We're not in Kansas A-ny-more

I've been reading about Senior Class trips on quite a few blogs in recent weeks and that has me thinking about the trips my girls took as high school seniors. I'm sure some folks reading here will gasp and shake their heads and question my wisdom in allowing their participation in these trips. To be honest, if you'd told me before I moved overseas about some of the travel I'd be okay with I'd have said you were crazy.

If you're a regular reader here you know my girls attended high school in England. An international school comprised of students from over 50 countries. A melting pot of cultures, religions, traditions, customs, beliefs, and nationalities.

As I discovered pretty quickly after moving to Europe with a just turned 15 year old and an almost 13 year old, 'kids' are viewed as adults at a much earlier age than they are here in America. They ride public transport alone in the elementary years, take gap years to work and travel around the globe before heading off to university, and in many countries must commit to a career path before they can even be admitted to a university program. In America many, if not most, kids go off to college and eventually come to a decision about a career. Some graduate still not knowing what they want to do.

One of the things (there's quite a list actually) that caught me off guard in those first few months in England was the notion of chaperones. In the US we don't send high school kids on so much as two hour field trip without an army of chaperones and an FBI check. Less than one week after arriving in England my then 8th grader went on a three day pony trekking trip to Wales with her entire grade (60 kids). Their teachers went along too but no parents. No one- adult-for-every-four-kids sort of plan. They kinda looked at me funny in the Middle School office when in my jet lagged stupor I asked the school secretary about chaperones. "Oh sure" she said, 'The four subject teachers are going." Alrighty then.

Flash forward three years and umpteen school trips later. Daughter1 had been to Poland with a theatre group, lived with a complete stranger in Provence for a week, stayed in a hostel in Berlin with her fellow art students, explored Barcelona with a few classmates on another art trip, spent a weekend in Terazin, the former Concentration camp an hour outside of Prague, again with her theatre group, not to mention two trips to Romania with Young Life, both involving 14+hour bus rides thru the mountains of Transylvania. Parents did not attend any of the school trips.

A week before her high school graduation Daughter1 and her classmates took their Senior Trip. They spent a week beachside at an all inclusive resort in Side, Turkey. There were no adults present. Well, other than the kids most of whom were 18.

Did I like this?

Even after three years of world travel a part of me hated the very idea of it. This was my little girl we were talking about. But another part of me was so excited for my daughter. And I suppose a small part of me wished I were 18 years old and on my way to a beach in Turkey with friends.

Did I worry?

Some. It comes quite naturally to me but God in His infinite wisdom used those years in England to teach me a few things in this department.

Did I pray fervently each and every day?

Absolutely.

Did they all come back in one piece.

Yes.

Could something have happened?

Sure.

Here's the thing-something can always happen. I'm not implying we don't do our very best to protect our children but somewhere along the way they need to develop independence. Travel, especially foreign travel, is huge in this regard. Three short months after this trip I would be kissing my little girl goodbye as she settled into her dorm room on one side of the ocean while I winged my way back to our home on the other side of the ocean. It was in large part her high school experience that elevated her confidence to a level that allowed her to embrace and enjoy this new and exciting, but slightly scary, experience called college. Me too.

Two years later and daughter2's turn rolled around.

Aiya Napa Cyprus this time.

I still have never been to Cyprus.

Or Turkey for that matter.

Five years of travel under our belts now but still, it's my baby.

Daughter2 entered this world with an independent streak but swim meets in Cairo and Paris and Volleyball matches in Antwerp and Frankfut and a week spent living with a stranger in Santiago de Compostela Spain, and two trips to Romania and two more to Bulgaria with Young Life all helped boost and cement her natural confidence.

Three short months after her week in Cyprus there I was again, kissing my baby goodbye on one continent and flying back across the ocean to a newly empty nest. As kids enter the young adult years we are not ever present in the physical sense but I suspect (and hope) that I am ever present in their head. That I have passed along wisdom and good judgement and most importantly a desire to know God's will for their lives and to follow Him.

They took those senior trips and made memories. They also made decisions, some excellent and some that were maybe something less than excellent, but then that's how we learn and grow and become adults. We parents go merrily along our way, raising our children and then BAM, what feels like all of a sudden, we're there...at the crossroad where childhood and adulthood intersect. I think successful parenting means there will come a point when we have to extract ourselves from some aspects of our children's lives and trust that we've given them what they need to meet the challenges of adulthood.

