs ordered the short rib and I guess what they say is true-

Everything's bigger in Texas! Hubs had me put my hand there for perspective. In case you're interested, I had brisket which was melt in your mouth delicious.

Friday we slept in, then made our way back into downtown. I need to pause here and acknowledge the absolute spectacular perfection that was the weather. Bright blue skies, warm air and a cool breeze, loads of sunshine...it was heaven. I have not been outside without a coat in months, and Texas weather was just what the doctor ordered.

The Texas capitol building is a landmark so we headed there first. Really pretty, and did I mention the weather? We wandered around inside a bit before getting back out amongst the masses to find lunch.  There's a great energy in this city, and it was amped up a few notches because of the SXSW happenings. We had lunch on a patio and soaked up the sun. Our Vitamin D tanks were in desperate need of a refill. Thanks Texas!

After lunch we headed out into true hill country where the wedding festivities were being held-Dripping Springs.  Doesn't that just sound like a sleepy hill country town? Hubs and I had some time to fill before dinner so we mozied down the road to a cute little shop to browse and maybe buy me something pretty. Or two somethings. Or four. My retirement present-ha!

It just so happened Miss Rodeo Austin was in this same little shop also buying something pretty, so the shopkeeper snapped a blurry picture for us. Miss Rodeo Austin was adorable.

We were meeting up with some 'UK friends' for dinner. Two couples we haven't seen in eons so there was Mexican food, and loads of catching up to do before we moved on to the after dinner venue-The Mercer Street Dance Hall. 

Lots of Texas two-stepping going on, which is way harder than it looks. The bride and groom were awesome to watch! Plus, the sweetest thing...the bride actually wore her future mother-in-law's wedding gown to the rehearsal dinner and for dancing afterwards. She had it cut down into a dancing dress and I thought it was just precious. The groom's mama doesn't have daughters, so this was a really a thoughtful thing for this special bride to do.

The wedding wasn't until Saturday evening so we had a whole day to meander around the countryside. We spent a couple of hours right here-

The Solaro winery, sitting on their outdoor patio in the glorious Texas sun. I might be a little obsessed with the weather, but y'all it has been a winter in the northeast. Eventually we drove on over to a little town called Driftwood for lunch at the original Salt Lick in Driftwood Texas.

There was a crowd so we sat under this big tree and inhaled one of the best smells in all the world-Texas BBQ.

We three girls did a few laps around the hotel property before getting ready for the wedding because it seemed right.

The wedding was held in a pretty venue right next door to our hotel. The ceremony took place outside and there were cocktails on the patio before we all went indoors for dinner and more dancing. The bride and groom are both engineers and fully embraced their wedding date. They had a lot of fun with it including a pi(e) plate for their guests to sign.

It was the sort of day you didn't want to end. Perfect weather, old friends, young love, perfect weather. Sunday we flew back home to the tundra. We arrived in Newark on time, but were kept sitting on the tarmac for almost an hour waiting on a 'parking space'. Something was going on in baggage claim too, so collecting our luggage took another hour. We finally arrived home in the dark of night, the pile of snow a little smaller but not small enough, and temps in the 30's. Re-entry here is always a little bit rough, but it's okay.

The stars at night, are big and bright...all around this great land.

Nothing to Fear in the Hodgepodge

Welcome to another edition of the Wednesday Hodgepodge. I'm assuming everyone read the blurb at the top of yesterday's post, but for those who missed it the HP will be taking a little holiday next week. That means no Hodgepodge on August 20th. I need a week to catch up round here, and hopefully you all need that too. We'll return to our regularly scheduled programming the following week-August 27th, which if you can believe it, will be the last HP in August. 

Now back to today. Here are my answers...add your link at the end of my post, then hop over to the blogger who linked before you and leave a comment. It's the neighborly thing to do. 

1. The best part of waking up is _______________________________.

Coffee in my cup. Seriously. 

Also, "...His mercies are new every morning..." Lamentations 3:22-23

2. Given a choice, which animal interaction would you most like to experience (or for you non-adventure lovers...which would you dislike the least?)-swim with the dolphins in one of several locations in the Florida Keys, a lion encounter ten miles from Victoria Falls (Africa), or a day at a remote base camp high in the Big Sur wilderness via the Ventana Wildlife Society helping track California Condors?

