Pickin' and Grinnin'

It's never a good thing to wake up on a Monday morning thinking, "We just need to make it til Friday and then we can catch up." We. are. tired. When you're us, weekends away are rarely quiet and this one was no exception.

Our plan was to leisurely make our way down to Maryland on Friday, arriving in plenty of time to collect daughter2 from the Baltimore airport. Hubs however, received an email on Thursday night that needed to be dealt with, from his office, so we sidetracked around that way before heading out. It seems like nothing around here moves from Point A to Point B. There are always points J-Q-X stuck in there somewhere needing to be worked around.

I digress. We did manage to get to the airport about an hour before daughter 2's flight arrived, and as is also typical for us, a very good friend we've known for over 20 years happened to be waiting on a flight in the Baltimore airport. He doesn't live in Maryland but was in town for a meeting so we had fun chatting while he waited for his own flight to board and we waited for our baby.

Our baby who is almost 22 but is still our baby.

Daughter2 exited the arrival gate and does anyone else with adult children know what I mean when I say my heart does a little flippy dance when I see her walking towards me? It does. A mom was waiting beside us with an infant and a toddler, and the toddler went running into her Daddy's arms when he came thru the gate.

Not so very long ago I was that mom and hubs was that dad.

Now we're on this side of the gate and a fully grown adult child is walking out to meet us.

I think I just heard Joni Mitchell singing in my head.

Back to the present...we were spending Friday night with friends in Annapolis and daughter1 was meeting us there after work. Once she arrived we jumped back in the car to meet our old across-the-street neighbors at a local pizza restaurant.

My girls had not seen these kids in several years, but the five of them essentially spent all their elementary school years in our yard or theirs. They are the chalk house, Little Tyke car, swinging, biking, kickball playing, snowman building, waiting for the bus kind of friends.

And they are all grown up.

It happened when we weren't looking.

Daughter2 hadn't been in Maryland except to drive thru in almost 5 years and her one request was for crabs. Our timetable was kinda tight but since she has gone from graduation to working long hours while simultaneously attending grad school, she hasn't had much down time this summer. We were gonna get her those crabs!

A friend of hers from high school in England is living in the Baltimore area so we invited him to meet us for lunch Saturday at the absolute best place in the whole world to get crabs -Cantler's Riverside Inn which sits on Mill Creek near Annapolis.

I'm not kidding...best in the world.

You should know too, that eating crabs is serious business.

After lunch we zipped over to wedding-ville to check into our hotel and grab long showers. Crab lunch + evening wedding=serious showers. Just sayin'.

The beautiful bride and her family are very special friends...

She and daughter1 met in 2nd grade and our families connected right off the bat and have stayed connected all these many years later. Other old special friends were also in attendance so it was a fun, fun night.

And you know when I say 'old' I mean long-time, not really old, right?

Here we are picking the mother of the bride's brain-

It's important stuff for moms who have daughters of their own, ya know!

Daughter1 and the bride's mom are kindred spirits. They share the crafty gene and a love of JoAnn Fabrics.

When hubs and I married all weddings were mostly alike. A somewhat traditional service and a predictable reception. Even the invitations were somewhat standard with only slight variations in font and design. Weddings are so much fun now, each one a little bit different and careful attention is given to the small details and personal touches.

The father's toast which came on the heels of the father daughter dance just about sends my hubs right over the edge.

The bride was absolutely stunning and beaming from ear to ear. The newlyweds enjoyed their special day and we all chatted and dined and danced the night away.

My girls were thrilled to have a weekend together. They are thick as thieves and miss living in the same town.

Makes my own heart so happy to see them standing side by side.

They are just too adorable for words.

Here we have the Spice Girls reunited...you'll have to click on the link to get the back story but suffice it to say, this was as close to a 'pose' as I could get.

This 'boy' went to elementary school with daughter2 and she hadn't seen him in over 10 years. When you move a lot and go back to visit your past, time does funny things. I remember him getting into mischief in the 2nd grade. Now he wears a tie and is going to work for an investment firm.

