Wednesday Hodgepodge Foolishness...Vol 20

Welcome to this week's edition of the Wednesday Hodgepodge...so glad you joined the party! Add your link to the bottom of my post and enjoy hopping around to meet the neighbors. Here are my answers today ~

1. April rolls in at the end of this week and in celebration of that infamous date (April 1) answer this question-what is something foolish you've done?

I bet if I asked my kids for an example there would be plenty to choose from but here's the first thing that popped into my head...

Back when hubs and I were newlyweds I went to bed one evening around 11 and woke up to get ready for work as I normally would. When I got up I felt so tired and nauseous I wasn't sure I was going to be able to make it to work that day. I hated to call in sick though so I persevered, got in the shower and tried to imagine what had happened overnite to cause me to feel so rotten. I had this back and forth in my head about what to do and in the end I decided I just felt too bad to go to work, that what I needed to do was go back to bed. So that's what I did. As I crawled back into the bed I glanced at the clock. It was 12:35 am.

Whaaat???

12:35??

No wonder I felt horrible...I'd only had an hour's sleep. Why had I thought it was morning? Hubs rolled over and said, "What are you doing taking a shower in the middle of the night?" He thought it was hilarious and I definitely felt like an idiot foolish.

2. With April comes Easter and that classic edible treat known as Peeps...so tell me...what's your favorite way to eat/fix chicken? That's wasn't what you were expecting was it? I 'fooled' you. teehee

A few years ago I might have said fried but I never fry chicken anymore and to be honest it doesn't really appeal to me like it once did. My favorite way to have chicken is on the bbq...I'm not too particular about the sauce or marinade, I just love the flavor of grilled chicken.

I do confess to loving the Chick-fil-a sandwich which technically is fried chicken but, since the nearest Chick-fil-a is a two hour drive that is a very rare treat.

3. What's the best museum you've ever visited? Or your favorite? Or the one you'd most like to visit?

This is hard...I love museums and have been in hundreds. My favorites are probably The Portrait Gallery in Trafalgar Square and The Tate Modern in London. I'm sure it has something to do with the city in which they are set.

4. You know what they say about April showers....what's your preference-a bath or a shower?

I must have a hot shower every morning in order to face the day. I do love baths too though, and a long hot soak in the tub is one of my favorite ways to relax.

5. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"-fact or fiction? Why?

Speaking as someone who has spent a lot of time living away from people I love and being married to a spouse who travels, I'd say this is mostly true. Being separated from someone I love causes me to think about them throughout the day, to miss them, and to really look forward to time spent together. It's easy to take the people around us for granted when we're with them 24/7...I think a little 'missing' is good for a relationship on occasion.

6. What's your favorite product made/grown in your home state/province?

Can I say no-self service gasoline? Truly. It might be my favorite thing about living in NJ...you are not allowed to pump your own gas.

If I must pick an actual product I'm going with Jersey corn...you will not find sweeter corn anywhere.

7. What is going on in the world today that affects you the most?

I guess one of the biggies in this season of life is the economic climate. I think of my daughter in the job market and another soon entering and I pray they are able to find jobs which allow them to support themselves and are also a good fit for their skills and temperaments. And as hubs and I inch nearer and nearer to retirement and are trying to make sensible decisions about where to live, invest, spend our time/money, well let's just say it's challenging.

Taxes.

We pay too many.

And our government spends too much.

That affects us.

8. Insert your own random thought here.

I can't end a post on a depressing note like taxes so here you go...this is sure to make you smile!

No foolin'...it's question time

I so dislike hitting publish when I'm still in edit mode.

That's what happened here on Monday morning...before I had a chance to add question #7 to the list this post went flying right on out into cyberspace.

Save and publish look nothing alike yet I continue to hit one when I mean the other.

I think I've got it together now...

at least I hope so!

Here are this week's Hodgepodge questions...

see you back here tomorrow (Wednesday) to link answers-

1. April rolls in at the end of this week and in celebration of that infamous date (April 1st) answer this question-What is something foolish you've done?

2. With April comes Easter and that classic edible treat known as Peeps...so tell me...what's your favorite way to fix/eat chicken? That wasn't what you were expecting, was it? I 'fooled' you. teehee.