I know there will be people reading this who will think -No way! People who will say 'never! ever! ever! would I allow my 'kids' to traipse around the globe like you did.' All I can say is once upon a time I was that parent. But that was before I was standing smack dab in the middle of opportunities that I never imagined would cross our radar. Would I hold on ever so tightly to children who over time had become more adult than child? Would I keep trying to make an imperfect world a perfect place or would I begin gently releasing them into a world that is less than perfect but which is held in place by One who is perfect? Would I move from the spot I'd held since their births, front and center, to a place beside and behind? No less important a role, still an encourager, sounding board, voice of reason and experience, and their biggest fan?

My girls will tell you that one of the phrases uttered most often around our house during their teen years was this-'perception matters'. Whether you're alone in a crowd of friends on a beach in Cyprus or on a college campus an ocean away from all that you call home, it matters. Perception matters. I'm sure as they are reading that sentence they hear my voice saying it. I like that.

I've never been a parent who goes along with everything under the sun because its the latest thing. I pray long and hard about things large and small in this adventure we call parenting. And it is an adventure. I'm thankful every day for the many life lessons we all learned while living abroad. As it turned out God had more than a few things to say to me.

I had no idea.

Lucky You It's Time for the Wednesday Hodgepodge

Welcome to the Wednesday Hodgepodge. Everyone's invited to play along...answer the questions on your own blog, add your link at the bottom of my post, and then check out what your neighbors have to say. After you read my answers of course-

1. St. Patrick's Day will be celebrated this coming Saturday. What's a favorite article of clothing you own that contains a touch o' the green?

I love green, its one of my favorite colors especially in decorating. I guess my favorite wearable green is a scarf I own with lots of green, orange and yellow in the print.

2. What's a favorite 'green space' in the town, state or province where you live?

I've written about Highpoint NJ on my blog before....definitely one of my favorite green spaces in our state.

There is more green space in New Jersey than one might imagine if ones only picture of NJ comes from watching programs like Jersey Shore, Jerseylicious, or Glam Fairy. Ugh.

fyi-nothing beats the green space in England...

I strolled thru here every day on my walk into town and that's just one little itty bitty village. They know how to do green space across the pond.

Sigh.

3. Do you wish you were taller, shorter, or think you're just about right in the height department?

I like my height. I'm on the tall side of average. Now if you substituted the word weight for height I might have a different answer.

4. What's the surest way for someone to pick a fight with you?

I'm not a confrontational person so it would have to be something pretty significant. I'm more likely to have my feelings hurt than to argue back.

Unless I'm married to you and then I may feel the need to have that last word on occasion. I think I'm still a work in progress.

5. Broccoli-spinach-string beans-peas...of the four your favorite green veg? (Or the one you dislike the least if that first option is too hard for you. I know there are some veggie haters out there).

I love them all but string beans are my favorite veg, green or otherwise.

6. March is National Women's History Month...besides friends, neighbors, and the women you're related to, who's a woman in history you admire and why?

Corrie ten Boom

If you've haven't read The Hiding Place I highly recommend. I read her story when I was a young girl and it has stayed with me all my life. She was a woman of amazing courage and her well of faith ran deep. She forgave, up close and in person, people who committed unspeakable acts against her family and the world. She had such wisdom too...my favorite quote is attributed to Corrie ten Boom-'Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.'

7. Keep calm and ___________on.

You fill in the blank.

Keep calm and write on.

Something of a mantra for me this year.

8. Insert your own random thought here.

Spring is in the air and I am loving these temps! Course its only March and it has been known to snow in March in this part of the country. April too but shhh!...don't say that out loud. Sunday afternoon the thermometer hit 50 degrees and bright sunny clear blue skies made the day feel full of possibility. We spent the afternoon here, lounging round our backyard firepit-

It was a perfectly perfect way to spend an almost spring day.

Hubs and I were not the only ones who thought so.

"It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want-oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache you want it so!~Mark Twain

Questions for the Hodgepodge- Vol 70

Below you'll find the questions for this week's Wednesday Hodgepodge. Pop back in here tomorrow to post your link and share answers with all the lucky readers.

1. St. Patrick's Day will be celebrated this coming Saturday...what's a favorite article of clothing you own that contains a touch o' the green?