Huh?

Sunday morning dawned too early. Literally. Daughter2 had to be deposited at the airport at 8:45 am which meant getting up and out of the hotel almost as soon as our heads had hit the pillows. It was another 'drive by weekend' with our girls but we take what we can get.

I will say though, I think we have mastered the art of packing a whole lot of life into less than 48 hours.

Looking Through the Eyes of Love

Since it's Thursday and I'm attending a wedding this weekend I thought it would be fun to link up with Thursday Thirteen and list thirteen things I remember about my own wedding day.

1. My girls used to love looking at my wedding album. I think they still do. Fun fact-my photographer was just starting out back when I was planning my wedding. I had seen a picture he'd snapped somewhere and took a chance. He was working out of his garage when I met him and the summer after my wedding he put my album on display in a big bridal show in Knoxville. These days he is one of the most sought after photographers in the Knoxville and surrounding area and needs to be booked months in advance.

Needless to say, he is not working out of his garage a.ny.more.

2. We were married on June 16th, 1984. It was one of the hottest days on record. I wonder if that's when my obsession with the weather began?

3. Although I was from New Jersey we got married at hub's church in Tennessee. We were both living there at the time and most of our friends were in the area or within easy driving distance. The pastor of my church in NJ helped officiate which was special.

4. The morning of the ceremony hubs went to breakfast with his parents and then started to drive off with his shoes on top of the car. Not much makes him nervous but I guess he was feeling it a little that day.

5. I had six bridesmaids plus my maid of honor...my two sisters and hubs sister, along with four of my college besties.

They wore long PEACH gowns. Peach was a soft quiet color back in 1984 but it kinda shouts today. Oh the 80's loved her pastels and big puffy sleeves, didn't she? My own dress had big puffy sleeves too.

My wedding dress was professionally boxed up after the ceremony and has been moving around the country and even across the pond with us for the past 28 years. When my girls are ready to marry I'm going to open it up and see how it looks. I've told them they can cut it up or have it remade or use the veil or just try it on if they want. They will definitely want to try it on. They still like nothing better than playing 'dress up'.

Oh, and my mom's dress was gorgeous. She did not wear big puffy sleeves.

6. Hubs dad was his best man and he had six groomsmen/ushers. His two brothers, my brother, and three of his college besties. Except they didn't refer to one another as besties.

Even though they were.

7. I had been to a wedding show in a lovely little home store in the town where my inlaws lived and that's where I saw 'my bouquet'. It was made up of big white orchids and so different from anything else I'd seen.

I knew right away that was what I wanted and my attendants carried smaller versions. I still think they're beautiful.

8. A friend of my sister's sang at our wedding. She had the most amazing voice. In keeping with our color scheme she wore a peach and white sundress.

Sometimes I miss you 1984.

She sang three songs-The Wedding Song by Paul Stookey, Looking Through the Eyes of Love which was aka the theme from Ice Castles (don't laugh-it was the 80's and it's still a pretty song) and then a song called Together , written by Roger Strader. I have looked and looked for that song recorded somewhere online but I can't find it anywhere. The lyrics were absolutely perfect.

9. I did not walk down the aisle to Here Comes the Bride. Shocking! I walked to Trumpet Voluntary in D Major by Henry Purcell. That's the same music Princess Diana used but that isn't why I chose it. I chose it because it's beautiful. As we were about to take our first step down the aisle my dad looked at me and said, " Are you ready?", and all of a sudden my stomach started doing flip flops.

This picture makes me miss my dad. I look like I'm about to burst into tears here but I pulled it together for the walk.

10. Hubs would say this list isn't complete without me mentioning the fact that I forgot to blow out the candle on my side when we lit the unity candle. I was feeling a little giddy at that point.

11. This is one of my favorite pictures from the day-

...my sister and I peeking around the corner into the sanctuary for a look at the groom.

12. Our reception was in a hotel ballroom and was mostly finger foods, heavy hors d'oeuvres, and cake.

Which I evidently enjoyed very much.

