Monday, May 3, 2010

More than a feeling

Today's post is part of this week's one word blog carnival...visit Bridget to read more posts on the word-Joy

something is wrong
can you come home?
a million black spots dance in front of my eyes
they're everywhere

emergency room
jam packed
every room full
blood pressure skyrockets
lie down now
on a table in the hall please

and still it climbs
and climbs some more

officially scary
admitted
prepare to deliver

it's too early
baby is too small
tests
more tests

lie on your left side please
24/7
3 long days in hospital
every day might be the day
every moment the moment

day number 4
go home but...
lie on your left side please
for the next six weeks
no buts

see doctor 4 times a week
a short ride in the car
still it climbs
lie on your left side please
and back down it goes

not normal
but better than a skyrocket

wait
talk to God
talk to baby
wait some more
on my left side

days pass
weeks too
hello due date
visit doctor
induce tomorrow
go home
water breaks
return

tell me please
what is up with my blood pressure?!?
very scary now

baby arrives
ITS A GIRL
she's not crying
dr. tells her to cry
so she does

such a good girl
from minute one
oh so tiny
sweetness and perfection

dr. lays her on my chest
my daughter
this is my daughter
big beautiful eyes
that look right into mine

and so it begins
it starts in my heart
no
somewhere deeper
it overflows
is there even a word?

days unfold
and months go by
years too
laughter and tears
sunshine and rain

then once upon a suddenly is here
baby daughter is grown up girl
she looks into my eyes
I feel it still
more than happiness
so very much more

there is a word
that word is joy

16 comments:

  1. Thank you for a beautiful story and poem. The road to joy can be scary, indeed.

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  2. I love it when stories have happy endings. It must have been terrifying for you & your hubs.

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  3. Ahhhhh.

    I sigh and feel your joy, my joy, all mother's joy.

    Beautiful.

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  4. Love this. And yes, it is absolutely amazing how quickly the time goes.
    My oldest will turn 25 in a few weeks. Sigh. Where did the time go?
    Have a wonderful day!
    karen

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  5. Been there, babe. Not fun to live through, but worth it in the end.

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  6. You can tell there are so many emotions in not so many words. Nicely "said" :)

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  7. Every mother recognizes some part of her own experience in your story, that part that takes just the three letters.

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  8. Wonderful post! From frightening to frighteningly joyful!

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  9. To read this is to hope -- and then hope is realized. It's a poem that tells a story -- and tells a heart.

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  10. Great post!!! You are such a wonderful writer and can express yourself so well. I always love reading what you write. Love & blessings from NC!

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  11. Marvelous! This poem tells such a wonderful story!

    Blessings,
    Jay

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  12. What a beautiful tribute to your daughter!

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  13. Pure joy! Beautiful post, Joyce. Thank you.

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