Hubs and I had so much fun on our dolphin swim last week, I'd do that again in a heartbeat, but...given the choices above I think I'd choose the lion encounter because a) lion cubs and b)Victoria Falls. I wouldn't turn down the Condor tracking either though, because I love bird watching and am all about great views too. I read there are amazing views in that one. 

3. What is something you fear about old age? Something you look forward to?

I don't know if I'd call it fear, but the idea of losing my memory is probably my biggest anxiety when it comes to growing old. Something I look forward to? That's easy-grandchildren!

4. Hot sauce...are you a fan? If you answered yes, what's something you make/eat that must have hot sauce? On a scale of 1-10, how hot is too hot?

Definitely a fan, and I must have hot sauce in my guacamole. As far as how hot is too hot, I don't like hot for the sake of hot. I like to taste my food. I think a solid 6-8 is perfect. 9 or 10 is sometimes too much. Hubs would disagree, and say there is no such thing as too hot. 

5. It's been said that children learn what they live. What do you think children learn at your house?

I hope children in my house learn that life is an adventure meant to be lived. That it requires bending and stretching and changing and trying.  That laughter is good for the soul. That when things don't go according to plan you can make a new plan. I hope they learn to dream big.  Most of all I hope they learn the Maker of heaven and earth knows their name and holds them in the palm of His hand. That He has a plan for their lives and nothing can separate them from His great love. 

6. What's your favorite movie with a number in its title?

Apollo 13. One of my favorites, period. 

7. Saturday (August 16th) is National Tell A Joke Day...share one here.

Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship? 
Both crews were marooned. 

8.  Insert your own random thought here.

Today is my father-in-law's 80th birthday, which I think deserves a mention. Happy Birthday to the king of corny jokes, our resident antiques aficionado, coffee consumer, and Grandpa extraordinaire!  

Also, last week I mentioned my Daughter2 was the happy new owner of a rescue greyhound. Several of you said you wanted a picture so meet Gemma...she is an absolute love!

Her owner is pretty sweet too!  

Hodgepodge Questions-Volume 186

Welcome to this week's edition of the Wednesday Hodgepodge. Before I get to the questions I have a couple items of business to mention-

I was on vacation last week, so did not get around to read everybody's answers. I'm catching up as I can, but here we are again with another HP so I may not get to all of last week's entries. Aaaaand...I'm also away this week so likely a similar scenario. I'm spending the week with my girls taking care of all sorts of fun wedding tasks while hubs is stuck in NJ manning hearth and home. Manning hearth and home is code for working and keeping the dog company.

An-y-way...all that to say I'm going to take a little HP break next week.  I need a week to catch up and hopefully you all need that too. So...HP questions today, link tomorrow (August 13th).  NO HP August 20th, but we will return to our regularly scheduled programming the following week-August 27th, which if you can believe it, will be the last HP in August.

Now on to our questions-

1. The best part of waking up is____________________________________.

2.  Given a choice, which animal interaction would you most like to experience (or for those non-adventurers...which would you dislike the least?)- Swim with the dolphins at one of several locations in the Florida Keys, a lion encounter ten minutes from Victoria Falls (Africa), or a day at a remote base camp high in the Big Sur wilderness via the Ventana Wildlife Society helping track California condors?

3. What is something you fear about 'old age'? What is something you look forward to?

4. Hot sauce...are you a fan? If you answered yes, what's something you make/eat that must have hot sauce? On a scale of 1-10 how hot is too hot?

5. It's been said that children learn what they live. What do you think children learn at your house?

6. What's your favorite movie with a number in it's title?

7. Saturday (August 16th) is National Tell a Joke Day...share one here.

8.  Insert your own random thought here.

The Evergreen State and God

As most of you know by now (because I've mentioned it no less than ten times) my first born baby girl, aka Daughter1, is getting married. We're still trying to pin down the when and the where, and as is our usual way of operating round here, it's complicated. Very.