3. What's the best museum you've ever visited? Or your favorite? Or the one you'd most like to visit?

4. You know what they say about April showers...what's your preference-a shower or a bath?

5. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"...fact or fiction? Why?

6. What's your favorite product made/grown in your home state/province?

7. What is going on in the world today that affects you the most?

8. Insert your own random thought here.

It's a million little things...

I have a headache. I've had it since yesterday. Today looks like a sunny blue sky day and I'm trying to get myself motivated to do some of the many tasks that need doing around here but I have a headache. Did I tell you I've had it since yesterday? On top of that I had a nightmare last night that woke me up about 3 am. My heart is still racing. Essentially, I'm a mess. Perhaps I'll go back to bed and begin again. Did you stop in here today to hear about my headache? Let's talk about Saturday instead-

Saturday we headed over to the tile store bright and early to purchase the tile we'll need for our master bath shower re-do. I'm going to start abbreviating that MBSR because its too much to type, especially when you have a headache. Anyway, the tile store is always a little overwhelming to me. We know what we like but then I get in there and see the number of choices and it all becomes a giant blur. Hubs and I are amazing though. We can walk into a tile store and glance at their selection of no less than twenty hundred tiles and we always, without fail, make a beeline to the most expensive option. Of course once we see that one everything else pales in comparison. The lady making a purchase beside us went for a style that was $5.95 per square foot. Ours was not. Perhaps that explains why I've had a headache for two days?

We finally got out of there (oh, the math!) and drove on into the city to meet some friends. Old friends...friends we got to know when we were both living in the UK. They are Texans and we haven't seen them in person since they moved back to the Lone Star State in 2007. The minute I laid eyes on them though, the years in between just rolled right away...don't you love friendships like that?

Since it was chilly (especially for Texans!) we had arranged to meet at the American Museum of Natural History. I think it was full of stuffed animals and dinosaur bones and oh there were also some gems...I remember the sparkly bits. Mostly we just walked and talked and we didn't pay a whole lot of attention to the exhibits because, hello... we had some serious catching up to do!

After we'd roamed around inside for a while we went out into the daylight to find a place for lunch. We ended up in a restaurant we'd eaten in once before and they put us in a cozy corner table where we had our lovely lunch and more talk. They are the parents of two boys and we have two girls and the four of them were all pals back in the day. In fact Daughter1 went to the prom her Junior year of high school with their son1.

Doesn't her hair look beautiful?

I miss my UK hairdresser.

Where was I? Oh yeah. I have a headache. And we were in NYC. After lunch the sun was shining and it felt warm enough for a walk thru Central Park so that's what we did-

NYC on a blue sky day makes me happy.

We wandered and we talked.

Mostly we talked.

And said goodbye too soon.

I wish they were still just a few streets away.

I wish they were still close enough to say, 'Hey, let's meet for dinner...lunch...coffee...a walk...a trip to Italy to shop for pottery."

If I'm wishing I might as well go big, right?

She would totally agree.

They have a child getting married this summer. I still picture him in grade 11 but somehow our 'kids' are old enough to be out of university and on their own and getting married. Married? Hmmm...that doesn't sound right.

Sigh.

I guess it is.

Next time we see these friends we hope we're all sitting in the warm Texas sun watching their 'child' say I do. I'll bring the kleenex... we all know it's the little things, right?

"Friendship isn't a big thing-

it's a million little things."

~Author Unknown

Lucky Thirteen

Maribeth over at Dackel Princess does a little something she calls Thursday Thirteen and since I feel like a list today I'm doing the same. Everyone go say hi to Maribeth. After you read my list of course!

1. American Idol-I guess I'm in the minority but I am feeling pretty eh about this season's contestants. So far there isn't a single one I find myself looking forward to hearing from each week, no one whose singing makes me want to hop over to Itunes and download their song. There's a bright spot here and there but mostly, eh. I do look forward to seeing JLo's look every week-she is beautiful, and to hearing what kind of crazy Steven Tyler will bring, but otherwise-eh. And I think they need to be a little tougher on some of the contestants. Tough doesn't have to be mean but most weeks I miss having Simon there keeping it real.

