Thursday, April 11, 2013

J is for Journey

Parenting 20-somethings is not what I imagined it would be. Truth be told, I never really imagined grown up children. In my head they would always be ten years old asking for a good night kiss.  

Earlier this week I went to lunch with a friend. A blog friend I've gotten to know in real life, who has two girls very close in age to mine. We talked about some of the things she has coming up, which of course includes helping a child move because that's just how life rolls in this leg of the parenting journey.   

Dear Moms of Littles-Start lifting weights and working those glutes, because in a few short years you'll be hauling bins and boxes up and down stairs, and in and out of storage places more times than you can count. The temperature will be something like 95 degrees with 100% humidity. You, the person who never swears, will likely at some point in the day utter a naughty word.

Trust me...I speak from experience here.

Know too that you might go days or weeks without either of your children needing anything at all,  but the day you have to move one will for sure be the very same day the other will require your presence at something somewhere not near the move you are making. Everything always happens at once.

You laugh and delegate and list-make and coordinate, and through the magic that is motherhood you make sure what needs to happen happens.

As my friend and I were talking my voice mail rang. I looked at my phone and had three missed texts and two voice mail messages from my own girls. They never leave voice messages because Generation Y believes in the power of the almighty text, so I knew they needed something rightthisveryminute.

I apologized for returning my daughter's call, but she'd used an exclamation point in her text.  My friend just laughed, and said no need to explain...she's in the very same place.

Daughter1 was calling from the accountants, trying to get her taxes done on her lunch hour.  She needed me to tell her the purchase date of some sort of investment we have that's in her name, and since that's not the kind of information I keep at the top of my brain, I had to scrounge thru my phone to find the investment guy's number.

fyi-I do not excel at locating information in old emails on my phone. I finally thought to tell her to look on the form she held in her very own hand and voila, problem solved.

Sometimes I'm like superwoman.

In another state, but at the very same younger daughter was also trying to reach me.  I knew she had gone to the doctor to confirm a suspected case of pink eye, something that goes part and parcel in working with young children, so I assumed she was calling to let me know what the doctor said. Even when you're 22 your mama still likes to know what the doctor said.

When I listened to the message though, it was something else entirely. Lots of words explaining how she was in the apartment rental office, renewing her lease and something needed signing and something needed faxing and what number should they fax it to, and fyi-this is also not the kind of thing I keep at the top of my brain.

Perhaps I should re-evaluate what information I am keeping at the top of my brain.

I managed to find the number on my phone, and done.
Another problem solved.

I'm impressed with the way my daughters manage their own lives.  I'm also glad they still want to run things by me, ask my opinion, get confirmation that yes, they're doing the right thing. 

The journey to adulthood is like most roads traveled.  Smooth and straight in some spots, big ole potholes to dodge in others.  My girls are strong and determined...full of passion and heart. They have big dreams and plans to make those dreams come true. The future is theirs for the taking...

...and every now and then, they still like their mama to help point the way.


  1. Enjoyed our lunch and I'll let you know how I managed to do "two" major things this weekend. I already checked the temperature for the day high 50's. I would say that is in my favor. Have a good weekend!

  2. Perfect picture! Love it! You are so right Joyce about the journey with daughters! And, you are totally right about moving them (many times) and always on the hottest, most humid day! I relate. I too get phone calls and texts from my 20-something daughters. Sometimes asking for answers, needing help, but sometimes to check in with/on me - and they are the best ones!!

  3. Somehow us mothers can always sort it. It's when they stop asking or telling us things we have to worry.

  4. I love that picture and that last line. I, too, will be having 4 children of my own moving out one day. Not looking forward to it. I like having them home.
    Dani @ Entertaining Interests

  5. Oh Joyce, you described this phase/stage of life so perfectly. I have had the same situations and I love how this brought it all back to me.
    I hope many young mothers are reading.

  6. I really enjoyed reading this because I am in my 20's and have seen how my relationship with my parents has changed since I was a teen. I still need their help, though. I call for taxes, flat tires, benefit enrollments, etc etc. But I also call just to say hi.

  7. i do think it is more a girl thing---my boys, hardly ever call and ask me anything haha, but it's okay as long as they are happy----loved this and so cool you made a real friend from a blogging friend!!

  8. Again, loved this! soo true. It's true in their 30's too...just in an even yet different way. I love that they always "need" us. Enjoy your day!

  9. What you do have at the top of your brain is how much you love your girls and how proud your are of them. They are fortunate to have you to help point the way for the big things and small on their journey.

  10. Oh yes the questions you get with adult children are so much different than when you have young ones. They are more difficult and always seem to need a major decision. But I wouldn't trade it for anything.

  11. Oh boy how I know this to be true! Especially the moving. Ugh, the moving.

    When the kids were little, I used to tell the Hubby, I can be in two places at once but not quite three. :)

    I can tell something's up and they NEED me/something when the phone conversation begins with . . . "hi ... sooo." Ha.

  12. Great post! And you are so right! I am so glad my daughter even at 31 still calls and asks me for advice when needed or to share fun times. She called yesterday to see when we were coming in May because Eden wants to make sure we are at part of her ball games. We rearranged our schedule so we can make 3 of them. What we do for kids and grands! But wouldn't trade this life for anything!
    until next time...nel

  13. Big changes when they hit the 20s to be sure. Guys don't need us as much as girls do

    Nice article / I do miss the little ones

  14. I am totally sending this to my mom (mother of a 30, 27 and 25 year old). She will definitely appreciate it. I will ALWAYS need my mom!

  15. Being a daughter in my 20s, your post makes me smile. There is just something so wonderful about having a mother or a mother figure to call when I need help or have a question. We still love you and need you no matter how far away we are from you :) Happy J Day!

  16. And one day the will be 30 something children....and married....and becoming missionaries to Moldova. Life is a journey....sometimes we think we are lost....but really we are just exploring. Loved your J post.

  17. I love how you tell a story. Thanks for sharing and I'm finding my life is a lot like yours right now. :)

  18. My kids are both in college and I'm laughing because they occasionally call needing things that...I don't have on the top of my brain either! Thankfully I'm a pretty organized person so can usually find what they need quickly.

    When I was in college I communicated with my parents through letters I wrote by hand, put in an envelope and mailed (can you imagine???) or when I put quarters in the pay phone at the end of the hall. I'm really glad that it's easier to communicate with them in 2013!

    Thanks for a great post!
    Shelly From A to Z.