Hodgepodge Questions-Volume 218

Hello Hodgepodgers, A to Zer's, and anyone else who happened to land here on a Tuesday morning. If you're visiting from the A-Z Challenge, my post for letter R will be up a little later today. In the meantime feel free to click here and read Q.

Or hang around and join the Wednesday Hodgepodge.
I post the questions on Tuesdays and the whole wide world answers on Wednesdays.

One more item of business...I'm going to declare next week Spring Break in the Hodgepodge. What that means is no Hodgepodge on Wednesday, April 29th. The HP will be back to it's regularly scheduled programming the following week, Wednesday May 6th.  Thanks everyone!

1. Have you ever had to wear a uniform? If yes, tell us more. Did you love it or hate it?

2. April 22nd is Earth Day. What is one thing you do personally to be a good steward of planet Earth?

3. Brown rice, quinoa, or couscous...your healthy grain of choice? How often are one of the three on your menu at home?  Given a choice between white rice, brown rice, wild rice, and fried rice which would you go for? 

4. In your opinion, who has the best job ever?

5. What's a situation in your life currently requiring patience? 

6.  Do you live your life around days of the week? Explain.

7. In a nod to the A to Z challenge happening around town this month, what 'R word' best describes your April? 

8. Insert your own random thought here.

Dream On

Way back when...July 31, 2012 to be exact...I posted a list. It was something I'd seen on my Daughter1's blog, but it was also making it's way round the Internet. I thought it looked like fun so I hopped aboard the copycat train and joined the party.

The challenge was called 101 in 1001 and the idea was to create a list of 101 to-do's, and then tick them off in 1001 days. 1001 days is just under three years, which sounded like a long time, but here it is April 2015 and time's up. I thought today I'd revisit my list and share some thoughts I have about the project. You'll find my list here. 

Q is for Quite a List 

Do you set personal goals for yourself? I mean actual write them down and have a plan to meet them kind of goals? How about a bucket list? Things you want to do in your lifetime? A wish list? Things you'd do if time and money and circumstances allowed?

I think my 101 is a combination of all three.

I've always been a list maker. A dreamer and a list maker. When there are things you want in life, be they noble pursuits such as to develop healthier habits, or just enjoyable things you hope to experience,  like one day speak French in France, you're going to need  more than a dream and a list. You need to articulate what it is you want, but then you need a plan to make it happen.

Otherwise all you've got is a list. 

As the saying goes, 'If you want something different, do something different.'

You know that other saying, 'Her eyes were bigger than her stomach'? Yeah, well I guess you could say her dreams were bigger than her reach. Or maybe her pocketbook-ha! A little of both probably because wow, my list was ambitious in some areas, particularly travel. Not sure how I thought I was going to manage all that, but it sure was fun thinking about it.

So where exactly do I stand on Day 993?

I've completed roughly 30 items, so 30% of my list. That might not sound like a lot, but I actually feel pretty good about the number. As I've periodically revisited my list I've realized there are some things that no longer need doing, and a few things I no longer have any real desire to do.

Also, there were several items on the list whose success rate I found hard to quantify. For instance anything involving a change in habit like #93-Exercise at least 4x week'. There are many, many weeks where that happens and some weeks where I get close but don't quite hit the number 4. The important thing to note is that exercise has become a regular part of my weekly routine and that's a huge gain from where I was in 2012. Winning!

#1 on the list is staring me down (transfer our videos to DVD). That's been on my to-do list far longer than 1001 days, and probably the one thing I feel most guilty about not completing.

Yes lists and guilt occasionally go hand in hand.

Some things on my list were heavy, some frivolous.
I think a balanced life requires a little of both.

There are several items on the list I've made a dent in, but where I fell short of my actual target. #97- Write our sponsored children once a month lands under this heading as does #83-try one new recipe a month. We sponsor three children, and while I haven't written each one monthly I have written each one several times a year. I've also tried loads of new recipes, but not necessarily one each month.

I think I'm okay with falling a bit short in those areas where I overoverreached a little in scope. I did  make a good effort to do better than I've ever done before, and that feels like an accomplishment.

Still working on #52-make a playlist of my 100 favorite songs.
You can't rush greatness.

So what's my plan going forward?

To make a new list of course! Who's with me? 

Retirement Day 47

Here I am blogging on a Saturday like I said I don't do. Especially Saturdays where the forecast calls for sunny skies all weekend long, so whoohoo! 

Before we head out into the glorious spring, let's talk retirement. 

Where everyday is Saturday. 