Let's recap-

We live in New Jersey.
Daughter1 lives in the Washington D.C. area.
Fiance is currently living in Charleston SC.
Fiance's parents also live in South Carolina, but not in Charleston.
The happy couple plan to be married somewhere sometime in SC.

Those logistics are for amateurs, but guess what?
The fiance is moving soon, and when she becomes his Mrs. she'll be moving too.
Are you ready?

W is for Washington

Not Washington as in The District of Columbia, where the bride-to-be is currently working and living, but Washington as in The Evergreen State. The one that sits on the complete opposite side of the US of A, many, many, many miles from all of the above. Deep breaths now. Be brave.

And you know what? I feel brave. And happy. And so excited for the adventure my daughter and future son-in-law are about to embark upon, because here's the thing-

Beginning your life together as husband and wife in a home and city far from all that is familiar, means you must operate as a team from the get-go. An experience like this one can help cement a relationship, it allows you to mark it as wholly your own. Me and you. You and me. Husband and wife. I got you babe.  

I won't deny there is something sweet and special in being surrounded by the physical closeness and comfort of mom and dad and sister and cousins and all your big extended family. I also know there is something very liberating in figuring out what you look like as someone's other half, separate and away from the people who've loved you since the day you were born.

I cannot help but look back and see how God's hand has been upon each one of us, preparing us for this next season of life. How my sweet tender hearted girl, who never wanted her world to tilt in the slightest, had it flipped upside down at the age of fifteen.

September, 2003

How she was plucked from the cozy, familiar home she'd grown up in, and moved an ocean away, and how it was all so strange and new until one day it wasn't. Her fiance said to me recently, 'She's not afraid of anything.' and I smiled. That wasn't always so.

It was in that far away unfamiliar place my girl grew brave. It was there she learned to seize the day instead of allowing it to seize her. She discovered there's a big wide world out there just waiting to be known if you are not afraid to know it.

Above all, she learned that God is everywhere and also just a breath away. That home can be anywhere you are, even a country that is not your own.

Even the Evergreen State.

April, 2014

Her mama knows it too.

Kids!

You knew I would get around to this one eventually.

K is for Kids

My theme for this year's A-Z Blog Challenge is loosely entitled-Married with Children. Mostly I'm trying to focus on the married piece of that three word phrase, but the 'with children' portion is worth mentioning here too.  

I think there are two or three make or break issues in determining if someone is right for you, and one of those issues would be children. As in, yes we both want children someday, or no we're both very certain we don't want children ever. People can and do change their minds of course, but I tell my daughters to assume the way he feels now will still be true ten years from now.

Can you live with that?

If you know going in you're on opposite ends of the spectrum in your feelings about having children, and you get married hoping and praying your spouse will change his mind, well you're setting yourself up for heartache, and potentially a break up down the road.

Marriages quite naturally change once kids are added to the mix. Children open up a well inside of you whose depths you were unsure of prior to those little creatures burrowing their way into your heart and home.  There  have been moments since having children where I thought my heart might literally burst from the joy I feel inside. Becoming parents adds a depth and richness to the relationship between husband and wife that is a remarkable thing.

It also adds conflict, stress, and layers of complexity and need, that didn't exist before you had children. Only someone who has never been awakened six times in a seven hour stretch of the dark dead of night would say they were going to have a baby to make an ailing marriage better.

I don't know about you but my level of snappiness and impatience (with everyone, but my husband in particular) rises in direct proportion to how much or how little sleep I'm getting. When Daughter2 was a newborn there were many days I felt like I'd been steamrolled. Literally run over with a steam roller. I remember once bursting into tears at a family dinner, and my sister (who didn't have children at the time) asking why I was crying.  I screeched back, 'Because I've gone 56 nights in a row without more than two consecutive hours of uninterrupted sleep, that's why!!'

I was a delight.
Hubs was tired too.

He had a job with a long brutal commute, and gobs of travel. I was on my own a lot with a baby who didn't sleep and a toddler who wanted my attention. Hubs loved his girls to the moon and back, but I'm sure he was secretly grateful for a business trip with a quiet hotel stay every now and then.