2. Did I mention it snowed here yesterday? And last night? And it's the end of March? Just checking.

3. We are re-doing our master bathroom shower. The old shower and dry wall behind have been removed and since we're tiling the shower floor a special tub had to be ordered which will take 'a couple of weeks' to get here. Give or take. Ahem. Yesterday the tiler was here all day making the dog nervous with his hammering and sawing and whatever it is carpenters do. The original time frame on this job was three weeks. They removed the existing shower March 9th. Raise your hand if you think this project is going to take longer than three weeks?

4. Daughter1 has been in D.C. for a few days. She was due to fly out at 7:30 last night and she sat on the plane for a good long while before the flight was cancelled and they were taken back to the terminal at 9:30 PM. We finally got her re-booked on a flight for this morning and waited while she rode the metro back to her friend's house for the night. Nothing about travel is easy anymore, is it?

5. We have our neighborhood book club tonite. We read My Father's Paradise by Ariel Sabar which is described as 'a son's search for his Jewish past in Kurdish Iraq'. While its not a book I would have picked up on my own I've found it really interesting and an easy read, not something I was expecting given the description. One of the things I like most about being part of a book club is that it gets me outside my reading box. I've read some great books that I know I would have missed if they hadn't been a book club selection.

6. I love using the kindle app on my ipad. I didn't think I'd like an electronic reader but I do. One of the bonus features? Reading in bed without turning on the light...the ipad screen allows me to read and hubs to sleep undisturbed so everybody's happy.

7. We are meeting friends from the UK in the city on Saturday and I can. not. wait. We haven't seen these friends since they moved back to Texas in 2007. Their son1 and our daughter1 were big pals in high school and he's getting married this summer which I'm still trying to get my head around. Their son2 broke our daughter2's collar bone when his head collided with her shoulder in a friendly football match. Just so we're clear-my daughter wasn't in the match...she was on the sidelines. She is a magnet for stuff like this. She would not disagree.

8. We still have not booked a holiday.

9. I'm getting my hair cut and highlighted tomorrow. I can tell you right now its gonna be a good day.

10. I have struggled with my family room mantle since we moved in here. It has two story windows on either side and a mirror that reaches two stories above the fireplace too. I love it but it is tricky to decorate which is why I finally had a decorator come out and give me some advice. I've ordered something per her suggestion and I can't wait for it to arrive. Here is a before picture taken from the upstairs hallway...please disregard the dog asleep in the chair....her life is rough-

I'll post the after in a couple of weeks because nothing happens fast in the world of home improvement, does it?

11. Why is Easter so late? Why is the date so apparently random every year...sometimes it's early March and other years it's late April? We normally go to Tennessee for Easter but since we're headed south in early May to-what else?-help a child move-we've decided to have the girls come home for the holiday. I can't wait!! I still make Easter Baskets for my girls and I enjoy that. (So do they!!) And I especially look forward to sitting in church and looking down the pew and seeing my whole little family all together. Sigh.

12. I just googled my Easter question and am gonna share what I've learned because I think a blog post can be both random and educational-

The answer is-it's complicated. In short, Easter falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon following the Spring Equinox. The long answer is too long, even for my blog but if you're curious you can read more here.

13. Did I tell you we have snow?

Partly Hodgepodge with a chance of snow-Vol 19

Welcome to this week's edition of the Wednesday Hodgepodge. I hope you brought your snow shovel and boots because I think you may need them here today. Ca-razy forecast!!

It's been fun having so many participants here on Wednesdays and it now takes me a couple of days to get around to them all. I encourage you to hop around too...not everyone is able to link early so check back periodically and see what blogs have been added throughout the day. Part of the fun of the Wednesday Hodgepodge is getting to know new bloggers every week. Here we go~

1. Sunday was the first day of spring. So they say. Ahem

What is your favorite outdoor springtime activity?

Snowshoeing, sledding, slipping and falling as I wheel the rubbish bin to the curb...you know, the usual springtime stuff.

Oh I know the 6-10" of snow predicted to accumulate today will eventually melt and one day in the near future we'll experience true springtime weather. In the meantime I guess I can get my head around one more cup of hot cocoa with marshmallows.

My real favorite outdoor activity in springtime is hiking.

2. Who would you want to come into your kitchen to cook dinner for you?

Heston Blumenthal or Raymond Blanc...if someone is coming to cook for me I want amazing.