That's kind of the first thing you have to figure out...is everyday Saturday? I suppose it could be but we're still trying to mark the weekend as the weekend, and then have some sort of loose schedule during the week. On Thursdaysaturday we were here-

Yeah, we haven't quite got that schedule thing down pat yet, but hey it was a bright and beautiful Thursday so why not hike to the top of a nearby mountain? 

Why not enjoy a picnic lunch on a big rock with a view. 

Why not take a selfie?

Add selfies to the list of things we don't quite have the hang of...a noble goal for retirement don't you think?

We do try to run errands, complete household chores and take care of any business that needs taking care of during the week. And let me just say for the record there is a lot of business to attend to in the early days of retirement.

Paperwork to be read and digested. Monies to be deposited, moved, or rolled over. All the tax hoopla to understand before anything is deposited, moved or rolled. Also, true confession-financial planners and my husband toss out that 'roll over' phrase with great frequency. I only halfway know what they're talking about, but I nod a lot so we can move along. 

Oh wait, this post needs a letter.

P is for Par-tay! 

Since I'm blathering on about retirement let's go back and revisit Day 12 which I intended to mention on Day 13, but we flew to Texas on Day 13 so I'll mention it now on Day 47. 

On Day 12 there was a fabulous fun party thrown to help mark and celebrate this milestone in hubs career.

It was one part sweetly sentimental, four parts hilarious. 

Hubs loves his bow ties and the party organizers had a little fun with that. They even got the company bigwigs to don bow ties for the occasion. 

Course hubs had to help with the tying, but it's in his skill set so not a problem. There's an art to tying a bow tie and it takes a lot of practice to get it 'just so' without swearing. 

My hubs is a people person if ever a people person there was.

If people person were in the dictionary his picture would be right there beside it. He loves his 'peeps', so it was appropriate these were on the table at each place setting.

We've made so many wonderful friends in the thirty years he's been with this company. There were several speakers who shared stories and memories of time spent working with hubs and they were all so special. It's a really lovely thing to hear people confirm what you already know about the person you love.

The words both funny and touching, meant so much to both of us.

A wonderful way to mark the end of one chapter, the start of another...

...the one where everyday is Saturday if you want it to be.

O Happy Day

On this date one year ago, my now son-in-law asked Daughter1 to marry him.  

Swoon. This picture is so amazing. I see it now and still cannot get over the way this wonderful photographer captured all that sweet emotion. 

Eight and one half months later they said I Do. 

O is for O Happy Day

I'm still a little bit in love with the wedding photos.

Still in the process of having my book made, still full of all the happiness that flowed in abundance on that January day.

It's Friday and Fridays are made for happy, so I thought I'd bombard you with a few more pictures because why not? All wedding photo credits go to Chris Isham, photographer extraordinaire.

I periodically have my blog bound into a hardcover book, and I want all the happy recorded there too. 

The tender happy.

The sweet smiling happy.

The laughter bubbling over spilling out happy.

The precious friends so happy for your happy. 

The happy dance.  

The hubs making his baby girl (aka the maid of honor) laugh kind of happy.

The pure unadulterated happiness found in a great spinning dress.

The alone in the middle of a crowd kind of happy.

And the best kind of happy...

photo credit: Daughter1

....the happily ever after kind. 

One Is Silver And The Other Gold

A 'blog' friend i.e, someone I know by way of blogging, who I'm positive would be a real life friend if geography allowed, asked me a question the other day which prompted this post. She's lived in the same mid-western town for many many years and will soon be relocating north for her husband's work. To clarify I live east and am moving south because my hubs retired. Same thing. Sort of.

My friend has a daughter in high school who will move with them, but also two kids in college who will stay put out west. And because she's been settled in one spot for so long, she wondered if I had any tips on moving in this season of life.

That would be the season where your small children no longer have play dates with other small children whose mothers can then become your ready made friends.

N is for The New Girl

I got to thinking about what it's like to be the new girl in the middle of your life. How do you settle in, find your niche and your comfort zone and one real friend, because no matter where we roam, I think we all need one true friend in the place we call home.

I'm going to start by saying it's hard to be the new girl once you hit a certain age. I've been the new girl lots of times in my life, but moving in my late 40's was by far the most challenging. Granted we'd also been living out of the country for a number of years, so there was more going on than 'just a move', but still it was hard.

Women my age who've lived in a place for a while tend to have their friends and their routines and their tightly knit circles, and they don't necessarily feel the need to make room for one more. That's not a slam, it's just truth. I don't think it occurs to them because they really don't need more friends.

So from the get go, I think it's important to have realistic expectations about life in a new place. Probably the first thing to acknowledge and make peace with is that it won't look exactly like life in the old place. Some bits will look so much better, but others will make you want to cry for all you've left behind.

