Sit A Spell

S is for Sweet Southern Comfort

Do you have a porch? I'm a little bit obsessed and I blame it on the south. Porches and the south go together like biscuits and gravy, shrimp and grits, home grown tomatoes and a glass of sweet tea. I've had decks and patios and stoops, but never an honest to goodness porch. 

The new house will have a screened in porch, and at one end will be this-

That's a fireplace, or it will be eventually. And I'll have a kitchen door, another minor obsession, to let the light in and keep the bugs out. 

At the opposite end of the porch will be this-

A view of the lake and the great outdoors. 

Y'all come sit a spell! 

Random Thoughts From Home

I think you all know random is my forte, and I've had a busy day so I'm going with what I know in the A-Z Challenge today.

R is for Random Thoughts From Home

Not necessarily about home, but since I'm at home there's your connection. 

Firstly, let's just talk about the darling Prince George. I'm sure by now everyone has seen the picture of him standing beside the Queen, Prince William, and Prince Charles. He always looks like he's up to something with that twinkle in his eye and his big beaming smile. The photograph will be a postage stamp, and that's almost enough of a reason to visit England. I need to write myself a letter and send it back across the pond. 

There's another photo making the rounds too, showing the Queen with all the great grands and her two youngest grandchildren. The little one (Mia) holding the purse is positively too cute for words. I thought they were wonderful photographs and the Queen looks lovely too. 

I saw something today where the creator of Downton Abbey is producing a new program called Jamestown, about the early British settlers in America. I'm looking forward to it because I'm sure it will be well done, and because when hubs and I lived in Virginia we visited the Jamestown settlement. We both remember it well because my parents were with us, and as we were leaving my dad drove down the road going the wrong way. As in heading for oncoming traffic, which thankfully there wasn't much of, and hubs mentioned it to him in a casual offhand way, and my dad moved to the correct lane and all was well. 

The word Jamestown cannot be mentioned here without my girls telling the tale of our own version of the settlement. It started off as Daughter1's fifth grade social studies project. She and a friend were to create a model of the settlement and they were busy working away in the garage with toothpicks and clay and their own ideas, struggling a little to make it come together, but giving it all they had. The dads popped in to see how it was going and I think you know how this ends. Hubs likes to say he got an A. 

Yesterday Daughter2 stopped by after school and we had tea on the balcony. It was a beautiful sunny day, and our balcony sits back a bit so it was the perfect temperature. We had a long leisurely chat and Daughter1 facetimed us which is the next best thing to being there. 

Few things say home to me more than an afternoon cup of tea with my girls. 

I drink a cup of tea almost every afternoon. When we moved to England I remember thinking it was odd that people asked for hot tea on warm summer afternoons. I'm sure they found the idea of  tea poured over ice every bit as strange, and I fully adopted their way of thinking. I drink hot tea no matter what the thermometer says. 

Hubs and I are meeting some NJ neighbors tomorrow evening. They're headed south to see their very talented son perform in the opera Carmen, and since we're practically in the neighborhood we're going too. 

Neighborhood is a term we use very loosely on this side of the pond. 

I've only seen one opera in my life and that was Romeo and Juliet, sung expertly in Italian in the Verona coliseum under a starry night sky. It was completely magical...

And also my birthday. 

We're looking forward to seeing friends from tinytown NJ and catching up in person. Next week I'm having dinner with one of my bridesmaids, a college friend I haven't seen in a number of years, and I'm excited to catch up with her too. I'm also having lunch with a blog friend next week, our first time to meet in person but of course I feel like I know her.  

I guess that's enough random for one day. There's a lot of that other R word happening round here lately (real life) and I need to get back to it.  Happy weekend everyone! 

Thursday is the weekend, right? 

Shhh...

Just a reminder for those of you here looking for the Wednesday Hodgepodge, we're on Spring Break today, but will be back next week-April 27th.  In the meantime,  I'm back on track with the A-Z Blog Challenge...

Q is for Quietude

Hubs and I went out to the lot late yesterday afternoon to meet with the builder and discuss (again) some electrical stuff and of course stuff always leads to more stuff and before you know it, the clock is heading towards 7 PM and I just cannot deal.

I think I've mentioned here a time or ten how I feel about 'stuff', and does anyone else remember when figuring out how to have music in your house was a simple matter of plugging in a radio?

