On Growing Older

So yesterday was my birthday which, if you follow me anywhere on social media, you already know. Because I'm a little bit obnoxious about my birthday, and my family posts pictures everywhere all the ding dong day, and I say bring it.

I'm not one of those women who dread their birthday. I'm the woman who instead counts down the days. The woman who pretty much the middle of August first day of September announces to anyone within earshot that 'IT"S MY BIRTHDAY MONTH', and then later tells the world 'IT'S MY BIRTHDAY WEEK', and 'HEY IT'S MY BIRTHDAY-EVE', and finally, at the end of my actual birthday sighs and says, 'Gosh I love birthdays'.

Because I do. I could insert many a cliche here...'aging is a privilege denied to many'...'it beats the alternative'...and so on, but hey cliches are cliche for a reason. There's some truth in the oft spoken word.

I don't hate getting older. I certainly don't love everything about it, and in fact there's nothing that makes me feel older here lately than my eyesight or lack thereof, but do I honestly wish I were still  35?

It's a passing thought every now and then I suppose, how much fun it would be to go back for a day or a minute, or when I'm trying to read my phone without my glasses, but certainly not permanently.  I was me only less so at age 35, and I imagine I'll say the same was true of this age when I'm 70.

For one thing I love my kids at this age. I've loved every age, but adult children bring richness and complexity and layers of depth into my life that's taken all the years of growing up and older together to build. At age 35 I had little girls who were positively adorable, who needed help with homework, and a car ride to ballet and those pesky school lunches packed every day.

Little girls who filled my heart to overflowing with their sweetness, their innocence, and their curiosity about everything under the sun, but you know what? Twenty years later I've got that and more, without doing algebra or making tuna fish sandwiches at 6 AM on a Monday.

I look forward to all the ways my girls grow our family, not just with the boys they've chosen to share their lives, but also with the experiences they bring to the table as adults, the places they live and travel, and their perspective on the world we live in which is sometimes from a vantage point I hadn't considered.

Marriage becomes richer with age too, at least I think so, and of course not without pouring lots in as the years roll by.  At age 35 hubs and I were busy with jobs and small children, paying bills, syncing schedules and calendars, figuring out who's going where when, and trying to find spaces of time for adult conversation about important matters like should we take this job? or make that move? and what does this or that mean for the future and for our family?

We're there now. The future we planned for and sometimes worried about at age 35, and it's good. Is it all good? No, but 35 wasn't all rainbows and unicorns either.

While there are lots of challenges in this season we're now living...health, family, and resources to name a few, it occurs to me that none of those challenges are completely new or particular to aging. They're the very same issues we've always dealt with, changing in shape and urgency depending on a whole host of factors, not just whatever age I happen to be.

There's so much in this world we can't control, but I do think we always have a choice as to how we'll view this life we've been given. Every year on my birthday I make the choice to be grateful.

I think of all the people I love who've loved me right back. I think of the family I grew up in, the one I married into, and the one I helped make, and I'm grateful. I think of all the people whose paths have crossed mine, who've blessed me with their friendship or wisdom or faithfulness and I'm grateful. Not as easy to say, but no less true are the hard circumstances I've encountered, the things that didn't go my way, and even those people who were not so easy to deal with, but who taught me something and have also helped shape who I am at 35 or 55 or 75. Life is so not boring.

As I was writing this post the lyrics to an old John Michael Montgomery song popped into my head...'life's a dance, you learn as you go, sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow...'

On my birthday it's good to remember how much I love to dance.

Where to Begin Wednesday?

Maybe I can start a new meme for bloggers like me who are so far behind and out of sync with their writing they don't know where to begin. 

Or I can just dive in somewhere in the middle. 

Let's see...well, there's this beautiful girl who turned one quarter of a century old last week. Whoohoo! Happy birthday to my baby girl, and yes I can still say it because September birthdays last a whole month around here. Mine is on Friday, so family take note-ha! 