2. What's a favorite 'green space' in the town, state, or province where you live?

3. Do you wish you were taller, shorter, or think you're just about right in the height department?

4. What's the surest way for someone to pick a fight with you?

5. Broccoli-Spinach-String Beans-Peas...of the four, your favorite green veg? (Or the one you dislike the least if that first option's too hard. I just know there's some veggie haters out there.)

6. March is National Women's History Month...besides friends, neighbors and the women you're related to, who's a woman in history you admire and why?

7. Keep Calm and ____________on.

You fill in the blank.

8. Insert your own random thought here.

Reminiscing

When I say Reminiscing I'm talking about the song.

Well likely a bit of remembering too because there's always a lot of that on my blog, but mostly I'm thinking of the song.

It's been playing in my head since Friday night when we went to see Little River Band perform in a nearby smallish venue. I love to see/hear live music in these types of settings and we were on the third row so super close to the stage. We chatted with the other couples in our row while waiting for the show to begin and since this was our first time in the venue a woman sitting nearby warned us it would be loud. Ha. We're okay with loud. I might like to play my music kinda loud. ahem. My girls are laughing right about now.

fyi-it wasn't too loud.

Little River Band was originally a group of musicians from Australia who were popular in the late 1970's and early 80's. Even if you don't recognize the band name you probably know some of their music. Band members have changed some in the course of 30 years but their wonderful sound remains the same.

Wait.

30 years?

That can't be right, can it?

Has it really been 30 years since I was in my lovely dorm room with the built in bunk bed and the cinder block wall and no a.c. listening to Little River Band on something that was not a CD because there was no such thing as a CD?

Nothing in that last sentence dates me, does it?

One thing did make us feel a little bit old. As I said the venue was not huge, a former movie theater with the screens removed to make way for a good sized stage. Most of the crowd was our age, give or take ten years. A couple who appeared to be just a few years younger than us took the seats across the aisle from ours. They were reluctantly accompanied by their tween-aged son who so obviously wanted to be anywhere but there on a Friday night in March. Oh, he was not a happy camper.

How did we know this? Well, let's see, it might have been the fact that he was the only under-25 in attendance, the surly look on his face, the slouch, or quite possibly it was the eye daggers aimed at mom and dad.

Fortunately when he dressed for the evening he anticipated a little bit of what he was in for because when his mama literally leapt out of her seat and ran to the stage and hmmm...how to say this nicely?....shook her groove thing? he was able to pull his hoodie completely over his face. If there had been a hole in the floor he'd have been in it.

His mother was o-bli-vi-ous.

I think she was a lost in 1980 for a minute or ten.

Nothing like watching that to remind you you're not 20 anymore.

One other little fun thing about the evening was that we got to meet the keyboard player...such a nice guy and so talented. Good hair too which is something held in high regard at our house.

Turns out he's from tiny town Virginia and one of our college pals is a mutual friend. This friend sent the keyboard player a facebook message saying we'd be at the show so he looked for us afterwards and we chatted. This wouldn't have happened back in 1980 ya know. We'd have had to stalk the band the old fashioned way.

Time marches on.

It was a fun evening and we were both a little bit hoarse on Saturday.

I'm pretty sure I heard my hubs invite the band to stay at our house next time they're here.

I told you I have to watch him every minute.

Some things never change.

A walk in the park and then some

Sunday afternoon we ventured out for a walk with the dog. I have a website I use to find hikes within 30 miles of our house and it's great because it includes the length and difficulty and also the approximate time required to complete different hikes in the area. In addition, hikers who have taken the various hikes leave helpful notes relating to any issues they ran into along the way. Comments like, 'Lovely walk around the reservoir, didn't make it to the other side as we encountered two bear and felt the need to turn around.'

Like I said-helpful.

Now normally hubs and I are on the same page with this sort of thing but on Sunday it seems we were not. We were both prickly. Actually, hubs was prickly and I responded in kind. He may dispute this point but suffice it to say moodiness was plentiful when we started out.

He was not too keen on this destination from the get-go but I didn't pick up on that until we were en route. Normally hubs is not one to beat around the bush, that's my department. He's more of a tell it like it is kind of guy except for some reason on Sunday he wasn't. Or maybe he was and I neglected to listen which is also a possibility to consider but I'm telling the story so we'll go with my take on the whole thing.

Which always ends well so don't you worry.

We didn't have the sat nav with us so we were winging it a little and as we got closer we could tell this hike wasn't for us. Okay, maybe hubs could tell long before we got close and then when we got close there may have been a little I told you so but whatever, there was too much suburb and not enough woods and space.