We had flowers atop our cake, in keeping with the peach theme of course, and we did NOT shove the cake at each other. I made it clear beforehand that I really dislike that behaviour.

13. A toast was made and we were served our champagne in beautiful silver goblets. For some reason we thought they were ours to keep, maybe a wedding gift from someone, so we took them home with us. The hotel phoned later asking for them to be returned. Ooops.

And we lived mostly happily ever after.

The End.

The Wednesday Hodgepodge is Just Peachy

Welcome to your regularly scheduled programming, aka The Wednesday Hodgepodge. You know the drill here on Wednesdays, right? Answer the questions on your own blog then add your link at the bottom of my post. It's fun to hop around and see what everyone else is saying too. Here are my answers to this week's questions-

1. How often do you check the weather? How do you check the weather?

If you read here then you know I'm a little bit obsessed with the weather. It may surprise you to know that although I comment on the weather often I don't check it multiple times a day or even every day. I sometimes check the forecast online and now that I have an iphone I use my trusty app. Most of the time though? I step outside, look at the sky, and make up my own weather report.

2. Since this is Volume 84 of the Wednesday Hodgepodge, and since I got married in 1984, and since I'm attending a wedding this weekend, it only seems right to post something related here.

"Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other or ever so similar beforehand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life." Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Agree or Disagree? Why?

Oh but this is complex isn't it? I'm going to break it apart...I don't believe happiness is ever entirely a matter of chance, in marriage or anywhere else. We can always choose to be happy or not happy.

The second part of this quote implies that knowing a person well or hardly at all makes no difference. Either way you'll have 'vexation'. (By the way, I'm going to start using that word because I love it) All marriages contain a certain amount of vexation. I think there's less of it if you know the person well before taking the plunge. Even when you know your intended very well before you marry, once you're hitched you grow and age and change and new things will pop up along the way and 'vex' you. That's why we take vows... for better or worse, in sickness and in health, in vexation and delight.

That last bit isn't in the 'official' version but maybe it should be.

3. Do you like to dance? Have you ever taken dance lessons?

I love to dance. I'm not a great dancer but my hubs is so that makes me better than I actually am. In the scheme of life its a small thing but it is one of the things I love about my husband. I think we can agree that not all men are great dancers. I took ballet classes as a young girl and I've done some Zumba although I'm not sure we can call that dancing. At least not when I do it.

4. Fresh from the oven peach pie or homemade peach ice cream. Pick one.

Homemade peach ice cream.

I know some people will combine the two answers but if I'm having peach pie then the ice cream needs to be vanilla.

5. Should people accept unfairness and learn to make the best of it?

Another toughie slides in on the heels of pie and ice cream.

I actually started to answer this question and it took on a life of its own. I scrapped that and regrouped to say just this-it depends on what is meant by unfairness.

That word is all wrapped up in perception and in almost every situation I can think of, what seems fair to one person will be deemed unfair by another. I want my children to be resourceful, compassionate, and optimistic no matter what life throws at them. Should we accept injustice and cruelty in this world? Those words are commonly associated with basic human rights and my answer would of course be absolutely not.

On the other hand, the words fair/unfair in today's vocabulary are more often linked to situations where person A is whining because he/she feels entitled to whatever person B has regardless of how little or how much they did to earn it or whether or not they can even afford it. I guess I won't get all soapboxy here but I do have some opinions about the declining work ethic in America.

6. The top five all time summer blockbuster movies (released between May and August and grossing at least 100 million dollars) are Jaws, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars (the original), Ghostbusters, and E.T. Which one's your favorite?

I liked all of these except Ghostbusters which, in my opinion, was just okay. Great song though! Star Wars may look a little dated viewed thru the jaded lens of 2012 but when it first came out people couldn't stop talking about the amazing special effects.

All that being said-E.T. is my favorite. Help those in need and love unconditionally. Still a pretty good message for 'kids' of all ages.

7. If given the chance, would you like to visit the moon?

My initial response is no. That's almost always my first response when you ask me to try something new. I've learned though, that you miss a lot when you leap to no right off the bat. It's best to at least visit the maybe option before you discount a potential adventure. Most of the time I have to be talked into the fun, especially the scary kind.