I mean it with every fiber of my being when I say those early days of parenthood were glorious days, kissed by the sun and full of magic. But there were hours amidst the golden that were just plain hard, and those hours could feel neverending at times. Stress and beauty go hand in hand in the world of raising children, and not just when they're babies either. Kids get bigger and so do the demands of raising them. I think those late teen into early adult years might just be the most challenging of them all, yet in many ways they're also the most rewarding.

Parenting is best played as a team sport, because sometimes it's survival of the fittest-ha! In the early years divide and conquer works since you're bigger than your offspring, but rest assured as they grow and mature you will too. You'll discover where your hubs strengths and weaknesses lie in the parenting department, and he'll come to know yours. You zig and zag in a lifelong dance that requires gentle strength, finesse, and humor.

More than 25 years after we first marveled at our newborn baby girl, I still like the boy I married. That may sound a little silly to say, but it matters. A lot. There is great value in remaining connected as husband and wife apart from the bond you share as parents.

Because in what feels like all of a sudden, it's just the two of you again.

I'm pretty sure you never stop caring, loving, forgiving, guiding, praying and listening to your children. What those actions might look like in practice changes, but that well they cracked open inside of you is still wide open. Your heart remains ever exposed and vulnerable to your child's hopes and dreams and hurts and heartaches, even when that 'child' is 20-something. Or fifty-something my mom would say.

Easter, 1992

Being a parent has been the greatest joy of my life.
Parenting alongside my hubs has only made it sweeter.

Hijinks and Hilarity in the A-Z

We think we're funny.
And we are.
At least to us we are-ha!

To people outside these four walls maybe not so much, but it's what happens inside these four walls that's important. I knew in writing about the topic of marriage I would want to say something about humor, but what?

Hi Girls-

Marry men who have a sense of humor.

Love,
Mom

There. Done.

Okay, not really but pretty much. I mean if you have a sense of humor you understand this sentiment, and if you don't, well then it's likely you're scratching your head in bewilderment at this entire post.

As you live out the years of a marriage, you'll discover that some days are pure magic, and others are something less than that. The boy you adored on your wedding day? Well he's going to irritate you every once in a while. The good news is, if he's able to interject some humor into moments where the air is thick, then it's likely your irritation won't last. You might wish it would, but it's awfully hard to stay angry when laughter is bubbling to the surface.

Humor helps you remember why you loved him in the first place. 

In life there are situations that come up where we all take ourselves just a little bit too seriously. Having a spouse who helps you laugh at your own ridiculousness is a good thing. That isn't the same thing as one who laughs at you, which I don't believe is ever a good thing. But one who makes you laugh when you're overly tired, stressed, put upon, or hormonal? Yes that is a good thing.

Humor helps you regain perspective when it feels like the world is against you.  

It's safe to say that nobody leaves planet Earth without feeling hurt or disappointment from time to time. Humor can lift a road-weary spirit, make you smile when you feel like crying, remind you that even in the middle of something hard it still feels good to laugh.

Humor helps soothe life's sharp corners and rough edges. 

Then there are your children. Little beings you love more than life itself who occasionally do something requiring your super serious-I mean business-mom face when you confront them, but whose words and antics you and your spouse will laugh out loud over once they've gone to bed.

Words and antics you'll tell and re-tell through the years, around the dinner table, at assorted family gatherings. Where you'll say 'remember that time...' and everyone will nod and laugh at the memory of a shared experience.

Humor is bonding. 

Who else in this world can love and appreciate the funny little people who grow big under your roof besides the co-contributor to their DNA?

H is for Sense of Humor

Don't get married without one! 

G is for Go For the Gusto

If you're looking for the Hodgepodge questions, you'll find them here. 

So I'm something of a chicken. About a lot of things. This may surprise some of you reading here who take note of our international travels and our moving overseas with teenagers and our penchant for going-seeing-doing, but it's true. And you may wonder how a chicken copes.  

She marries a rooster, that's how.

And the rooster sometimes needs to grab his chicken by the arm (wing?) and say, 'You're going to love this!' 

And sometimes she does.  

Other times not so much, but at least she didn't miss it, right?