Excuse me while I satisfy my need for quietude. 

When we're at the house and I feel overwhelmed by all the decisions,  I sometimes step out here and regroup-

The covered deck, which isn't actually a deck yet but is well on it's way.  The ceiling is peaked and stretches 18 feet high, the view is wide, and the trees are tall. As I stood there yesterday it occurred to me that in every home we've ever owned I've sought out the quiet spaces. 

We've lived around large cities most of our married life, but never actually in the large city. Hubs and I both love big cities and enjoy taking advantage of all they have to offer, but we're country mice at heart. 

I like living in the middle of blooming things. Growing things. Nature. Birds and bees and rocks and trees. Small towns where people drive annoyingly slow and deer graze in the yard and clouds float by unhurried on a sunny summer day. 

Where poppies turn their faces to the sun and red maples burst into flame.

Where birthday parties and babies bloom. 

Where come October the trees turn gold and a red-tailed hawk watches from on high. 

Where sunlight dances on the water and blue heron wade beside the shore. 

Where a walk in the woods is possible every single day.

Where nearby mountaintops can be reached with your own two feet. 

Where hummingbirds hum and koi swim smoothly beneath the purple iris.

Where you learn flowers and people both grow in gardens.

Where sunsets are a purple shade of pink and marshmallows roast under a starry night sky.

If you need me I'll be on the deck...

...embracing the quietude of home. 

How's Your PMA?

Well I could make myself crazy by skipping two letters in the A-Z Blog Challenge or I could make myself crazy trying to go back now and write three posts. I choose option one.

We had a busy day on Saturday filled with company and going and doing, and then I wasn't feeling well Sunday-Monday, so I'm going to settle for N + O =NO post for those two letters, and jump back into the alphabet with today's letter-P. Believe me it's better this way. You get 1000 words instead of 3000. Something like that.

Also, a reminder there will not be a Wednesday Hodgepodge link up this week, because obviously I need a break. The Hodgepodge will return next week-April 27th.

Okay, jumping back on the A-Z Blog Challenge train now...

P is for Positive Mental Attitude

I have camp friends who read my blog, and no matter where those friends may be when they read my post title, they're all responding with the appropriate Boy Are We Enthusiastic! 

Way back when I worked as a camp counselor, and even before that when I was a camper, if there was some activity we might be less than excited to take part in, the staff member in charge would shout into the megaphone-'How's Your PMA?' and we would reply with, 'Boy are we enthusiastic.' 

Generally said the first time without a lot of enthusiasm.  

If we did not show enough enthusiasm in our response the person with the megaphone would ask again, a little bit louder, 'HOW'S YOUR PMA???' and then again a little bit louder, 'HOW'S YOUR PMA???' and we'd get louder in our response, and before you knew it you were laughing and feeling a little bit excited about something you didn't want to do five minutes before. 

This mantra has come in handy in home building and in life, even if I only say it in my head. A positive mental attitude helps when you're moving or you think you're moving or you're wishing you weren't moving or you're building a house and it's taking a sweet forever. When it rains buckets and you need dry land or your builder calls and says your bathtub selection is too wide or your accountant calls in the middle of it all and says you need to send another bajillion to the IRS. 

How's your PMA? 

Boy are we enthusiastic! 

Building from scratch isn't all fun and games. There are parts of the process that could be described as fun, parts of the process where you feel a tremendous amount of excitement. And then there are a good many parts of the process where you feel something less than enthusiasm for all you've taken on. Where you question why you didn't just buy something already built and move in. 

Where you spend a full day debating whether you need more dirt less rock or more rock less dirt and should the driveway come another 1/16 of an inch to the left or the right and at the end of it all you kind of want to snap at the person you love best. It's precisely that moment, when you're frustrated or tired or overwhelmed by all the decisions all the time that it helps to ask, 'How's my PMA?'. 

In my head I shout. 

And I smile because summer camp is good for lots of things, but one thing for sure it teaches you is doing things that are not your favorite with a PMA makes those tasks more pleasant. True when scrubbing a toilet, and just as true when you find yourself spending four tedious hours with an electrician making 1001 small decisions. 

Whistle while you work. 

The sun'll come out tomorrow.

Put on a happy face. 

A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. 

