Monday, December 21, 2020

Wedding Planning In The Time Of Corona

We have a wedding coming up in the not too distant future, and I'm not saying a whole lot about it beforehand because everyone has opinions and I don't want to hear yours concerning this-ha. Kidding. Only not really. It just seems like everyone is in each other's business these days, making judgements without all the facts, and it's exhausting. We're making the best decisions we can for our family and those decisions may be something different than what your family would opt for in similar circumstances, and that's okay. God bless America. 

I don't know of any brides who picture hand sanitizer and face masks as important details to their day, but here we are and might as well embrace it. We know someone who was married last weekend, an event that looked a lot different than the way the couple imagined it would look when pre-Corona planning first began, yet still beautiful and so very meaningful. Maybe even more meaningful because of all it took to get there. 

This is true of so many engaged couples in 2020. While re-imagining your wedding day is not the end of the world it is a disappointment that needs to be felt and processed. And then I think it needs to be tucked away in your heart and mind for some future date when God will remind you of the lessons learned in this strange season that need calling up in whatever new and challenging season you find yourself in.

That's how life seems to work, or how I think God works anyway. We can't always see the why of a hard thing when we're in the middle of it, but somewhere down life's road when we're faced with disappointment, we're struck by the memory of how we coped and even thrived 'back in the day'.  

It's not easy organizing a wedding in the middle of all the crazy, but one of the good things that's come out of it I think is there are far fewer couples getting married right now 'on the fly'. Brides and grooms have to be all in to get married during a pandemic. There are umpteen hoops to jump through and you don't just decide one day to get married because you want a big bash with 200 of your closest friends. Not gonna happen in the age of Corona. There are restrictions and limits and you cannot have everything you dream of having on your special day because you need to consider numbers and spacing and the actual health and safety of your guests. 

Weddings for the most part these days, are smaller more intimate affairs, and above all they seem more focused on the significance of what you're signing on for. In the year of Corona couples must ask themselves do we want to get married or do we want to have a wedding? 

So you plan. You adjust your expectations and you look for all the bits of joy to be found along the way. This is perhaps one of the more challenging aspects of planning a wedding right now, people are not feeling particularly celebratory. We're cranky and depressed and tired. Some are sick and fearful. We're missing people we can't get near, and we're anxious about so very many things, the virus of course but also the general state of our nation. 

Cue the joy.


It's what we need. 

We need smiles that make your cheeks hurt, all the heart eye emojis, and wedding bells chiming because time doesn't stop. It marches on and we need to march with it. I was thinking about how pretty much all the large milestones in my life have been met...education, marriage, a career I enjoyed, birthing and raising children. In most ways this pandemic has not changed any of my long term plans. No we're not traveling like we might, nor are we seeing friends like we might, but there's nothing on the timetable of my life right now that needs to happen before I'm x years old. 

The same can't be said for my daughter's generation, or those coming behind her or the ones just a little bit ahead. The under 55's want college degrees or to get a business off the ground, to marry, travel, have children, take that new job, earn that promotion, and time is very much a factor. 

So you get married during a pandemic. A pandemic that might end in a year or be with us in one way or another for always. You look at the boy you love and want to spend the rest of your life with and you say I DO. While the day might not look exactly the way you imagined, I believe it's possible for it to look even better. To feel more magical. A precious memory made and cherished because in the middle of chaos you found joy. 

And it's contagious. 

You already know life will not always go according to plan, and still you take each other by the hand. You say come what may we're in this together and you mean it. 

Forever and ever. Amen. 

17 comments:

  1. I am still excited and so happy for your dear D2 and her guy! Looking forward to seeing photos and reading all about the wedding and understand completely about keeping the plans on the QT right now. Planning any kind of event during these times is hard. Bless you!! And I wish you ALL a beautiful Christmas!

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    1. Oh I'll post pics for sure! We're all happy and excited. It's nice to have something wonderful on the calendar.

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  2. I can't wait to share the joy with this sweet granddaughter and her sweetheart. See you soon and well said Joyce.

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  3. Oh, I'm sooooo excited for Maggie and her Beau, such a lovely couple. I can't wait to see pics afterwards. I know it will come off without a hitch and may they live happily ever after. Sweet times!

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    1. Thank you. We are so excited too. Once you get your head around a smaller event you are able to really enjoy the planning.

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  4. My heart goes out to anyone planning a wedding right now. My Son in law's sister is getting married January 2nd and both my daughter & SIL are in the wedding - and it's in Maine. We were supposed to go, but have decided it best not to because of CoVid. The church has closed due to it, and the hall will only allow 50 people. Which is just as well because most, especially those from out of state, have regretfully replied 'no'. The bride has cried many tears of disappointment, but is determined to go forward with it. As it sounds like with your daughter and her guy. I hope it is 'joy'ful and still a very special day. Blessings to all.

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    1. I emailed you a longer reply, but yes, I think moving forward is the right thing to do. We honestly don't know what things will look like a few months from now or even a year from now. Happy wedding day to your daughter's sister-in-law!

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  5. Beautifully said. Best wishes in your planning this special day.

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  6. May God bless this union with joy and stability and may you all be able to experience the joy of this special time together!

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  7. Oh you said all of this soo well. I am excited for them and you as you prepare to celebrate this wonderful event in these troubled times. May God richly bless them both with a long and sweet life together!

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  8. One of my jobs at the church where I work is to schedule weddings on the big church calendar. One of the hardest things I've done this year is call the brides and explain our church's covid guidelines. The very first wedding that was scheduled . . .the bride (who I didn't know) and I cried together on the phone. The most interesting thing is that after each of these tiny weddings - 12 people total including bride, groom, and pastor - the brides have been overwhelmed with the sweetness of the wedding. I think you hit the nail on the head -- does the couple want to get married or does the bride (or groom) just want a wedding. My prayer is that whatever y'all have chosen for your family is filled with sweetness, goodness, light, and joy!!

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  9. So beautifully said! For the couples getting married now, they will have some great stories to tell years from now.

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  10. Well said Joyce. It's certainly difficult planning a wedding right now. We've gone from being able to have 30 guests back up to to 60 then down to 30, then 15, then 6 and now no weddings in what seems a very short space of time. My cousin's daughter (who's in Hong Kong) was planning a wedding for family and friends in Croatia. They tried to make it work for a while but eventually gave up and are now hoping to celebrate in 2021. In the meantime they just went and got married. no fuss, no hoo hah, no celebration. Being married was the important thing, not the party etc. I hope your daughter's wedding goes well when the time comes and look forward to reading about it.

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  11. Excellent post Joyce. I'm always impressed with your writing. I can't imaging planning a wedding during this time but I understand how important it is to move forward and work around Covid. I wish them all the best.

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