Not only that but we couldn't figure out the crazy parking which only made one of us more irritated. We turned around and drove back towards home, each one feeling disappointed and annoyed with the other. It doesn't make sense but that's how married life is sometimes.

It's quite often the little things.

As we were zipping along in our respective silences we noticed a sign with an arrow pointing to a lake and at the last minute hubs turned off and asked if I'd 'seen any trails in this area' and... 'remember when we lived in NJ a long time ago and I used to go to the office this way' and 'there's a sign for a bear crossing!' and giggles and 'oh shoot, I wish I had a picture of the sign' and ever so slowly the tension in the car began to ebb. We wound around and around and over and through, away from the edges and back to the middle. While it wasn't where we thought we were going we did end up in a really beautiful place.

That's also how married life is sometimes.

The trees parted as we came round a bend and there sat Ringwood Manor which has a long history dating back to our #1 President-

Let's not forget to mention the fabulous grounds with plenty of geese to chase-

We rambled and peeked and photographed and as the clock ticked we found our way back to our everyday normal.

Lenape Indians once lived in this area and nothing would make my hubs happier than to stumble across an artifact from those days. They're still finding what the park service refers to as 'new old roads of historical significance' in this park so ya just never know, do you?

We stood where George Washington stood and we thought about that for a while. Ringwood Manor was at one time home to Robert Erskine who managed three iron making plantations from this location and went on to become the army's first geographer and surveyor and General Washington's mapmaker.

I love finding a small slice of history pie on a Sunday afternoon in March.

We laughed at our crazy wannabe circus dog and decided to extend the day, taking the long way home. Suddenly it didn't matter that we weren't sure of our precise location and when or if we'd hit the main highway. We felt our way back...around the lake, thru a little village, stopping for a late afternoon meal, and then finally pulling back into our own driveway.

When you've been married for many years and you're feeling cranky, blah, or just inexplicably touchy its easy to use a sharp tone. It's equally easy to use no tone...to somehow expect your other half to read your mind, know what you're feeling and act accordingly. Doesn't work that way.

Will I never learn?

We have choices. Every minute of every hour of every day.

When moodiness rolls in I tend to like to wallow in it for a while.

Not attractive I know, but there it is.

Hubs does not wallow. He likes to put it all out there. No holds barred but then let's move on.

I've learned thru the years that little things in married life are not really so little. Those are the kinds of things that wind up pinging around inside your brain. Little things need to be dealt with before they pile up because we all know what happens when stuff gets stacked too high.

Did you know swans generally mate for life?

Thankfully so did we.

I love that my husband can make me laugh even when I want so badly to be mad. He knows that's what I need to shake a mood. I know that's what I need too, even when I'm too stubborn to admit it.

Sometimes married life really is a walk in the park.

Roaring into the Wednesday Hodgepodge-Volume 69

Last week we were leaping, this week we're roaring. I need some new metaphors but welcome anyway to the Wednesday Hodgepodge. Answer the questions on your own blog and then add your link to the bottom of my post. Once you've done that you're ready to visit around the neighborhood. Enjoy!

1. Did March come in like a lion or was it something less ferocious in your neck of the woods?

Something slightly less ferocious. We had a little bit of snow on the last day of February but everything had melted by the the time March rolled in.

2. Speaking of lions, which one's your film favorite...The Cowardly Lion (Wizard of Oz), Mufasa (The Lion King), Elsa (Born Free) or Alex (Madagascar). You might notice I left Aslan off the list. Including him would have made this question way too easy for many of you.

I can relate a little bit to the Cowardly Lion who learns that acting in the face of fear is what makes one brave. And I admire the father in Mufasa...'I'm only brave when I have to be.' But if I have to choose a favorite I'm going with Elsa. Mostly because that movie takes me back to my childhood. Made me long for the wide open spaces of Africa and a pet lion cub.

3. What's your favorite spot from which to view the sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise?

My front porch~

c. 2009

Sunset?

The water~

c. 2001

4. To what extent is knowledge power and to what extent is truth power? What's the difference?

Wowza, this question requires some unraveling. Having knowledge as opposed to being in the dark certainly arms one with a certain amount of power in certain situations. Raising teenagers springs to mind.

That being said, knowledge may just be a fancy way of saying information. It's really what you do with the knowledge you have that can make you powerful.

As far as truth and power...truth can never be refuted nor does it ever need retracting...the truth is what sets us free and that's powerful.