BOY ARE WE ENTHUSIASTIC!

All Roads Lead Home

More A-Z Blog Challenge here today...

In our almost 32 years of married life hubs and I have lived in two apartments, one townhome, one rented home, five purchased homes, and we're currently building a house. Ten cities, seven states, two countries and a partridge in a pear tree.

M is for Moving

The words moving and home go together, or at least they do when you're us. We've moved a lot and when people hear we've moved a lot they react. I thought today would be a good day to talk about some of the common pronouncements people make when it comes to moving.  

'Oh I could never move like that.'

Yes you COULD. You might not want to move, but you can move. There are of course a few exceptions, poor health being one, but on the whole people who say this to me don't want to move because they like their life the way it is thank you very much.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I get it, I really, really do. Perhaps no one understands the emotional attachment we form with our homes and our towns and our people more so than a person who has moved several times.

Ask me how many times I've wanted to move.
On the front end? None.
In hindsight? Every time.  

Our moves for the most part have been job transfers or promotions so we had a lot of practical help in terms of relocation assistance. In the end though, it's still you picking up your entire life and setting it down someplace else. Your life won't look the same and you won't be the same which is neither good nor bad. It's what you make it. You may have no say in where you move next and you may have no say in when you move next, but you have all the say in how you see it.

There is no escaping knowing yourself a little bit better with every move you make. 

You can write that in pen. 

'I could never leave my (family, friends, church, job, place where I grew up) fill in the blank.'  

Wrenching. The first word that springs to mind when I think of moving from a place I love or a neighborhood/church/town where I've set down roots. I've cried in every driveway I've pulled away from.  We're moving to Ohio? Whaaaaa! We're leaving Ohio? Whaaaaa!  There are friends and churches and jobs waiting for you everywhere you roam. You don't want to admit it when you're being crow-barred out of a place, but that doesn't make it any less true.

Family is a different kettle of fish. My family is my family and whether I'm one mile away or a thousand they're constant and solid because they're my family. Figuratively they never move. Hubs and I both say one of the best gifts our parents gave us was the gift of wings. Go, do, be, grow, explore, see, learn..but don't forget who grew you up. 

The idea of missing someone or something is interesting to me. Missing somehow makes a person or place more dear to me. Sometimes leaving something or someone behind forces you to look it in the eye and acknowledge how very important it is to you. I take less for granted and treasure what's left behind more deeply than if I'd never said goodbye.

'Why would you want to leave here?'

Well a lot of times you don't want to leave here. But you're a grown up and your husband's job says we want you there, which means you have to leave here. 

'We'd like to move, but need to wait until our kids are out of high school.'

I'm just going to tell you this one is not true. I know people think it is and I hear it a lot, but kids are absolutely full of surprises. Be willing to consider the alternative. Moving your teenagers in the middle of high school might be one of the best things you ever do for them. It is completely possible.

The thing about moving is you don't know what's on the other side until you're on the other side. From the front end it's all one big blurry question mark. Will my child make friends? make the wrong friends? make the football team? is there a football team? will they become withdrawn? rebellious? angry? sad?

Will they hate me? Will they forgive me?

First of all parents everywhere ask themselves these questions, move or no move, so don't lose perspective. Some behaviors might be attributed to a move, and some you need to chalk up to the highs and lows of ordinary teenage life.

Parents, and moms in particular I think, have so much power here. You might hate this new house with a passion, you might not be able to find your way around this new town, you might be feeling a little bit insecure in the new friends department yourself, but put on a happy face for the sake of your children.

I know some people will say that's phony or not being real somehow, but in my experience if you look for the bright spots, if you view this new situation as an adventure rather than a punishment, you will one day wake up and actually feel the happy face you've pretended to feel. It won't do anyone any good if mom lays on the couch all afternoon eating ice cream from the tub.

Come up with a plan. Join something. Get out of the house. Exercise. Explore your new city together. As the parent you might need to extend yourself somewhere in order to meet other parents with similar aged kids so you can invite them all over for a 'play date'.

Moms in new cities need play dates every bit as much as their teens.

I'm not by any means saying don't acknowledge your kids unhappiness, but don't dwell on it either. And no matter how they choose to remember their previous home/school/relationships those were likely not all roses all the time either. Sometimes it helps to gently remind them of that.