So here's how it would probably go- I'd say no thanks, but hubs would give me a pep talk and convince me it would be fun, and he'd promise to do any and all work involved, and would even carry the jumbo sized bottle of Dramamine I'd require, and next thing ya know... I'm on my way to the moon.

8. Insert your own random thought here.

Remember how much fun it was to get visitors when you first started blogging? A friend of mine just started a blog so if you have a minute won't you hop over and say hi?

We share a love of words, summer camp, and obviously parents with the same idea about how to name a baby girl.

http://www.jottingsfromjoyce.com/

Questions for the Hodgepodge Vol 84

The Wednesday Hodgepodge is back in town this week and everyone is welcome to play along. You'll find the questions below...answer on your own blog and then hop over here tomorrow to link up with the whole wide web world. More or less. Less actually, but its still fun!

1. How often do you check the weather? How do you check the weather?

2. Since this is volume 84 of the Wednesday Hodgepodge, and since I got married in 1984, and since I'm attending a wedding this weekend it only seems right to post something related here.

"Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other or ever so similar beforehand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life."

Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Agree or Disagree. Why?

3. Do you like to dance? Have you ever taken dance lessons?

4. Fresh from the oven peach pie or home made peach ice cream? Pick one.

5. Should people accept unfairness and learn to make the best of it?

6. The top five all time summer movie blockbusters (released between May and August and grossing at least 100 million dollars) are-Jaws, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars (the original), Ghostbusters, and ET. Which one's your favorite?

7. If given the chance, would you like to visit the moon?

8. Insert your own random thought here.

Summertime

So I guess I need to recap the weekend. It started last Wednesday, right? And it was hot. I promise I won't carry on about the weather because it is July and I do love me some sunshine but yowza. I decided I also love me some air conditioning.

And apparently I have my southern girl voice on today.

Wednesday morning I got up and made an angel food cake as the first step in my red, white and blueberry trifle. Once that had baked and cooled we loaded up the car and made the drive down to my mom's in South Jersey. I know I refer to South Jersey like it's a whole 'nother state and if you're not a local then you might not get it, but really, it's like a whole 'nother state.

My sister and her husband were visiting from South Carolina for the week so my mom had a full house. Late in the afternoon we headed over to my brother's for a 4th of July pool party and bbq. My younger sister and her family joined us there. Her little guy is six so she had pool duty.

My brother manned the grill and was cooking in more ways than one. Did I tell you it was hot?

That's my brother in the burnt orange shirt. The two guys pretending to be the chefs are hubs and my brother in law. We dined on the July 4th must-haves, burgers and hot dogs, and party guests brought lots of great sides and desserts.

My trifle was a hit and I'd definitely make this recipe again. The 'filling' is white chocolate pudding combined with Eagle Brand Milk. Raise your hand if you could drink Eagle Brand Milk right out of the can. Don't get excited ...I said could, not did.

We had front row seats to an awesome fireworks display. My brother lives along the river and it just so happens that this is where small town sends up its fireworks. I didn't bother taking pictures with my big camera because I haven't mastered the art of photographing pyrotechnics. Instead I enjoyed the show.

We spent the night at my mom's and the next day we all went over to my sister's house in Philly to celebrate my mom's birthday. She doesn't always have all four of her children together on her big day so that was special.

Here's my mom with her favorite grandson and a superhero.

He's her only grandson so nobody cares if I call him her favorite.

I hope I have my mom's skin when I turn 82.

Hubs and I got home in time for dinner on Friday evening and when I say in time for dinner I mean in time to go out for dinner. We opted for outdoor seating at an Italian restaurant on the boardwalk in our tinytown.

The view from our table was not too shabby.

The rest of our weekend was spent doing odd chores around the house and yard. I cleaned out my bathroom vanity which was long overdue and caught up on the laundry. Scintillating stuff I know. Hubs worked in the yard and we made a stop at our local farmers market too. We saw a movie on Saturday afternoon, To Rome With Love. I'm not normally a huge Woody Allen fan but this one we both loved. Course it's set in Rome and y'all know how I feel about that.