5. What's something peculiar you've seen recently?

We were in Central Park not long ago and were greeted by this sculpture-

It's 30 feet high and is called 'Tornado'. There was a lengthy explaination posted as to its significance but in the end I saw old rubber tires. Me thinks one man's peculiar is another man's art.

6. Bottled water...your thoughts?

Who else loves the Brita commercial where the lady gives the Eskimo water and tells him it comes from a drinking fountain at the mall like that's something special? So funny.

I don't buy cases of bottled water but I do like to keep some in the frig for convenience sake when we hike. We have filtered water in our frig so its easy to fill up a reusable bottle too. The water in our neck of the woods is super hard and although we have a purifier it doesn't always keep up with the job. I only use filtered water in my coffee maker, otherwise it turns spotty. We could just drink our water right out of the tap and that's true for most of America. I think this is an area where marketing campaigns have ruled the day and successfully convinced us we need bottled water.

7. What's your strongest sense?

Sight. I'm a visual person and of all the senses this is the one I'd miss the most.

8. Insert your own random thought here.

The lion question got me to thinking about the movie, Born Free and it seemed appropriate to post this clip here-

The music in that film was so hauntingly beautiful....the lyrics were lovely too. The couple, George and Joy Adamson, who raised Elsa from a tiny cub, sadly died violent deaths. My sister and I loved this movie when we were kids and my own girls loved it too. An African safari is still on my bucket list.

Complete and Utter Madness

If you're looking for this week's Hodgepodge Questions you'll find them here.

Once upon a time I enjoyed following political races and listening to healthy debate. With every passing year and election cycle my enthusiasm has waned until I've gotten to a place where I can barely stand to glance at the headlines. I'm not sure healthy debate even exists in the land of the free and the home of the brave anymore and that makes me so sad.

I turn on the news and the shouting and the arrogance and everyone talking all at the same time gives me such a knot in my stomach I have to hit the mute button, turn it off, walk away. Does anyone listen or does everyone just talk? No need to answer that.

When I hear political ranting I sometimes feel like I'm at a Jr. High lunch table. If these grown adults were my children I'd send them all to their rooms. Just like a 7th grade child who misbehaves they'd be grounded from doing anything more than going to work and coming home. No microphones, websites, talk show circuits. Also included in this mess would be the people who speak on behalf of our elected officials, those who are sent out to do the dirty work, i.e., say the nasty comment, condescend, show the smug face, shake their head at the 'poor uninformed masses'.

We've lost the notion of common courtesy, not just in politics but in America in general. People zealously defend their points of view by attacking with great gusto anyone who dares to differ. The elevator heads straight to the basement too, the lowest place possible, with words like fool, intolerant, and bigot. Remember when those words were reserved for people who really were those things, not just for those with whom you disagreed? The dialogue (I use the term loosely) in recent years has morphed us into a society that has lost its ability, or maybe its will, to come up with solutions to very real and serious problems.

Unless you live under a rock you've no doubt heard been bombarded by the latest brouhaha revolving around a well known radio talk show host and something he said on air. What began as a hearing on whether or not the federal government could legally require religious hospitals/schools to provide contraception and abortion services under the new health care guidelines has deteriorated into some of the most disgusting rhetoric ever. I'm not going to debate here the original issue and I'm certainly not defending the language used by the radio personality but what I will say is this-whatever happened to the original issue? Where did it go? Its been completely lost in all the bickering, name calling, and aggressive co-opting of the discussion for political gain. And so it goes.

A radio personality is not the equivalent of a US Senator or our President. Neither is a pro ball player, an actor, or a circus clown. A radio personality in America can say whatever they want and people can listen or not, change the station, stage a protest, write letters, pull advertising blah blah blah. We're stuck with our elected officials and they are held to a higher standard than a 'celebrity'. Or at least they should be. After all, we pay their salaries. And while I'm on the subject of celebrity, when did we stop thinking for ourselves and start caring so very much about who some current or former politician or other 'famous' person is supporting for office? Think America!

For the most part I steer clear of politics on my blog, and definitely on my facebook page. I really dislike reading anything political on facebook-blech!. Lately my head has felt like it just might explode if I don't scold someone. Politics has descended into madness and I'm not sure we can find our way back. Unless reason and civility return to public discourse I'm afraid we never will.

This post is linked to the One Word Carnival hosted by Peter Pollack.

Go here to read more posts on today's prompt-'madness'.