Conveniently I have a key to her apartment, so while she was busy teaching third grade I was busy setting up 25 big and little surprises on her kitchen counter. 

So much fun!

Well some gifts were fun and some were practical, because I'm a mom. I might have purchased light bulbs for her bathroom and a command hook for the back of her laundry room door, and wrapped them up too, because teachers don't have time to shop for lightbulbs and 25 is more creativity than I can muster just now. There were plenty of 'real' presents too, and I think the best part was just seeing it all laid out in front of her when she walked through the door at the end of a work day. 

We had friends in town from our Maryland days, who've known and loved the birthday girl since she was in the third grade herself, so they helped make it all feel more festive. I made her favorite and most requested meal (chicken divan) and a Texas Sheet Cake for dessert. 

She sparkles y'all, and that's the truth.

In other news, the lake house. I think I mentioned we were breaking ground last week, and we didn't exactly break ground, but we almost did. Does that count? Firstly on Wednesday hubs rode out to meet the builder and they encountered rain of epic proportions, so they mostly talked house plans and then went to lunch. 

Our friend who was in town visiting rode out to the lot with hubs on Thursday morning, and the builder and excavator were there, and we needed to make a few decisions sooo....decisions were made, trees were marked, water was admired, and we 'think' actual dirt will be moved end of this week or early next. The excavator was a day or two behind because of the crazy storms we've had and this is how it goes when you're building a house I'm told, so we're being patient. 

Mostly. 

Patient and anxious, but mostly patient. 

And anxious. 

This is the most important stage of the whole process, getting the ground and foundation right, and since we're all about the view and of course the house not falling down around us later, we do what we must. 

Our realtor is a gem, and last night he and his wife who is also a realtor, invited us for dinner and a boat ride. We had some friends in town doing a look-see around the lake, and since we connected these friends to our realtor we got to tag along on their waterside tour.  

It was an absolutely glorious evening on the lake. September is my favorite month. The clear blue sky, the soft almost autumn light, the birthdays, the new beginnings...what's not to love? 

We couldn't have asked for nicer temperatures, and every time I'm on the water I have to dig a little bit deeper for that patience I mentioned a paragraph or so ago. I'm more than ready to be inviting people to our deck for supper instead of the other way round. In the meantime I'll rely on the kindness of friends...

...which I'm gonna say is pretty much awesome.

This Week's Hodgepodge

I'm sorry for the late notice, but there won't be a Hodgepodge this week. We had to travel out of town this past weekend for the funeral of a dear friend, and only returned to SC Monday evening. I'd like to catch up around here -my desk, my laundry, my house, and my blog, but I know many of you count on the questions each week, so thank you for understanding.

The HP will be back next week in all her autumn glory (September 22/23). In the meantime I'm going to do my best to write an actual honest to goodness blog post because I've missed my little corner of the web more than you know.

Happy Tuesday!

The Wednesday Hgpodeogde

Welcome to the Wednesday Hodgepodge...so glad you've joined the fun here today! If you've answered the questions add your link at the end of my post, then hop over and say hi to your neighbors.  Here we go-

1. Last thing you did on the spur of the moment?

Invited my sister and brother in law for brunch on Labor Day morning. I love brunch, and think it's a nice, easy, casual way to entertain. I set the table and made a breakfast casserole the night before, then cut up fruit and toasted English muffins in the morning. Easy peasy to get it all together in 24 hours, and that included a supermarket run.  

Hubs made his famous and fabulous bloody marys, each one hand-crafted, and they were so good. He did 'labor' over the garnishes though, which included pickled okra, olives, pepperoncinis, and a bacon swizzle stick. It turned out to be a really relaxing morning with good food and family. 