Hubs grilled a leg of lamb on Sunday evening and the temps cooled off a bit so after dinner we took a ride in the little red car. We stopped for ice cream and drove around the lake. The summer sky was lavender and made your heart sing.

I wasn't quick enough to capture the many shades of purple lighltly brushed across the sky or the way the mountains rested gently in the setting sun, but I snapped a picture anyway. I wanted to remember the warm air and the scent of summer with the top down and the lyrics to a favorite old song wafting out into the night.

It was the softer side of summer.

The one that makes you forget the scorching heat and dry lawns and mosquitos that bite the back of your bare legs.

It was that thing summer does so well.

She makes you long for something you can't identify. A feeling you remember from childhood you thought was lost. A warm July evening reminds you that it's been there all along, tucked quietly away inside your senses. All you need to conjure it up are the windows rolled down and the twinkle of a firefly. A summer song playing soft and low. Honeysuckle perfume and a watercolor sky.

Been to the Desert on a Horse with No Name

Actually, it wasn't a horse.

It was an airplane.

Horse just made for a better title.

Last week I wrote a post about summer trips we made out west to see my grandparents when I was growing up. As is always often the case, that post started to run a little long so I decided to make it a two-parter.

You're welcome.

I mentioned in the Colorado portion of my stroll down memory lane that after we'd had our fill of the Rocky Mountains (is that even possible???) my grandparents would drive us over to New Mexico to spend time with my mom's parents and family. Essentially we exchanged the Rockies for the desert and Sandias.

I still remember riding the tram across Sandia crest. It was terrifying mostly because some of the crew rode outside ON TOP of the tram. You can tell my love of riding in a confined cable car high above the earth goes waaaay back.

My mom grew up in Albuquerque and we loved going to our grandparent's home there. It was a small house, about a block from a park, and we'd actually spent a year living in that house with my grandparents when I was a tiny tot. My dad was in Okinawa the year my sister was born so we moved in with my grandparents. I guess it was crowded but it's funny how I don't remember feeling that way. A kid's perception of space and time is a funny thing. My grandparents raised five children in that tiny house and we loved visiting the place my mom called home.

One of my most vivid memories of our summertime trips is the screen door. Do people still have screen doors? I remember my sister and I running in and out and my grandpa telling us not to slam the door. We couldn't help it...screen doors were made to be slammed, right?

When we visited Albuquerque we always made a day trip out to Santa Fe. I loved to see the Indian women sitting along the sidewalk with all their handmade turquoise jewelry for sale. My parents always let us buy something from the crafters and yes, we called them Indians back then. We certainly meant no offense and I loved their brightly colored blankets spread with all that gorgeous silver and blue. My love of jewelry apparently goes way back too.

I remember visiting some Indian ruins and I know they were near a place called Bandaleir because my mother very kindly noted that in a scrapbook she made for me.

That's my grandma in the back right beside my older sister with her blonde hair. In some pictures her hair is dark brown but this was taken in her blonde phase. I was totally enamored of my older sister. She is still pretty great.

My younger sister is in front of my grandma and she and I were like two peas in a pod. A pod that occasionally bickered, but still a pod. That's me with the pig tails and that lime green circle on my shirt was actually a giant smiley face pin. I loved that pin and my younger sister had one in hot pink. My grandma bought them for us because we begged and because smiley faces were all the rage back in 1971.

My mama birthed some skinny legged girls didn't she? You could actually climb inside a pueblo in New Mexico and you can see that my little sister is lovin' life. I appear to be very, very nervous and that's because I was. Ha-God laughs. It's kind of amazing to know I've traveled all over the world. If I could have seen the future my ten year old self would have collapsed into a puddle of her own tears. Thankfully life comes one day at a time.