One of the things I've learned to appreciate about married life is the way hubs and I can approach new situations from opposite mindsets, and meet somewhere pretty close to the middle in a place that works for us. I think it's called compromise. Hubs no longer immediately leaps at all things new, and I resist immediately digging in my heels thereby forcing him to convince me xyz really will be a good thing.  

Hubs recognizes that sometimes my sense of caution is warranted.
I appreciate his spirit of adventure.

I would never have suggested we move overseas with children entering adolescence. I'm sure if I'd been given the offer, I would have allowed my initial reaction to rule the day.  My initial reaction went something like this-We can't do that. We've got teenagers. What about my job? What about high school? Driving? The Distance? The Metric System? The Adjusting? 

What about everything???

Without hubs encouragement, his confidence in our ability to work as a team, the way he says just what I need to hear in order to feel brave, well I would have missed the most fun adventure of my life so far.

I appreciate the way hubs not only participates in life, but embraces it wholeheartedly.

And he respects my need for a little more information, to see what something might look like before I commit.

As my daughters have become young adults I've realized that I want them to be more rooster than chicken. It took me until the age of 43 to truly understand that life is an adventure, and that adventure doesn't have to equal danger. When it does, then by all means be more chicken, but most opportunities that have come our way have not been physically dangerous. They've been mentally and emotionally challenging, experiences that have stretched and grown me in ways I'm glad I grew.

Sitting in suburbia its so easy for me to forget there's s a great big world out there. A world full of people and experiences and incredible beauty made by the One who holds it all in His hands. I want my daughters to know it's okay to put geography between us in order to follow God's path for their lives.  

That path may lead them to a house around the corner.

Or to a corner around the world.  

Somehow I think it will be more the latter, and while that is a little bit scary I'm honestly not afraid. I  know God has not only prepared my daughters for the lives they will live, He has also prepared me.

I'm thankful I married a rooster.
He helps me see there's an awful lot of living to be done outside the coop.

Innocence Remembered

Davy Jones passed away yesterday. If you're a member of the under 40 set you may have heard this piece of news and thought to yourself, "hmmm...Davy Jones? Wasn't he a character in Pirates of the Caribbean?' Yes he was but as we all know characters don't really pass away, they remain forever and always within the confines of a book or movie.

I'm talking about the Davy Jones. Davy Jones who sang vocals in a band popular back in the late 60's and early 70's known as The Monkees. Davy Jones who was a heartthrob of epic proportion. If you're part of the over 40 set and heard this news you may have felt a touch of sadness and a small wave of nostalgia for a more innocent time. Most women my age will tell you that in their once upon a life they dreamed of walking down the aisle with Davy Jones.

The Monkees were were one of the original 'boy bands' and they made records and had their own tv show. Davy also made a famous guest appearance on another show popular during my tween years which was The Brady Bunch. Marcia Brady had a bona fide crush on him and if you surveyed my peers you'd find pretty much all of them remember this particular episode. It aired in 1971. I was 11 years old and in the 5th grade

Do 5th grade girls still play Barbies because we did. My sister and I had quite a few and when friends joined in they'd pack up their Barbies in the original clunky-chunky black Barbie suitcase and carry them over to our house so we could really have a big game.

One of the things we liked to do was assign each Barbie a boyfriend and the three most fought over were Davy Jones, Bobby Sherman, and David Cassidy. This trio of 'teen idols' were all rather boyish in their looks, handsome and neatly dressed, with winning smiles and a twinkle in their eye. They sang pretty harmless stuff about love and life and nobody dropped the F-bomb into their lyrics or called women nasty and derogatory names or wore sunglasses indoors at night (puh-leese!) or talked gangsta when they most assuredly were not anything remotely close.

Oh they may have been dealing with all sorts of yucky stuff behind the scenes but they weren't tweeting it to the universe and they had no fan page on facebook because, duh, there was no facebook. We could innocently crush because if they were abusing drugs or had a foul mouth or demanded a bathtub full of Evian or their hotel room painted black before they'd agree to set foot inside or some other such ridiculousness we never heard about it.

And you know what?

I think that was better.

People like to make fun of that era and granted, the style trends make for an easy target, but I look around at this world sometimes and I long for eleven year old little girls to know the innocence I knew in 1971. There's something to be said for peeling back the layers of life one birthday at a time, to exploring your world bit by bit and not having the entire universe at your fingertips in a google search.