2. How well informed do you feel about the current Syrian refugee crisis?

Somewhat well informed, although does any one person understand it completely? A civil war has been going on there for several years now, and this is more of the fallout. There is much discussion and disagreement as to where everyone will live, how they will be integrated into new countries and cultures, how to determine if each and every person is on the up and up, what to do about the children, education, healthcare, food, shelter, and on and on it goes. I've read quite a bit about the challenges the refugees and the world face, and while I know it's a complicated mess, my heart breaks for parents running from their homeland with babies on their backs. 

3. What have you changed your mind about?

Brussel sprouts? I despised them as a child, but they're one of my favorite vegetables now.  

4. A medium sized non-poisonous snake found it's way into the pool trap this weekend. If you'd been sitting poolside would you have fished it out? Gone running? Called for help? Pretended not to know? Continued swimming?

Hubs was with me so I remained calm. There were a fair number of people inspecting the trap and one young man was making an attempt at grabbing it with his bare hands, but another more resourceful person grabbed the net and fished him out. Hubs reassured me that in spite of a small child shouting, 'That's a water moccasin!', the snake was in fact a common, harmless something or other. He also reassured me that's what pool traps are for...capturing unwanted critters and keeping them 'trapped', so I carried on swimming.  

5. September 10th is National TV Dinner Day...what's your idea of a great TV dinner? (Or at least a pretty good one!)

Remember the TV dinners that were divided into little compartments with one designated spot for each part of the meal?  Do they still make those? I haven't had one since I was a kid, and even then we only had them when my parents were going out for the evening.  A TV dinner somehow felt like a huge treat, and I remember in choosing what kind we wanted it was all about the dessert. Ordering dinner is still kind of like that for me-ha!

These days my idea of a great TV dinner is a big bowl of popcorn. 

6. Samuel Johnson is quoted as saying, "Courage is reckoned the greatest of all virtues; because, unless a man has that virtue, he has no security for preserving any other." Would you agree? Where have you seen that played out recently? What's the second greatest virtue?

I agree. I think mothers and fathers leaving the only land they've ever called home, with nothing but their babies and the clothes on their back, facing an uncertain future in a place where they may not be welcomed with open arms, takes a whole heap of courage. 

I think the second greatest virtue is integrity, because without it the others I could mention herearen't worth much.   

7. What are three words you have trouble remembering how to spell?

Caribbean, Cincinnati, and ninety are three words I always have to think twice on when writing. Like just now I went back and looked at them again to be sure I had it all right, and even then I hit spell check on my post. Aaaaand of course I had an extra t in Cincinnati. Bother. 

8. Insert your own random thought here.

Let the ground breaking commence! Today's the day-whoohoo!!

Hodgepodge Questions-Volume 235

It's been a whole week since I checked in here on the old blog. How did that happen? I have so much to say, but can't seem to get here and say it. I blame my chair. We've got a makeshift sort of office space set up in the apartment, and we bought a cheap chair that's too short for the table and consequently makes my neck hurt leaving me uninspired. I'll figure out a fix eventually, but in the meantime...let's hodgepodge! 

Be sure to hop back here tomorrow to add your link to the party-

1. Last thing you did on the spur of the moment?

2. How well informed do you feel about the current Syrian refugee crisis?

3. What have you changed your mind about? 

4. A medium sized non-poisonous snake found it's way into the pool trap this weekend. If you'd been sitting poolside would you have fished it out? Gone running? Called for help? Pretended not to know? Continued swimming?

5. September 10th is National TV Dinner Day...what's your idea of a great TV dinner? (Or at least a pretty good one!) 

6. Samuel Johnson is quoted as saying, "Courage is reckoned the greatest of all virtues; because, unless a man has that virtue, he has no security for preserving any other." Would you agree? Where have you seen that played out recently? What's the second greatest virtue?

