Before And After

Continuing with the ten day writing challenge hosted by Kate Motaung.

Today's one word prompt is-After

I've done a few of these five minute writing challenges through the years and know what works best for me is to go with the first thing that comes to mind the minute I read the prompt. I always end up coming back to that first thought anyway, so might as well embrace it from the get-go.

The first thing that popped into my head when I saw today's prompt was 'after school'. I don't know why the brain traveled there. It's been a very very long time since I've had school aged children.

One day you're chaperoning a fourth grade field trip and the next you're somebody's grandmother. The little girls who filled all the empty spaces in your home are teaching school and raising children of their own, and you rarely think about those long ago days of math facts, reading logs, and whispered bedtime prayers.

When I think 'after school' my mind never goes to the teenage years. Instead I am catapulted back to 1990-something and the elementary school where nobody had to buzz you in because it was before.

In my minds eye I see little girls clambering off the bus. Eight years old. Ten years old.

Emotion splayed across their faces at the end of another school day.

Tired. Wired. Hungry. Hurt.
Delighted. Excited.

Full of words or tears, stories about their day spilling out everywhere or drawn out slowly bit by bit.

I take in the always too big backpacks and the everyday after school refrain of 'I'm starving!'.

I see that well loved, well traveled oak table, the one hubs and I bought unfinished when we were newly-marrieds. That table sat in front of the kitchen window and it was there those little girls talked about their day, ate their snack, did their homework.

I remember the plink of piano keys and the ringing of the timer saying practice done.

There were little legs in ballet tights, pony tails in scrunchies, puffy coats.

The sound of little girl chatter in the backseat of my car.

I remember singing.

Freckles across the nose.

Making plans.

I remember thinking after homework, after dinner, after the bedtime routine is through, then I can rest my ears...my brain...my feet.

I remember some days wanting to hurry up to the after.

There are days I'd love just a few more minutes of before.

What's The Plan Stan?

I could waste time here explaining in far too much detail how and why I dropped the blog ball yesterday, but let's just file it under poor planning and move on with the challenge.

Actually I have to add one more thing because if you know me you know I have a hard time simply moving on without explanation. One reason I didn't tackle yesterday's word was because I'd written a five minute post on yesterday's prompt-STORY a few years back. (August 2, 2013 to be exact)

That post lodged itself in my brain, and at the end of a very long Tuesday I lacked the oomph required to come up with something new and fresh. I don't like every blog post I've ever written, but I did like that particular post and have linked it here. Okay, moving on for real now...

Today's one word prompt-PLAN

Well. Isn't that timely? Ha!

What's the plan Stan? We say that a lot here, sometimes in reference to what's on tap for the weekend and sometimes in reference to what's on tap for life. I've always been something of a planner. A list maker-date keeper-goal setter-tell me what's the plan kind of girl. I love party planning, travel planning, wedding planning, meal planning, a week at a glance and dates on the calendar. For the most part this has served me well and I enjoy the sense of accomplishment I feel when a plan comes together.

And then sometimes a plan falls apart.
Completely totally wildly to pieces.

What does a planner do then?

She learns to unwrap her tightly clenched fist, the one holding her notebook or her calendar or her 'picture of the future' and trust God has a better plan. It's hard sometimes because our plans can look good, can even be good and seem like the right and best way forward until kaboom.

Here's what I know. God can make beauty out of the ashes of our blown up hopes and dreams. He  uses the broken pieces of our seemingly good, but ultimately failed plans to teach us, grow us, and give us something better.

We don't want people telling us that in the immediate aftermath of a plan gone awry, but as the dust settles grab hold of that truth and tuck it in tight.

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9

Five Minutes of Today

My blog always needs a jumpstart this time of year, which is why I signed up for a ten day writing challenge beginning today. The challenge is hosted by Kate Motaung and you'll find details here.

In a nutshell...Kate emails participants a one word prompt every day for ten days, then we write for five solid minutes on the day's prompt. Or more than five solid minutes if that's what works for you. Personally I enjoy the five minute challenge because I tend to be an overthinker. Off we go-

Today's prompt is-TODAY

Starting with a toughie. What to write isn't obvious, at least not to me, and I usually like a theme to keep me on track. Will I figure out a theme? Stay tuned. I did glance back at some old calendars for inspiration and realized we are currently five years and a couple of days into retirement.

Five years and a couple of days out from the routine of work life.

Five years and a couple of days removed from job commitments and employer expectations.

In this current season 'today' quite often feels like a giant canvas crying out for paint. But how much paint? And what color? And which brush to use?

When you work full time or you're in the throes of raising children from toddler to teen you don't have a lot of blank canvas to fill. More like the back of a used envelope if you're lucky. Your todays are pretty well laid out for you, and if you do nothing but get a child fed, bathed, and tucked safely into bed at night you've managed a small masterpiece.

Retirement on the other hand means every day is Saturday and it's up to you to throw as much or as little paint on life's canvas as you wish. Dare. Dream.