Sometimes you need to remind yourself  too.

'There's no where in the world I'd rather live.' This place is perfect.'

Ha. I love my friends who think where they live is perfect. I have lived in several perfect places now. Just sayin'. 

'You're crazy/restless/brave.'

Only when I have to be. 

Bless My Heart

Still workin' the A-Z Blog Challenge...

L is for Light-en Up

Y'all. I spent four hours this afternoon selecting lights for the new house. Four hours. That was on top of the four hours spent last week doing a walk through with the electrician.

Bless my heart.

I knew this would likely be the most stressful of the stresses, I mean selections. Let's just say we wrapped it up with a margarita which is how all new home lighting selections need to conclude.

Bless my heart.

Last Friday we met our electrician, Bob the Builder, and Mrs. Bob the Builder at the lot for a walk through. As we were en route hubs casually mentions the builder told him they'd spent six hours with another client the week before doing their electrical walk through. I looked at him with a great deal of naivete, and said, 'Six hours!' That's crazy! How can it possibly take six hours???'

Bless my heart.

For some reason I imagined the electrical walk through was all about where we want/need lighting. 'Tis that, and so much more. It's also about precisely where you want the switches for said lighting. And do you want those switches on the left side of the wall or the right side of the wall? The wall that isn't even a wall yet, so imagine the wall is there and decide if you'll want to hit a switch left or right. And what exactly will each and every switch control?

When you enter your house from the garage do you want to have to walk across the room to turn on a light? No. Okay, so which lights should come on then when you enter from the garage? Do you want all the lights in the room to come on or just the chandelier? Dimmer or no dimmer? Recessed lighting plus an actual light or just recessed lighting? How many cans? Where will you plug in your computer in the office that's not yet an office?  What wall will the TV sit on? How will you arrange the furniture and will you you need an outlet in the floor of your great room?

Bless my heart.

Today was Phase II. Hubs and I met our decorator at the lighting showroom and not gonna lie...we gave each other a pep talk as we made our way there. Deep breaths. It will be overwhelming. Let's stick to our budget. Seriously, let's stick to our budget. Deep breaths. We can do this. Then you walk in and see this-

And that's just the teeniest bit of the showroom, a miniscule amount of what's on display. Let's not even discuss all the catalog options.

Bless my heart.

We started off without too much trouble, selecting lighting to hang beside our front door. We knew what we were looking for, the very helpful sales rep found two or three choices, and we chose. Whoohoo! Go us! A couple of lights in and we're feeling pretty pleased with ourselves. Ha!

We moved into the showroom and the decorator and I landed on the most fabulous chandelier we knew would be perfect in my dining room. Hubs took a little convincing so we set it aside and moved on to the chandelier for the great room. I took a little convincing so we moved on to lighting for the kitchen island. Back to the dining room. Back to the great room. No forget that first option, let's now do this light in the kitchen. Does it come in oiled bronze? Smaller? Bigger? Yes we love the dining room. That chandelier will be fabulous in the great room. If that's going in the great room let's put this in the foyer. Wait, what about the kitchen? Back to our first love, and BAM! Settled.

All that was left after that were all the bathrooms, closets, laundry room, office, lower level great room, garage, porches, and oh yes, ceiling fans.

Bless my heart.

At one point between the second pass at the dining room chandelier and the third go round with the kitchen lighting hubs got on his phone and began furiously texting the builder to come rescue him. No dice, but I did promise a margarita if when we finally wrapped it up, and he re-joined the game. Also, I'm in love with my dining room chandelier in the same way I love beautiful pottery. Looking at it makes me smile.

Remember when lighting was for light? Well lighting is art now, and while the recessed lighting shines enough to let you know you've grabbed an onion not an apple, the rest is for looking pretty.

And that's okay because I like pretty.
Bless my heart.

Indulging in The Hodgepodge

Welcome to another edition of the Wednesday Hodgepodge. If you're visiting from the A-Z Blog Challenge you'll find my post on Letter K by scrolling down to question #8.

For all you Hodgepodgers here today, please note we'll be on Spring Break next week. I need a breather about this time every April, so thanks for understanding. There will not be any Wednesday Hodgepodge next week, April 20th. The Hodgepodge will be back in action the following week, April 27th. 

