Thursday, June 7, 2018


This girl celebrates a birthday today. The turning of a calendar page not just to a new day, but also a new decade.

Do moms still take their babies for photographs like this one? Thirty years ago all moms did... 3 months, six months, one year. We stuck them in photo albums and put them in frames and later in boxes that now sit in basements and attics because those babies are somehow grown up thirty year old women.

Oh how the years roll by...

On my blog yesterday I asked readers to sum up their 30's in one sentence. Impossible I know, but we tried. I will likely do a whole post in response to this question, but not today because today is about the birthday girl. And also me, but I'm trying to make it more about her-ha!

I think we all mark the big milestone birthdays in some way. Not necessarily with a party or celebration, but we can't help pondering in our heads at least, the decade we're kissing goodbye and the one we're racing toward. Some of the '0' birthdays feel bigger than others and I think thirty is one of those. At least it was for me, much more so than my 40th.

I was not looking or feeling my best on my 30th birthday. I'd given birth to my second daughter a few days earlier and if I could lay my hands on the photograph taken on my birthday you'd know what I mean. I was off my game in every sense of the word but I tried to put on a happy face.

I think putting on a happy face eventually leads you to an actual happy face.

The day I turned thirty hubs and I were living in North Jersey with our nearest family almost three hours away. Hubs had a nightmare commute to his grown up job, a job that required a ridiculous amount of travel on top of the crazy commute and I was at home with our babies all day every day.

They were some of the sweetest longest loveliest hardest days of my life, and if I had to do it all again I would do it all again.

Again and again and again.

I think today about my Daughter turning 30. How the world has changed but stay at home mothering not so much. Mothers still press on day in day out caring for their tiny humans as best they know how. Questioning everything, reading what the experts say but listening to their gut too, perpetually tired, one part Wonder Woman-one part wondering who left you in charge of an actual person.

Still showering their tiny kingdoms with a hundred million acts of love and kindness that are sometimes so small they can't be measured in a quantifiable way. Acts that might look and feel insignificant on the surface, but upon closer examination reveal the heartbeat of a family.

My Daughter lives on the opposite side of the country, her nearest family a plane ride away. Her hubs might have a quick commute, but he makes up for it with the hours he spends not just on the job but also in reading, studying, learning what's new in his field, researching, publishing...

Nothing about being a surgical resident is easy, and while he happily puts his nose to the grindstone Daughter1 is at home with their baby boy all day every day. At age thirty she too is living smack dab in the middle of some of the sweetest, longest, loveliest days of her life.

It's been three decades since I first laid eyes on my first born baby girl. The one who made me a mama. In a way I think we moms grow up with our babies. We teach and they learn. They teach and we learn. I know this girl still makes me want to be more like her in so many ways...passionate, gentle, strong, funny, creative, kind.

There was a little poem that once upon a time we'd see embroidered on pillows and samplers that read, 'Cooking and cleaning can wait til tomorrow For babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow...'

No. Not to our sorrow. To our great great joy.

Dear Moms of littles-you're in a magical season of life, but I'm here to tell you grown up daughters are too wonderful for words.

Happy happy birthday Daughter1! May this next decade be filled with more love and joy than your heart can hold. I'm thankful every day I get to be your mom. And especially thankful now to watch you be a mom xo


  1. I love this - your description of being a stay-at-home mom and that phase of life with littles is exactly as I remember it. And I remember turning 30 and wondering if I'd ever meet Mr. Right. I had to wait just one more year to meet my husband when I was 31. Thanks for always inspiring with your writing.

  2. As usual, I agree with all your words. Grown up daughters are so much fun and like I said in a recent blog post, no one tells you that grown up daughters you can drink wine with are one of the joys of life :-)

  3. Oh Happy Birthday, Daughter #1! May the year ahead be filled with happiness and laughter!

  4. I love my grown up babies! Sweet post!

  5. This may be my favorite post you've written!!

  6. I think the days of the Olan Mills photographs are pretty much a thing of the past but I might be wrong! Such a great post and Happy Birthday to your beautiful girl.

  7. I love reading your words about your girls. How blessed you all three are have each other.