In the year 2020 my todays nearly always start here.
I watch with awe as the world's best artist turns the charcoal night sky into watercolor day.

It's where I read and think and plan and pray.

Where I prep the canvas of a brand new today.

Leaping Into March

Wow. January was about 317 days long and February lasted only a minute. I have not written a single blog post in February, but fortunately we're in a leap year which means I'm not too late.

Someone I met last night asked me how I fill my time here at the lake and I had to scratch my head a little. I'm never actively looking for something to do because there's always something to do, but what have I been doing this month besides not blogging?

Well there's that darn Coronavirus and babies living in South Korea. I suppose I've spent a fair amount of time this month reading about it, praying about it, and FaceTiming my people with reminders to do/not do all the things they already know to do or not do, but it makes me feel better to remind them anyway. I'm a mom and that's what moms do, right?

Speaking of babies is he just the cutest ever?

His mama is pretty adorable too.

And this guy is just the light of our lives. He is hilarious and chatty and smart and busy. We love these darling boys as hard as we can from a million miles away.

I know it's only 7,000-something but it feels like a million.

So what else is happening round here? Uh, we've had some rain. SOME rain. Lots and lots and lots of rain. Ridiculous amounts in fact but I've decided that is 'winter' in the Palmetto State. Spring is coming and I've got daffodils blooming and we are so ready for blue skies and lake shenanigans.

I've been reading a lot, currently finishing up this month's book club selection-Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate. It's one of those books you read with your stomach clenched because you know incredibly hard sad things have happened and more will be coming with every turn of the page.

I recently finished The Lost Man by Jane Harper and loved it. Set in the Australian Outback and a really good read. I also finished Slaves of Obsession which is a William Monk story for those of you who read Anne Perry, A Nearly Normal Family by M.T. Edvardsson which was good, but I think lost a little something in the translation from Swedish to English, and The Wives by Tarryn Fisher which I thought was a teensy bit crazy.

We're not people who binge watch much, but I got hooked on a Netflix program called Hinterland and had to see it through. Hubs said it was too depressing to watch more than one episode at a time, but I loved it. For one thing it's set in the Welsh countryside and the scenery is spectacular. Makes me long for a trip across the pond in the worst way. The storyline is excellent and while the episodes are long the series season is short.

When I think about it I guess it's just been everyday February life happening round here...exercising, Bible Studying, cooking, card playing, tax organizing, spending time with friends, and of course not blogging. That last bit is about to change because I signed up for a ten day writing challenge hosted by Kate Motaung (go here for details), which means ten blog posts in ten days using the word prompt she provides.

Starting Monday.

Yikes.

Hope you've had a quiet cozy February in your little corner of the world too.

Forward March!

Blog Jambalaya

It seems the month of January is sorely lacking in ready made blog fodder.
What to do, what to do?

How about we make a list?

And since it's Thursday I'm going with thirteen items because that used to be a thing. When there's a whole lotta random and just a tiny bit o' meat a list works-

1. Hubs and I drove to N.J. last week to spend a few days with my mom. She was recovering from the flu, but was feeling a lot better by the time we arrived. We were able to get her office mostly organized for 2020, and see my brother and sister both which was really nice.

2. The flu is wicked this year. My teacher daughter says it's slowly making it's way around her classroom which, UGH! Pass the hand sanitzer please.

Also the Lysol, Emergen-C, clorox wipes, and more hand sanitizer.

3. Hubs and I have decided we don't want to do 12-hour car trips in a single day anymore. We can do 8 hours no problem, 10 hours if we must, but 12 is two hours too many. Plus coming home we were forced to make an unscheduled stop when hubs realized his diet coke cup had a pinhole in it and was furiously leaking into the cup holder. Good times!

4. This guy was with us-

And was not happy I claimed the front seat.
He loves a car ride and is a good traveler.

5. Our other dog which I know is technically daughter2's dog had a minor accident requiring an emergency run to the vet for a leg full of stitches. She's healing really well now, but about two weeks ago this sweet girl slipped crossing a sewer grate and in went her leg. She promptly yanked it out, and chaos ensued.

Truth be told the chaos was less about the dog and more about the fact that hubs was walking her alone and couldn't reach me. I was in the shower and didn't have my phone with me so he had to carry her a fair distance home.

Do you take your phone with you into the shower? Asking for a friend.

6. This little nugget is officially three months old.

photo credit: sincerely-shannon

7. His hair! Grandson number one, aka the mancub, has always had the most fabulous head of hair which I did not think could ever be topped, but this little man is giving him a run for his money. The mancub had more of what we liked to call 'boy band hair'. This one is rocking something like a mohawk and I can't get enough of it.

8. Grandson number two needs a blog name, but I haven't landed on just the right one yet.

9. Perhaps if I made a trip to S. Korea and spent more time with him?

10. I've been reading a lot this month, currently finishing up our book club selection for February-The Amateurs by David Halberstam. In short it's the true story of four young men trying to win a place on the 1984 Olympic rowing team. Once you sort out who's who it's a good read.

