D is for De.Ter.Mined.

Determined.
That's us.

Or maybe we're just stubborn?

Daughter2 and I were talking yesterday about what word I would use for the letter D, and we both hit on this one at the same time. I commented that I think we're all pretty determined in this house, and she said, 'or else we're just stubborn.'

Hmmm...I suppose that's one way of looking at it, but determined sounds nicer so we'll go with that.

My girls come by this trait honestly. When hubs sets his mind to something he's like a dog with a bone.  You may as well get on board because he ain't droppin' it. Most of the time that's a good thing...lists get checked, to-dos get done, adventure happens. Sometimes it can be a teensy bit exhausting, but he makes life happen and for that we are all grateful.  Our lives would look very different today if hubs didn't have the determination to fix his mind and heart on something out there in the future and then run after it with all his might.

Then there's me. My mother and siblings will tell you my most commonly uttered phrase as a child was this- "I can do it myself."  See, not stubborn at all. Just determined. Ha.

I looked up both words in the dictionary to see where the difference lies and here's what Webster had to say-

Determined: having firm or fixed intention to achieve a desired end. 

Yes. That's me. And hubs and both girls.

Stubborn: unreasonably unyielding,

but it's also defined as justifiably unyielding so we'll choose B. 

Sometimes its good to be stubborn.  

Of course if you're the parent of a not quite three year old who can't tie her own shoes, but insists on doing it anyway, mostly when you need to be out the door in less than three seconds you may not see it that way, but trust me it is.  That two year old who insisted on tying her own shoes?

She becomes the young adult child who goes after her dreams with a plan to make them happen. She is the 24-year old who sees hurt or injustice in the world around her and can't sit idly by.

True stubbornness in a child needs to be dealt with. Determination on the other hand, calls for a parent's gentle hand to help focus and guide, and send it spinning in a positive direction. Figuring out which one you've got on any given day can be a parenting challenge, but it's one that needs to be met.

Because one day you'll blink and that very determined seven year old, ten year old, fourteen year old, will suddenly be a young adult.

You'll look at her and see the determination with which she faces the future, and you'll smile. You'll think, 'I remember that stubborn little two year old who just had to try and tie her own shoes every time we needed to be somewhere in a hurry'.

And you'll say to yourself, she's amazing.