Thursday, June 16, 2011

"He smiled at me and then the music started playing..."

Lately I feel like my blog has become a series of lists and/or how I spent my summer vacation type posts. I haven't actually had a summer vacation and in fact it isn't even technically summer yet but you know what I mean. Lists and recaps. Which is fine but I like to have a little bit of substance on occasion here too. Now, if you're thinking I've said all of this as a way of introducing a post of substance think again. I've been out of town and we all know how that goes. I need to regroup today... laundry, groceries and I may even have a date with my vacuum although it's possible I'll stand him up.

Do you find that sometimes you need to just dive in to a post and start writing to get some of the randomness off the top of your head so you can really think? That's how I'm feeling today so whoohoo! Lucky you!

First things first-happy anniversary to us! Today we are celebrating 27 years of marital bliss. And by celebrating I mean hubs will be spending all day and all night on a flight home from India and I will be at home in NJ doing all the fun things I mentioned above...laundry, grocery shopping, vacuuming. We know how to live it up, don't we?

Hubs posted this picture on my facebook page this morning. Yes we are reduced to communicating via facebook sometimes but its fun and allows for a certain amount of creativity don't you think? Sorry for the poor quality but if you knew how long it took me to get that picture off of facebook and on to my computer you would be surprised there is a picture here at all. I don't know if you can tell but there are literally thousands of flowers in that vase. All for me. Well, technically the picture is for me and the flowers are for whoever but the wishes hubs and friends are sending are just for me.

I suppose I could have written a post of substance regarding married life. I think I'll just say that sometimes its hard and sometimes its wonderful and sometimes its just eh. I mean that in the nicest way of course. Year one, year twelve, year twenty seven....whatever the number they are each one filled with ups and downs, highs and lows, happy and sad, hurt and forgiveness, joy and contentment. They are also filled with the mundane. The day to day living that involves bills and kids and car repairs and did you call the plumber and what do you want to do about Christmas and you have a dental appointment on Friday and love you, good luck in your meeting today and on and on it goes....Do you want to know what the secret to a long marriage is?

Staying married. Really, sometimes it is as simple as that...plowing ahead and thru instead of backing out. If you are divorced please don't take offense. I know everyone has their own circumstances and situations to deal with but in our case this is what has worked. Shortly before I got married my mother gave me some advice. She probably gave me a lot of advice but this particular bit I chose to follow. She said this-there will be days when you will wake up and look over at your husband and feel like you are the luckiest girl in the world. Remember that feeling because some days you will wake up and look over at your husband and wonder how in the world you ended up married to him. Just carry on, because eventually that other feeling will come back around again, maybe in an hour, maybe in a week, maybe longer, but it will come back around if you keep calm and carry on. Thanks mom!

Marriage is grows and changes and bends to the point of almost breaking sometimes. The secret is to go with the flow and not get bogged down on the shore somewhere. Does that last line sound like something you'd hear on The Bachelorette? They love their metaphors don't they? Is anyone watching? I have one word for this season-pitiful. Here's another piece of advice regarding marriage-it is highly unlikely you are going to meet your mate on a reality television show.

Well I guess it turns out I did have something semi-substantive to say today. Who knew? And I haven't even recapped my weekend away. Oh well, tomorrow is another day in the blogosphere, right?

And what's an anniversary without music?


  1. Oh I love your Mother's advice! its so true! We will be married 23 years in August. Love the picture he posted on facebook. I couldn't tell they were flowers so thanks for explaining. Enjoy your day with the vacuum and other household chores.

  2. Happy Anniversary! Congratulations on keeping calm and carrying on. Your mom gave you wonderful, profound advice. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, SusanD

  3. Happy Anniversary to you!

    Great advice from your Mom. :)

    P.S. loved that you might "stand up" the vacumm cleaner. hahaha Get it? Ha.

    Oh Lordy, I'm losing it. :)

  4. Congratulations. You guys really know how to celebrate! (I say this in jest, for my husband and I have been known to go to a restaurant each with our own book and read through dinner). :-)

    You will love the poem about marriage that I'm posting on Saturday. I would now write it here, but then I wouldn't have that post for Saturday, would I. And Saturday is my parents' anniversary, although both of them are now gone. They were married 65 years before my mom died.

  5. You have a wise Mother.
    "Happy Anniversary" to you and the Hubs!
    Great post, GF!

  6. Love your advise because as said above it is really true. I will be married 29 years on September 25 we met and have been together since 1978. WOW!!! That is forever ago.

    Congrats to you and hubby on your anniversary!

  7. Happy Anniversary to you and "hubs"! The photograph sent from your hubby was a nice touch :)

    Your post was very good, so much truth in it. I love your mom's advice. In fact, I think I'll pass it on, to my soon-to-be newlyweds.

    I also like your secret to a long marriage, as well :) I'll share that one, as well.

    Ed and I will officially celebrate our 39th anniversary on Saturday, but we're beginning the celebration a little early...headed to the beach for some R-&-R (romance and relaxation) :)

    Great choice of music, by the way! Enjoy your special day--no matter how you spend it :)

  8. Happy Anniversary! I love the advice your mom gave! That is so true, but unfortunately you have to both believe that way. You know things like the facebook post he put up can mean more than anything. It just proves when he is gone, he is thinking about you... you can't get much better than that! I though the post was precious!
    until next time... nel

  9. happy anniversary!! Come on over, I have a little something for you...

    keep on keeping on ;)

  10. Happy Anniversary!!! Your mom's advice is so true. Marriage is a roller coaster with it's high and low points.
    Charlie and I will be married 30 years Monday!!!

  11. Congratulations! Your mom's advice is right on the dot! More people should be given that advice before they marry. When that "not so sure" feeling comes around - keep behaving just as you did when you felt madly in love and it will all right itself. Act like you're in love and you will be.

    Here's to many more!

  12. Love you mom! Great advice I hope to take with me too- one day.

  13. Happy Anniversary! I love that song oldie but goodie. I've only been married nine years but great advice from your mom :)

  14. It was VERY substantive! Happy Anniversary!

  15. HAPPY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY...your Mom's advice is spot on...I've so enjoyed getting to know you this year...It's good for me to observe you as you too have a "far away traveling" watch you plug away through the good, the bad and the ugly. Hark...another song coming on...sigh! HAHAHA!

  16. Joyce, happy birthday! I am so glad you wrote from the heart about what marriage is--you nailed it, girl. As one married 24 years, I can appreciate your mom's sage advice. What a gift to children that their parents "plow on through" and they see the ups, downs, and commitment thru it all. I'm gonna stand up my vacuum today ,too. Got another man on my mind.

  17. Happy Anniversary, Joyce!

  18. Congratulations! Excellent advice ... too many give up when the going gets tough, not realizing that the tough patches only last for a time.

  19. Joyce,

    First of all congratulations on your anniversary, I know you and your hubby will celebrate it when you are both reunited and can just enjoy being with one another again. Thank you for sharing that over the years marriage isn't a piece of cake, even for believers. Every single day you have to wake up and recommit yourself to staying with it and in the end, God's blessings will cover you on good days and bad days.

    Even our own worst days, there still is no one I'd rather be with than my husband. He's that amazing and I thank God every day for the gift of his love and commitment to me.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  20. Great post...Happy Anniversary....I am just a better random blogger. And I so agree, its just staying married....through it all...this has been a hard year for us but after 39 I know that ups and downs are all a part of it...My grandparents were married 72 years...That blows my mind...

  21. Happy Anniversary. I know that many important days come up for us over the years and often Mark is traveling.

  22. It wasn't until just now, as I start catching up on your posts, that your header actually means something to me. ((HUGS))