Another special treat I recall about visiting my grandparents was the food. My grandma made the worlds best roast beef, mashed potatoes, and string beans. We still refer to that in our family as the 'grandma dinner'. She made your iced tea by the glass, ever so carefully sweetening each serving and stirring it with a long iced tea spoon. Remember those?

We also considered it a huge treat to go out for some authentic Mexican food. We had a favorite spot and my sister and I loved to watch them make the sopapillas behind the glass booth inside the restaurant. Sopapillas were nowhere to be found in South Jersey in the 1970's.

This is the only picture my mom has of all the kids with both sets of grandparents. It was taken in the summer of 1969 after my dad's parents drove us from Colorado to New Mexico. I'm dressed in orange which will make my girls smile, and my younger sister had a matching dress in lime green. Neon colors were big that year too which only goes to prove that fashion is cyclical.

The lighting is terrible and the photo somewhat faded but still, it makes me happy. I look at this picture and see a Colorado stream and a cactus in the desert. I smell bacon frying and the fresh squeeze of a lemon. I hear a barn cat's meow and the slamming of a screen door. I feel safe in the warm embrace of family.

In the Shadow of the Mountain

My Monday posts normally fall under the heading of weekend recap and are accompanied by not so deep thoughts. It's late in the day and I feel like I want to say something about the weekend but am not sure exactly what or how much.

We spent the weekend with extended family, gathering for a small private service in honor of my niece in the place she loved best-the Smoky Mountains of East Tennessee. All the people she loved best were there too.

Her whole family.

Both sides.

A swirling twirling contradiction of laughter and tears.

Love and heartbreak.

Memory and Absence.

Cousins on each side linked by the cousin not there. I couldn't help but smile and think how much my niece would love to know that the cousins on her dad's side felt an instant kinship with the cousins on her mom's side. United in their grief but also something deeper.

I'm not going to say much about the weekend because its just too hard, too painful, and too private for this public place. At the same time no words doesn't feel right either.

I listened to my daughter play the song Blessed Be Your Name on her guitar Saturday night. I haven't heard her play in years and sitting on a deck surrounded by the magnificence of the mountains, I felt my heart well up with the most confusing mixture of joy and sadness I have ever known.

Those lyrics danced into the evening air and have been playing across my brain ever since. I know many people, maybe even most people, struggle at some point in their lives with matters of faith. Is God real? Is God who He says He is? If God is truly who He says He is then why do bad things happen to good people? Can I believe what the Bible tells me?

I know people ask these questions all the time, they wrestle with the very nature of who God is or even IF God is, but in my own life, I have never doubted the existence or sovereignty of God.

Until now I guess my life has felt mostly golden. I don't mean to imply there's never been anything sad or hard come my way. I think everyone experiences some measure of that on planet Earth, but for me, this present circumstance?

It stands alone.

There is a shadow that sits at the edge of our every day. Somedays its a dull ache and somedays its a tsunami. A virtual tidal wave of sorrow whose depth seems to know no end. It is your own pain yes, but it's more than your own. It's the tear sliding from your child's eye when they don't know you're looking. That tiny tear lands like a boulder upon your heart. You are also witness to a grandparent's worst nightmare. Most of all, you try to comprehend the incomprehensible- a mother and father with hearts splintered into a million trillion pieces.

What to do when darkness comes? When life suddenly spirals out of control in some cruel twist of fate. When the well of sorrow feels bottomless? When there is no answer to the only question for which you seek an answer- "Why?"

Do I reject all that I have known and believed in the face of something that feels like it could swallow a family up whole?

Or do I push my faith out as far as it will possibly go and finally know for myself, at the age of 51, that the well does indeed have a bottom. And that bottom is rock solid. It is at the bottom of the well, the end of the rope, the edge of a vast and desolate canyon, that God Is.

It is from the bottom of the well that I can say with a sureness I had until now only assumed was there, that His grace really is sufficient.

In spite of all I don't understand, everything I have believed about the goodness of God remains unchanged. Constant. Steady. True.

He is my refuge.

My hiding place.

And my heart will choose to say 'Blessed Be Your Name...'

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains-where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2