Monday, May 3, 2010

Another Fork Stuck in the Road

Can she write any more about graduation? Why yes, yes she can.

I am probably going to be a little scarce in the blogosphere in the next couple of weeks, give or take a day here and there. We will be celebrating our daughter1's university graduation, moving our daughter2 out of her dorm for the summer, and taking a much needed but too short family holiday before hubs summer travel and the girls summer jobs kick into gear. Do you ever feel a little bit anxious about a holiday ending before it has even begun? That's how I'm feeling right now...we haven't even gotten started and I'm already dreading the vacation coming to a close. Crazy I know but I am so looking forward to family time that has only been had in snippets and weekends and hours and minutes since I don't know when. I cannot wait for uninterrupted forced family fun as we like to call it in our house.

Are you paranoid on your blog? I am vague on dates and times and places but lets just say lots is going on somewhere sometime in the next couple of weeks or so and leave it at that. I may check in but more than likely I will enjoy family and friends and my toes in the sand and save all my many words to share for later when its all a happy memory. I'll give you fair warning when that post goes up so you'll know to settle back with a grande cup o coffee. Or a grande glass o wine.

Lately I've been wondering if some parents approach their first born's university graduation and find that all of their thoughts run along the lines of, "Good job honey!" and "Isn't it going to be nice to only have one tuition bill instead of two?!" or as hubs likes to say, "Hey we're getting a raise!" Or maybe they think , "Okay, get out there and start working so we can take you off the payroll at home?" I mean I have those thoughts too because let's face it, college
kidscan make you feel a little bit like a human ATM, but that's only one part of the experience. Mostly I find myself thinking, where did the college years go? Where did my thirties go? And my forties? Because of course her graduation is all about me.

And I know its not really all about me but when you are a parent, no matter what other jobs and responsibilities you may have, you are somewhat defined by that one title... parent. My daughter has attended school far from home. For the first three years of her university life we were separated by an ocean. We are still many states and miles apart. Yet we are not far apart. She is so much a part of my heart that distance becomes a funny thing.

We've learned a lot during the college years. I mean that is what we paid
a gazillion dollars for, right? But not all of the learning has come from a textbook or the mouth of a professor either...lots of life has been learned living with a roomate or three, in managing and sometimes not managing your time and money, in making choices and decisions about a thousand different things. And yes I did say we because its not just the student who learns...parents also pick up a few things along the way....

you learn how to walk that fine line between encouraging and enabling

when to step in and help and when to let the chips fall where they may

you learn when to hold on tight and when to let go

you learn, much to your hearts worry and relief, that you will never completely let go

you discover that you are no longer chatting and giggling with a little girl but instead you are in deep discussions with a young woman who has hopes and dreams and plans for her future

okay maybe you still giggle

you talk about big stuff, heavy hunger, our government, right and wrong,
black and white and all the shades of gray

you see thru the eyes of a 21 year old girl once more

you remember your own 21 year old self and your hopes and dreams
and plans for your future

only you are living that future and it is different and better than any
dream or plan you made

and you pray your daughter finds that too

George Bernard Shaw is credited with the saying, "Youth is wasted on the young". In other words, they have much freedom without much responsibility and what's worse is they don't even know it. Or appreciate it. I mean, let's face it, mortgage payments, sick children, taxes, aging parents...that's the real and serious stuff life holds for most of us.

In youth we are given the luxury of time and imagination and possibility. It only lasts a moment but in that moment dreams take root and hope grows. And maybe we don't recognize that when we are 21 and are wasting time eating pizza with friends at 2 am, but one day down the road real life will kick in. And when it does, I'm thankful for the hopes and dreams that were planted in youth. I know my daughters will be too.


  1. Will I read another post about graduation?
    Yes, I will.
    And, no! I am never, ever, paranoid about anything regarding my blog.
    You are weird.

  2. What a wonderful post. We're in the midst of learning all those things with OS, and MS isn't far behind (even though he'll only be 15 minutes away from us). Daughter 1 isn't thinking about grad school, is she? :D

  3. Yes, I too have become a little more careful about posting dates.

    Praying your summer is full of blessings, love, and very special memories.

    Hugs, andrea

  4. I've enjoyed reading these graduation posts, and I'm looking forward to hearing more, whenever they show up.

    Have a wonderful time away. Whenever you leave. If you haven't already.

  5. I hope to keep reading more grad post it's exciting time in all your lives and one of the proudest moments. Enjoy your busy life soon vacation will be here.

  6. Can we hear more about graduation? Yes, yes we can. :) I'm going to need pointers for next year when we will also have a college grad. Yikes
    Have a great time celebrating and relaxing and get back to us when you can!

  7. I love this is all so true. I hope you continue to giggle with your girls, it will make you always feel young. I can't wait with my grande wine to see all your pics and read about your stories.

  8. I am not tired of hearing about graduation. I have already had one daughter graduate from undergrad and then graduate school and next year, Adelaide will graduate. I can't believe she will be senior next fall. Enjoy the graduation festivities, time away with family and get lots of rest and relaxation. Be sure and have plenty of laughter and giggles with the girls! Wonderful post, as always! Love & blessings from NC!

  9. Congratulations to your daughter. It is such an exciting time...for both child and parents. Have a great family vacation...unfortunately, they may be coming fewer and farther between. Last Christmas was the first time both my boys were home for more than a couple of weeks. Will it happen again? You never know! But you enjoy every minute you possibly can.

  10. It is so true. Youth is wasted on the young but that is life and how God meant it to be.
    These are exciting times. I remember when my son graduated, what a proud moment. I don't really worry about my blog but I know that I won't talk about vacation until it's over. I would pre-post things! Have fun and enjoy.

  11. What a fun time, and a wonderful post. My daughter will be 28 this year. It hardly seems possible, and in a whirl it will be Eden graduating. Enjoy these times, every single second, they pass way to quickly!
    until next time... nel

  12. Such a beautiful, beautiful post, Joyce. Every word.