The A-Z will be here all month long though, which I guess is why they call it a Challenge.

Okay, back to the here and now...this week's questions and my answers. If you've played along today add your link at the end of my post, then go say hi to your neighbor.

1. What's the last thing you did that could be described as 'taxing'? 

Hmmm...I'm going to say coming up with Hodgepodge questions and a post for the letter J on Tuesday, followed by answering the Hodgepodge questions and coming up with something for the letter K today. 

2.  If you cold plant a garden of anything, what would be in it? 

I'd love to have a whole big bed of purple iris. 

3.  April 10-16 is National Library Week...will you celebrate with a visit to your nearest library? When did you last make a trip to the library? What are you reading right now? What's one title on your want-to-read list? 

I still love the library. I love browsing the shelves and checking out real books, so yes I'll make a trip there this week. I was actually there yesterday returning a book. I'm currently reading The Art of Memoir by Mary Karr, but I just finished a book I absolutely loved-My Grandmother Asked Me To Tell You She's Sorry by Fredrik Backman. You can read a short synopsis by clicking on the title link. So good!!

I have a very long to-read list that I add to almost daily. One near the top right now is The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin. 

4. Share a saying or an old wives tale you heard while growing up, you believed to be true or that you paid attention to 'just in case'. 

Chicken soup cures the common cold. It might not cure it, but it definitely helps! 

5. Are you a fan of onions? Garlic? Ginger? What's a dish you love that contains one, two or all three items listed? 

Yes please. I like all three and I love Thai food which typically features any or all on the list.

6. Where does nurturing end and indulging begin? What are some skills or qualities you think a person needs to posses in order to be viewed as mature?

I wanted my children to grow up with the expectation they would work for what they wanted in life. I also wanted them to understand there's a difference between needing something and wanting something, a message I think is contrary to what society tells them. When we begin protecting our children from the consequences of their own actions, their laziness, poor planning or lack of planning, we've become indulgent. 

A mature person is someone who sees a job through to completion, even the parts of the job they don't particularly love. They can admit when they're wrong, handle constructive criticism, and they don't hold a grudge over small slights. Maturity means you pay bills before buying that new iPad, and in general take responsibility for your own actions.  

7. What leading figure in any field would you like to hear speak, and why?

This is a hard question...Bill Gates, Rick Steves, Thomas Sowell, Condoleeza Rice, Peyton Manning. I'm sure there's loads I can't think of right now. 

8.  Insert your own random thought here. 

Using this space again today for my A-Z Blog Challenge post...

K is for The Keeping Room

Do you love your kitchen? Is the kitchen the heart of your home? I've always spent a lot of time in my kitchen because I like reading cookbooks, preparing meals, and in general enjoy the conversations that seem to happen so naturally in that particular room of the house. 

When my girls are home we spend a lot of time in the kitchen. We chop, we stir, we cook. We drink hot tea brewed in pretty cups and solve all the problems of the world. Washington could use a cozy kitchen, don't you think? 

Hubs and I spent a whole day at the cabinet makers and made two trips to the appliance shop to get the kitchen just right. Then hubs made a third trip to add another piece to the puzzle and then later still I made a phone call to change my oven from gas to electric. 

Initially I'd opted for a gas cooktop/gas oven, but after talking to real cooks I decided to go with what I know and choose a gas cooktop with an electric oven. Like everything else in a home build, there are a bajillion decisions to be made when it comes to selecting appliances, plus it feels a little like a shell game...if you buy range x you get dishwasher y for free, but if you buy refrigerator A you get range hood B for free. Huh? And our microwave is a drawer not a cabinet, which is one trend that makes sense. 

My new home will also have what's called a keeping room. The name originated back in Colonial Times, but essentially it's just an extension of the kitchen offering some extra space for cozy conversation. In Colonial times it was a necessity since heat from the kitchen helped make the space warm, but that's not so much an issue in 2016, especially in South Carolina. 

Still we'll have a fireplace and a couple of comfortable chairs, and I like to imagine hubs and I will sip our coffee there on cool winter mornings. I don't have a photograph of the space, and it's still unfinished so not sure a picture would help much anyway, but here's what I call my 'washing dishes view'. Minus the cross bar of course, and with actual glass in the frames. 

I know I post too many pictures of the view y'all, but until the house is built it's all I've got.