It's okay to cry. A little. But don't wallow. Pick yourself up and get out of the house, maybe even every day. That's a biggie. Head to where the people are....Target, the library, the supermarket. Being around people, even people you don't know, helps you remember there is a life to be made in this new place eventually.

Join something. A lot of women say they aren't joiners, but when you move in mid-life you're going to want to connect somewhere, and it's likely not going to be the bus stop or the Saturday morning soccer field unless you've got young children. For me personally, church is an excellent place to begin. I enjoy being part of a women's Bible Study, so I seek that out as soon as I land somewhere new.

As soon as you land. That's important. Don't wait...don't say I'll do it tomorrow, or next week, or as soon as the house is all put together. Don't use the house as an excuse to hibernate. If a neighbor invites you for coffee (God bless that neighbor!) then go. If you haven't met your neighbors take a walk around the block and see what you can see.

If your local library is starting a book club and that's your thing, sign up. Find a yoga class or a knitting group or a food pantry looking for volunteers. It's easy to stay tucked away feeling a little bit sorry for yourself, but the world may not come to you. You might have to go to it.

Many towns have newcomers clubs of one sort or another, and they're often a place to find out about fun things happening in your area, and to hopefully meet someone like yourself. A newbie looking for a friend. Even if this is something you've never done before, give it a try. Go in not thinking you'll hate it, but rather with an open mind. Remember you're not signing up or joining something for life. If you discover it's not for you, nobody's going to judge you harshly.

In the modern world moving many states or countries away no longer means cutting ourselves off completely from the friends we've left behind. Part blessing, part curse. Thanks to Facebook, texting, iChat, Skype and all the rest it's awfully easy to spend the days still completely immersed in the goings on 'back home'.

Except that's not  home anymore.
You live here now, and need to figure out how to make this this new thing great too.

Also, your old life wasn't all great. Ha!

Believe me, at first you'll likely remember it as rosy rose rose, but go ahead and admit to yourself that life wasn't perfect there either. Don't spend so much time online with your old friends and life that you miss out on what's right in front of you.

The attitude with which we enter a new opportunity so often determines how we adjust. Once the decision has been made to relocate put your head down and get on with it. Decide from Day 1 that you are going to like it.

And you probably will.

Maybe not all at once, but day by day this new place will grow on you until one day you wake up and realize you're home.

Lastly, a note to all you folks who have your roots dug down deep in a place you've lived forever. There are women like me everywhere I go. Women who've moved a lot who are trying to find a way to make this new place feel like home. Try to notice the new girl. Try to slide over a little and make room. 

I am always looking for the new girl. 

I feel her loneliness and her anxiety and her wobbly self-confidence. 

I want to tell her she's brave and it will be okay. 

Better than okay. 

A Medley of Thoughts

Welcome to the Wednesday Hodgepodge, and also today's A-Z Challenge post for the letter M. You'll find that by scrolling down to #8. If you've answered today's questions add your link at the end of my post, and then go say hi to your neighbor.

Please do not link here if you have not answered the questions. I understand the desire, but this space is reserved on Wednesdays for the Hodgepodge only.  Thanks for understanding! 

1. Speaking of April 15...what's the most 'taxing' thing you've done recently?

Hmmm...most things I find taxing around here have to do with actual taxes, so there's that. Also, we're selling a house and the whole process is a little bit taxing. Maybe even more than a little. 

2. When did you last take a taxi somewhere and where was that somewhere?

I'm trying to remember. Every now and then we grab a cab to get from point A to point B in the city, but I don't think we've needed to do that in a while. We try to walk everywhere. We did take a taxi in Portugal last summer, and that might be the last time I was in a cab. 

3. What's something you can do today that you couldn't do a year ago?

Call myself a mother-in-law! 

photo credit: Chris Isham 

4. How often is chicken (in some form or fashion) on your menu at home? Which of the following would you most like to see on your table tonight....a chicken salad sandwich, your mom's fried chicken, a Chick-fil-A meal, Cracker Barrel's chicken n' dumplings, a roast chicken dinner with all the trimmings, or 'hold the chicken, I'm a vegetarian'...?

We had chicken last night. I typically have a salad topped with grilled, roasted, or barbecued chicken at least one night a week, and then also have it fixed some other way at least once or twice more. I like chicken and you can change it up with so many different flavors and preparation styles.  

Of the chickens listed I'd choose Chick-fil-A. We don't have Chick-fil-A in our neck of the woods, so it's a pretty rare treat. 

5. What was your favorite television program when you were a kid? What characters do you remember the most?

Define kid. I'm not sure I can choose just one, but some of my favorites growing up were The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Here Come the Brides, The Partridge Family, My Three Sons, The Brady Bunch, and The Mod Squad.