3. When was the last time you flew a kite?

I think the last time we did this was 2004. We spent many a summer holiday at the beach and always reserved at least one evening for pizza and kite flying on the sand.

If I close my eyes I can almost feel the late day sun on my face.

4. What topic puts you to sleep faster than anything?

Html talk or really any talk relating to the inner workings of my computer. I just want it to turn on when I hit the power button. I don't need to know how it works. Oh, I'm impressed that you do and I'm more than a little bit grateful there are people in this world who are not bored to tears by this sort of thing. People who actually enjoy making the computer magic happen. Because to me that's how a computer works~by magic, right?

5. What flowers do you associate with specific people, places, or events?

I'm reminded of our wedding day when I see orchids. Gerbera Daisies make me think of Daughter1 because they're her favorite and have been for as long as I can remember. Poppies will forever make me think of England. And I remember a little town in Italy and one of our most special family holidays ever when I see big blooming hydrangeas.

.

6. What significant historical events took place during your elementary school years?

I was in elementary school during the tumultuous 60's and the early 70's so all sorts of events were happening that made history. Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King were both assassinated when I was in the second grade but I don't remember much about either of those tragedies. In the summer just before I turned nine we landed on the moon. I remember watching with my family on our black and white tv.

I guess the biggest thing that comes to mind though, is the Vietnam War. My dad was a career Marine and he spent my entire 3rd grade school year in Vietnam. I remember taking him to the airport to fly out and I remember him telling me to be a good girl for my mother.

This is a picture (four actually) from the scrapbook my mom made...

It's me along with my three siblings sending happy birthday wishes to my dad on the other side of the world. I'm holding the word 'Dear' and I have to say I'm pretty impressed with my mother's creativity. No skype, no cell phone photo sharing...just good old fashioned photography sent via snail mail back in 1969.

I remember starting the 4th grade and telling my new teacher I wouldn't be at school one day because we had to pick my dad up at the airport. She asked how long he'd been out of town and when I said a year tears sprang to her eyes. I remember feeling so proud when he came into my class later that same year and showed slides and told us a little bit about Okinawa and the country of Vietnam. I remember being a little disappointed he wore his civilian clothes.

The innocence of childhood is so precious.

I think we've lost a little of that in today's technological world.

7. Do you swear? Do you pseudo-swear? (you know- crap, shoot, friggin' ?)

No. I can't say that a word (or pseudo-word) has never slipped out, but swearing is really not at all a part of my vocabulary. I think its a habit that people pick up and like most habits it's hard to break. I am especially not a fan of women using the big word. ick.

8. Insert your own random thought here-

I've seen this several places lately and I had it on my facebook page not long ago so if you're my facebook friend sorry for the repeat. I can't help it-this just makes me smile. Hope it makes you smile too!

Dear Internet Mom

Note: If you're looking for this week's Hodgepodge questions you'll find them here.

Last Friday I had an errand to run some distance from home. As I was driving I found myself caught up in the dialogue of a call in radio show which centered around a recent online essay written by a mom of two small children (a 3 yo daughter and a 20 month old son). You can read her original post here but essentially she says she loves her son more than her daughter. (Did anyone else think YIKES?!!) She doesn't say she doesn't love her daughter, just that she loves her son more. She went on to write about imaginary worse case scenarios and how she could envision living without her daughter but not without her son...that she hopes this third child she's expecting is a girl so she can "start over with a little girl..."

Do you think people have opinions about this?

Whoa!

You betcha!

I've thought about what she said and did and I've decided I'd like to offer her some free (unsolicited and perhaps unwelcome) advice. In responding to some of the comments she received the author took issue with people offering advice but hello, it's the internet. When you put something out there that might be considered controversial you've got to assume you're going to get some advice. Is that a bad thing? Did she post the confession in hopes of somehow making the relationship with her daughter better or did she publish the confession to make herself feel better?

Dear Internet Mom...

Your words made me sad. For you and especially for your daughter, but for you too. Those must be some hard feelings to feel. Your children are little, still so very, very young...the age where thirty minutes spent with a strong-willed, cranky child can feel like thirty years. At age three a child's personality is not set in stone. Its still forming and developing and you as the mom play a huge role in that. How we respond and react to our children absolutely influences their present and future behavior. If there are qualities in your daughter that are difficult to take then do the hard work of figuring out a way to direct those traits and tendencies in a more positive direction.