7. What are three words you have trouble remembering how to spell?

8. Insert your own random thought here.

Hello September Hodgepodge

Welcome to another edition of the Wednesday Hodgepodge. If you've answered the questions this week, add your link at the end of my post. Also, since we're talking common courtesy here today...please leave a comment for the blogger or two who've linked before you. Think of it as our little contribution to making Wednesdays and the world a nicer place! Here we go-

1. What's on your September calendar? Anything fun?

Well MY birthday for starters, and that's always fun. Also hubs birthday and Daughter2's birthday, so it's a birthday palooza here in September. Besides all that celebrating, hubs and I have plans to attend homecoming at our Alma Mater aaaand....we'll break ground on the house this month so whoohoo! I love September.  

2. You might be described as a natural born __________________________?

Optimist? Procrastinator? User of too many words? 

3. September is National Courtesy Month...what one act of courtesy would you most like to see more of in your home, town, or the world at large?

I think the world in general could use a refresher course in good manners. Let's quit publicly eviscerating people for expressing deeply held convictions when they don't line up with our own. Let's stop tossing around words like bigot and racist and fill-in-the-blank-with-the-most-vile-word-you can-think-of when we don't see eye to eye. Let's have a return to civil discourse.  Is that possible in the age of social media? If so I think that would be a nice place to start. 

4. Eager beaver, chicken out, clam up, or let the cat out of the bag...of the phrases listed, which one have you related to most recently?

I'm an eager beaver right now, in that I'm so ready to get going on the house. To borrow another animal phrase, I believe all our ducks are finally in a row, contracts have been signed, and we're ready for trucks to roll in and begin work. 

5. What's your movie theatre snack protocol? Do you chow down on snacks during the previews or wait until the movie begins? Do you buy snacks or refuse to pay those kind of prices? What's the last movie you saw in a theatre? How many thumbs up would you give it?

Snack protocol-ha! Hubs came up with that phrase so I cannot take credit. We always buy popcorn (no butter) and usually share a drink. I sometimes just bring a bottle of water with me, but normally we share a diet coke. Hubs always buys candy, usually Reese's Pieces, and I sometimes have candy-milk duds. I try not to eat all the snacks before the show begins, but honestly the previews now are about as long as the film so I'm not always successful at waiting.

The last movie we saw in theatres was Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation. We liked it, turned my stomach to knots like the other MI flicks did, but in a good way. If you're a fan of the MI series this one won't disappoint. 

6. Henry Ford is quoted as saying, "Nobody can think straight who does not work. Idleness warps the mind." Agree or disagree? Why?

I agree with Mr. Ford. I know when I'm busy I'm much sharper than when I have too little going on. I don't think 'work' necessarily means a paying job, although it might be that. It might also be volunteering, running a household, or any sort of project or task list that needs to be thought about and completed in a timely fashion. 

7. What's the last job you completed or task you performed where you had to 'work like a dog' until it was finished?

Emptying out the NJ house we sold in June. Whew! 

8. Insert your own random thought here.

Speaking of eager beavers...hubs and I walked in a nearby state park on Monday morning, and saw the trail of destruction some actual beavers left behind.  

This poor tree was not their only project. 

  I'd kind of like to see one at work...does this happen in a few minutes or a few days? 

Hodgepodge Questions-Volume 234

Today is my husband's birthday...happy birthday hubs! Also, it's time for another round of Hodgepodge questions, so here ya go-

Don't forget to hop back here tomorrow and add your link to the party! 

1. What's on your September calendar? Anything fun? 

2. You might be described as a natural born _____________________?

3. September is National Courtesy Month...what one act of courtesy would you most like to see more of in your home, town, or the world at large? 

4. Eager beaver, chicken out, clam up, or let the cat out of the bag...of the phrases listed, which one have you related to most recently? 

5. What's your movie theatre snack protocol? Do you chow down on snacks during the previews or wait until the movie begins? Do you buy snacks or refuse to pay those kind of prices? What's the last movie you saw in a theatre? How many thumbs up would you give it?

6. Henry Ford is quoted as saying, "Nobody can think straight who does not work. Idleness warps the mind." Agree or disagree? Why?

7. What's the last job you completed or task you performed where you had to 'work like a dog' until it was finished?

8.  Insert your own random thought here.