We can't go back. We can't undo technology and I'm not sure I'd even want to if given the chance. I use email daily, write a blog, and I'm on facebook and twitter so obviously I can appreciate some technology. Even so, it saddens me a little to think my future grandchildren will live in a world spinning faster and more furious than we do in the year 2012.

Some days I want to slow it down, add a filter, let us come to the world instead of the other way around.

Days like yesterday when something takes me back to 1971 and suddenly I'm face to face with the memory of my dad mowing the grass on a sunny Saturday morning. The smell of a barbecue grill and fireflies dancing in the dark. The sound of my sister's voice on the telephone, the one with the extra long chord made for stretching and twisting and wrapping as you talked. My brother on his guitar with his bedroom door slightly ajar. The giddy and glorious freedom I felt playing tag with the neighborhood kids in the dusky light of a late summers eve. A sister who was my constant companion and our suitcase full of Barbies.

Daydream believer and a homecoming queen. Imaginations running wild in the safe place called childhood.

...they are precious in His sight...

Ever thought about participating in Operation Christmas Child sponsored by Samaritan's Purse? You'll find details on their website but essentially it involves filling a shoebox full of little goodies to be sent to a child in need somewhere in the world. They ask for a $7 donation with your box to cover the cost of shipping and if you pay this online you'll get a bar code to print and attach to your box. This way you can track it and see where in the world it ends up. There are collection sites all around the world and you can find the one nearest you by visiting the Samaritan's Purse website.

I finished my box up last week so I could drop it off at church on Tuesday morning. You're able to choose the sex and age category you'd like to buy for and I chose a girl, aged 10-14. My box included a pink toothbrush and toothpaste, a pink soap dish and a bar of soap, a purple washcloth, candy, stickers, an inexpensive pink watch, a package of colored pencils and a sharpener, a fun little notebook, a mini etch a sketch, and six pair of cute socks. You are limited by what will fit inside a shoebox. I also added a photo of our family with a note which is optional.

I have thought and prayed often about the recipient of that little shoebox jammed full of 'stuff'. I think about my own daughters too. I think about what makes them smile and how much love is showered on them all year round but especially during the holidays. So many friends and relatives who show genuine interest in their lives and plans, their hopes and dreams...dreams that can easily become reality with some hard work and perseverance. Can the same be said of the little girl who gets this box? I think about the fact that we get a free toothbrush every six months at the dentist and how I toss them in a drawer for guests without giving it a second thought. I think about a purple washcloth bringing a smile to a young girl's face.

I love the season of Thanksgiving...it is my favorite holiday of the year. I like the time we spend focusing on all that we have as opposed to all that we want. While the shoeboxes are intended to be a Christmas project we fill them during this season of gratitude. Adding toothpaste to a Christmas box certainly helps put things in perspective for me at what is now the most 'commercial' time of year.

It's not too late to fill a box...collections run through Nov. 21st and even if you can't participate this year maybe you'll keep it in mind for 2012. Somewhere in this world a child will smile.

And the seasons they go round and round...

Tomorrow is the first official day of fall which happens to be the season I love best. I ran across a photo recently that's one of my all time favorites-

This picture was our Christmas card in 1991 and I've never forgotten that tree even though it was four houses and twenty years ago.

That's our dog Abbey...she's never been forgotten either.

She was abandoned as a puppy and we took her in back in 1986. To be honest German Shepherds used to scare me a little so that was not a breed I'd ever have picked but she needed a home and we had one. She had a lot of Collie in her too so there was definitely a hint of Lassie under all that fur.

She won me over and I couldn't help but love her back. We were living in the NJ countryside in 1991 (not the NJ countryside we're in now, but some nearby) and she was a most excellent watch dog. And I know this will shock you but the girls and I were home alone quite a bit in those days since hubs regularly traveled for work. Any criminal types would have had to go thru her to get to us so we knew we were safe.

I've also never forgotten the little girl outfits.

They came from Lands End and were so stinkin' cute I could hardly stand it.

Speaking of stinkin' cute...those faces!

Oh my.