And it is hard work.

Really hard.

The kind that means letting go of self for the greater good of your innocent three year old...the kind that pays off in the long run.

When you say you love your son a little bit more than your daughter do you really mean love? Or do you mean 'like' because I do think there's a difference. If what you meant to say was, 'like' then I would say of course there are moments in our kids lives where one may be easier to 'like' than the other. Children go thru stages and phases depending on age and maturity and disposition. Child A plucks our last nerve and pushes our buttons while Child B warms our heart and then suddenly Child A matures a little bit and Child B enters a new stage and your feelings do too. In fact when your 20 month old son is three you may discover he isn't as 'likable' as he is right now.

Hearing a mother say, "I'm having a hard time liking you right now" and knowing your mother has said "I love your brother more than you" are two very different things. One is something we can laugh about later while the other is something that can worm its way into a child's heart never to be forgotten.

The author has written a follow up piece (she kinda had to) in which she defends her 'honesty' and says this needs to be out there in a public forum because she isn't the only one who feels this way. That if we're going to be honest in a 'my house is messy' fashion we need to go all the way and be honest about everything.

My response to this is no-we don't.

I think the idea that everything we think and feel needs to be said out loud is a flaw in our current culture. At the very least it doesn't all need to be said in a public written forum that a once difficult three year old little girl may read down the road someday. She won't be three forever.

Is an internet audience filled with anonymous (and judgmental) readers really the place to go to deal with these feelings? I've never felt what you're feeling but I have no doubt you feel it. And you probably speak for more than a few other parents out there too, but does that mean we need to blog about it? Dear Internet Mom-Before taking it to the internet did you try sharing these feelings with a close friend, sister, minister, spouse or, if none of those options were available, then a neutral third party such as a therapist or even a parent help line as opposed to Blogger and the world wide web?

Why does every thought we have need to be laid bare online just because other people have the same thought?

How does putting this out there help you and your daughter improve your relationship? You've received harsh criticism from one side and amens from the other. In the end though, you are left with your feelings, maybe more guilt than you had prior to writing or perhaps a sense of justification in feeling what you feel because you're not alone, but still, no real solution.

As I listened to callers on one side of the issue or the other what I found myself thinking about was your formerly anonymous, now named by name, 'difficult' three year old little girl. In responding to commenters who say they hope your daughter never reads the post you (the author) say you hope she does. That it will somehow help your daughter understand you were not a perfect parent.

You know what?

Kids don't really want to know the depth of our imperfections.

And as you'll learn soon enough, most kids don't need to think their parents are perfect...only that their parent's love for them is.

She's three. Your son is less than two. You have no way of knowing what life will bring their way and you may one day wonder how you ever entertained thoughts such as these. I pray your daughter never knows. Relationships grow and change and nothing requires our best effort quite like parenting.

At this stage of the parenting game the future likely seems light years away....a distant horizon that will take eons to reach. The day when you no longer have little ones underfoot is so far out along that horizon its impossible to grasp. I can't explain the tricks of time but trust me when I tell you these three year old days will be just a fuzzy blur in the not so distant future.

People say it all the time but cliches are cliches for a reason...time flies.

You can change the way you feel.

You can establish new habits and ways of connecting with a three year old.

You can have a relationship you truly cherish with this girl who will be an adult in the blink of an eye.

At the moment, you are the adult.

There is a lot of life to be lived between now and her grown up days.

Cherish it.

She may one day decide to blog about her mother.

You may think you won't care.

I think you might.

Springtime questions in a week filled with winter

Here are the questions for this week's Hodgepodge...

see you back here tomorrow (Wednesday) to share and link our answers.

1. Sunday was the first day of spring. So they say. Ahem.

What is your favorite outdoor springtime activity?

2. Who would you want to come into your kitchen to cook dinner for you?

3. When did you last fly a kite?

4. What topic puts you to sleep faster than anything?

5. Which flowers do you associate with specific people, places, or events?

6. What significant historical events took place during your elementary school days?

7. Do you swear? Do you pseudo-swear? (You know crap, shoot, friggin'?)

8. Insert your own random thought here.