11. Still have not tackled my 30-day home organization plan although I did get the frig cleaned out and hubs painstakingly cleaned all the light fixtures til they sparkled. That's something, right? February is a shorter month so perhaps we'll knock the rest out then.

12. These winter sunrises y'all-

13. Absolutely breathtaking-

Happy New You!

We're only halfway through January so not too late, right? It never feels like a brand new year to me until somewhere around January 5th or 6th anyway. This year I'm still waiting. Still sipping tea, reading books, and finishing a jigsaw puzzle instead of tackling my 30 day home organization plan I was going to start two weeks ago. Not feeling guilty about it either.

Not too guilty anyway.

My grandson likes to wish us a happy new year when we Facetime, only he says Happy New You!  and it's completely adorable. Will there be a new me this year? I always have high hopes as January 1 approaches that there will indeed be a 'new me' in the coming year. An improved version of the old me, someone with grand plans to do all the things who then actually does them, but I think this year I'll be content with doing a few small things well.

Last year I made a list of 19 things to accomplish in 2019 (read it here) and it was a little depressing to look back and see I only managed to complete six of the nineteen. To be honest number one not happening threw us all for a loop in a hundred different ways and while I may not have done all nineteen I did a number of things that didn't make the list.

Giving myself a high five and leaving 2019 in 2019.

Have I mentioned my birthday? Hubs would say not so far today but the day's not over. Ha! I have a big birthday this year (months from now, but whatever) and I'm feeling some imaginary added sense of pressure to make every minute count. I read the most fabulous thing a gentleman shared online recently about how his 64 year old mother in law revealed to the family at Christmas that she'd spent the past year learning to play the fiddle and then she played (beautifully) a dozen songs without looking at the sheet music.

No one had any idea and they all were completely gobsmacked, it was something she'd always wanted to do so she did it. Keeping it a secret made it all the more special and while I don't want to play the fiddle I do want to think about what it is I've always wanted to do and then do it.

Let's go ahead and make a new list. I'm not going to get bogged down right now in the 'how to make it all happen', but we're sixteen days into the new year and I gotta start somewhere. Here we go-

20 in 20-

chase a dream
pray more
go somewhere I've never been
exercise
write letters
read books
be good to my skin
listen more than I talk
help somebody every chance I get
laugh a lot
clean up my phone
my closet
my desk
see waterfalls
our state capital
nearby historic sites
make some homemade gifts
try some new recipes
write stuff here
leave it in His hands

Happy New You everyone...may 2020 you be the best you yet!

Simply Christmas

Hey. Remember Christmas? I know, right? Time is always a bit nebulous at the end of December but since the new year hasn't rolled in yet I'm going to go ahead and talk about our holiday.

I've always been a big baby about Christmas. I also have grown children living on the other side of the world so I'm learning how to let go of a few bells and whistles while holding on to the real meaning of the season.

I do love some bells and whistles at Christmastime, but knew I'd need a different strategy this year.

This year there were no little girls in the house. Or big girls. Or grandsons, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins. This year Daughter2 boarded a plane for South Korea to spend Christmas with her sister, meet her new nephew, and relish the role of aunt to the cutest little mancubs we know.

Instead of feeling blue about our quiet house I felt so much tenderness in my heart for these girls who have loved each other so well since the day they met. Girls who are sisters, kindred spirits, the best of friends, one another's listening ear...

And you know what? It was enough. A friend shared a little saying on her Facebook page earlier this month and I really took it to heart. It was this-

 'The first Christmas was simple. Mine can be too.' 

I know how to complicate things but this year I just said no. No to overdoing the baking and the buying and the everything and yes to simply Christmas.

Hubs decided he wasn't going to put up outdoor lights and he didn't (there is a lighted wreath but that's him showing restraint). And I decided not to haul my snow village out of the attic because as much as I enjoy seeing it all lit up this time of year the set up (and take down) is such a chore.

We did put up a tree because sitting in front of the tree in the early morning quiet darkness is perhaps my favorite thing.

And because we're not always the best at going small, we also put a tree on the screened in porch.
And a small one on the bar top downstairs, but I drew the line at a third big tree like we normally have.

See I can do small.
And I can like it.

We hung all the stockings and hubs drove to Tennessee and brought his mama here to spend the week with us. We downsized long held traditions keeping just enough to make us feel the way we love to feel this time of year.

There were new memories made, new traditions we'll perhaps carry forward into future Christmas celebrations. Neighbors joined us for a wonderful Christmas Eve dinner and I found a small ham to glaze for Christmas Day. There were cookies baked, cards sent and a few presents under the tree.

There was dock diving and FaceTiming with our people and a boat ride Christmas Day.

The weather y'all! Fantastic!

There was a stroll through tiny town to see the lights and a happpy text from big little girls in their pjs half a world away.

There were grandsons in matching pjs too-

And memories pulled out and dusted off-

There was light and peace and hope and love-

Because one long ago night Christmas simply came-

"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:11