If you look really closely you'll see that I have the grip of steel on Daughter2. She could get away quick when she put her mind to it which, I'll be honest, was pretty darn often. She has had laser like focus since the day of her birth, not unlike one of her parents who shall remain nameless but is not me. She is thirteen months old here.

Where oh where did my chubby cheeked baby go?

To college.

That's where.

Sigh.

Daughter1 looks happy, doesn't she? She's three years old in this picture and just recovering from a wicked and scary case of mononucleosis. Did you even know a three year old could get mono? I didn't.

Motherhood: learn as you go.

Shall we discuss my hairband or my matching top and pants outfit or how about my very large hair? How about we don't?

Instead let's talk about the tree.

Can a tree show off because this one did.

She wore her red dress and danced in the golden light of a sun kissed autumn day.

And when she danced life slowed a little.

It slowed so we could see light changing in the afternoon sky.

We tucked hands in pockets.

We smelled the damp dark earth settling down for a nap.

We sipped warm cider and snuggled close.

What is it about fall that plucks the chord of memory so?

Like Magic

Last weekend hubs and I took a road trip that passed thru a portion of The Buckeye State. That's Ohio for anyone who doesn't know state nicknames and once upon a time we lived in this state. It was in Ohio, on a long ago day in June, that I celebrated one of the happiest days of my life. It was in this state that I became a mother.

I have never written down my girl's birth stories although they've heard them told over and over again, but as we made our way across Ohio I started thinking that I'd like to put their stories down in writing. I wish I'd done it back in the day but better late than never, right? Daughter2 has a birthday coming up in the very, very near future so I will tell her story then. She was born in The Empire State. Anyone? All mothers have birth stories to tell and I realize they are not really all that interesting to anyone other than the people in them so consider yourself warned.

Hubs and I had been married four years before we welcomed Daughter1 into our family. We were living in Richmond Virginia when I got pregnant and we had no reason to think she would be born somewhere else, certainly not in a large Midwestern city. I had been working as a speech pathologist in the Richmond City Schools for three years and we had a cute house in a planned community in a little suburb called Midlothian. Somewhere around month six hubs was offered a promotion and we were asked to relocate to Columbus Ohio. And so it was that in April of 1988 we bought a brand new house and took our pup and my pregnant self to a city where we knew not a single solitary soul.

Our house was in a brand new subdivision and it had mud for a yard. They were going to lay sod but needed winter to end first. Being seven months pregnant + a big German shepherd pup + mud for a yard= good times. Do you know what else = good times? Moving to a brand new city where the only person you now know is your realtor and less than two weeks after arriving you are diagnosed with toxemia. You are put in the hospital for four days and told every day you might have the baby but she is far too small. You are then sent home to lay on your left side 24/7 for the remainder of your pregnancy. You are allowed up to go to the bathroom, the doctor, and the first few Lamaze classes but eventually even that is deemed too risky so its back to bed and onto your left side.

Let me back up and tell you that to say my hubs was excited about the impending arrival of his first child would quite possibly be the understatement of the century. He told everyone he knew and he literally walked on air for months. He was way beyond excited and although we did not find out the sex of our baby we were certain 'it' was a she. We immediately agreed on a girl's name and more or less on a boy's name although we weren't too concerned about that because we were certain 'it' was a she.

The first week I was confined to bed hubs was a champion. He could not do enough for me, bringing me meals and snacks and fluffing the pillows and walking right beside me when I had to get up. Yeah. That kind of thing wears off after a while. By week three I was reminding him I needed lunch made before he headed out to work. Our realtor was a lovely woman named Irene. She was nothing like the hurricane though...calm and soft spoken and so kind. She checked on me often and said to call in an emergency and she would come. Keep in mind hubs was trying to learn a new role, needed to travel the state, and our house was not completely unpacked from the move.

It was about a month into the bed rest that my mother came to the rescue. Hubs had to take an out of town trip and I couldn't be left alone so my mom came out for a week. She waited on me hand and foot, cooked wonderful meals, and washed and put away all the newborn clothes so the nursery would be ready. I was in desperate need of some mothering myself and she gave me just what I needed.