I loved Mary Tyler Moore. I wanted a cool apartment and my own theme song.  

6. What was the last piece of 'art' you made?

Lots of diy-ing happened here in December. Daughter1 and I spent more than a few hours working together on some of the detail that made her wedding day feel personal. I haven't done a whole lot of 'crafting' since then, since we've been busy preparing for a move. 

7. What frustrates you most about the Internet?

Probably pop up advertising and videos that refuse to load. 

8. Insert your own random thought here.

Once again using this random space today for my A-Z Challenge post....

M is for The Change

Can't really have change as my theme without talking about The change. 

Yes with a capital The. Like death and taxes, it's unavoidable. At least I think it's unavoidable. If there's a way to avoid it nobody told me. 

I'd excuse the men here, but you have to live with us, so you might want to read to the end-ha! 

In my experience, this is not a change you can really prepare for. It's a bit like being hit by a mack truck and surviving to tell the tale. You regroup, take inventory of what still works, and make allowances for what doesn't. You carry on, a little wobbly at first, but recover your footing eventually. 

You don't expect your footing to be perfect either. 

Good enough is suddenly pretty good. 

I remember feeling just a little bit crazy. Hubs will attest to this-ha! I told my Dr. I wasn't myself...that something was wrong, but I could not articulate precisely what that something was. And my doctor bless him, didn't call me crazy. 

But y'all I was a little crazy. 

Maybe not crazy, but definitely not rational. I felt like I was in a perpetual fog. Like my blood was no longer racing through my veins, but instead was crawling through at a snail's pace. My memory has always been sharp as a tack, and suddenly I couldn't remember my own name. 

I gained weight literally overnight and my eyesight went from 20/20 to can't-see-the-fine-print-or-the-big-print either. I won't bore you with the rest like all the less than positive changes to my hair, skin, and more but trust me it's akin to Invasion of the Body Snatchers. 

It all feels quite rude, which I think is the hardest part about the whole thing. You're going along feeling confident, energetic and really good about hitting some sort of stride in your 40's. You know yourself or at least feel like you do, and BAM! in a literal  flash you seem to be falling apart. You wonder who is this person? 

It takes some time to figure it all out and you need to be kind to yourself while you do, because you will figure it out. You won't stay stuck in the fog forever, although there are still  foggy days now and then. You will still occasionally want to open the freezer and climb in for a minute to cool off, but the intensity of it all subsides. I know some women take hormones, but I wasn't a candidate for those so needed to find other ways of  regaining my equilibrium. 

Diet and exercise. 

Yup. Two things I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to in my 20's and 30's suddenly took center stage. I reached my late 40's never needing to think about my weight. And exercise? Blech. Swimming and hiking were wonderful in a natural setting, but I wasn't a gym rat. I liked being outdoors, and if exercise naturally fit with that, then okay. Otherwise, blech!

Hello new habits. 

It's taken me a while to find what works for me, and I imagine everyone's different. No gimmicks or tricks, just a healthy diet with less sugar, little or no processed foods, and a regular early morning appointment with my boot camp peeps. 

It really is true what 'they' say...you're never too old to learn something new. 
Change sometimes forces you to recognize that. 

Go Jump In A Lake

If you're looking for this week's Wednesday Hodgepodge questions click here.  

L is for Lake

Hubs and I are water people. It's our happy place. We love looking at it, swimming in it, and boating on it. Our plans for someday have always included a house on a lake. A house with a dock, and a deck from which to sip our morning coffee. A spot where the view inspires deep thought or no thought. A place where our sweet girls and their families could look forward to visiting when life allows.

Someday is now.

Well, almost now. We're on our way to now. The house isn't built, but we've got more than a plan. We purchased a lot on our favorite lake and we'll build a house there. South Carolina.

We've never built a house from scratch.
I hear it's kind of a big deal.

That first photo was taken standing on the lot. Our realtor snapped this photo from his boat when they were out checking water depth. Water depth matters to boaters. Also- where does the sun set and do skiers turn around here and is the lot a gentle slope and a whole bunch more.

Our lot is more or less center there. We're on a point at the edge of a cove, which is exactly the sort of lot we hoped to find when we began looking in earnest. The house you see on the left in his photo belongs to our future next door neighbor. Hi Neighbor!

I'm kind of all about the view.
Which is lovely.

Our lot is still thick with trees, many of which will come down in the house build. Those that don't come down will be limbed halfway up their trunk to open up the view. We're pretty excited, but are keeping that in check mostly  until we sell our current home.

I like to imagine myself sitting on our brand new patio sipping a glass of bubbly while the sun sinks low over the water. Hubs tells me a few thousand things need to happen first.

Psht. Details.