The weeks passed and every time I'd see my doctor, which was no less than four times a week, he'd say I should be prepared to deliver early. With every visit my blood pressure would sky rocket and I'd see black spots in front of my eyes and they'd make me lay on my left side in the Dr's office to see if it would come down before they'd let me go back home. I was pasty white and extremely thin for a woman who was nine months pregnant. My doctor ordered me to drink a milkshake every night (Can you imagine?!!) and I did, but still I only gained 17 pounds and they were concerned. I spent a lot of hours laying in bed, talking to my soon to be born daughter and also having regular conversations with God. I'm pretty sure there was some bargaining happening too.

Do you know I went all the way up to my due date before going into labor? The Drs. were really happy about that and so on the morning I was due my water broke and off we went to the hospital. I was considered a high risk patient and was immediately hooked up to IVs and monitors and blah blah blah. People were in and out of my room all the live long day. Pregnancy and childbirth reduces your level of modesty into the negative digits doesn't it?

I was given Pitocin (blech!) and spent the rest of the day in labor. I was eventually given an epidural and late in the evening I was taken into an operating room in case an emergency delivery became necessary. Hubs was annoyingly upbeat and beaming from ear to ear. At one point during labor I squeezed his hand so hard that he dared to mention it. I know! The operating room was huge and I remember hubs saying if I pushed a little harder she could still arrive on her due date. I'm sure you can guess how well that went over.

Daughter1 made her entry into this world a few minutes after midnight the day after she was due. She looked perfectly perfect and was breathing but did not make a sound. She stared right at the doctor and he said, "You know, you're supposed to cry" and so she did. Her temperament was captured in that single moment. I remember her being placed on my chest and the way she looked me right in the eye. We studied one another. I was not expecting this tiny little newborn baby to be so alert but with just one look I knew my heart would never ever be the same.

The nurse called out from the other side of the room asking if we had a name. Hubs gave it to her and the nurse said the name aloud. When she did that my baby turned her head and looked at the nurse. The nurse said, "Wow-it's like she already knows her name." It's funny to think about that now because this child has always been so in touch with people and how they are feeling. She senses when you need a smile or a hug or a kind word. I really do think she came into the world that way.

We stayed in the hospital for three days since I continued to have some issues from the toxemia but eventually we took our baby home. My parents came and stayed for a week and then my in laws came to stay and all the many aunts and uncles also made their way to Ohio throughout the summer to ooh and ahh and love on our little girl. Daughter1 ate well, slept well, and almost never ever cried. She was positively the most content child I have ever in my life known. I know I'm her mother so there is a certain bias but honestly, everyone who came in contact with her said the same.

We loved showing our girl off. We took long walks around the neighborhood and made friends with a family around the corner who had a little boy a few months older. We also spent some time with a couple we met thru our Lamaze class who lived nearby and whose son was born a few days after Daughter1.

We played in a nearby park, ate world famous cream puffs at Schmidts Sausage Haus, and spent hours just watching our daughter. Is it bad that I remember the cream puffs?

It was a year of firsts...smiles, words, steps...a year of seeing the world bathed in the softness of a golden pink light. Of inspecting rocks and grass and a little girls' thumb. A year of Beatrix Potter and a blanket forevermore known as lubbie. It was a song. "Good morning, good morning, good morning little one." It was a year of noticing life's smallest moments...a year filled with peace and gratitude and sheer unadulterated joy. It was the year that love spilled over into every corner of my soul.

Almost exactly one year to the day from the date we moved west, hubs was given another promotion and we were asked to relocate to Northern New Jersey. We bought another house and Daughter1 and I moved in with my parents for a month until we could close on the new place. Hubs office was a couple of hours from my folks so he drove back and forth one night a week and every weekend during that month. We decided then and there that we would never again agree to be separated for that amount of time during a move.

We celebrated Daughter1's first birthday at my parent's home and then my brother's wedding just a few days later. Then she grew up and got a job in a big city and her own apartment and life.

Okay okay... I know a lot of stuff happened in between but sometimes it feels like we went from sleeping in a bassinet to riding the DC metro in the blink of an eye. And if you asked me to describe that very first year of motherhood one word comes to mind...that word is magical.